How to Romance a Rake (22 page)

“It was a carriage accident?” Juliet asked carefully, not wanting to endanger their rapport, but sensing that he needed to speak of the only parent who had shown him any affection.

Alec blinked, and seemed startled by the question, but then recovered his aplomb. “Yes, a carriage accident. My sisters were still in the nursery. And I was preparing to go up to school. It was…”

There was something about his mother’s death that he wasn’t telling her. Juliet knew this as well as she knew her own soul. But she also knew that pressing him for an answer before he was ready to tell her would only make him loath to speak to her about such things. Taking his hand in hers, she let the moment pass.

“I don’t think Mama and Papa would ever actually live apart,” Juliet said. “They are both too concerned with appearances to do anything so public. Papa has his diplomatic reputation, after all. And Mama enjoys the status his position gives her. They make the occasional public foray to keep the gossips at bay, but for the most part they keep to themselves.”

“The very fact that neither of us has been sent to Bedlam is a miracle, is it not?” Alec asked. He seemed grateful that she hadn’t pressed for more information about his mother. “Between the two of us, we have seen enough of unhappy families to write a slew of Greek tragedies.”

“At least you are a man,” she said with more vehemence than she’d intended. “For ladies, I think there is very little to recommend the married state. Even now that there are fewer arranged marriages, men still have the advantage in most situations.”

“How so?” He leaned back in his chair, seeming genuinely interested to hear her opinion on the matter.

“Well, what options are there for a woman who does not wish to marry? Unless she has an independent fortune, she will need to have some occupation to provide funds to live on. And there are precious few options. Especially for a gentlewoman. There is governessing, which pays precious little, and entails teaching someone else’s children while fending off advances from the gentlemen of the house. Mrs. Turner says that…”

She paused, remembering her friend was still missing. A wave of guilt washed over her as she realized she’d forgotten the search for her friend in the tumult of their elopement and escape from her mother and Turlington.

“We’ll find her,” Alec said, correctly interpreting her silence. “I promise you. And hopefully we will learn from Mr. MacEwan that he has heard from her.”

“Thank you,” she said with relief. “I was wondering just how to remind you in a way that was not too terribly bothersome.”

“Already trying to figure out how to turn me up sweet?” He raised one blond brow. “I am shocked, madam!”

At her guilty expression, he shook his head. “I am only teasing, Juliet,” he said with a reassuring smile. “Though you needn’t cozen me. Simply ask and if it is a reasonable request, I’ll be more than happy to comply.”

“Thank you,” she said again, this time more subdued. “Though I cannot help but worry at the time we’ve lost by coming here.”

“You must take care of yourself.” He reached for her hand again, squeezing it in sympathy. “If Mrs. Turner is your friend, she will understand the need to keep you safe from Turlington. No matter how unusual her opinions on marriage.”

“You are kind,” she said quietly, thinking of the secret she’d yet to share with him. “Perhaps more than I deserve.”

But strangely, he was the one who seemed ill at ease now. “Do not put me on a pedestal, Juliet,” he said. “I am just a man, and certainly not a perfect one. Though I suspect my next request will do well enough to show my clay feet.”

She turned her head, looking at him more closely. She had little doubt that he was uncomfortable now, but why?

“What’s amiss?”

Alec ran a finger beneath his neck cloth, as if it had suddenly become unbearably tight. “First, know that what I am about to ask is not out of any sort of … I mean to say that the irregularity of our marriage … or rather, the haste with which we…”

Juliet stared as the most suave and sophisticated man she’d ever met stammered out an unintelligible explanation. Of what she had no idea.

“Dammit,” Alec said finally, “what I’m trying to say is that I think it would be best if we consummate this marriage and sooner rather than later.”

*   *   *

As he watched his new bride’s mouth drop open, Alec cursed himself for a fool. He was not a stripling trying to woo his first woman, for God’s sake. If the fellows at his club were privy to this conversation he’d be laughed out of London.

“Not because I am overly eager,” he said hastily, then seeing the hurt in her eyes, he pinched the bridge of his nose. “That came out wrong.”

“No, I think you were perfectly clear,” Juliet said, her face set as she struggled up from the table. “If you’ll excuse me, my lord, I feel a headache coming on. You will no doubt feel relief at your reprieve.”

“Dammit,” he said in frustration, “no I don’t!”

“So, your sense of duty has overcome your lack of eagerness? Well, pardon me if I do not feel sympathy for your dire circumstances.”

Her back ramrod straight as she turned it to him, she limped to the door.

Before he could think better of it, Alec stalked past her to block the door. Unable to stop in time, Juliet pitched forward until he caught her by the shoulders. For a split second they stared into one another’s eyes. But Juliet’s anger was strong and she broke the contact first.

“Will you please stay here and listen to me?” He dipped his head so that he could regain that connection. “Please.”

“What is there to listen to?” Juliet demanded, her hurt showing in her eyes despite her proud bearing as she tried to push him away from the door. “Protestations that you find me lovely despite my physical flaws? Denials that you just complained about the fact that your duty to consummate this marriage conflicts with your lack of desire for me?”

Tired of her nonsense, he allowed her to move him away from the door, but played the moment to his advantage, using his grip on her shoulders to reverse their positions.

“Lack of desire?” he demanded, stepping close enough to press her back to the door. “Are you mad? I spent the entire drive from London trying not to fall on you like a ravening beast. Are you aware that I will never be able to smell roses again without my body rising to the occasion like a kite in a strong wind?”

He dipped his head to her neck, inhaling, gratified to see the pulse point there speed up. He leaned in and scraped his teeth against the soft skin there.

“Do you know,” he said in a low voice, kissing his way up the curve of her jaw, “that you’ve got this way of nibbling your lower lip when you’re nervous that makes me want to worship your sweet mouth like a pagan?”

Alec’s mouth hovered over hers, their breaths mingling before he covered her mouth with his, rejoicing at the feel of her lips parting under his to allow the intrusion of his tongue. He tried to be gentle, but after so many days of holding himself back, the leash he’d kept on his desire snapped.

The loud clang of a tray clattering to the floor in the next room recalled him to his senses. With reluctance, he pulled back from her, reached out and tucked a stray curl behind her ear. Her expression of wonder was nearly his undoing.

“You see now how wrong you were, don’t you?” he asked, his voice husky.

At her mute nod, he continued. “What I was trying to say, and managed to botch at every turn, was that I think it best if we consummate the marriage now so that there is no question of an annulment.”

He braced himself for her refusal, but even so could not deny he’d be disappointed by it. Especially given how his body even now cried out to complete what they’d just started. Still, he thought wryly, they were in Scotland, where there was no shortage of icy water to dampen his ardor.

To his relief, however, she agreed with him.

“I think it is the only sensible thing to do,” she said, still a little breathless from their kiss.

The tiny furrow between her dark auburn brows, however, made his heart sink.
She’s going to change her mind. It is only to be expected. Indeed, it’s a credit to her sensibilities.

“Can one…?” she began. “That is to say, is it quite
normal
to do…” She swallowed, her fair skin turning deep pink, then finished her thought in a rush. “
That?
In the daytime, I mean?”

Thank you, God!

To Alec’s credit, he did not laugh at her question. Of course, it was mostly due to his vast relief, but that was beside the point.

“It is quite normal,” he assured her.

“In fact, daylight can be a bonus since it…” Realizing that it was probably best not to elaborate on just how much visual stimulation affected the male of the species, lest he frighten her away, he coughed. “It’s perfectly normal,” he repeated.

At her nod, he decided it was probably best to stop while he was ahead.

“Why don’t you go upstairs and have a bath and rest a bit while I go see to the horses?”

Juliet’s relief was evident as she nodded.

They walked in silence up the stairs as Alec escorted her to their rooms. At the door, she turned to face him.

“Thank you,” she said, her expression grave. “For everything.”

He did her the courtesy of not misunderstanding her words. By marrying her, he’d saved her from an almost certain life of misery tied to Turlington.

“The pleasure is mine, Lady Deveril,” he said sincerely. “Always.”

With a short nod, she turned and entered their rooms, her walking stick making a faint tattoo as she went.

*   *   *

Because she’d been unable to bring her maid with her, Juliet had to have one of the maids on staff at the inn assist her with her gown. But, mindful of keeping her foot a secret, she dismissed the girl as soon as her gown was unbuttoned, and asked for a bath to be brought to their room so that she might soak away the aches their journey had caused her.

“You can go back down, Weston,” she told the maid once the steaming water had been emptied into the hip bath. “I can see to myself from here.”

Once the door closed behind the maid, Juliet felt the anxiety and stress of the past several days descend upon her like a blanket of chain mail.

Preparing for her bath, she removed her gown, and sat in her chemise and stockings upon the small chair she’d asked the maid to bring her. Bending forward, she unlaced her left boot and removed it. Then moving to her left she unlaced the corset that held the upper portion of her prosthetic lower leg and foot in place and removed the device, lowering it to the ground on its side. Breathing a sigh of relief at being able to rub some feeling back into the stump of her calf, she removed her garter and stocking from her left leg, and finally slipped out of her chemise. Bracing one hand on the chair, and one on the rim of the tub, she transferred her weight from the chair to the tub’s side, and lowered herself into the steaming water, fragrant with lavender oil.

Alone and relaxed for the first time in two days, Juliet had thought she’d be more traumatized by the scenes with her mother and Turlington, but instead of dwelling on her mother’s betrayal, her mind instead kept returning to the scene here in this inn, with Alec.

Dipping the sponge into the water, she lathered it with a bar of lavender soap that Cecily had insisted she pack in her suitcase of borrowed clothing, and washed the dirt of the road from her body. Slowly, she moved the sponge over the soft skin of her arms, wondering what it would feel like if Alec’s hands were sliding over her. The thought made her heartbeat quicken.

That kiss downstairs had been nothing like she’d imagined embraces between married people to be. It had been wild, and raw, and unsettling. It was hard to imagine elegant, urbane Alec behaving in such a manner. But when he’d pressed her against the door, and brought her hand down to feel the evidence of his desire for her, she’d known instinctively that this man, the one who was not afraid to show how desperate he was to have her, was the real one. The sophisticate who set the fashion and entertained the
ton
with his wit, she now knew, was a façade. How ironic, that the two people who did their utmost to hide themselves from the
ton
were now married to each other.

As she worked her way down her body with the sponge, she wondered what he would say when he discovered her secret. A part of her had felt guilt at not informing him of her deformity as soon as he’d proposed. He had a right to know that his wife was more crippled than he had guessed. And yet, now that her goal of escaping from her mother had been accomplished, she knew that she could not have risked his rejection.

No, she knew she’d done the right thing in not telling him. But as the moment when she would reveal her secret drew near, she could not help the shudder that ran through her at the thought of how angry he would be. She’d convinced him to buy a pig in a poke. And though she might think the ends had justified the means, that did not mean that she relished his anger. In the weeks she’d come to know him, one of the things she’d most appreciated about his personality was his innate sense of fairness. She could only hope that that quality would prevent him from abandoning her.

Leaning back in the tub, she lifted both her legs to rest the backs of her calves on the edge of the tub. Critically, she looked at her right foot, as ordinary and serviceable as anyone else’s. Then she turned her gaze to the empty space where her left foot used to be. Leaning forward, she touched the rounded end of her calf. Once upon a time such a light touch would have brought excruciating pain, but she had worked to desensitize the skin there, to ensure that she’d be able to wear the wooden foot her mother had insisted upon.

“Does it still pain you?” Alec asked.

Juliet gave a little cry of surprise and brought her legs back into the tub with a splash.

“I … I didn’t hear you come in, my lord.” She was mortified that he’d learned of her secret this way. And that he’d seen her ugly stump before she’d been able to prepare him for the sight of it.

“I didn’t mean for you to,” was his calm response as he moved farther into the dressing room. “I was sitting down in the taproom wondering just how much time to give you when it occurred to me that you were likely up here worrying about how to reveal your secret to me.”