Hurt: A Bad Boy MMA Romantic Suspense Novel (9 page)

“You put him there,” I said and laughed.

Noah looked at me. “Yeah, I kind of did.”

Jude twisted his head to look at me.

“Hey, baby,” I said. “It’s okay. You’re with… you’re with
Daddy
.”

Daddy.

Noah swallowed and it looked like a bowling ball had gone down his throat.

Was he going to cry?

Jude grabbed at Noah and let out a whine.

“Oh, damn,” Noah said. “He’s squirming. He must not like the old man yet.”

“No,” I said. “He’s hungry.”

“I’m getting bailed on for a nice set of tits?”

I blushed.
Nice set of tits. Thanks.
I nodded. “Yeah, you are.”

“He must definitely be my son then,” Noah said with a grin. “Can I help with anything?”

Now the moment went from sweet family time to a little awkward. The whole breastfeeding thing wasn’t as glorious or some kind of fantasy thing at all. Yeah, my boobs were big and full, but it was for a specific reason. Not suggesting that Noah couldn’t enjoy them either… it was just…

“I’m okay,” I said. “Thank you.”

Jude squirmed again and let out a yell.

“Damn,” Noah said. “He really wants them. So all I have to do is kick and scream, huh?”

“That’s the secret,” I said.

“Good to know.”

I took Jude from Noah. The baby was already grabbing at my shirt. He knew what he wanted and he had no concept of time or waiting so me and his father could have a moment.

Noah rubbed his jaw. “Do you mind if I grab a shower? I have a change of clothes with me. I’ve had a long day. You still didn’t hear about the black van. The men. The attack. The guns.”

I clutched Jude tighter. “What?”

Noah grinned. He leaned in and kissed Jude’s head. “No worries. I survived. I always do.”

Noah then kissed me. A quick little peck, but enough to steal my breath.

I watched him leave the bedroom and then I sat down in the large rocking chair. I stared at the door as I offered my breast to Jude. It had all become second nature to me. It was a beautiful moment to share with my son, but it wasn’t always the easiest. My breasts were tender, achy, and not all that pleasant, to be honest. Sometimes it hurt when Jude fed. Somewhere in the back of my mind I feared when the baby would start teething.

The shower turned on, the sound muffled by the wall between the bedroom and the bathroom.

A calming feeling washed over me.

I was breastfeeding the baby and Noah was in the shower, washing away a busy day. It was almost normal. It was almost like being a family.

Then again, people wanted Noah dead… and people wanted me dead… how romantic.

~ ~ ~

The baby fell asleep with ease. In fact, he fell asleep while still nursing. I was able to gently take him away from me, tuck my breast away, and put him in his crib all without him making a sound or a stir. I considered it to be one of my most special talents.

When I exited the bedroom, I bit my bottom lip and looked to the bathroom. The door wasn’t completely shut. All I needed to do was push it open. Walk in there. Tear open the shower curtain and see what I had been missing for a year. That body. That man. That protector.

But I didn't need that right now. Both of us didn’t need that. Going down that road again was going to hurt us. All of us. Everything I did in my life I had to consider Jude. In fact, Jude was first on the list. My plan was simple and tragic. When my mother passed, I was going to take what was left of her estate and move. Find a small town where I could settle. Find a job, a babysitter, and just find a way to live.

I looked at the bathroom again.

Noah was already fucking that plan up.

I went into my bedroom and walked to the dresser. My chest was so uncomfortable. It wasn’t because of Noah either. As much as I wanted him to be the cause of all my aches and needs, that wasn’t completely true.

I took off my shirt and bra and stared at my heavy breasts in the mirror. My nipples were red and sore. I had a special lotion that always helped. I leaned forward and grabbed the container. I twisted the cap off and was about to stick my fingers into it when I heard someone clear their throat.

I yelled, jumped, and put my right hand across my chest.

Noah stood in the doorway to the bedroom, wearing jeans and nothing else. His dark hair glistened from being damp. He was cleaned up but still had a rough look to him. Shirtless was totally unfair. Lines of muscle crossed other lines of muscle. His body was like a wild maze, made not only for the eyes, but for the tongue
…

“Sorry,” he said. “I didn’t see… much…”

“I’m not used to having someone here,” I said. “I’m embarrassed.”

“Why?”

“It’s… weird.”

“What is? Me being here?”

“Noah, I have to put cream on my… chest.”

“Oh.”

“Because of breastfeeding. Okay?”

“Okay,” Noah said. “I just wanted to know where the hamper was. So I could put my towel there. That’s all. And I didn’t hear the kid making noise.”

“He’s napping.”

Noah stepped into the room. “Okay. Hey, you have nothing to be ashamed about, sweetheart. Whatever you’re going through, it’s special. It’s important. You’re giving my son everything he needs.”

Noah was just inches from me. His perfect cut chest was close to touching my right shoulder. I looked in the mirror at our reflection. He was tall, strong, a wild man. I was just a regular woman. I had curves. I had the last little bit of the baby weight. My boobs were used and abused. I was tired. Nothing about me was…

“Beautiful,” his voice whispered. “You’re really beautiful, Ashlynn.”

I looked at Noah. I had no idea why but I trusted him.
With everything.

I stood there and waited. I wanted this moment. I wanted
him
.

Noah reached for my arm. His strong fingers slid around my forearm and he gently pulled. I let my arm move, exposing my bare breasts to him. Noah put my arm to my side. Everything was slow and erotic. He looked at me and then he looked to the mirror, at the reflection of us. I saw myself in the mirror, again. My face apple red. My body damn near shivering.

He placed his hand to my belly. Slowly, he crept up. The silence was hotter than anything he could have said to me. Words were cheap when a man like Noah was touching you. I could feel the power and the danger surging through me. The crazy part was that the look in his eyes told me he knew exactly what he was doing to me. I couldn’t hide it if I wanted to try.

His right hand moved over my breast. I sucked in a breath, torn between a little discomfort and a lot of pleasure. I bit my lip and tried to suppress a groan. I didn’t want to appear more desperate than I already was.

Noah leaned down and kissed the top of my head. “Fuck, sweetheart. It’s all perfect. Does it hurt?”

“A little,” I whispered.

“Then let me help.”

He took his hand from my breast and stuck two fingers into the lotion. He brought his fingers to my tender nipple. My lips shuddered as he started to make circles with the comforting lotion. It was probably a little more than I needed, but I wasn’t going to say a damn thing about it. Noah then moved his fingers up and down, cutting over my nipple. It became wildly hard, sending pulses down through the rest of my body. I was a mess between my thighs in a matter of seconds.

“Good?” Noah asked.

“Yes.”

“The other?”

“Yes.”

Noah repeated the same thing. He touched my left nipple and applied the lotion. He tried to be gentle, but it just wasn’t his nature.

When done, Noah then brought his fingers up along the rest of my left breast. He came across my chest to the other breast. It felt so good. Someone touching me that had nothing to do with medical purposes.

I turned and faced Noah. My hands still at my sides. His hands moved from my breasts to my pants. I couldn’t take my eyes off of his as he stripped my pants and panties down to my knees. I kicked the rest of the way out of them, fully naked in front of him. I hadn’t been this naked the night we first met. But I was the mother of his child. Something about that made this seem so right. So comforting. I needed to feel protected and loved.

He touched my hips, sliding his hands up and down the curves of my body.

“Noah,” I whispered. “I’ve… for so long…”

“I know,” he said.

His lips then touched mine.
He was going to fuck me… and I needed it.

22.

(Noah)

I was losing my damn mind. She was beyond beautiful. She thought I was tough? She thought I was strong? Fuck that. I had muscle and fists. I could beat someone up. I could defend myself. But what Ashlynn did… what she could do… that was wild.

Yeah, I poked my head into the room and saw her unclip her bra. Yeah, I watched those full and amazing tits just hang there. Yeah, I watched as she opened the container of lotion. That’s when I cleared my throat. There was so much I hadn’t done and there was so much I still couldn’t do, but stuff like that, I’d help with all the damn time.

My cock was painfully hard as I applied the lotion to her nipples. I knew for her it was something far different than what it meant for me. That was okay. We all had different wants and needs in life.

I kissed her as my hands traced lines from her ass around to her smooth body. I cut my fingers between her legs and felt her ready for me. I plunged two fingers into her soft core, feeling her squeeze against my touch.

She quickly jumped to her toes and groaned, our lips barely touching.

Holy fuck…

Her hands touched my jeans.
Finally.
She opened the button and put both hands to the top of them and pushed. I had skipped putting on a pair of boxers, knowing damn well what I wanted from Ashlynn. I had been dreaming of fucking her from the moment we finished the first time.

Her hand wrapped around the root of my cock and pulled, freeing me. As she stroked up, my legs tightened. I was already looking to explode because of her. I looked down and watched my thick shaft resting in her small hand. I thrust forward and pressed the bottom of my shaft to her belly. Gently rocking left to right, my cock was between us.

I grabbed her face and stared down at her. “What about this time?”

“What about?”

“Are we protected, sweetheart?”

“Yes,” she said with a grin. “We’re protected, Noah.”

I then grabbed her ass and lifted her up. She let out a cry and threw her arms around my neck. I felt her warm breasts touch my chest. They were slippery from the lotion. Her face turned a deeper shade of red, again. It pissed me off because it proved that the time apart really hurt… because she wasn’t completely comfortable with me yet.

I placed her on the bed and climbed right on top of her. There were so many ways I wanted to fuck her. My mind spun, thinking of all the places I wanted to taste. My heart raced with all the wild shit running through my body.

I kept my body above hers. My left hand was on the bed. I eased myself down between her legs, watching her sweet folds welcome me. I placed my other hand to her stomach and then thrust forward, breaking her open.

It was just as good as the first time. She sheathed me with a warm tightness that made me hiss. I sank deep into her body and held there, staring down at her.

“Fuck,” she groaned. With a shaky hand, she touched my face.

“Fuck,” I whispered back to her.

I moved my hand up and cupped her breast. I squeezed and she cried out. I pulled myself back and out of her silk and thrust again. Her back arched as she reached for the sheets on the bed. She gripped them fiercely tight. I made fists and put them to the bed, keeping our bodies apart. I wanted to watch her. I wanted to see everything. Christ, I actually gave a damn about the woman I was fucking.

I started off easy with her, offering deep and thorough thrusts. I wanted my cock to memorize every inch of her body. I wanted to feel every pulse as she reacted to me being inside her. Somewhere in the recess of my body I reminded myself the last time I was inside her, I had placed my seed deep in her womb. An urge to do it again overcame me. I started to speed up. I fucked her hard, thrusting myself faster, wanting to be deeper. The bed shook, her breasts danced on her chest, her hands shook as she held on tight to the sheets. She then lifted her legs and locked her ankles around me, her heels pushing at my ass. I got up on my knees and grabbed her hips. I pulled at her as I thrust again.

Her hands finally released their hold on the sheets and set aim for my body. She scratched at my chest and then grabbed my arms, holding tight. She pulled herself up, looking at me with a look of desperation.

“Noah… I’m…”

I hurried forward to hold her. One hand to the back of her neck, the other down to her lower back. I let my body rest tight against hers and I kept fucking her, bringing her to the edge of climax and beyond. As she started to come, her body quivered with delight. She let out a gasping whimper, her lips touching my ear. I felt the breathing match with the way her sex pulsed against my cock. I didn’t have much time myself either, which was fine. I had been waiting for this moment for a year. A long goddamn year.

So I bucked my hips forward one last time and let go. Deep inside her body, releasing over and over, just like I’d done before. The difference this time?
I wasn’t creating a life… I was creating love…

23.

(Ashlynn)

Noah told me everything. About the van, the attack, and that the gun he had used to shoot that asshole at the restaurant was the gun he took from the guy that attacked him. Everything about him was fast, wild, and sexy. He held my naked body as though I was something precious and fragile. I never felt that way in my entire life.

There was so much to talk about between us, but then Noah said he had to go. I wanted to argue him leaving, beg him to stay, do
anything
to keep him preoccupied.

But the look in his eyes made me understand that there would never be a
normal
family life for us. That was, if Noah and I actually had something real. If he was going to really be a father to Jude. Showing up and holding Jude for ten minutes wasn’t being a father. It was special, but nothing more than that. Touching my breasts and rubbing lotion on them was a kind gesture, but that ended with him inside me, fucking me.