How to Knock a Bravebird from Her Perch : The First Novel in the Morrow Girls Series (9780985751616) (22 page)

“Mama, I’m hungry.”

“Okay. What you want?”

“Pickles.”

“Mya, pickles ain’t a proper meal. Want me to make some potato salad?”

She nodded. “Extra pickles.”

“Okay, baby.”

I watched her skip back off to be with her sisters and wondered what it felt like to be free like that. To not have nothing weighing on you. Just then Ricky came down the stairs buttoning up a fresh shirt. It was already tucked into his slacks and his shoes were shined so bright I ain’t need him to tell me he was going out for supper.

“Hey, Pecan.”

“Hey.”

“I’m going out. I’ll be back later on tonight.”

“Okay. I’ll save you a plate.”

“Yeah?” Ricky grinned that grin I hardly ever got to see, and kissed me on the cheek. “That’s real nice. Make sure you feed my boy some protein. Make him some beef or something. So he come out strong like his daddy. You hear me?”

“Yeah. Oh, um, Ricky?” I hurried after him before he could get out the door. “The banister kinda loose. Maybe you could fix it?”

“Yeah sure. When I get back.”
 

Ricky was always leaving the house smelling good and looking his best. Any other girl might have asked where he was going to begin with. Not me. His leaving wasn’t what concerned me. It was the coming back. If I was lucky maybe one day whatever he was getting up on Chestnut Street would be enough to keep him there.

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slow that day so they put me over in children’s. I figured it was God trying to get my attention. Until that day I didn’t have time to be thinking about this baby that wasn’t even supposed to be there. But being surrounded by cute little clothes and things were making that harder than usual.
 

My first customer only wanted some cute little footies for Easter. She stood at the counter playing with the little barrettes we had in this big clear container while I rang them up for her. The registers weren’t as hostile to me as they were when I first started. I’d seen enough go wrong with them that I ain’t even need to call the manager to fix half the stuff. Just hit the right keys and put in the money. I was a working girl.
 

The fact that I wasn’t all that familiar with the baby growing inside me wasn’t all my fault. The baby had to take some of the blame because it was barely there. It ain’t make me sick or tired or anything really. It was like it really ain’t exist even though the damn test said something else. I told myself that most women wouldn’t believe it either. They’d just go on about their lives, waiting for something to prove that damn test wrong.
 

The woman took her little bag and went on about her way, leaving me alone with my thoughts. What was this baby thinking about climbing up in my belly? It was probably flying around up there in heaven and looking down, trying to find a good mama to climb up in. There had to be better choices around here. Maybe I was the only woman around when it was looking down. Or maybe it was desperate.
 

As I was heading over to ask this man if he needed any help, I noticed something out the corner of my eye. Was a tiny little blue and brown suit. With a bowtie. I never paid much attention to boy stuff but something about it made me go over and touch it. Wasn’t real soft but it was smooth, like if it was gonna get dirty it’d need to be dry cleaned. Wasn’t practical. What baby would wear something that fancy? It ain’t make sense but I kept right on touching it. I had to make myself stop. I was supposed to be working not shopping. So that’s what I did for the next hour. But then I found myself back over in that section. I picked up the suit and put it carefully into a shopping cart then moved on to see what else I could find to go with it. Probably wasn’t even gonna be a boy, I thought. Maybe it wasn’t even a baby, just some kinda mix up. I started ringing things up when the other salesgirl took her break. She came back and I was still at it. I just wanted to know how much it all cost.

“Belinda?”

“Hmm?”

“Did somebody ask you to hold this stuff?”

I nodded. Wasn’t about to tell her I just wanted to see the green numbers light up the register. That I wasn’t about to buy anything.

“Who? You ain’t write their name on it.”

“I was about to.” I scribbled Helen on a piece of paper and twisted a rubber band around the note and the hangers.

“Thought you was leaving early.”

“Oh! Right. I am.” I set the items I’d collected back in the cart. Was only a few minutes before two. “I guess I lost track a time.”

“You better clock out. They get real picky about that stuff.”

Half-running, I ran into the office and pushed my time card all the way into the little machine. Ricky hated to be kept waiting, especially for something like this. It was the day the doctor was supposed to tell him he was having a son. With the first three he ain’t wanna know. He wanted to be surprised. But by the time Nat came along he was obsessed with knowing everything the doctors did. Pestering them about it every month until they told him. Nope. Another girl. He ain’t take it so well. For about a week after that nothing I said or did was good enough. And every night he couldn’t relax unless he’d hit me at least once. But then the week was over and things went back to normal. I had a sickening feeling I wasn’t due to get off so easy this time.

“Where you been? I been sitting up in this parking lot forever!”

“Sorry. I got held up.”

“I make time. You think I ain’t got things to do today? Huh? I got a fight coming up next week—I need to be in the gym. What you up in there doing that’s so important?”

“Nothing.”

“That’s what I thought.”
 

Ricky jerked the stick thing toward the floor and backed outta the parking space. He wasn’t even close to being a good driver. Half the time he ain’t really look where he was going so I got in the habit of doing it for him. I watched to see which turning signal he put on then looked to make sure nobody was walking in the way.
 

“Ricky, watch out.”

“I see them. They see me. They just think they ain’t gotta move they asses. Move!” He hollered out the window.

“They just kids.”

“’Posed to be in school.” He spun the wheel hard to the right and sped off down the street. “I gotta be back at the gym by three.”

“Okay. Girls get outta school about then too, so that’s good for me. Anise said I can leave Nat with her for a few extra hours, though. I was thinking maybe I’d take Nikki, Mya, and Jackie to the park or something. Since the cold kinda breaking now. Maybe even take them to get ice cream or something.”

“Mmhmm.” He frowned at the road.

“Can I have a few dollars?”

“You got money. That why you got that job right? So you’d have money?”

“Yeah but I ain’t get paid yet.”

A red light popped up in front of us and Ricky leaned forward so the steering wheel was buried deep in his chest. He tossed his wallet from his back pocket to my lap. “Go on, Pecan. But when you get paid you gone pay me back. Since you a working girl now and everything.”

I ain’t say nothing. Just pulled a crisp brand new five dollar bill outta the leather folds of his wallet. At first I ain’t see it. It was wrinkled and folded up like it’d been opened and closed a bunch of times. I counted. Seven numbers and a name. Connie. Connie on Chestnut Avenue maybe.

“What you looking at? Gimme my wallet.”

“Nothing.”

We got to the doctor’s office about ten minutes late but I barely noticed. They made us wait another thirty minutes but I ain’t notice that either. Ricky was pissed. Pissed at them. At traffic. And at me for not being pissed with him. I looked at my big strong regular man and just wished he was somebody else. Why he couldn’t be somebody else? Somebody nice and gentle. Why’d it have to be him?
 

“Mrs. Morrow?”

“Yeah! She right here! Right here—come on, let’s go.”

It ain’t take the doctor long to come in and put the sound thing on my stomach. Ricky stood by me, holding his breath. That’s when I made up my mind that if I was having a boy, then he wasn’t going to be like Ricky at all. I would make sure of it. Whatever happened to make Ricky like he was, wasn’t gonna happen to my boy. He was gonna be sweet and nice and thoughtful. My baby boy was gone be a gentle and honorable man.

“So? What is it?”

“It looks like...a...a boy. Yep, most definitely a boy.”

“WOOO!” Ricky let loose, punching at the air. “I knew it! Didn’t I say it, baby? I said it was a boy!”

I nodded and tried to think happy thoughts. Only good thing about Ricky being on top of the world was he couldn’t get mad no more at me or the traffic or the little old lady crossing the street when it clearly wasn’t her turn. Ricky was just plain happy all the way home. He parked the car and turned to smile at me.

“I’m proud of you, Pecan. You a good woman, you know that? You always take good care of me. Gimme babies. I ain’t even mad that it took this long to get a boy. You hear me? I ain’t mad no more.”

The clock on the dashboard said 2:57 but Ricky ain’t seem to notice.

“We’ll name him after me.”

“Ricky Jr.?”

“Richard, baby. Ain’t gonna call the boy—I mean when he’s a boy—yeah we’ll call him Ricky Jr. or maybe R.J. but we’ll put my full name on his birth certificate. Richard Elijah Morrow. Junior. What you think? Sound good, don’t it?”

“I guess.”

Next thing I knew Ricky had turned off the car and was coming around to my side. Every bit of my body tensed up, waiting for that smile to turn upside down. Nothing good ever stayed with Ricky long. I’d accepted that about him.

“Come on, get out.” He opened my door.

“Why?”

“Why what? Why get out? Because this where we live!” He laughed. “Pecan, you so funny. What, you wanna just stay in the car all night?”

“No, I mean why you opening the door for me. You ain’t done that since we were teenagers.”

“Can’t a man wanna take care of his pregnant wife? Damn, woman.” The car door slammed shut and the gate squeaked open. Ricky followed me up the stairs and into the foyer. Then he took off his coat.

“What you doing?”

“Hanging up my coat.”

“I thought you had to get back to the gym.”

“I do. I just wanna spend some time with my pretty wife first.”

First I was his pregnant wife then his pretty wife. Next I was gonna be his sexy wife. When he was in the mood, Ricky wasn’t too hard to figure out. He just smiled and said he wanted to go to bed with me. I ain’t say nothing. Just let him push me toward the stairs. Undress me then him. I wrapped my arms around my stomach tighter and tighter but he just kept right on looking. Claiming me and my baby boy with his eyes and then his hands.

“You showing already.”

“No, I’m not.”

“How you gone lie? I’m looking right at you.”
 

Ricky wasn’t a man to be no kinda gentle. I knew that after having somebody else to compare him to so when his arm jutted out across my chest, pulling me into the bedcovers with him I just went limp, thinking it’d be over soon enough. But then he must have gotten something different into his head.
 

“Mmm, Pecan...come on now. Open your eyes.” He was right over me, the sun shining against his skin until it was all golden and warm. “You love me, don’t you?” His voice matched his skin and he pulled my hips to meet his. “Come on, baby.”

Few minutes later he was hitting my spot. Stuff I ain’t never said before came up outta me. About how good it was. And he ain’t even flinch. Wheezing all heavy on top of me, felt like we were a couple of heathens in heat. My regular old man had a way with my body that made me turn red from the inside out. Burning hot red and wasn’t nothing I could do about it.
 

“See. You missed me.”

I curled up on the bed, listening to the sound of his pants zipping, his belt buckling. He bumped up against my feet when he sat to tie his shoes so I pulled my knees closer to my chest.

“I’m gone be late to the gym, but I think we needed that. Get us back on track. Ain’t no reason for a man not to be intimate with his wife. Mess up things. Mess up how it’s supposed to be between them. But it’s gonna be alright now. I know it. You hear me, Pecan? I know I ain’t always been the easiest man to be with but things gonna be different,” he said patting my hip to make sure I was awake. “You hear me? I ain’t even hit you in...I don’t even know how long. Ain’t you gonna say something?”

The clock said 3:25. The girls should’ve been home from school already. He ain’t like it but that was about all I could let myself think about. My girls. All the panic I had built up inside me went straight to worrying about where they were.

“What—What you doing? You going somewhere?” Ricky asked. “I ain’t never seen you get dressed that fast.”

“The girls should’ve been home by now.”

I couldn’t find the shoes I was wearing so I just grabbed the first pair I could find. They were pink with a little bow across the toes. Ricky’d picked them out, said they looked like they were made for me—sweet and innocent. Wasn’t no sign of the girls on the first floor but I could hear voices coming from somewhere. Ricky followed behind me, looking where I was, saying stuff like I shouldn’t worry, they were big girls. I threw open the front door and there they were, looking up at me from the lawn. Their bookbags laid up against the porch, just waiting for the chance to come inside.