Huffing the air out of his lungs, he looked away but seemed to relax. “Paul Zook got braces because his mamm said he’d never get a wife with those teeth.”
“You have a thing about teeth, don’t you?”
“I have a preference for freckles. I don’t care about teeth.”
“You do so. First Adam Wengerd and now Paul Zook.”
He cracked a smile. “The real question is, do you have a thing about teeth?”
“I like your teeth.”
His smile couldn’t have gotten any wider without stretching beyond his face.
Mandy nearly jumped out of her skin when she heard Kristina’s bicycle bell again, much closer this time. With a quick backward glance at Noah, she adjusted the navy-blue scarf around her hair and brushed the wrinkles from her apron. Putting an extra lilt in her step, she strolled around the corner of the house and greeted Kristina, who had parked her bike on the sidewalk and was putting down the kickstand.
Chester sat on the porch, guarding Mandy’s butter and crackers, looking as if his waiting there was the most important job in the world.
Kristina giggled and took both of Mandy’s hands. “Is that Noah’s dog? Is he here already? Oh, Mandy, I love him so much. If he sees me planting flowers and looking pretty, I just know he’ll remember what we once felt for each other.”
The lump in Mandy’s throat felt like a stale piece of butterless toast. Jah, she was a rotten friend.
Should she mention that nobody planted flowers in September?
“Cum into the house,” she said. “I think we should make some cookies first.”
“For Noah?” Kristina said, nearly squealing her delight.
“Jah, okay, for Noah. And we need to talk.” Making cookies was a gute activity. It kept their hands busy but still gave them a chance to talk about things like how they were in love with the same boy and what a rotten friend Mandy was turning out to be.
Kristina had insisted on sugar cookies shaped like hearts for the only boy she would ever love. Mandy’s heart grew heavier and her throat got drier and drier as Kristina prattled on about how much she loved Noah and how if she didn’t marry him, she would probably shrivel into a little ball and die at the ripe old age of nineteen.
Kristina beamed from ear to ear as they mixed the dough. They could hear the rhythmic pop of Noah’s nail gun, interrupted by the occasional stomp of boots above their heads as Noah moved about on the roof. Noah was close enough to touch, a fact that had not been lost on Kristina. Or Mandy. She felt almost selfish for wanting Noah all to herself.
Breaking the bad news had to be done, and it had to be done quickly before Kristina made a complete fool of herself, if she hadn’t already. But Mammi sat in her rocker knitting pot holders, and Dawdi read the paper in his recliner. Should she suggest they go out and gather eggs so that she and Kristina could be alone?
“It’s a bit chilly out,” Mammi said. “I’m glad I can be in a nice warm home yet.”
No gathering eggs for Mammi.
Dawdi glanced up from his paper. “Mandy, do you think Noah will be warm enough out there? He might like a nice cup of that delicious hot cocoa you make.”
“He’ll like our warm cookies,” Kristina said, nudging Mandy and giggling. “Made with extra love.”
Under no circumstances was Mandy going to allow Kristina on that roof to pass out heart cookies to Noah. “He brought a thermos of kaffe, Dawdi.”
“You might want to check on him, just the same,” he said. Kristina kept right on giggling. “We’ll be sure to check on him.”
They rolled out the cookie dough, and Kristina insisted being the one to use the cookie cutter. “They’re like cutting pieces of my heart and giving them to Noah, one cookie at a time.”
Under no circumstances was Kristina going to be allowed on that roof.
“We need to take a walk,” Mandy said.
Kristina raised her eyebrows. “And look at Noah?” she whispered.
“Nae. I want to talk to you.” She inclined her head in Mammi’s direction. “Privately.”
Kristina’s eyes got wider. “Privately?”
Mandy nodded. Kristina’s eagerness would crumble soon enough.
“Let’s finish the cookies first. I want to have an excuse to go on the roof with Noah.”
The popping rhythm stopped, and they heard more stomping. No doubt with every movement from above, Kristina’s hopes soared higher. Mandy hooked her elbow with Kristina’s and pulled her firmly to the door. “We need to let the dough sit. Let’s go for a walk.”
“Okay,” said Kristina, elongating her vowels as if she were indulging Mandy merely because she was her best friend.
Mandy handed Kristina a jacket and put on her own black coat. Both girls donned their black bonnets before heading out the door. Chester and Sparky ran around the yard, chasing each other’s tails. Once again, Mandy hooked her elbow around Kristina’s and nudged her in the direction of the garden. If they walked amongst the bare peach trees, the barn would block their view of the roof. Kristina wouldn’t be distracted by the sight of Noah, and no one would see if Kristina melted into a puddle of tears.
Mandy hoped that Kristina wouldn’t melt into a puddle of tears. Even though she only imagined her feelings for Noah, infatuation was a powerful thing.
Kristina didn’t take her eyes from the roof as they trudged across the yard. “Do you see him, Mandy? You are such a gute friend to let me come. The days I can’t see him are the saddest days of my life. I love him so much.”
Mandy took a deep breath. There would be tears. Lots and lots of tears.
“Where are we going?” Kristina asked when they passed the barn and walked among the trees in Dawdi’s tiny peach orchard.
Mandy glanced behind her. They were out of sight of the roof. “Right here,” she said. “I need to tell you something.”
Kristina walked to her left and strained her neck to see over the roof of the barn. “I can’t see Noah anymore. Let’s talk in the front yard.”
“Nae. I don’t want anyone to see us.”
“Will it take very long?”
Mandy laid her hands on Kristina’s shoulders. “We have been best friends for a long time.”
“It seems like forever. I thought I’d die when we moved to Bonduel.” Kristina frowned as doubt traveled across her face. “Is something wrong?”
“I wouldn’t ever want to hurt you.” Mandy pursed her lips.
For a split second she considered breaking things off with Noah. Wasn’t her friendship with Kristina more important? She thought of Noah’s kisses, of his gentle spirit and loyal heart. She couldn’t let him go, not even if it meant losing Kristina.
Kristina narrowed her eyes. “What do you mean?”
“I mean that you know how important our friendship is to me.”
“Of course I do. You invited me here today, didn’t you? That is the act of a true friend. Because of you, I know I can work up the courage to talk to him. Maybe even ask him to take me to a gathering. Who knows what can happen after that? He’ll grow to love me if he just gets a chance.”
It was nearly impossible to breathe with the icy hand of guilt clamped around her throat. She felt as if she almost had to cough the words out of her mouth. “Krissy, there’s something I need to tell you. I’m afraid some things have happened. I . . . the thing about it is . . . Oh, Krissy, I feel horrible, but I think Noah likes me. And I like him. We like each other.”
Kristina narrowed her eyes. “You would never do that to me.”
A hole yawned right in the middle of Mandy’s chest. “I’m . . . I’m sorry. I didn’t mean for it to happen. He’s just so wonderful.”
Kristina scowled. “I warned you.”
“You did?”
“All the girls like Noah. He’s handsome and polite. I warned you not to get yourself pulled in. He won’t return your affection.”
Oh dear. Kristina wasn’t going to make this easy. What could she do to make Kristina see the truth? “Nae, he likes me as much as I like him.”
“How do you know? How could you possibly know that? He doesn’t like you. He likes me.” Kristina’s voice rose in pitch.
Mandy had to stop her before she worked herself into a frenzy. “He kissed me yesterday,” she blurted out. She hadn’t wanted to share that bit of information, but she wanted to be very clear about where she and Kristina stood. They were, after all, still best friends. At least for another minute or two.
Complete silence as Kristina held her breath and stepped away from Mandy. Her mouth fell open, and she looked at Mandy as if trying to make out her shape through a clouded window. Before Mandy even knew what happened, Kristina drew back and slapped her hard across the face.
Gasping, Mandy stumbled backward, more out of shock than pain. She’d expected a fierce reaction, but nothing quite so violent. A river of tears sounded quite tame next to a blow across the face.
Kristina immediately blanched as white as Mammi’s hair. “Oh sis yuscht. I didn’t in a thousand years mean to do that.” Mandy hoped Noah wouldn’t hear the racket and come running.
Mandy laid her hand against her cheek. “I . . . I probably should have broken the news more gently.”
Kristina seemed to forget about her short-lived remorse. She scowled. “How could you, Mandy?”
“I’m sorry.”
“I shouldn’t have let you go to his house. I knew as soon as you saw him you’d fall in love, just like every other girl in Bonduel.”
“That’s not what happened.”
Kristina took a step toward her, and Mandy immediately took two steps back. She’d rather not get socked in the chin. “I should have known you’d try to steal him.”
Mandy held out her hands in surrender. “If I thought you two really had a relationship, I would have stayed away. But you know you don’t have a relationship and never did. You and Noah are practically strangers.”
Kristina folded her arms. “What do you know about it? We saw each other every day last summer.”
“Because you spied on him, not because you dated.”
“He took me home from a gathering.”
Mandy tried to say it gently, but there was no nice way around the truth. “That doesn’t mean he was interested in you. You wanted to believe he loved you, but he never did.”
Kristina puckered her lips as if she’d just eaten three lemons. “You want to believe he never loved me so that you don’t feel so bad about betraying your best friend.” She sat down in the dirt and buried her face in her hands. “You tricked me into showing you where he lives.”
“Why would I have tricked you?”
“Because you wanted to steal Noah.”
Mandy felt simply horrible. Was there any way to make Kristina see reason? “It’s not stealing if it doesn’t belong to you in the first place.”
Kristina wailed louder. “It’s not fair. You’re prettier than me and smarter. How can I win his heart now? I’ll never get a husband if you don’t go back to Charm.”
Mandy exhaled slowly and sat next to her friend, but not close enough to get an elbow to the kidneys. Kristina had worked herself into a tizzy. There would be no reasoning with her now. Still, she had to try. “You are a very beautiful girl. And your wheat bread is so much better than mine. Of course you’ll get a husband. Any boy would be blessed to have you for a wife.”
Kristina jumped to her feet. “Even Noah?”
“I’m sorry, Krissy. Noah doesn’t love you.”
“Because you stole him.” She kicked the dirt at her feet. A few flecks landed on Mandy’s dress. “You couldn’t possibly love Noah the way I love him. You only even met him two weeks ago.”
“Two and a half,” Mandy said weakly.
“I’ll get him back, wait and see.” Kristina marched out from under the shelter of the peach trees before pausing to turn around and glare at Mandy. “And I will not invite you to our wedding.”
“If you’d try to understand—”
Kristina turned on her heels and refused to look back. “Go back to Ohio and leave me alone.”
Mandy sat in the dirt, feeling like dirt, as she watched Kristina slam her kickstand with her foot, jump on her bike, and ride down the hill as fast as she could go.
She stood and brushed the dirt from her dress. Would poor Kristina ever recover from her broken heart? Would she ever speak to Mandy again? With Kristina, things were either wonderful or horrible. Maybe she’d wallow for a few days and then see fit to forgive her best friend. Maybe she’d give up on Noah and give the other boys in the community a chance.
Mammi had a long list of potential suitors. Was the list transferable?
She walked out from among the trees. Her heart skipped a beat when she glanced up and saw Noah standing on the ridgeline staring at her, obviously unaware of what had passed between her and Kristina. He grinned and waved. She waved back.
Just the sight of him made her feel a hundred times better.
No wonder Kristina loved him so.
Her stomach clenched. And a hundred times worse.
“Did Kristina have to leave early?” he said.
“Jah,” was the only answer she could muster.
“At least you can stay inside until lunch. It’s getting cold yet.”
“We made cookies. I’ll bring some up.”
“I’d like that,” he said, swinging his hammer in the air. He turned to get back to his shingles but reversed direction just as quickly. “I almost forgot,” he said. “Have fun on your picnic.”
Any happiness she felt upon seeing Noah hissed out of her like air from a leaky balloon. Instead of eating Noah’s butter for lunch, she was going on a picnic with Paul Zook.
Someday he’d have really nice teeth.
At least she could look forward to that.
Chapter Fifteen
Noah cleaned his tools before stowing them in his toolbox and loading them on the small trailer he’d fashioned out of some old rubber tires and a few boards. Now that the old shingles were cleared from the roof, he hadn’t needed to borrow Shirk’s team and wagon. He could barely afford to keep his own two horses as it was.
Even though the sunset chilled the air, sweat trickled down the back of his neck. He’d put in almost twelve hours today. A gute day’s work, even if it had been tinged with bitterness.
Wiping the moisture from his forehead with his sleeve, he gazed at the half-finished roof. He would have liked to work longer, but dusk had forced him down and turned his thoughts toward home, where nothing but silence, frustration, and heartache awaited him.
One more week and Felty’s roof would be finished. Then what would be his excuse for coming around to see Mandy every day?
He frowned as he gazed up at the overcast sky. The shroud of darkness fit his mood perfectly. Mandy might have liked his kisses, but he could never hope to compete with the parade of suitors that Anna had lined up for her granddaughter.
And he had been unfortunate enough to witness the spectacle from the roof today.
It was bad enough that Paul Zook had taken her out for a lovely picnic at the pond early this afternoon. Noah knew it had been “lovely” because Paul had told him so when he and Mandy had returned. Then less than an hour ago, Adam Wengerd and his brilliant white smile had taken Mandy to a gathering with some of die youngie in the east district.
Watching the girl he loved ride off with someone so irresistibly charming set Noah’s teeth on edge. Why was Anna so enthusiastic about Adam Wengerd? His smile wasn’t that electrifying.
Noah secured the toolbox to the trailer, trying not to frown so hard that he cracked his jaw. Mandy was planning to return to Charm in two weeks, three if Anna had her way, but still, it wasn’t enough time, especially when she was wasting so much of it with other boys. If he spent every waking hour with her for the rest of his life, it still wouldn’t be enough time.
When she left, there would be a hole in his chest where his heart had been. He hadn’t realized there was such a huge void in his life until Mandy had come to fill it.
He’d probably gotten three hours of sleep last night, tossing and turning and wondering what he could do to convince her to stay for another three or four weeks. Or to stay forever.
He shook his head at that silly notion. There was no possible way he would convince her to accept his hand in marriage. They’d only known each other for two weeks yet. And despite her protests, she really was too good for him. He lived in a run-down shack with a fater who was so drunk most nights that he couldn’t even put on his own nightclothes. What girl in her right mind would want to marry into that trouble? Hadn’t she said as much last night when she’d brought that counselor to his house?
Do you want to take care of your dat for the rest of your life? What happens if you want to marry and raise your own family?
It was a sure bet no girl would willingly take that on, even if she was in love with him. If he asked Mandy to marry him, she’d laugh. It was a sin to be prideful, but he didn’t like to be laughed at.
Maybe if he were the bishop’s son with five hundred acres of land and a whole stable full of horses, things would be different.
He wanted to marry Mandy. He couldn’t marry Mandy.
The end.
He swiped his hand across his mouth as if that could erase the memory of Mandy’s sweet lips or her perfect freckles. His gut clenched. He loved her. After only two weeks, he loved her. But she was going to leave him, just like Mamm had left. Just like Yost and Lisa had left.
The pain was so thick, he nearly choked on it. He should never have let his feelings run so far away from him. They weren’t coming back anytime soon.
“Come on, Chester,” he called as he climbed into his homemade wagon with the old courting buggy seat he’d salvaged from a rummage sale. Chester hopped into the wagon and sat on his haunches next to Noah. His ears twitched at the prospect of a ride.
The horse was already pointed in the right direction. Noah jiggled the reins and the horse took a few steps forward. Noah heard a car crunching its way up the gravel lane and pulled back. Better to let the car up the hill first before he tried to go down. He didn’t want a collision.
Who was coming to Anna and Felty’s in a car? Mandy and Adam had left in a buggy.
Even though it wasn’t completely dark yet, the headlights led the way as the car crawled up the lane. Cars always took the road to Huckleberry Hill slowly. If they went too fast, they’d just spin their tires on the gravel, not to mention risk hitting a horse or a bicycle coming the other way.
Noah recognized the car as it came closer. It was Peggy Lofthouse’s. She often drove the Amish around town. Peggy pulled next to Noah’s wagon and rolled down her window. It was too dark to see much inside her car, but Noah could see that someone sat next to her in the passenger seat. “Noah Mischler. I thought you’d be up here. How’s the roof coming?”
He managed a smile. Peggy didn’t need to take the brunt of his sour mood. “About half done. Should be another week or so.”
“I brought you a visitor.”
Noah glanced behind him wondering if she were talking to somebody else. “Me?”
The car door opened, and shock like a bolt of electricity hit Noah squarely between the eyes.
“Yost?”
With his hand leaning against the roof, his brother stood with one foot still in the car as if unsure he should have been there. “Hey, Noah. How are you?”
Considering he hadn’t seen his brother for three years, he was completely stunned. That’s how he was. “I am gute. How are you?”
“I . . . um . . . I . . .” Yost’s voice cracked into a million pieces. “I’ve missed you.”
“I’ve missed you.” Noah’s eyes stung with sudden tears. Yost was back, looking older but still so young and so unsure of himself. Noah wasn’t about to let him stand there wondering if he was welcome or not.
Half laughing, half sobbing, he leaped from his wagon, strode around to the other side of the car, and took his brother into a rib-crushing embrace. Yost laughed as if his heart would break and returned Noah’s hug with a powerful embrace of his own.
Noah pushed Yost to arm’s length. “Look at you. You’re probably four inches taller.”
A wide grin exploded onto his brother’s face. “And you’re probably four inches thicker.”
The laughter overflowed and left both of them breathless.
“What are you doing here?” Noah asked, the astonishment clear in his voice.
“I rode the bus to Shawano, and Peggy was kind enough to pick me up.”
“Where are you sleeping? Do you want to stay at my . . . the house?”
Yost nodded and there was a tinge of sadness in his voice. “Of course. Peggy took me there first, but no one answered when I knocked. She thought we might find you up here.”
“Do you need me to drive you back to the house?” Peggy asked.
Noah leaned over so he could see Peggy inside the car. “Nae. He can go with me.”
Peggy propped both hands on the steering wheel. “Okay. Call me when you need another ride.”
Yost pulled a small leather bag from the floor of the front seat and gave Peggy some cash. “Denki for the ride.”
Peggy put the car in reverse, did a four-point turn, and disappeared down the lane.
“I’m glad we found you up here,” Yost said. “I wasn’t sure if that house was really where you lived. I’ve never been there.”
Noah slung an arm around Yost’s neck. “You won’t hurt my feelings to say it.”
“Say what?”
“It’s a shack.”
Yost’s eyes flashed with pain. “I just didn’t realize. I thought . . . I guess I didn’t know what I thought. You’ve been sending a lot of money to Mamm. Maybe more than you can afford.”
“We do okay. There’s a shed where Dat can work.”
Yost’s voice cracked again as if he couldn’t possibly keep it from breaking. “I should have known you’d send everything to us.”
Noah didn’t deserve anybody’s thanks. “How’s Mamm?”
“She’s okay,” Yost said, setting his leather travel bag on the ground. “The community accepts her, mostly. She has a job cleaning houses.”
“I know,” Noah said. “She told me.”
“Lisa thinks she’s in love with a boy named Joe Mast, but he’s stringing about five girls along at the same time.”
Noah gave Yost a half smile. Lisa was all grown up now, and he was missing it. “Tell her not to worry. I’m saving a little extra for her wedding.”
Yost nearly catapulted himself into Noah’s arms once again. “I’m sorry, Noah,” he sobbed. “I missed you so much.”
Noah couldn’t speak. Not with this overpowering emotion threatening to burst from his chest.
“I was so mad at you,” Yost said. “I wanted you to pick me over Dat. He chose to drink. I thought he should bear the consequences of his drinking. I wanted you to love me more than you loved him.”
“I do, Yost.” Tears trailed down his cheeks. “But I couldn’t leave him to himself like that. Even when we sin, even when our trouble is of our own making, Jesus doesn’t abandon us. I couldn’t abandon Dat. He needed me.”
“I needed you.”
“I know, but God wanted me to stay. I knew you would be okay. I knew you were strong enough.”
Yost covered his eyes with his hand. “I can never be as strong as you.”
“Jah, you can.”
“You’re so good, Noah, and I’m so stupid.”
“No brother of mine was ever stupid.”
“I’ve held on to this grudge and cut off all contact. I should have written. I could have visited. Even from long distance, I needed you, but I was too proud to admit it. You could have helped me in so many ways if I had let you. The letter finally made me realize that.”
“The letter?”
“From your friend Mandy.”
Yost might as well have socked Noah in the mouth. “Mandy wrote you a letter?”
“Didn’t you know?” He furrowed his brow. “Maybe I misread the letter. I thought you wanted me to come.”
“Of course I wanted you to come. Just because I didn’t know about it doesn’t mean you’re any less welcome. I’m surprised, that’s all.”
He didn’t know why he felt surprised. Mandy couldn’t resist sticking her nose into his business. She thought he needed fixing.
“What did the letter say?” Noah asked.
“She told me that you are taking gute care of Dat, like the Good Samaritan. Like the Lord Jesus would have wanted you to. She said that staying behind with Dat was the hardest decision you ever had to make, and you shouldn’t have lost your family because of it.” Yost put a hand on Noah’s shoulder. “She set me straight, that’s what she did. She told me that as a Christian, I needed to forgive you, and as a brother, I needed to make amends. It wasn’t anything I didn’t already know. I suppose I just needed a kick in the pants.”
“Mandy can do that to a person.”
“I took some days off work and got on the first bus to Wisconsin.”
Noah eyed his brother. Praise the Lord, Mandy had sent the letter before he’d gotten mad at her last night. She probably wouldn’t have sent it after his reaction, but this time her meddling had never been more appreciated.
“She went on and on about what a godly man you are and a devoted son and how gute you are with a hammer and how you can fix any machine ever built. Three whole pages about how wonderful you are.” He grinned. “She likes you.”
Noah couldn’t stifle a smile. Just thinking about Mandy made him goofy. “She’s exaggerating.”
“Do you like her? Or is she a forty-year-old spinster with knobby knees?”
Noah took Yost’s bag from the ground and laid it in his wagon. “No knobby knees. She has freckles.”
Yost rubbed his chin as if deep in thought. “Freckles? She sounds cute.”
“She’s beautiful.”
“So you like her.”
“If you think I’m going to spill my guts to you when you’ve only just come, you’re crazy,” Noah said.
Yost thumbed his suspenders. “Spill your guts? It sounds serious.”
If Yost knew that he had only known Mandy for two weeks, he would probably have serious doubts about Noah’s sanity. And if he guessed how deeply Noah was already in love, he’d know for sure his brother was crazy. Noah sobered slightly. He was crazy, because Mandy was never going to love him like he loved her, not with Adam Wengerd coming around so often.
Noah pushed down the sadness that threatened to overtake him and smiled. He’d forgotten that mischievous grin of Yost’s. “I bet you’d like to know.”
“I’ve got some time. I’ll wear you down.”
Noah gave Yost a friendly shove. “How long are you going to be here?”
“A week is all I was able to get off work.”
“It’s not enough, but it’s something,” Noah said.
Yost pumped his eyebrows up and down. “Will I get to meet the girl with freckles?”
“Not if I can help it.”
Yost threw up his hands in protest. “Hey, we’re practically old friends. She sent me a letter, remember?”
Noah pointed to his wagon. “You’ll have to sit in back.”
“Is this because you’re afraid I’ll steal your girl?”
“It’s because there’s only one seat, and I’m a better driver than you.”
Yost shrugged and jumped into the small wagon bed. He wrapped his arms around Chester’s neck. “Chester. You’re not a puppy anymore.” Chester whined and licked Yost’s hand. Yost scratched behind Chester’s ears and nuzzled his face close to Chester’s.
“We’ll be home in about half an hour,” Noah said. “You don’t mind scrambled eggs for dinner, do you?”
Yost leaned back on one hand while resting the other hand on Chester’s neck. “How’s Dat?” he asked quietly.
Noah lowered his eyes. “About the same.”