How to Liv (24 page)

I silently watched him get dressed and leave, calling out a “See you tonight,” before I rolled over on the bed with a smile on my face and tried to go back to sleep.

It was no use.  I was still horny and wet, it was impossible to get my mind off him.  Sleep wasn’t going to happen so I slung my body off the edge of the bed and reached into my bottom drawer, taking out my little purple helper.  Something I hadn’t used in months.

I was moaning loudly as I played by myself, totally unaware that my bedroom door had re-opened but I sure as hell heard when it slammed shut.

“What the fuck?” Joel almost yelled at me, catching me by surprise.

I jumped and quickly covered myself with the doona, turned off the vibrator, my hand still holding it in place.

“I th-thought you’d left,” I stuttered in embarrassment, frozen still.

“I forgot my phone,” he explained, coming over to the side of the bed.

“I’m sorry, please don’t be mad,” I pleaded, hiding my face from him, the words coming out in a rush.

“Why would I be mad?” he asked gently as he sat on the edge of the bed, behind me.

I couldn’t see him but it sounded like he was smiling. 
Seriously?  Ah, I was just masturbating, after having sex with him.  Surely that would piss him off.  Make him feel inadequate or something?

“Look at me,” he said, placing his hand in the vicinity of my shoulder.

“No… I’m so embarrassed!” I said, pulling the doona up over my head.  “I’m sorry, you just left me… and I… I just… argh!  I’m sorry.”

“I’m not mad with you,
Liv.  That’s fucking hot babe.  Please don’t be embarrassed.”  He pulled the doona off my head.  I turned to look him in the eyes, seeing no anger but only heat in them.  “Sorry I left you hanging.”  He smirked at me.  “Please… continue,” he said with a wave of his hand.

“
What?
 
No!”
  I couldn’t think of anything more embarrassing at that point.

“
Please.”

“Aren’t you going to be late for work?”

"Fuck work!  I want to see my girl getting herself off.”

My girl.
 
The way he said that sent a jolt right through me, reminding me of just how horny I still was, and that jolt also reminded me of what I still had between my legs.  I moaned and he pulled the covers off the rest of the way, exposing me completely.  I still had one hand on the vibrator and, for a second, I tried to block out just how embarrassed I felt so that I could continue what I’d started.

“Let me watch,” Joel whispered seductively in my ear, his finger trailing lightly down my arm.  As much as I wanted to, I just couldn’t do it.

“I can’t,” I whispered back, squeezing my eyes closed tightly, my cheeks hot with embarrassment.

“Can I do it for you then?”

All I could do was nod as I brought one hand up to cover my face and I let Joel take over from my other.  He pulled the vibrator out of me, flicked the switch and then rubbed it over my clit for a couple of seconds, before inserting it again.  I’d never used toys in the bedroom with a partner before, it was amazing!  As he wriggled it inside of me I realised it actually felt so much better than when I did it.  It was intense and I was coming within seconds.

I was still writhing about on the bed when Joel withdrew the vibrator, turned it off and placed it on top of the drawers beside the bed.  I closed my eyes, as the waves of pleasure started to weaken.  I felt Joel’s lips on my forehead.

“That was so fuckin’ hot,” he whispered reverently.

I opened my eyes to meet his.  He caressed the side of my face.  His eyes held a look of wonder in them, a look of awe and lust, and possibly even something more.

“I’ll see you tonight,” he almost choked on his words.  He cleared his throat and gave me another swift kiss on the lips before turning and walking out the door mumbling, “How the fuck am I supposed to drive to work with a fucking hard on?”

When I heard the front door close I giggled aloud. 
Had that just happened?

Oh my god!
  How has this become my life?

I was just pulling into Karen’s driveway that night when Joel called.  I quickly put the car in park and rifled through my bag to find my phone.

“Hey,” I answered.

“Hi.  Where are you?”

“I’m currently in Karen’s driveway.  Why?”

“Because I’m in your driveway.”

“Did you forget I was going to the movies?  It’s tight arse Tuesday.”

“Ah, that’s right!  All day I’ve been thinking it was Monday.”

“Long weekends will do that to
ya.”

“I guess.”  He huffed.  “Thinking about
your tight arse
all day will do that, too.”

I giggled.

“Laugh all you like, I almost lost my job today.”

“You what?”
  I asked in shock.

“Nah, I didn’t really.  Though I was so distracted by thoughts of you fucking that vibrator,” I sucked in a breath of air, tingles racing through my body, “that I dropped and broke a box of expensive Italian tiles.  You could say my boss wasn’t very happy!”

“Oh, Joel, I’m sorry,” I said through a fit of laughter, not sorry in the slightest.  I tucked my phone between my shoulder and ear to hop out of the car, grabbing hold of it again to start up the path to Karen’s door.

“What the hell am I
gonna do for the next few hours?” he whined in my ear.

“Oh, I’m sure you’ll think of something.”

“Call me later?”

“Okay.  See
ya.”

I popped my phone back in my bag and knocked on Karen’s door. 
Beaming from ear to ear with thoughts of Joel.  Loving the fact that he seemed a little lost without me.

“Let me guess?  That was Joel you were talking to just now?” Karen said when she opened the door. 
“Gah!  Bloody making me sick with that lovey dovey look on your face.”

I only laughed in response and followed her into the house.

“Just let me finish my wine and we can head off.”  I watched as she sculled the last from her glass and rinsed it in the kitchen sink.  “I’m not usually a lone drinker if that’s what you’re wondering.”  She gave me a smirk.

“I wasn’t.”

“It’s just weird, having the house to myself for more than two nights in a row, I feel I need to do something out of the ordinary.”  Grabbing her bag from the bench she added, “Plus you’re driving.”

“
Alrighty then, where to for dinner?”

“I’m easy.  Somewhere near the cinemas
, I guess.”

Ten minutes later, I was parking the car outside the group of cafes near the cinema.

“This one?” Karen asked, when we walked by the café I went to with Joel the last time I came here.  We took seats at a little table outside.  The sun was still up but low enough that the building opposite was shading us.  It was a lovely balmy night.  We ordered our meals and were relaxing with a glass of wine each.  It was nice spending time with Karen.  It was something I hadn’t nearly done enough.  We saw each other every day at work, but socially, other than Friday night drinks, we rarely got together.

“So, I was thinking about Eric’s party on Saturday, any gift ideas?” I asked her.

“Not a clue!  Maybe we should ask Jess,” she replied.

“I already did.  She said she wasn’t chipping in with us as she has her own ideas.”

“Oh, I bet she does!  I can’t believe she’s keeping him out of her pants still.”

“Karen!” I laughed.

“What?  Don’t mind me, I’m as horny as a porn star.  I don’t particularly like Eric in that way, but really, if I had a guy that I
did
like trying to get in my pants, I sure as hell would let him!”  She stared at me and I knew my eyes were bugging out of my head at her words as I continued to giggle.  “Okay, I’ll admit it, I have issues!”

“No, you just need to get laid. 
Obviously.”

“Well, duh!  You
are
a genius!”  She rolled her eyes at me.

“Maybe you’ll meet someone at Eric’s party.”

“Don’t even think about playing matchmaker miss!  I’m serious.”  I could tell by the way her facial expression changed that she really was serious.

“Okay, okay.”  I held my hands up in surrender just as our meals arrived.

“Now tuck in, the movie starts soon,” Karen instructed.

I dropped Karen at her house at about ten-thirty and called Joel from the car.

“Hey, I just dropped Karen off and was about to head home.  What ya up to?”

“I’m at Adam and Raelene’s.  Can I come over?”

“Sure.”

“I’ll see you soon,” he said and promptly hung up.

I was only planning to see how he was and say goodnight to him, but hanging up my phone and starting the car, I couldn’t help feeling like I’d just made a booty call. 
There’s a first for everything.

Joel pulled into my driveway right after I did.

“Did you speed over here?” I asked as he hopped out of his ute and headed to where I was standing on the front porch.  “That was quick.”

“What can I say?  I was looking forward to doing
this
.”  He gave me a quick kiss on the lips and then moved back so I could unlock the door.  Once inside, Joel asked, “You want a cuppa or something?”

“Nah, but I can get you one if you like.” 
Now I know how he likes it.
  “Or I can get you a cold drink?”  I watched as he sat on the couch and looked back at me without answering.  “Joel?”

“Oh… nah, I’ll be right,” he said distractedly.  “Come sit.”  He patted the cushion beside him.  I dropped my bag and keys on the table in the entryway and sat.  He looked uneasy, nervous.

“What’s up?” I asked casually, hiding the worry from my voice.

“So, did you have a good night?” he asked, avoiding the question.

“Yeah, it was good.”  I kicked off my shoes and tucked my legs under my bum.  “We had a dinner at that place you took me to when we went to the movies.”

“And the movie?”
  He was stalling.  There was something playing on his mind I could tell.  He wasn’t himself.

“Good… Joel, what’s wrong?” I asked, getting really worried because he was looking over my shoulder instead of at my face.  It took him a moment to answer.

“Nothing.”  He took hold of both of my hands and his eyes focused on mine.  I could tell he was nervous and it was causing my heart to pump harder.  “Liv, you know how much I care about you right?”

“Yes?” I squeaked out, panic starting to take over.

“I just want you to know that, no matter what, I want to be with you, okay?”

“Joel you’re scaring me.”

“I don’t mean to.”  He let my hands go and cupped the back of my head, bringing his lips to my forehead and holding me there.  “I just want you to know.”

“Are you sure that’s all?”  I pushed my way from his grasp.  “Has something happened?”

He chuckled.  “No.  Sorry.  I didn’t mean to worry you, I just wanted you to know.”

I looked at him for a moment, not convinced.

“Let’s go to bed.”  He stood from the couch and put his hand out for me to take.

“Okay.”

I allowed him to pull me from the couch and down the hall to my room, switching the lounge room light off on the way.  I put the bedside lamp on in my room and turned to face him.  Joel was acting weird and I wasn’t sure if we were going to get physical tonight, considering his mood, so I grabbed a pair of pj’s from my drawer, placed them on the end of the bed and started to undress.  Joel walked to the other side of the bed and started taking his clothes off, too.  We watched each other in silence and I couldn’t help being aroused by it.  I noticed the tented shorts he was wearing and knew he was turned on as well.  Once he was naked, he climbed across the bed and swept his arm out toward me.

“Come ‘ere.”

Swallowing, I took off the last of my clothing and climbed on the bed.  We faced each other on the centre of the mattress, both of us on our knees, naked.  Joel reached up and pushed my hair from my face, his fingertips blazing a hot trail down my cheek, onto my neck then further down to cup my breast.  He looked down briefly, before looking back at my face.

“You are so beautiful.”

Then he kissed me.  When his tongue entered my mouth and my arms came around to stroke his back, I forgot all about whatever went on in the lounge room as my desire for him took over.  He pushed me down on the bed and covered me with his hard body.  Only rocking against me a few times before quickly putting on a condom and entering me in slow increments.

It was different this time, no teasing, no fighting for control, no dirty talk.  He was gentle and sweet, nurturing even.  He made me feel so loved and needed.  I felt worshipped, as he smothered me with kisses and kept an even pace.  Slow, so slow, that his movements made my heart ache.  The desperation I felt was almost painful.  I was at his mercy.  He owned me.

He ran his hand down my side and slipped it under my hip, urging me closer.  I arched my back and cried out in ecstasy as I came.  He buried his face in my neck and followed soon after.

Then we lay, breathing heavily, both of us staring at the ceiling.  Joel’s hand found mine on the mattress and our fingers entwined.  I let out a contented sigh when he squeezed my hand. 
This man holds my hand just as tightly as he holds my heart.
  I closed my eyes. 
I hope he doesn’t ever let go.

“
Liv,” Joel whispered after a while.

“
Mmm?”

He moved suddenly.  I opened my eyes to see him hovering above me, staring at me with his beautiful, colourful eyes.  He rested his torso across mine.  Our hands were still joined, squished between our naked bodies.

“I’m in love with you,” he blurted out in a rush of air.  I struggled to catch my breath.  I opened my mouth to respond but he interrupted me, placing a single finger to my lips.  “Shh, I don’t need to hear you say it back.  I know it’s too soon, but I just needed you to know.”

His eyes seared mine and I felt mine prick with tears.  One leaked out and trickled down towards my ear.  Joel’s hand moved from my mouth, he leant forward and gently kissed my tear away.

“What’s that for?” he asked gently.  “I didn’t mean to make you cry.  I’m sorry-”

I cut off his words by lifting my head and pressing a gentle kiss to his lips.  My head again rested against the pillow when a sob escaped.

“Hey.”  His hand squeezed mine, still trapped between our bodies.

“I love you too, Joel,” I whispered, my voice thick with emotion.  His answering smile made my heart want to leap out of my chest.

“So these are happy tears?” he asked wide-eyed, wiping my cheek with his thumb.

“These are
very
happy tears.”

He stared at me for a moment and then his face broke out into a broad smile.  He was so beautiful to look at.  He looked joyful and relieved. 
So that’s what the lounge room awkwardness must have been about.

Joel kissed me again before
laying back on his side and rolling me into him.  We held each other tightly as we drifted off to sleep.