How to Catch a (Rock) Star (The Dead Hour #1) (24 page)

CHAPTER THIRTY SEVEN

The past week had gone far too quickly. Lillie looked at herself in the mirror. The hair was much better, back to her normal colour, sweeping fringe cut in, although it was shorter than it had been in years, just touching her shoulders. Her skin looked better too, thanks to the seaside walks she had started taking every day.

Talking to Johnny daily had helped as well. He always made her laugh and she found herself looking forward to his calls. She had a lot to thank him for. Between him and Kate, they had pulled her away from the edge and made her push forward with her life.

She took a deep breath, swiped on rose-tinted lip balm and smiled at her reflection. Okay, here we go.

Grabbing her keys and bag, she left the apartment, with plenty of time to spare before her meeting at The Grand. She wanted to settle in and have a stiff drink to calm her nerves before they arrived. She sat in one of the cosy, dark blue armchairs with a rum and ginger beer and crossed her legs, trying to remember all the advice Johnny had given her. Her phone beeped through a message and she dug it out of her bag. Johnny. She smiled and opened the message.

‘Hold out for more babe! Call me if you need to. Kate sends her love with mine. xxxoooxxx’

She sent a quick one back, thanking him and assuring him that she would negotiate. Heart fluttering, she saw the two execs walk in. They spotted her and nodded hello, making their way over.

She stood up to greet them, smoothing her new dark red velvet minidress down over her legs. Formalities over, the two men soon got down to business. Lillie barely remembered any of the negotiations and fought the urge to call Johnny at least five times but finally, it was over and she was a signed solo artist. Solo being the operative word. There was nobody to celebrate with. She politely declined the offer of drinks and made her excuses as soon as she thought it was acceptable. She drove home in a daze, the fact that she had committed to three albums rolling around her head. Three albums of songs that she was supposed to write.

Once inside the flat, she called Johnny.

‘So, how’d it go, babe?’ Johnny’s voice was excited.

‘Umm, yeah, good I think,’ Lillie said.

‘Three albums?’

‘Yep. Three albums of my own songs.’ Lillie paused. ‘How am I supposed to write songs, I can write lyrics but I only know about five chords on the guitar!’

‘No sweat. We’ll do it together.’

‘Right and how is that going to work?’ Lillie said, flicking on the TV.

‘Well, I’ve got a bit of time off until we start back in the studio, so I was thinking I might come over to England for a while. You know, hang with my favourite new solo artist maybe -’

Lillie cut him off with a scream.

‘Oh my God!! When?’

‘Damn, Lillie! That was my ear.’

‘Sorry, sorry. When are you coming over? Oh my God, I can’t wait to see you!’

‘Actually, I was thinking that maybe we could ring in the New Year together, I booked a flight for a –’

‘Oh my God! Johnny! That’s really good news, I’m so excited!’

‘Yeah, I kinda got that feeling, Lil. Listen, I gotta go but I’ll see you in a few, ‘kay?’

‘Yes, yes! Can you please bring me back some Oreos? Double stuffed. Oh and some Twinkies?’

‘Glad to hear you’ve got your appetite back, babe,’ he laughed. ‘Alright, I’ll call you Christmas Day and you can give me your full list, ‘ Johnny paused. ‘I’m real glad you’ve done this, Lil. It’s gonna be fucking awesome for you. Wait and see.’

‘Thanks Johnny. I couldn’t have done it without you and Kate, honestly. I’m dedicating my first album to you both.’

‘You bet your ass you are! Speak to you soon, Lil. Love you.’

‘Love you too and love to the others.’

Lillie blew kisses down the phone and hung up. She was buzzing with energy and excitement. She stood up and looked around Kate’s living room, crossing over to the CD player. Kneeling down, she ran her fingers along the cases, looking for something to suit her good mood. Her heart caught as she saw the Dead Hour CD. Her fingers hesitated over the plastic. She pulled it out. Opened it up and took out the cover. Signed. By everyone, even Lillie had scrawled something. She sat down heavily, crossed her legs beneath her and stared at his writing, the kisses he had put beneath his name. She carefully put the booklet back in the case and replaced it on the shelf.

Her phone rang, making her jump.

‘Hello?’

‘Congratulations!’ Kate and Chris shouted down the phone.

‘Thanks guys. Pretty exciting, huh?’

‘Oh my God, so exciting!’ Kate said, voice still loud. ‘Johnny told you he’s coming over right?’

‘Yeah, he did. He’s going to help me write some stuff.’

‘I know, you must be psyched! Anyway, I told him he could stay at ours, I know it’ll be a squash when I get back but I thought we could share my room and he could have yours, is that okay?’

‘Of course,’ Lillie said. ‘I hope you told him he can’t bring any girls back here,’ Lillie said and Kate laughed.

‘He’s a reformed man. As far as I know, he hasn’t slept with anyone since – well, in more than three months.’

Lillie frowned at the phone.

‘Really?’

‘That’s what Chris says. Anyway, Lil, I’ve got to go but I’ll speak to you in a couple of days. Love you lots honey.’

‘Love you lots too. Speak to you soon. Bye.’

‘Bye honey, mwah!’

Kate rang off and Lillie was left staring at the phone. What was going on with Johnny? No one-night stands for three months? Who knew Johnny could exist without daily sexual activity?

She didn’t feel like dancing anymore. She looked over Kate’s DVDs, choosing a gross-out comedy and put it in the player before going to get changed into joggers and a t-shirt. Back in the front room, she lay out on the sofa, large glass of milk and
a bowl of maltersers next to her and pressed play.

***

She woke up to the phone ringing. Groggy and sleep slow, she sat up and lurched for the phone. Damn, it had gone to answer phone. She waited a couple of minutes and dialled 1571.

‘Yeah, yeah, yeah,’ she muttered as the automated message told her that she had one new message. She drummed her fingers on the arm of the sofa and waited for the beep. There was a long silence and she was just about to hang up, when a voice spoke.

‘Umm, hey, Lillie. I just –’

Her heart stuttered to a complete stop and she gripped the phone tightly, struggling to breathe.

‘- shit, I shouldn’t have called. I’m sorry, I just wanted to say congratulations. About the record deal. So, congratulations.’

A short pause.

‘Take care, Lillie, I - ’ another pause. ‘Bye, Lil.’

The dial tone sounded.

With shaking fingers, Lillie dialled 1471 and pressed three to call the number back and slid to the floor. The phone rang and she held her breath, waiting for him to pick up. It rang and rang and rang. He wasn’t going to answer it.

Enraged, she smashed the phone against the floor again and again. Why had she fallen asleep? She could have spoken to him. Fuck, fuck, fuck.

She sat, leaning against the sofa for a long time, waiting for the tears to come and finding that she couldn’t even cry now. She was emotionless. And now she was going to have to buy a new fucking phone.

CHAPTER THIRTY EIGHT

Jed listened to the phone ring; he knew it was Lillie. He reached out to pick it up twice. Pulled his hand back twice. He couldn’t face talking to her. What if she told him where to go? Said she didn’t want to hear from him ever again?

Finally it stopped. What the fuck had he been thinking? He put his head in his hands. He was willing to bet that he had ruined Lillie’s big day.

What would he have done if she had answered? Hung up probably. Fucking coward.

He’d been so pleased for her. Johnny had called to tell him she’d negotiated a three album contract and he’d felt an enormous surge of pride and happiness for her. Then Johnny’d told him that he was going over to England next week to stay with her, helping her to get a start on writing some songs.

A massive jab of jealousy tore through him at the thought of Johnny and Lil, living together. Alone. If he was a shrink, he would have said that, on a subconscious level, he had called her on purpose. A reminder that he was still about, so that when Johnny arrived, all she would be thinking about was him.

He reached for a new bottle of Jack Daniels and lit a cigarette. A long drag and a big drink and he felt a bit better about things.

Fifteen cigarettes and an empty bottle later, he didn’t feel anything at all.

CHAPTER THIRTY NINE

Lillie had had a bad week, Christmas Eve and Day had been total shit. She had been on tenterhooks the whole two days, hovering by the phone, convinced that he would call again.

Johnny called, Kate called, her parents and Tess called from their cruise ship. Even her brother had called. But he didn’t.

Boxing day, she had given up on him calling and was asleep by eight pm. It wasn’t the most rocking festive season she’d ever had. She was glad to wake up halfway through the twenty-seventh of December and know that it was all over and the world was almost back to normal.

She opened the freezer door and stared into the cold abyss. Poking about with hesitant fingers, she looked for something even a little bit tempting. Hah, there at the back, hiding, was a long forgotten microwaveable cauliflower cheese. Perfect. Lillie grabbed it out and threw it into the sink, blowing on her icy fingers. She danced a little victory jig and pulled it out of the cardboard sleeve, stabbing the plastic film with a fork and shoving it in the microwave.

While it was cooking, she searched for something carbonated to drink. Triumphant, she pulled a lone can of warm lemonade from the back of a cupboard. Back into the icy chill of the freezer to get ice cubes; four left. She refilled the tray and put it back, making a mental note to buy some of those clever ice cube bags in readiness for Johnny’s arrival.

The microwave pinged and she took the plastic tray out and dumped it unceremoniously onto a plate, shaking out burning fingers. A spoon and her glass of lemonade and she was ready for whatever she could find that was half decent on TV. She settled down on the sofa and ate her snack in front of the screen, mindlessly watching the figures move about. When all the cauliflower was gone, she shuffled into her room to get her down and feather duvet and returned to the sofa, curling up under the comforting weight of it and letting her eyes close.

Two hours later and she was wide awake, a cold sweat slicking her body, her chest aching, breathing ragged. The last vestiges of the nightmare clung to her and she shook her head against the image of him and Jessica, radiant and smiling, having just got married. She fought to free herself from the horror of standing by, Johnny’s arm wrapped around her, one hand covering her mouth to stop her from interrupting the wedding, and watching as they kissed and everyone cheered. Sandra had given her a warning look and even Kate had looked disappointed in her for turning up.

Lillie kicked free of the duvet and stood up on trembling legs. Oh my God, she thought, that was so real. Kate’s face swam back into her vision, pitying but full of rebuke too. She wiped a shaking hand over her eyes. She hadn’t had a nightmare like that for a couple of weeks.

Food. That was what she needed. Then she remembered that there was no bread, no cheese, not much of anything except the scant remnants of the sugar laden treats she had bought last week. Sighing heavily, she pulled on boots and her coat, covering her hair with a hat and flinging a woollen scarf around her neck. She grabbed keys and money and shuffled down to the corner shop.

She loaded her arms up with a big bottle of diet cherry coke, milk, cheese, bread, a jar of jalapenos and, as an afterthought, some hot chocolate powder. Juggling her shopping, she stopped to peruse the covers of the weekly gossip mags. Not much news there – models with cellulite, actresses with spots, rumours of actors cheating with the nanny. Same old, same old.

As she turned away, her eye caught the cover of
Kerrang!
magazine and her heart fluttered. There he was, intense green eyes staring out at her from under slightly too long black hair. The rest of the band were positioned slightly behind him, Johnny’s face serious for once, a hand on Jed’s shoulder. Jed wasn’t smiling either, no lopsided grin on his lips. Lips that had once whispered in her ear that she was why he remembered to breathe, the reason for his heart beating. She stood, transfixed. God, he was so beautiful.

Lillie resisted the urge to reach out. She turned abruptly and dropped her groceries on the counter, taking a breath for the first time in a minute. She concentrated on not turning around as the teenager serving her rang it all up. She didn’t hear the amount, just handed over a twenty pound note and took the handles of the plastic bag. When the teenage assistant called after her to give her her change, she turned back and told him to put it in the charity box. Recognition glimmered in his eyes.

‘Hey! You’re Lillie Harris, from The Dead Hour!’

Lillie pretended not to hear him and rushed out of the door, eager to get away, not needing any more reminders of him. She speedwalked back to the apartment, checking behind her several times.

By the time she was back in the kitchen, she was feeling rude and guilty and contemplating going back to apologise to the poor guy. The bread and cheese caught her eye and the thought of cheese on toast with jalapenos overcame her fleeting guilt.

She’d go back another day, when she was feeling more human. Maybe she’d even take Johnny with her.

CHAPTER FORTY

Lillie jiggled impatiently, waiting for her first glimpse of Johnny. The fat woman in front of her seemed to have eyes in the back of her head and whenever Lillie spotted a gap, she moved into it, barring Lillie’s way to the barrier. Lillie sighed loudly and jumped up and down to get a better view at the people streaming through. If only Johnny was taller… she steered her thoughts away from tall men and resumed her jumping.

‘Johnny!’ She grinned wildly and pushed past the fat woman, ducking under the barrier and running full speed towards him. He dropped his bag and guitar and held his arms wide, smiling broadly.

‘Ooof, Lil, babe!’ He picked her up and swung her around and she buried her face in his neck and wrapped her legs around him. She hadn’t realised how much she had missed him. ‘Lil, sweetheart, people are looking!’ Johnny joked.

She clung like a limpet to him for a few seconds longer before reluctantly unwrapping herself and letting him lower her down.

‘Hey, you big goof. Stop crying,’ Johnny said, brushing hair back from her face and wiping a tear away.

‘I’m sorry, God. It’s just so good to see you. I missed you so much,’ she burst into tears and flung her arms around him again. He hugged her back and stroked her hair.

‘Lil,’ he said softly. ‘C’mon, sweetheart. I’m here now, yeah? Let’s go back to your pad and have a cup of tea and some biscuits.’

Lillie pulled away and laughed at his awful English accent. She wiped the tears away carefully, not wanting to cause any more damage to her make-up than she already had done. Johnny studied her carefully and raised an eyebrow.

‘I’m willing to bet you looked pretty hot before you started getting all emotional on me,’ he said with a grin. ‘Still too skinny but I can soon fix that.’

Lillie raised an eyebrow back.

‘You cook?’ she said, trying to keep the incredulity out of her voice.

Johnny looked offended.

‘Yes, I cook. My mama taught me three things, how to cook, how to do laundry and how to treat a lady right,’ he said, snapping his fingers ghetto style and Lillie laughed again, threading her arm through his as he leant down and picked up his bag and guitar.

She talked all the way to the car, throughout the drive and was still talking when they got into the apartment.

‘Lil, babe? Enough already!’ Johnny said, blowing on his tea. ‘You know how that accent gets me going, but please, just shut up for a minute. Shit,’ he laughed.

Lillie blushed and he reached over and touched her face. ‘Man, have I missed that colour!’ he laughed again and reached for a biscuit.

‘Okay, well, tell me about Christmas then. Did you have a good time? Did you get anything nice?’

Johnny fixed her with a look.

‘Right, okay. Your turn,’ she said, taking her own biscuit and a sip of tea.

‘Look, I know you don’t want me to talk about Jed, so I won’t. I’m not completely devoid of sensitivity you know.’

Lillie nodded and looked into her tea.

‘He called me,’ she said to the table, tears swimming in her eyes.

‘What?’ Johnny sounded genuinely surprised. ‘When?’

‘The day I signed with the label.’

Johnny raised an eyebrow at her.

‘I didn’t speak to him. I fell asleep and missed his call but he left a message,’

Johnny looked around the kitchen and Lillie rushed on, ‘I called him back straight away but he didn’t answer.’ Johnny had got up from the table. ‘What are you doing?’

Johnny was holding the house phone out to her.

‘One more time.’

Lillie took the phone, frowning.

‘Ummm. What?’

‘You can listen to it one more time and then I’m erasing it.’

Lillie gasped and clutched the phone to her chest. She shook her head, eyes wide in horror.

‘Lillie.’ Johnny sounded menacingly serious.

‘I can’t do that,’ she said, ‘No, no!’

She stood up quickly and raced for the door but Johnny was quick and grabbed her round the waist.

‘Lillie, wait!’

She struggled against him.

‘Shit! Ouch!’

She rammed her elbow into his stomach and pulled free of him, fleeing to her room and slamming the door. She sat leaning against it, phone still tight against her chest. There was no way he was getting rid of the message. She looked around for her mobile, getting up and grabbing it off the chest of drawers and returning to lean against the door. She dialled the messaging service and listened to his message again, before replaying it and holding her mobile to the receiver. She hung up the phone and finally let it go. She replayed the recording she’d made on her mobile twice, checking it had recorded properly.

Johnny knocked on her door. ‘Lil? Sweetheart, I’m sorry. I thought –’

Lillie opened the door and gave him the phone, her mobile safe in her pocket.

‘One, five, seven, one,’ she said, hugging him.

He hugged her back and whispered that it was for her own good and she nodded into his chest, feeling smug but guilty, before stepping out of his embrace.

He looked at her carefully and asked her if she wanted to listen again and she said no, telling him to just do it. Like ripping off a plaster. He made a confused face.

‘Band-aid,’ she clarified.

‘Oh yeah, okay. Plaaas-terrrr,’ he teased, drawing out the syllables.

‘I’m just gonna go –’ Lillie said, gesturing towards the kitchen.

‘Okay, babe. I’ll just be a sec.’ He started dialing and Lillie left.

***

He knew he shouldn’t but he couldn’t help it, he had to
listen. He closed his eyes in sympathy for them both as he listened to Jed’s stuttering message.

Jesus, he thought, three months of nothing and then suddenly this stunted voicemail. Poor Lil. He would give Jed some shit when he spoke to him next. He went back into the kitchen and put the phone back.

‘Nice phone,’ he commented and Lillie smiled sadly.

‘It’s new. I broke the old one.’

‘Well, that was stup – oh, when – yeah, I could see how that would happen,’ Johnny said. ‘So, how about Italian for dinner? I make a great Carbonara, plenty of cheese, maybe some garlic bread to go with it, a green salad?’

‘Yeah, that sounds great. But aren’t you tired? You’ve been travelling for, what? Like, fourteen hours or something?’

‘Lillie, I do not tire. I have stamina,’ he said, flexing his biceps at her as she laughed. ‘Now, I’m gonna make you dinner and we’re gonna have some wine and chill out, maybe watch some period drama shit on the BBC before going to bed. Tomorrow, we start writing, so I want you rested and ready to write your first fuck-off awesome song.’

After dinner, he insisted on watching TV, intent on finding a period drama but was disappointed to find that British TV didn’t show them every night of the week and had to settle for vintage Bond instead. At least it was properly British.

Lillie snuggled up against him, falling asleep half an hour into the movie. He liked the feel of her next to him. He had missed her blushing cheeks, her naivety and innocence, her steadying influence on the band, even though she hadn’t known it.

When the movie was over, he carried her to bed, noticing how light she was. He hesitated over taking off her jeans and then thought that was stupid. He stripped them off. She didn’t even stir. He pulled the covers over her and watched her for a minute, aching at her fragility and pain.

God, he should have just told her. None of this would have happened if he had just ignored Jed. He could have subtly dropped it into conversation ‘accidentally on purpose’ and Lillie would have known the whole truth and everything wouldn’t be fucked up now.

Yeah, she might have been pissed off for a couple days, but she would have gotten over it. And he wouldn’t have had to fly over to England on the pretence that he was going to help her write songs for a solo album.

He smoothed her hair back from her face and kissed her forehead before going into his room.

God, he hoped his plan worked out or neither Jed nor Lillie would ever talk to him again.