Hungry for Love (47 page)

Laura sighed.  He was talking about the car
,
not the marriage. 
“
I just don
’
t know you any more.
”

“
Let me come home. I promise to make it right.  I
’
m never going to do anything like this again.  I swear.
”

Laura lay down the peeler and thought for a moment.  Her heart twisted inside her.  She suspected that whatever choice she might make would be incorrect. 
“
I don
’
t know
,”
she sighed
,
“
I don
’
t think I
’
m ready for that yet.  Maybe not ever.
”

Kevin
’
s voice grew irritated. 
“
What else do you want from me
?
  I said I
’
m sorry.  What do you expect from me anyhow
?
  You don
’
t even know what I
’
ve gone through lately
,
what I
’
ve suffered.  It
’
s not like you even know I
’
m alive.
”

“
Yes
,
Kevin
,
it was my fault you screwed your partner
’
s bimbo.  That and every other disgusting thing you
’
ve ever done.  Clearly I should be begging your forgiveness instead of the other way around. Please forgive me for hanging up on your whoring ass.
”
  Laura slammed the phone back into its cradle and sat down on a stool at the counter
,
tears streaming down her cheeks. 

Angie was feeling rather nervous as she parked her car in the driveway between the guesthouse and main residence.  Gingerly removing a container
,
she walked softly to the side door and tapped on it.  Her dad appeared rather too quickly
,
she thought
,
but she smiled brightly at him and tried to sound normal.

“
Hi
,
Daddy!  Here
’
s some lasagna.  Thought you might like a little snack.
”

The judge gestured dismissively at her
,
scowled his customary scowl
,
and growled crankily
,
“
It
’
s the middle of the night.  Go to bed!
”

Angie glanced at her watch.  It wasn
’
t even quite nine o
’
clock.  She watched him gesture once again and then
,
without even taking the food from her hands
,
closed the door practically in her face.  She stood there for a moment
,
just breathing
,
feeling hurt but also enraged. 

“
I hate it when you treat me like that.  I
’
m angry at you
,”
she said almost under her breath. 
“
You
’
re a lousy dad.
”
  Then even more softly
,
she whispered
,
“
How was that
,
doctor
?”

She turned to walk away
,
then turned back around and with one hand smashed the food down onto the doorstep
,
and with more than a little satisfaction watched it open and go splat all over the place.  She should have done that long ago.

Kevin sat in the solitude of his office
,
his head in his hands.  Despite the high of having a brand new car
,
he couldn
’
t shake the feeling that in a few short days everything had turned to utter crap.  Could it be possible that his life was in a downturn and might not recover
?
  No
,
he didn
’
t believe that.  But what if it were true
?
  What if life as he knew it were over
?
  That could be true.  A new car didn
’
t make up for the security of losing his practice or his wife.  How do you go from having everything
,
from life being wonderful
,
to being trapped in utter misery
,
that
’
s what Kevin wanted to know.  It was like some sort of bizarre Greek tragedy.  Militant marauders come along and hustle you down some road toward chaos.  How does that happen in real life
?

Kevin took the little rake from his Zen garden and whacked the dangling balls on his
Newton
’
s Cradle
,
setting them aclatter.  The noise was soothing
,
but it wasn
’
t lost on Kevin that basically he was witnessing what he had recently endured—his equilibrium set out of balance by outside forces.  Life was so strange.

What should he do to placate his wife
,
that was the main thing on Kevin
’
s mind.  Always in the past she was receptive to his promises and surely that meant something.  Kevin wanted to believe it meant she loved him and trusted him and recognized that it was all just him letting off steam and didn
’
t mean anything in the larger scheme of things.  But could women really comprehend that
?
  Shopping was what women did to let off steam but Laura had never been that big a shopper.  She was a doer
,
she ran that anti-smoking thing
,
as though anyone who wanted to smoke could be persuaded to stop
,
but at least it was better than coming home daily with a cluster of shopping bags as did most doctors
’
wives.  He was lucky.  He had been lucky.  The change of tense in his thoughts frightened Kevin.  Perhaps it all was over.

Then his cell phone rang and Kevin grabbed it
,
pushing the button and prayerfully saying
“
Laura
?”

“
No
,
it
’
s me
,
Angie.
”
  She stood at the back of her guesthouse in the tiny kitchen area
,
aggressively kneading a ball of dough on a flour-dusted cutting board.  The rhythm of her movements was pleasant and calming and she could hear clearly through the speaker phone.  Kevin sounded distraught again.  What was up with him
,
she wondered. 
“
Are you okay
?”

He sighed heavily. 
“
No.  Your dad scared the shit out of me today.
”

Angie couldn
’
t fathom that the morning
’
s fracas could have been that traumatic for Kevin. 
“
But you
’
re twice his size and half his age.  I thought for a bit you
’
d end up killing him.
”

Kevin laughed.  It was nice to hear that he was big and young even though he knew that the judge was probably less than ten years his senior.

Angie was relieved to hear him chuckle.  Maybe he wasn
’
t as unhinged as he
’
d seemed previously. 
“
Well we both know what he
’
s like.  How about coming over to finish what we started—well almost started.
”

“
I can
’
t run the risk of running into your dad.  He
’
d have me shot.
”

“
No sharpshooters tonight. He
’
s in bed and asleep by ten.  No way he
’
d spot you.
”

“
I don
’
t think so
,”
said Kevin
,
sighing once more.

Angie
’
s voice grew tremulous
,
and all the feelings for Kevin that for so long had been with her flooded over her
,
and the words poured out. 
“
We were just so hot for each other before.  And it
’
s more than that
,
you know it is.
”