Hurts So Good (2 page)

“I’m good, Mack.” He stared into her eyes for just a second, and then pulled almost all the way out of her. “Just get it done and over with.” He nodded, and without waiting pushed all the way through her virginity until he was completely buried inside of her and his balls were flush with her ass. A shocked gasp left her, and he quickly kissed the sound away. Not moving, and just allowing her time to adjust to his size, he continued to move his mouth against hers, and pressed his tongue to hers in slow sweeps and with gentle pressure.

“Are you okay?” He refused to move away from her mouth, and when she finally nodded he closed his eyes and allowed himself to really feel her. Never had he felt anything like this, and he knew it wasn’t just because she was the tightest and hottest fucking thing he had ever had. He loved this girl, more than anything in the world, and he knew that was why this experience was so different from any other time before. He started moving in and out of her very slowly, allowing her time to get used to the feel of him, and only when he saw the way her breathing changed, and the fact she had a look of glazed over pleasure across her face, did he go faster. A look down at her chest showed her breasts moving back and forth from his thrusting motion. The mounds were big and more than a handful, and perfect in every damn way.

“It feels so good, Mack.” Her words were slightly out of breath, and she kept clenching and unclenching her fingers along his forearms.

“Yeah, baby, it does.” He clenched his ass as he thrust deep inside of her. “
Christ
, Jane. You’ll never know how fucking
good
you feel.” He was going to come, and really hard, but not before she did one more time. He leaned back, and adjusted her so her lower half was raised and he could see himself moving in and out of her. The sight of the thick length of him stretching her wide as he pushed forward, of her pink, glistening flesh sucking at him as if there was no other option had his balls drawing up tight. He placed his thumb on her clit and started rubbing the nub back and forth. A gasp left her as she came, and the sight of the pleasure washing over her face, and the sound of her ecstasy was one of the hottest things Mack had ever experienced. That was his breaking point, and he started pushing his hips forward and pulling them back, faster and harder until he was coming, too. Thrusting into her once, twice, and on the third deep thrust he stilled and came harder than he had ever come. It seemed to go on forever, and every muscle in his body was tense from the strain of pleasure. When he couldn’t come anymore he collapsed on top of her, but he was conscious enough to brace his weight on his forearms so he didn’t crush her. “Shit, baby.” Her mouth was by his ear, and he felt her smile against his neck.

“Yeah.
Shit.” He chuckled when she nipped his ear, and he rolled off of her. Before she could move he had his arm wrapped around her waist and tugged her to his body. They kissed for long, drugging moments. Their skin was damp from sweat, but it felt so damn good to have
her this
close, with nothing separating them.

“Did I hurt you too badly?” He ran his thumb along her delicately arched eyebrow.

“It hurt for only a minute, and then it was…” Her cheeks turned pink, and she averted her eyes. “It was something I’ll never forget.” She looked back at him and smiled almost shyly.

“Me either, Janie.”
He kissed her again. They lay there for several minutes, neither one speaking, and the only sound penetrating the stillness was that of the rain pelting against the windowpane.

“Is your mom doing okay with you leaving? I know she was having this empty nest thing going on.” She ran her hand over the line of his jaw. His parents were Russian immigrants, coming to America twenty years ago. His mom coddled him, even though he towered over her by nearly a foot and outweighed her by over fifty pounds of muscle. But she was a nurse, and had this caring nature about her that she projected onto everyone. She was having a harder time with him leaving for school than his dad, but then again once he was gone it would just be the two of them in the house.

“She keeps telling me she’ll drive over to campus and bring me
zharkoye
and
pastila
.” Jane laughed softly. Over the past year she had seen enough of his mother’s babying of him, and had been part of more Russian family dinners than he could count.

“Well, you’re her baby.”

He grunted and rolled onto his back, but adjusted her so he had his arm under her shoulders, and her body pressed to his side. She rested her head on his chest and ran her hand up and down his chest.

“The university is only an hour from Absinthe. Just make sure you come back home for frequent visits.” Mack couldn’t see Jane’s face, but he knew she was smiling as she said it.

“Yeah, well you know she is going to hound you to come by, too.” They both chuckled, and she turned and looked up at him. The happiness on her face was contagious, and he cupped her chin and captured her lips, but before he could go for round two the sound of someone pounding on the front door came through like a damn gun going off. Before he could even sit up there was more pounding.

“What the fuck?”

Jane climbed off the bed and grabbed her clothes. She was already putting them on before he even had his jeans in hand.

“It’s probably Markus or Finn being
drunk
assholes again.” Mack didn’t bother with a shirt, but made sure Jane was dressed before he opened his bedroom door and made his way to the front door. There was another round of knocks, and he gritted his teeth. If it was his two asshole friends he was going to beat their asses for interrupting his time with Jane. He gripped the handle, but looked over his shoulder before he opened it. Jane stayed in his doorway, her arms wrapped around her waist. All he could think about was taking her again, harder this time. Shit, now he was getting hard. She narrowed her eyes, and he grinned. Yeah, his girl knew him well enough to know that he had a filthy mind. He shook his head, faced forward again, and opened the door. But it wasn’t Markus and Finn on the other side, but two uniformed officers instead.

“Mack Draykovich?” They two men stood under the porch, and the rain fell heavily behind them. Water dripped off their hats and jackets, but it was the stern looks on their faces that held his attention. “Son, are you Mack Draykovich?” The cop with the bushy dark mustache addressed him.

“Yeah?”
They looked at each other, and a sick feeling formed in the pit of his stomach. The swaying of the thick tree branches in his front yard threatened to give out at any moment from the violent winds.

“Your parents were
Aleksander
and Mila?”

His throat closed. They had phrased that in past tense. He shook his head but answered.
“Yeah.”

“I’m sorry to tell you this, but they were involved in a motor vehicle accident off of Interstate Seventy-six. The road conditions from the inclement weather caused your father, who was driving, to lose control and hydroplane.” Mack saw the officer’s mouth moving, but he had since lost his hearing. All that he now heard was the thundering of his heart in his ears, and the suffocating feeling of his throat closing in. “Son, are you still with us?” The other officer with graying hair and thick sideburns leaned closer and knitted his brows in worry.

“Mack.
Oh, God.”
Through his frantic pulse he heard Jane and the sorrow-filled emotion that laced her voice. She touched his arm, but he shook her off. He couldn’t be touched right now. The cops had to be wrong, because his parents couldn’t be gone. The room spun, or maybe it was his mind that had checked out? Either way he couldn’t stand any longer, and so he let gravity take him to the ground as his knees buckled. He didn’t feel the pain of hitting the tiled entryway, and didn’t comprehend anything aside from hearing the police officer’s words playing over and over in his head.

His parents dead from a car accident.
His parents dead from a car accident.
His parents dead from a car accident.

The cops were in the house now, coming closer with their hands out in a nonthreatening way, as if they wanted to comfort him. Jane stood to the side, her tears fat and heavy and falling down her cheeks as strongly as the rain fell from the sky. He looked between them, felt bile rise in his throat as grisly images slammed into his head on a continuous reel. The pain was too much, so consuming that he couldn’t contain it any longer. For the first time in his life, Mack cried, and he didn’t care how hard the sobs tore from him, or who saw him break.

****

It had been nearly four weeks since his parents had been gone, and only three hours since he had started drinking for the day. It wasn’t even two in the afternoon. Nothing mattered anymore, and he found himself slowly sinking further into his own personal hell, but he liked it, liked the pain it caused because it was what he needed to forget about everything else. He sat in the living room of his house, looking around at the family portraits that lined the wall all around him. He brought the bottle of Jack to his mouth, took a long fucking swig, and set it back on his thigh. It was nearly gone, and the burn of the whiskey had long since left him. Now the only thing that was in its place was a blissful numbness. He had shut everyone out, forced himself into solitude, but right now he wasn’t good company for anyone. He hadn’t answered his phone, and the ones that had come over to check up on him had a firsthand experience of his downfall. He pushed them away slowly until they just didn’t come by anymore, and that was fine by him.

There was a soft knock on the door, but instead of getting up he brought the bottle to his mouth and finished it off. He was drunker than hell, but he wasn’t nearly done. Getting another bottle of liquor would have required him to get up, and right now he didn’t think he couldn’t stand upright. So, instead he reached in his pocket, took out the joint, and picked up the lighter from the coffee table. There was another knock on the door, and then he heard it open and close.

“Mack?” Jane’s soft voice came through the fog that was his brain. Fuck, she was the last person he wanted to see right now. She had been the most adamant in sticking by him and trying to pull him out of this black hole he was slowly sinking into. He loved her, but he just couldn’t bring himself to get better right now, not even when she pleaded with him to do just that.

He put the joint between his lips and lit the end with the lighter. The tip
glowed
a vibrant red as he inhaled deeply, and then he held the sweet smoke in his lungs. Jane called out again, and then she was moving around the couch and standing in front of him. She knitted her brows, and a look of worry crossed her face.

“Not now, Jane,” Mack said as he exhaled. Smoke billowed around him, and she waved her hand in front of her.

 
“So now you’ve resorted to getting high as well as staying drunk all day long?” He didn’t respond, just inhaled again, held the smoke in, and slowly blew it out. “Mack, I know you’re hurting.” His anger that had been buried with booze and weed rose up violently, and he ground his teeth.

“You don’t fucking know how I feel, Jane.” He lowered his voice and forced himself to stay calm. This was his girl, his Janie, even if he was a motherfucker right now and keeping her at a distance. He just couldn’t deal with anyone right now. Right now he was not in a good place, and he was feeling really dangerous. He didn’t want to say something that he would regret, but if she stayed here any longer he knew that was where things would be headed. “Jane, please just go.” This was an ongoing conversation with her, because she was relentless in trying to reach him. He looked away and felt the effects of the weed moving through him, numbing him even further until nothing mattered.

“Mack, please, just
talk
to me. That’s all I want.” She sat on the edge of the coffee table, and their knees touched. “It has been nearly a month since they passed away, and every day I see you falling further into this ugliness. You won’t talk to anyone, won’t let anyone in or help you. I worry about you constantly until I feel sick with it.” She reached out, but he snatched his hand back. “It is going to eat you alive until there is nothing left.” Mack forced himself to stay on the couch, even though he didn’t want to be around her right now, and certainly not with how fucked up he was. “You’ve isolated yourself and pushed everyone away, me included. I love you so much, and I just want to help you through this.” She reached out and placed her hand on his thigh. “There is nothing I can say that can take your pain away, but all I can do is
be
there for you and help you get through this.” She stared into his eyes, and he felt this ugly wall he built around himself shake. “I know this isn’t really you. For the past year I have known you as a caring and gentle guy, the one I love more than anything else, and the one I want to spend the rest of my life with. You thought of others, didn’t let anything drag you down, and were so damn protective.” She curled her fingers into his thigh, and he watched as tears formed in her bright blue eyes. “I’m looking at a stranger right now, one that is drunk all day, and who I now see is resorting to drugs to get through his pain.” She started rubbing her hand up and down his thigh, and her fucking sympathy was his undoing. He inhaled from the joint again, and after he blew the smoke out he stood.