How to Win at High School (7 page)

“So long as you pay me,” Adam tells her.

Sara hands over the twenty.
“Duh.”

It works for a while. A couple more assignments. Low-nineties grades. Seventy bucks a pop. Sara pays up gladly now. She's over the weirdness of it. Adam's over the fear.

(Sara's still calling him Pizza Man, but what the hell? She's paying him.)

(Things are happening.)

Then Jessie McGill finds Adam in the hall. “I heard what you're doing with Sara.”

Adam freezes. Adam blinks.

Adam puts on his poker face. “I don't know what you're talking about.”

“Come
on
.” Jessie pulls him into an alcove. Stands so close that Adam can smell her perfume.

It's Candy, by

Prada
.

It's intoxicating.

“So what's the deal,” Jessie says. “How much is she paying you?”

Adam shrugs. “I gotta get to class.”

Jessie puts her arm out. Stops him. She's smiling like this is all one big punch line—

(Which, Adam supposes, it is.)

(He's the Pizza Man, after all.)

“How much?”
Jessie says again.

Adam looks at her. Adam sighs. “Ten bucks a page,” he says. “Twenty bucks extra for an A. You happy?”

He tries to squeeze past her. Doesn't wait for an answer. Jessie doesn't move. “Wait,” she says.

Adam sighs again. He's thinking about how much of a pariah he's going to be when word gets out he's extorting Sara Bryant in second-period physics.

But he waits anyway.

It's Jessie McGill.

Jessie bites her bottom lip. Fixes Adam with those big brown eyes. Then she blows his mind. “Can we make a deal too?”

Adam stops trying to get out of there. For a minute, he considers the possibilities.

Two popular girls.

Two
goddesses
.

Then he shakes his head. “Not going to work,” he says. “We're not lab partners, and Nadja thinks I'm crazy.”

“I'm not talking about physics,” Jessie says. “Nadja just does the assignments anyway. I don't even have to ask.”

“So, I don't get it,” Adam says. “What do you need me for?”

“English,” she says. “That Shakespeare essay. We're allowed to work with partners, remember?”

Jessie bites her bottom lip again.

Jessie smiles.

Jessie says: “Will you be my partner, Adam?”

Adam hands in the Shakespeare paper a week later. A couple days after that, Mrs. Stewart—

(the English teacher)

—hands it back to Jessie and Adam.

“Nice work, you two,” she says. “You should work together more often.”

Jessie McGill takes out her purse and peels off a twenty. “You heard her, Adam,” she says. “We should work together more often.”

“Whenever you want,” Adam tells her. “You know my rates.”

Jessie grins at him. “Then until next time, Pizza Man.”

Still with the Pizza Man.

It triggers something in Adam.

He leans back across to Jessie McGill's desk.
“Listen,”
he whispers.
“You know anyone else who wants in on this action?”

“What do you mean?” Jessie says.

“This homework stuff,” he says. “You know anyone else who needs an A?”

“You mean, like, you'd do their projects too?”

Adam nods.

(Go big or go home.)

“Ask around,” he says. “Paul, Alton, Janie, tell them my rates. If they need something done, tell them to talk to Adam Higgs.”

Jessie cocks her head. “Wow, you're quite the little schemer, aren't you?”

Adam grins at her. “Whatever it takes.”

“These are seriously hot girls,” Sam says. “And they're friends with you now?”

Adam and Sam are eating McDonald's—

(Adam's treat)

—and Adam's telling Sam about Sara Bryant and Jessie McGill while they scarf down Big Mac meals. He gets Sam to look up both girls on his phone. He tells Sam about the scent of Jessie McGill's perfume.

“I'd say we're pretty friendly,” Adam says.

“So, what?” Sam says. “She just
asked
you to do that project with her? Just out of the blue?”

Adam nods, eats a couple of fries before he answers.

Adam's been thinking about this, about how to tell Sam about the homework scheme. It's a delicate subject.

See, Sam was an athlete.

He was good-looking and popular.

Sam would never have to resort to some sleazy hustle to make friends at Riverside.

Sam probably won't understand.

So Adam just shrugs. Chews his fries. “She came up to me out of the blue,” he tells Sam. “I guess maybe she just likes me.”

Sam grins at him. “Hot damn,” he says. “Didn't I tell you your life was about to get better?”

A couple days later:

Adam rolls up to his locker, finds Leanne Grayson waiting for him.

“Hey,” Leanne says. “Do you know Adam?”

“I'm Adam,” Adam says.

Leanne frowns. “Seriously? Everyone just calls you Pizza Man.”

Adam sighs.

“I'm the Pizza Man,” he says. “I'm Adam, too. What's up?”

Leanne looks around. The hall is mostly deserted. Nobody's listening anyway. “Jessie told me about you,” she says.

“Yeah?” Adam's still burning from the Pizza Man thing. “And?”

“And . . .” Leanne trails off. Looks around again, like she's pulling a drug deal or something.

“I wouldn't normally do this,” she says. “It's just, me and Janie want to go to Blue Mountain this weekend. First ski trip of the season.”

“Ten bucks a page,” Adam says. “Twenty extra for an A. What's the class?”

Leanne blushes. “History,” she says. “That War of 1812 project for Mr. Shoemaker. I was thinking if you weren't busy—”

“I'm never busy,” Adam tells her. “I'll take it.”

Adam's lying, of course.

He's busy.

He's really busy.

It's November by now. Teachers are getting squirrely with the projects. He's doing Sara Bryant's lab reports. There's another English essay for Jessie McGill on the horizon.

Adam's got his Pizza Hut job.

(Pizza Man.)

And he tries to see Sam after school, a few times a week. Especially now that this homework scheme is running and he actually has friends—

(“friends”)

—to tell Sam about.

And then he does his own homework too, if he has time.

He's not too busy to turn down work, though. Especially from someone like Leanne Grayson. But if there's one immutable law about Nixon Collegiate, it's:

wherever Leanne Grayson goes,

Janie Ng goes too.

Janie Ng finds Adam in the hallway. Drags him into a corner. “Did Leanne talk to you?” she says. “About that history project?”

Adam nods. “You're going skiing, she said. So? It's not a group project, is it?”

Janie shakes her head. “No, but I was thinking.”

“Yeah?” Adam says.

Janie sighs. “Well, listen,” she says. “If Leanne doesn't have to do a project, I don't want to do one either.”

“You want me to do yours, too,” Adam says. “Two major projects on the same topic and they're due in a week.”

Janie grins. Sheepish. “We procrastinated.”

Adam mulls it over. Each paper's gotta be about ten pages. That's a hundred bucks each, plus the bonus.

It also means writing three papers on the same subject in a week.

Plus Sara's lab assignment.

Plus Jessie's English paper.

“Fuck it,” Adam tells Janie.

“You're on.”

Janie Ng loves it.

Janie Ng's thrilled.

Janie Ng
hugs
Adam.

Yay.

“Where's your phone?” she says. “Let me give you my number. Just in case, you know, you need to call or whatever.”

Crap.

“It's in the shop,” he tells Janie. Lies. “Something's wrong with the battery. I can just find you at school, though.”

Janie's face kind of falls. “Well, okay,” she says. “Wait, are you on Facebook?”

“Yeah,” Adam says.

(Because somewhere between the lab assignments and the English projects and the Pizza Hut gig, he signed up for Facebook.)

(He has two friends.)

(One of them is Steph.)

(Adam's mom made him friend her.)

Janie pulls out her phone. “Adam Higgs, right?”

“Yeah,” Adam says. “How'd you know my last name?”

“I guess I just pay attention.” Janie punches something into her phone. Then she giggles. “Did you just get Facebook or something? You have, like, two friends. How is that even possible?”

Shit.

“Yeah,” Adam says. “I just got it. I had to switch accounts when I transferred schools because I—”

“Stalker,”
Janie says.

“What?”

“You had a stalker, didn't you? That happened to Leanne once. She had to get a restraining order.”

“Shit,” Adam says. “Scary. Yeah, something like that.”

“Okay,” Janie says. “Well, I added you on Facebook. I'll tell Leanne and everyone to add you, too. That way you don't look like such a loser.”

“Ha,” Adam says. “Wouldn't want that.”

“Sara Bryant and Jessie McGill,” Adam's mom says. “I don't know who these girls are, but they're sure good for your GPA.”

Steph nearly chokes. “
You
hang out with Sara and Jessie now?”

It's dinnertime. The Higgs family—

(
sans
Sam, who rarely comes over—

he finds it depressing, he says, and anyway, it's hard for him to get around the house in his wheelchair)

—sits around the dinner table, eating spaghetti. Adam's dad just asked about school. Adam just showed him a couple recent homework assignments, both of which earned him that twenty-dollar bonus.

But Adam doesn't tell his parents about the money. He just shows them the marks in red pen at the top of the first pages.

Steph is incredulous. “How the hell did you manage that, Pizza Man?”

Adam grins at her. “Maybe they have a thing for me.”

Steph laughs and laughs.

She laughs like it's the funniest thing in the world.

Adam lets her laugh.

He's on a roll.

Progress is being made.

Adam uses the profits from Janie and Leanne's history projects to buy an iPhone. It's the previous generation and he can't afford a data plan, but it's an iPhone, anyway.

It's practically a business expense.

He quits his job at Pizza Hut, too.

Well, he doesn't quit, per se.

More like, the manager calls him into the office for a stern talking-to. The guy's about twenty years old. His acne's worse than Adam's. Much worse. “You've been missing a lot of work lately,” he says.

Adam says: “I'm busy. School. Anyway, I always find someone to cover my shifts.”

“That's not the point,” the manager says. “You're never here. If you're not committed to Pizza Hut, there's no reason for Pizza Hut to be committed to you.”

Adam shrugs. “Okay.”

“I want you to think about whether you're really committed to Pizza Hut,” the manager says. “Come back and see me in a week or so.”

Adam takes that week.

He doesn't think about Pizza Hut.

He takes that week and spends it busting his ass on homework assignments for four pretty girls, and for Paul Nolan, who finds Adam at his locker on Tuesday with a math worksheet in his hands.

It's a one-page assignment. Ten bucks. Adam takes the job anyway, because, hell, it's
Paul Nolan
.

Adam busts his ass all week. Then he goes to see Sam.

“You have your whole life to make money,” Sam says. “Trust me on this, now's the time to make memories.”

Adam trusts Sam. Sam's working at the doughnut shop. He's wearing a silly hat and a goofy-looking tie. He's rolling around clearing garbage from the tables.

(
Doughnut Man.
)

Adam leaves and goes home and does more homework. He doesn't think about Pizza Hut ever again.

Adam's smoking with Brian outside the restaurant. He's just told the manager he's quitting. “I'm sorry,” he tells Brian. “I know you vouched for me with the manager and all.”

Brian blows smoke. “Fuck that guy,” he says. “He's a Pizza Hut manager. It's not like he's the president. You having any luck with that Sara Bryant chick?”

“And three of her friends.” Adam makes Brian take out his iPhone and look up Jessie McGill, Leanne Grayson, and Janie Ng on Facebook.

(Then he makes Brian add him on Facebook, for good measure.)

“I think I'm onto something here,” he tells Brian. “Like a secret formula or something.”

“You gonna hook up with these chicks?”

Adam grins at him. “Maybe.”

Brian finishes the joint. Looks at Adam.

(
Even
he
looks at me different now
, Adam thinks.)

“Hot damn,” Brian says. “You really found your balls, didn't you?”

Adam grins wider. Adam shrugs.

“Looks like it,” Adam says.

You gonna hook up with these chicks?

You gonna hook up with them, man?

With Jessie McGill or Leanne Grayson or Janie Ng or

Sara
freaking
Bryant?

You gonna
fuck
them, man?

Adam's thinking about it.