How to Survive Summer Camp (16 page)

So the Brigadier flipped over on to his back and showed me.

‘It’s fun,’ he shouted. ‘The water doesn’t get in your face this way. You don’t have to do the armstroke. You can just paddle your hands like this. You’ll stay up in the water so long as you kick your legs.’

‘I couldn’t do that!’

‘Have a go. Look, I’ll hold the back of your head. I won’t
let you go under, I promise. You just lie back in the water. It’s like a big comfy bed, you’ll see. Then just kick your feet, paddle your hands—and Bob’s your uncle.’

‘My uncle’s Bill, not Bob,’ I muttered.

‘My, what a girl for a quibble. Come on then. Over on to your back. I’ve got you. You’re perfectly safe, I promise. Come on now, Stella. Give it a try.’

So I leant back into the water. The Brigadier cupped the back of my head with his big gentle hands. I kicked up with one leg and kicked up with the other too.

‘That’s it. Stick the old tummy out, that’ll help keep you up. Keep kicking with legs. Gently, you don’t have to do the tarantella. And paddle with your hands. There. That’s it! You’re swimming, Stella. You’re swimming!’

I was! All right, he still had hold of my head—but only just. I was very nearly swimming all by myself. It wasn’t fun, it was still as scary as ever, but I was actually doing it.

We practised for ten minutes. Well, the Brigadier said it was ten minutes. It felt more like ten hours to me.

‘I can smell sausages,’ he said at last. ‘Perhaps you’d better run along now. How about just one more go though? Without me this time?’

‘No!’ I said.

But I tried again. It was much worse without his hands. But at least I wasn’t splashing water in my face. In fact if I stared up at the sky I couldn’t see the water at all. So I kicked
and I paddled and I counted. One, two, three, four, five, six. As quickly as I could. Then I put my feet down.

‘I did it!’ I yelled. ‘I swam six strokes, didn’t I? Well, sort of six.’

‘Undoubtedly six,’ said the Brigadier, beaming. ‘Well done! You can go and eat six sausages now in celebration.’

So I wrapped myself in my towel and ran off to join the others.

‘Guess what! I swam. I really swam. Ask the Brigadier if you don’t believe me. I swam, Karen, so take it back about me being a baby. I swam six strokes all by myself, so there! Here, I hope you greedy lot have saved me some sausages.’

I didn’t eat six. I ate
seven
. I even beat James. Evergreen really wasn’t so bad after all. I could swim. I’d produced a magnificent magazine. And I was the sausage-eating star of the whole camp.

But I didn’t tell Mum and Uncle Bill when they came to collect me the next day. It took me ages saying goodbye to everyone. I gave Marzipan and Rosemary and Janie a big hug and I waggled my tongue at Karen and Louise. I said goodbye to all the Emerald boys too and Alan gave me his last week’s copy of the
Beano
. I found Orange Overall and gave her a handful of my chocolate lire coins to share in secret with Foxy. I gave Uncle Ron a wave. I shook hands demurely with Miss Hamer-Cotton. I even tried to stroke Tinkypoo but he hissed and ran away. And I asked the Brigadier to bend right
down and then I gave him a kiss. He went very pink and I think he was pleased.

‘I hope you come back next year, Stella,’ he said.

I smiled because I wanted to be polite for once.

Uncle Bill could barely conceal his triumph.

‘What did I tell you?’ he chortled, when we were in the car. ‘I knew you’d love Summer Camp, Stella. I was right, wasn’t I?’

‘No. You were not right at all. You were wrong, wrong, wrong,’ I insisted.

Mum leant over and gave me a hug.

‘Come off it, darling. You’ve obviously been having the time of your life. And you’ve made all these new friends. Which one was Marzipan? Was she the one with the ponytail wearing the T-shirt we sent you? Did you give it to her as a goodbye present? That was nice of you.’

‘That was Karen. I had to give her the T-shirt,’ I muttered.

‘Why? Did you do a swap with her? Oh, Stella, I’m so glad you had a good time. I couldn’t help worrying about you at first,’ said Mum.

I wanted her to go on worrying about me. And I wanted Uncle Bill to stop chortling.

‘I keep telling you, I didn’t have a good time. It was
terrible
. I was just pretending when I said goodbye. They were all hateful to me. That girl Karen, she
made
me give her my T-shirt. And she messed up all my things. She even stole my chocolate. They were all horrid to me and they teased me about my hair.’

‘I can’t imagine anyone getting away with teasing you, Stella,’ said Uncle Bill.

‘What did they say about your hair?’ said Mum. ‘It looks a lot better now it’s grown a bit. It’s still rather spiky but it looks cute. I think it suits you.’

I was beginning to get used to it myself but I wasn’t going to let them know that.

‘They called me Baldy and they all laughed at me. It was awful. The whole camp was awful. And they made me go in the swimming pool, I
told
you they would. Every single day. It was a special punishment.’

‘Why were you being punished?’ said Mum.

‘Oh they just kept picking on me,’ I said quickly. ‘And the food was disgusting, they half starved us.’

I decided the seven sausages for supper didn’t count.

‘So I take it you don’t want to go back next year after all?’ said Mum.

‘You must be joking,’ I declared. ‘I only just managed to survive it this time.’

THE END

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