Hurt: A Bad Boy MMA Romantic Suspense Novel (13 page)

“You don’t. Benito wants you and Jude. He’s not going to let this go much longer. In his mind, you have to be connected to your father. So if he kidnaps you and Jude, it gives him leverage.”

“My father won’t care,” I said. “And I have no money.”

“Then he’ll kill you. Both of you.”

That made the room suddenly feel icy cold. I took another sip of the wine. I needed it. Oh God, I needed it. Sitting across from Noah left my body on fire. The reality hovering around us left me shivering. Fire and ice battling the never ending war inside me.

Noah leaned forward and touched my face. I was really getting used to him doing that. “I grew up with nothing. My mother was a stubborn Irish woman. My father was a bum. An Italian bum. He ran favors for
friends.
He did the books, dug the holes, pissed away everything he had on whiskey and women that took his money and gave him nothing in return. Benito’s uncle put a bullet in the back of my father’s head, finally ending it. My mother, being the hopeless woman in love she was, died a month later from an unknown heart condition. I have one friend and his name’s Dante. He’s higher up with Benito now because they were able to trace him back to Italy.”

“Trace?” I asked.

“Family stuff. Benito is just one member of the Corlandio family. They’re big and they go deep, sweetheart. That’s what I’m trying to explain to you. When Benito makes the call, it can’t be stopped…”

Noah turned his head and looked at the door. The anger washed over his face.

“Do you think it was Benito who attacked me?” I asked.

“I don’t know. I’m trying really hard to think of who else it would have been.”

“You know, I was the good girl, Noah.”

He looked at me. “You weren’t a
good girl
the night I met you.”

I blushed. “Yeah, well, that was a one time wild night.” I wiped the corners of my eyes. “I was going to med school, you know.”

“No shit.”

I nodded. “I worked hard in high school and college. I put myself through college. My father, Craig, was always in and out. My mother tried her best but she was strung out and hell bent on hurting herself. Her having cancer isn’t a shock, but it’s still sad. Especially when it all falls on me. Anyway, I was getting ready to start med school. A friend told me I needed to have some fun. That’s how I ended up at the fight. I convinced myself that one crazy night wouldn’t matter. I was wrong.”

“Hey,” Noah said. “It did matter. To me. To what’s sleeping in the next room.”

“I know. I don’t like talking about it because it makes me sound like I don’t love Jude. Or that I’m depressed because of him. It’s not that…”

“I would never judge you for anything you tell me, sweetheart. You have every right to be confused, to be angry. To regret everything. You deserve to feel how you want. I’m sure everyone feels that way sometimes. Not to mention I wasn’t there. I fucked up and I wasn’t there. You didn’t know why either. So spending all that time…”

Noah gritted his teeth. His eyes looked…

He looked like he was crying.

He lunged at me, wrapping those strong arms around me. He held me and I put my arms around him. I was pretty sure I was holding him more than he was holding me. There was nothing to say to how both of us felt. I wasn’t going to shy away from my anger and confusion, no matter how upset he was.

“It was a long time,” I whispered. “I went all out that night with you, Noah. Somewhere in my mind I had this fantasy of you finding me after the fight. Of something happening. Hell, I would have just taken getting home safe and sound, without anything else. Whoops.”

Noah backed away but didn’t go far. “What else? I told you, I want to know everything.”

“Pretty simple, really. I started to feel like crap. I would throw up every morning three times. Like clockwork. Then I’d feel great. I was getting ready to pack up and leave. I looked at the calendar and realized I had missed my period. It had been so stressful with things I thought I threw my body off. Is this gross to hear?”

“No. Not at all. It’s… it’s kind of beautiful. Your body doing all that to create my son.”

I smiled. Noah was sweet in such a rough way. “Just don’t forget, Noah, you put him there.”

“I’d do it all over again if it means me getting you.”

“I was on my way to work one morning. I got really sick. I had to stop at a gas station to throw up. When I threw up, I felt fine then. It was really weird. I was going to see a doctor about my stomach. The med student and wannabe doctor inside me didn’t want to think about pregnancy. How could I be pregnant? You need to have unprotected… oh, right.” I laughed and sucked in a breath. “So I bought a test right there at the gas station. I pissed on it in the bathroom. Two lines came up.”

“Holy shit,” Noah said.

“I wanted to hide it all. I cried every night. I took ten more before finally admitting it. Then I got really mad. Because I let myself slip up. I never saw you again. The second my friends found out, I was sort of cast away.”

“Why?”

“Can’t really go out and enjoy the young life when you’re pregnant. Places that allow smoking. Staying out late. Drinking. All that stuff. Gone. Plus, I just hid. Because it was… it was embarrassing for me. I was the good girl. I told everyone it was a one night fling and I didn’t know who the father was. In my mind it made it seem less whorish, but that was a mistake. People talked about me. My mother hated me. She hated me until she got sick. Then she started to poke around. She told me she had money and would help. Basically, she was looking for a caretaker.”

Noah pulled me in again and hugged me. “You’re the strongest woman I’ve ever met, Ashlynn. For everything you just said. You were a great mother from day one.”

“Yeah, right,” I said. “Hovering over a toilet in a gas station, crying my eyes out. Then stepping on the pregnancy test, wanting to end it.”

“That’s okay. That’s okay.”

“That’s the story,” I said. “I could tell you every detail, but you want to know about my father. I don’t know much. He was always gambling and always in trouble. Now he owes your boss money.”

“A lot of money,” Noah said. “Six figures money.”

“Oh my God,” I said.

“Why would he use this address?”

“I don’t know,” I said. “I didn’t know he knew where I lived.”

“Sweetheart, don’t take this the wrong way,” Noah said, “but what about your mother? Would she keep in touch with him?”

“Maybe. Probably not though.”

“Maybe she contacted him about you being pregnant. To try and settle him.”

“What? He couldn’t be a father, but he’d magically be a grandfather?”

“You never know,” Noah said. “I watched my mother go to her grave to be with my father. Love is a fucking beast.”

No, Noah, you’re a fucking beast.

“Yeah,” I whispered.

“You said your mother had money,” Noah said. “Maybe that’s why Craig used this address. To divert people to come after you and your mother. Those guys that came in, they went right to her room, right?”

“Yeah, but that’s dumb.”

“Why?”

“My mother has cancer. She doesn’t have a lot of money anymore. If you knew how much the treatments and doctors…”

“Craig doesn’t know that. Benito doesn’t know that. Holy shit, sweetheart, that’s why they’re coming here for you and her. I hate to say this, but we need to talk to your mother. Find out if your father has been in contact with her. Find out if she knows where he is.”

“She’s in the hospital. I don’t even know if she’s awake yet. Jesus, I haven’t even checked on her today.”

Guilt flooded me.

“No, you don’t get to do that to yourself,” Noah said. “You don’t get to feel guilty right now. Feel anything but guilt. I’m going to protect you, Ashlynn. I’m going to take care of my son. I have a fight coming up. I’m going to be able to earn more. Benito owes me from my time in jail. I will take care of you.”

“For how long? How long can you fight?”

“Don’t worry about that. You’ve done enough worrying for a year. Take a break. Do something for yourself.”

“You know what I really want right now?”

“Name it.”

My heart raced. It was kind of dumb, but there was a hopeless flicker of romance as I stared at Noah.

“I want you to sleep next to me. To hold me. So I could…”

“Done,” Noah said. “I’ll hold you, sweetheart. I’ll touch every part of your body. From the beauty to the scars. It’s all amazing to me.”

“Noah, do you hurt?”

“Every day of my life.”

“Me too,” I whispered.

We gently kissed.
I never knew pain could taste so fucking good.

32.

(Noah)

She was definitely a mother. We stopped kissing and she tried to clean up the leftovers. I told her no. Just to leave it. Who the hell cared if a couple bottles of beer stayed on the floor overnight? She then had to check on Jude. I couldn’t argue her out of that.

She was a great mother.

I climbed into bed and did the one thing I told Ashlynn not to do.

I felt guilty as shit.

It was almost funny because I tried to do what she wanted. I had planned on finding her after the fight. My motivation that night was at an all time high. Destroy the guy trying to destroy me and then get Ashlynn and show her the rest of a wild night. Hell, who knew where that could have ended up
…

The second the guns started going off I knew I needed to get to the back of the building. Sneak out and look for a ride. If not, just fucking run and let Benito take care of things. Instead, I went for the back wall and went for where I had left Ashlynn.

“Okay, sorry.”

Ashlynn shut the door behind her.

“How’s the kid?”

“Sleeping.”

“Do you have a baby monitor?”

Ashlynn smirked. She opened the top drawer of her nightstand and took it out. “Yeah. I was embarrassed…”

“Of what?”

“This mom thing. And being with a guy.”

I grabbed Ashlynn’s wrist and pulled her to the bed. I slid my left hand around her belly and sat up, keeping her tight to my body. “Listen to me. I’m not some fucking guy. You have no reason to ever be embarrassed around me.”

I reached out and turned on the baby monitor. It was a steady stream of low static. I pulled at Ashlynn, bringing her more onto the bed. My hands slid down to the bottom of her shirt.

“How do you like to sleep?” I asked.

I lifted her shirt up and over her head. My intentions were nothing but wanting to make Ashlynn feel comfortable and beautiful.

I tossed her shirt aside and went for her bra. She let it fall down her arms and shook it away. I touched her shoulders and then pulled at her again.

“Your shirt,” she whispered.

“Got it.”

I took my shirt off.

We then laid down together, her back to my front.

I caressed her shoulder and arm. When I got to her wrist, I couldn’t find her fingers.
Why?
They were inside her pants. I didn’t say a word though. I inched away and looked under the covers. Ashlynn slowly slipped out of the rest of her clothes.

She wanted to sleep next to me naked.

I took a deep breath and watched as her hand rested on her hip. I kissed the back of her shoulder and then put my lips to her ear.

“I’ll never stop forgiving what I missed, sweetheart. But I’m never going anywhere ever again. I promise.”

“You can’t keep that promise,” she said. “We both know that, Noah. Your life is crazy…”

“Crazy is okay though,” I whispered.

I slowly put my hand to hers. I interlocked our fingers and squeezed. She squeezed back. She then moved her hand down. Together our fingers touched her smooth skin. As she parted her legs, I felt the silky heat of her body.

“Please,” she whispered with a beg. “Please… I want…”

“Shhh,” I said. “Relax.”

I curled her finger with mine, brushing against the soft folds of her pussy. I pressed harder, feeling her sweetness give way. Both of our fingers penetrated her, leaving my cock instantly and painfully hard. I slid our fingers up and rested them against her clit.

“Did you think of me?” I whispered in her ear. “When you did this?”

“I never did that,” Ashlynn said. “It was you… and then you a year later.”

“That was it? Nobody touched you?”

“Unless you count doctors.”

“Male or female?”

“Shut up.”

I laughed and slid my hand down again. Two fingers touched her throbbing hole. She was ripe, like a precious piece of fruit. I pressed, entering her, feeling her hips jump to my touch. Her hand left her body and grabbed at me. Her hand squeezed my cock through my jeans.

“I thought you wanted me to sleep next to you,” I whispered.

“You will,” she said. “After you fuck me.”

Good Christ…

Hearing those words from Ashlynn was the sexiest thing ever. Trust me, I’d had other women say much crazier and dirtier things to me, but it was Ashlynn. The mother of my son. A woman who endured so much. Not to mention… nobody had touched her since me. I had made my claim on her and I left it that way.

My fingers dug inside her, twisting, turning, sliding out. I felt her oozing, so ready for so much more. I grabbed her waist and turned her body, face down. Her plump ass was comfort for my right hand as my left hand fought to open the zipper of my jeans. I tore my dick from my jeans and stroked myself once. I was full and ready.

Ashlynn lifted her hands and grabbed the pillows on the bed. She turned her head, already breathing heavy.

“Yes,” she groaned. “Yes, Noah, please, yes.”

Her legs were spread, her body flat on the bed.

My hand slid down her ass, squeezing and moving her. I spread her open, staring down at the beautiful, tender folds of her sex. My thumb teased, played, as I lowered my body down to hers. The front of my legs touched the back of her legs as I entered her. She was still so wonderfully tight but quickly forgiving, welcoming me inside. I put my hands to the bed and thrust at her.

“Yes!” she cried. “Yes!”

I pulled back and thrust again, harder.

“Fuck,” she moaned. “Again, Noah. Fuck.”