Hurt: A Bad Boy MMA Romantic Suspense Novel (18 page)

“She told you where he is, didn’t she?”

“Yeah.”

“You know we have to take that to Benito.”

“I know. But I don’t know the actual location.”

“Does it bother you? What Benito has to do…”

“No,” I said. “I’ll never understand the way my mother feels about him, for everything he’s done to us. But I can’t control it. If I have to choose between my family now and someone who was supposed to be family, the choice is easy. I didn’t do anything wrong in this, Noah.”

“No, you didn’t. And you’re not going to lose your family. You’ll always have Jude.”

“And you,” I said. “You’re my family too, Noah.”

“Goddamn, I love to hear that.”

Noah’s lips brushed mine.

“Hey, wait,” I said. “I really do have something for you. It’s a secret.”

“A secret?” Noah asked.

I took him into my bedroom. I went for the closet and opened it. There was a pile of old clothes on the floor. I dug through them and found a thick envelope. It was sealed and unmarked. It was also full.

I turned and held it, biting my lip. “This. This is for you.”

“What the hell is it?”

“Everything you missed.”

40.

(Noah)

I sat down on the bed and opened the envelope. The thing was thick. I stuck my hand in and pulled out… a stack of pictures.

The top picture was a pregnancy test.

“That’s not the first one,” Ashlynn said. “The first one I destroyed. I was so angry and embarrassed. So I took a few more and finally took a picture of one.”

I ran my finger along the two pink lines. I flipped and the next picture was an ultrasound. It was like a scrambled TV with a black dot in the middle.

“That’s Jude?” I asked.

“Yeah.”

The next one was of Ashlynn in her bra and panties. Her belly flat. Her breasts smaller than they were now. Her
pre-baby
body, which compared nothing to how she looked now. Yeah, she was stunning a year ago, I wouldn’t lie about that, but
post-baby
gave her something so beautiful.

I started to flip through the pictures and saw what she had done for me. Every week, she took a picture of herself. Every doctor’s appointment there was a copy of the ultrasound. As the little dot grew bigger and started to take the form of a human, Ashlynn’s body started to transform. First, her lower belly started to push out. Then it got bigger and much rounder. She filled out everywhere then. Her breasts got heavier, pouring out of her bra. Her hips, legs, arms, and even her face.

“Jesus,” I whispered. “This is the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen.”

“Wait until you get to the last one,” she said.

I found the last one and it was perfect. Ashlynn stood in a bra and panties again. Her breasts were super full, resting on her large belly. Her stomach jutted out and around, such an amazing shape to see. Her hand rested at the center of her belly. Her face was puffy and she looked absolutely miserable.

“By then, I was done,” Ashlynn said. “I just wanted the baby out. I couldn’t get comfortable. Walking, sleeping. If I bent over, I’d pee myself.”

Then I flipped to the next picture.

It was the hospital picture of Ashlynn and Jude. The first picture of them together. Ashlynn’s face looked tired but in shock. Her eyes glistened. Strands of hair stuck to her forehead from sweating. Baby Jude wrapped up tight, his face small and pale. His lips were a wild shade of red.

“Oh… man…”

I put the pictures down and stood up. I cleared my throat to collect myself. I went right to Ashlynn and scooped her up.

“Thank you,” I whispered. “For all of this.”

“I had hope,” she said. “I never gave up hope. I took those pictures and I hid them. It scares me, Noah, that you were in jail. But to a point, it makes me a little relieved that you didn’t just leave and avoid me.”

“I would never do that,” I said. “I swear to you, Ashlynn. I thought about you every day. I thought about that night. I scrambled to find you and got popped. I played it over and over. What if I just went the right way… I could have gotten out of there and then found you.”

“You’re here now,” she said. “Just be here, Noah. Please be here.”

I looked back at the bed. The pictures were all scattered. The entire pregnancy right there for me to see. To have. To hold. But I’d never actually live in those moments. I never got to touch Ashlynn’s stomach, feeling it growing. I never got to take her emotions - her worry, doubt, fear, happiness - and hold it.

My hands touched the bottom of her shirt. I looked at her and she nodded.

“Make love to me, Noah. I’m in love with you.”

“Fuck, sweetheart, I needed to hear that,” I said. “I love you too. All of this. I love it all. We’re going to keep it all, too. Our family is going to be together. I swear.”

“I believe you,” Ashlynn said.

I then gently undressed her. Piece by piece, I took her clothes off. I dropped down to one knee and slid her panties down her legs. She stepped out of her panties and the sweet scent of her body attacked me. My hands eased up her legs and gripped her waist. I pulled her forward and kissed her sex, her soft and smooth mound, down to her tender folds. I collected her wetness to my tongue, never forgetting the taste of her.

I kissed up her stomach to her chest. My hands moved around and I unclipped her bra.

Ashlynn clawed at my still damp shirt and pulled at it. I stepped back and did all the work myself. This was about her right now. She had done so much for me. So much that I could never make up to her. She carried my son in her body for nine months. That meant taking care of herself and another living human at the same time.

The least I could do was undress myself and let her watch.

I stripped off my boxers, my dick popping free, already thick and throbbing. I curled my fingers around the root of my shaft and squeezed.

“This is what you to do me,” I said. “Know that. You did it to me then. You’re doing it to me right now. And you’ll always do it to me. I can’t control my cock when I’m near you.”

I closed in on her and I released the grip on myself as I touched her left breast. My dick rested between our bodies. I ran my hand up and down against her breast, feeling her nipple harden. I pinched my fingers together and tugged, making her suck in a shaky breath.

“Noah… I might…”

I did it again. There was then a small sampling of liquid. It drove me fucking nuts to see.

I saw the look on her face, that she was self-conscious about her body reacting to my touch like that, so I cupped her breast again. I kissed her, just standing there like we had all the fucking time in the world together. My hands ended up at her waist again. I lifted her up and walked her to the bed. I gently placed her down, pulling at her lower half, keeping it a little higher off the bed. I was lined up right to her. We stared at each other again. The intensity was more than I’d ever felt in my life. I was more nervous in that moment than any fight ever. It was the truest feeling in the world - it was love. It was me completely falling for her.

I eased forward and thrust, entering her body. Her body welcomed me and I kept going slow, inch by inch. Once I was as deep as I could go, I thrust at her with a groan. Her body jumped and she whimpered. She reached back, her hand spreading across all the pictures on the bed. I looked at the pictures, seeing the ones of Ashlynn with her full, pregnant belly. I gritted my teeth. I was so pissed at myself for not seeing it all.

I pulled back and thrust again.

I took my time. I moved slow, deep, and thorough. I felt every inch of her body and watched every look in her eyes… every time she bit her lip or sighed or winced with intense pleasure. My hands scaled up and down, memorizing every curve, every mark.

I finally just kissed her, our lips and tongues meeting together.

And I kept going. My body in control, her body commanding it all.

For the first time in my wild life… I made love to the woman I loved…

~ ~ ~

I heard a tapping sound.

My first instinct was to go for my gun. I reached down and found my dick, but no gun.

Shit, I was still naked.

It was almost five in the morning.

Ashlynn was rolled up next to me.

I got out of the bed and hurried to put my jeans on. I then grabbed my gun and opened the door.

“Noah?”

I looked back and Ashlynn was sitting up.

“Hey,” I said. “I heard a noise. I’ll be right back.”

That sprung Ashlynn into action. There was no use in telling her to stay put. She would need to check on Jude. She was a great mother and I would never get in the way of that.

I opened the door to Jude’s room and looked into the crib. The baby was fast asleep.

Ashlynn was then right behind me.

“What did you…”

The sound came again.

From the front door.

“Shit,” I said. “Someone’s here. Get the baby…”

“No,” Ashlynn said. “I’m coming with you to see.”

“Why are you so stubborn?”

“Because it’s my life too.”

I went to the door and asked, “Who the hell is it?”

“It’s Detective Williams. I know you have a baby in there so I don’t want to pound on the door and make noise. Open the hell up, Noah.”

I handed Ashlynn the gun and she stuck it into her robe.

I opened the door and nodded to the detective. “Good morning…”

“Yeah, right,” he said. “I’ve been up all fucking night. We have to talk.”

“Am I in trouble?”

“No,” Detective Williams. Then he pointed to Ashlynn.
“But she is.”

41.

(Ashlynn)

“What the hell did I do?” I asked.

“Do you have any coffee?” Detective Williams asked.

“No,” Noah said. He put a hand out to stop me from going toward the kitchen. “We’re trying to sleep. We have a baby that’s due for a feeding soon. What do you want?”

“Fair enough.”

“Is Benito okay?” Noah asked.

“He’s fine,” Detective Williams said. “It’s about your old stomping grounds.”

“Mine?” I asked.

“His,” Detective Williams asked.

“Just get to your point,” Noah said.

“Your cellmate in jail.”

“Bo?”

“Yeah. He’s dead.”

I looked at Noah and watched his face drop. He made a fist and raised it up. “Say that again?”

“He’s dead,” Detective Williams said. “He was murdered. I’m sorry, Noah. I understood you two were close. He offered protection.”

“That doesn’t make sense,” Noah said. “Benito was protecting him. He told me that. He was going to have a good rest of his life there. No games. No bullshit. How…”

“Why were you called?” I asked. “Is it that big of a shock?”

“Well, with my connections,” Detective Williams said with a grin. “If something seems important I check it out. It seemed a little off that your guy would get whacked on the inside. And, yes, Benito was offering protection. So that’s another reason I had to go check it out.”

“How?” Noah asked.

“No,” I said. “Don’t ask that.”

“Tell me how,” Noah said.

I grabbed for Noah’s hand.

“Shower,” Detective Williams said. “Someone got ahold of him and slit his throat.”

“In the shower,” Noah whispered. “Fuck. Where were the guards?”

I saw the look on Detective Williams’ face. “Noah, this was well designed. It wasn’t a homemade weapon that was used to kill Bo. My guess is that it was a guard. Now you know how this shit works. Everyone has their crew, gang, family, whatever. It’s not as simple as just going after someone. I’m sorry about that.”

“Why?” Noah asked. “Was it because of me? Because he ran protection for me?”

“That was the logical belief, right? Retaliation. But it wasn’t about Benito. It was about Ashlynn.”

“Ashlynn?” Noah asked. “Why?”

Detective Williams looked at me. “Do you know who Ellis is?”

I thought for a split second I could hold it all together. I could fake it. I could get the detective out of the apartment and then lose my shit.

But I couldn’t.

I squeezed Noah’s hand tighter and looked at him. Then the room started to spin.

“Noah… help…”

~ ~ ~

When I came to, I was back in bed. I looked down and saw my robe. I saw Noah at the edge of the bed, in nothing but jeans. I wanted it all to be a dream. A really bad dream. A horrible dream.

“Where did…”

“He left,” Noah said. “You passing out made it pretty clear. There’s a connection.”

“I don’t get it,” I whispered. “I…”

Noah looked at me. He looked pissed. Really pissed. “Who is Ellis?”

“Noah, I’m so sorry about your friend. I can’t…”

“Just answer my fucking question.”

I sighed. I started to shake again. “Ellis… was a thing.”

“A thing?”

“A thing, Noah.”

“Like what? You fucked him? A boyfriend? An ex-husband. Jesus Christ, Ashlynn, don’t be like this.”

“He came into Ricky’s a lot. For me. Okay? I started working at Ricky’s before I met you. It was easy money and I was good at it. There was something… I don’t know, I thought I’d get older and become a doctor and be able to tell people I worked at a strip club to put myself through med school. Like the American dream.”

“Did you strip?”

“No… I mean, not for… not on stage.”

“But for Ellis?”

“He was wealthy. He’d come in and order tons of drinks. He’d give me a lot of money. Eventually he wanted more. So I went into a room with him. He asked me to show him my chest. And I did.”

“And that was it?”

I swallowed hard. My throat tightened. “Not really.”

“Fuck,” Noah said. “I’m going to stand up, sweetheart. If you hesitate anymore, I’m going to take my son and go somewhere.”

“Don’t you dare,” I said. “Don’t you dare threaten me with my son.”

“Try me,” Noah growled.

“Fine. He kept coming in and wanted more. I always told him no. I told him I wasn’t that kind of person. He then made some comment a few times that if his money wasn’t strong enough, his hands were. Almost like an idle threat. I talked to Ricky and he took care of it. Then I met you, Noah. That night. I went to that fight because I had a plan. I wanted one last crazy night and then I was done with everything. Plus, I heard from a friend that Ellis might be following me. I felt safe at the fight. Near you. Near the other people. When bullets starting flying, I thought Ellis was there to kill me. Stupid, I know. I started to hide. Then I found out I was pregnant. I talked to Ricky about everything and he said to come back to work. I did. A few weeks later, Ellis showed up. He demanded me in the back room by himself. So I went. I explained what had happened and that I was pregnant and he didn’t need me.”