I Grew My Boobs in China (5 page)

“But you’ll have to make sure it’s a pretty thin coffin so it’s easy to get out of.”

“Oh, yah. For sure! That’s important, so I’ll tell them I want a soft pine one.”

“So you’ve got your knife and an oxygen tank, and I’ll put in a flashlight, too, so you can see what you’re doing.”

“Can you do that for me, Mom?” he said, back on a more serious note now.

“I’ll absolutely put it in there. I promise. If you want it, I will put it in,” she vowed, fully intending to follow through with that if the time came. With one problem solved and out of the way, they continued to fill out the form.

“Well, I put you in as my beneficiary for the insurance. It’s doubled if I get killed in combat,” he informed her.

“Thanks, but I’ll take you instead,” she said unhesitatingly.

“And I need a number for someone if anything goes wrong. I already have Aunt Pam and Grandma on here, but what about you? How am I going to reach you if you’re all out travelling?”

“I’m going to take a phone with me for emergencies and for if you need to call me,” she said. She was not entirely sure how she would manage it, but she had every intention of figuring out the billing, SIM cards, and reception abroad so she would be available to him if he needed comfort through the hard times coming.

“Oh, that’s good. I’m really glad,” Sky said. “And for songs, I like this one. Do you know it, Mom? It’s by Maria Carey and Boys II Men, “One Sweet Day.” Do you think you could play it?” he asked. Mom quickly found it, and they sat together listening to the lyrics over the phone – “Shining down on me from heaven like so many friends we’ve lost along the way.”

Her eyes closed as a single tear trickled down her cheek. At the same time, she strongly felt the song would not be necessary – that he was going to come back. In one piece or not, he would return home to her and the family. She would take him up in her arms as she so often had when he was small and helpless. He was still her baby, a part of her being.

“Don’t you worry. We are
not
going to need this song,” she said firmly.

“I really hope not, Mom. I miss you.”

“I miss you too. We all miss you. When do you leave?”

“In a few months. How is everything up there? How is Ammon doing?”

“Yah, he’s okay. Everything is alright. It was pretty scary for a bit, but the results came back and it looks like he’s good to go. Nothing spread. He’s lucky he found it in time, but he’ll definitely need to have follow-ups.”

“Ok, good. Are you sure? ’Cause I’m so worried about him. I’d die if anything happened to him!” Sky said sincerely.

“I’m sure. Don’t you worry about that! You just make sure you take care of yourself. We are going to be fine. Do we get to see you before you go?”

“Well, I wanted to surprise you, but I’ll be home to say goodbye just before we ship out.”

“Oh, that’s so exciting!! I can’t wait to see you. I love you, Sky.”

“I love you too, Mom. Thanks for your help. I’ve got to get in to the mess hall for lunch in a minute, so OUT from Cherry Point!”

“OUT from Vancouver,” she replied, reaching for tissues as she placed the receiver back on the hook.

Chapter 5

The Shells of Life

Over the hum of sizzling bacon, a ringing startled me into cracking the eggshell in my hand. The sound echoed into the empty spaces of the high ceiling. Glancing down, I saw the devilish white remnants marring the beautiful yellow egg in the centre of my pan. Frustrated, I swirled them around with my much-too-fat spatula without gaining any headway. I’d need a better tool.

“Hey, it’s for you,” Terri said, grabbing my attention away from the stove.

Spinning around, spatula held out at my side like a wing, I saw what she meant. Though only a banal, solid object in her hand, it was more than just the black mass she held. To me, the telephone was now usually the bearer of bad news. Giving her a childish glare, my expression said it all.
Can’t I just not be here for once, for heaven’s sake?
Preoccupied, I turned back to my task. I was certainly not going to let my newly complicated life get in the way of enjoying my breakfast; I was determined not to let that little bit of shell ruin my morning. A snapshot of my dad’s absolutely debilitating fear of crunching egg shells flashed into my mind. A giggle worked its way up into my throat only to be cut off abruptly by the reality of the past few months, a reality that cast a shadow over that image and everything else these days, for that matter.

I hope every egg he eats for the rest of his life is filled with eggshells. How could he just walk out on us and start this whole travel mess?
A gentle “Eerrr, hhrrmmm” from behind me interrupted my thoughts as I poked and prodded at the little pieces of shell. With the sympathetic lift of a delicate brow and her characteristic, gentle persistence, Terri held the phone out to me.

“Nuh uh!” I grunted, shaking my head at her. My lips were tightly sealed to show I wasn’t there. To make sure she understood, I added a peevish demonstration of wide eyes to demonstrate how deadly serious I was. She inhaled a slow, unnervingly quiet breath and tightened her full lips together as if to say,
Don’t you make me!
She shook the phone at me.

Unwilling to budge
are the best words to describe the girl – the most stubborn kind of the most stubborn breed there is. That is Terri, and she is proud of it. Had I ever won a “fight” with her in the entire history of our friendship, I might have stood my ground, but this was Terri I was challenging. Muted argument or not, she would eventually overpower me. I had a vision of us in a tangled mess on the floor, with her holding me down with one hand and tightly gripping the phone in the other as she prepared to tie it to the side of my head, like Steve Irwin might tackle a wild croc. Given she was my best friend and all, I selflessly thought perhaps I shouldn’t put her through all that hassle. I smiled feebly at my food one last time.

“Just take it,” she directed, holding the phone out. Throwing my shoulders back in the most proper posture I could assume, I took it like a lady in a weak attempt to preserve my own dignity. Conveying an outward air of disinterest, I jumped up onto the kitchen counter and handed responsibility for breakfast over to Terri, along with the fork and spatula. It could have been my inner turmoil or simply the step back from the stove, but the phone felt chillingly cold. As I put the receiver to my ear, tremors resulting from the stress of the past weeks rushed through me again.

I’d been spending every moment I could away from home, seeking refuge in the comfort and ease of Terri’s house.
Her place was the exact opposite of the recent chaos at home. Home – the word lingered in my mind. There were only a few short months left to call it “home.” After that came a mind-numbing fog, graying the road ahead of me. Here at Terri’s, it was quiet. I could more easily pretend everything was normal – there were no boxes, no maps, no ringing telephones, and most of all, no tears.

Mom’s voice snapped me back to the present. “Somebody found Harrison!” she said the moment she heard me come on the phone. I exhaled deeply, releasing the tension I’d been holding in. I looked over at Terri, who by now was wondering what I was smiling about. “Harrison,” I whispered as I bit down on my lower lip. That was the only news that could possibly have brought me happiness. My dog, the love of my life, was safe! I jumped down from the counter as Terri dished out the food.

Up until now, Christmas had been my favourite season, but this year it was when we had to sell our four female Maltese to another breeder and say goodbye. Christmas Eve should’ve been a day where the hearth glowed as red as the lights gleaming through the frosted windows, bringing warmth and security to the home. Instead, it was the day Harrison had gone looking for his family alone. The joyful season had not brought warmth or happiness or laughter as it had in the past. As I sat in front of the rain-streaked window, it was like looking out from the inside of a glass fountain. I could only imagine the worst for my helpless, little blue dog, out there in the rain, searching in vain.

Unable to keep most of our stuff now that we were leaving, we first had to find homes for all our pets. People always said our house was like a zoo. At the time we had a peach-faced lovebird who, ironically, talked more than Verbal, our African Grey parrot; a tortoise; a pair of king snakes; two very large, salt-water fish tanks; and five Maltese dogs. I had also personally bred rabbits, hamsters and lizards then sold the babies to local pet stores in order to earn my own money. Now I had to hand each one over, giving them up in order to do something I never wanted in the first place. Not only did I not want it, I resented the heck out of it! This was by far the hardest step of the process, but it was at least some comfort to know that we found a home where all the female dogs were able to stay together under one roof. It was truly all just too much to bear.

Harrison had lost his family because of this trip, too. It was miserably wet the night he’d disappeared. He did not flee to avoid the negative energy flying around at home, though I wouldn’t have blamed him if he had. I’d have run away right alongside him, were that the case, but he had not run away. He had gone on a desperate, heroic hunt to find his lost harem. He was a dog on a mission, a mission I knew to be doomed because Hazel, Hope, Hayley, and Hiccup were already on their way to another breeder in Alberta, an entire province away.
Surely he had to give up some time. Surely he had to come home to sleep, to eat, to reassure me.
I’d mentally repeated this mantra for the past few days.
So why wasn’t he back?!!!

“When is he coming home?” I exploded, hounding Mom for an answer.

“A woman named Kathy says she found him,” she explained as I sat down at the round glass table with my freshly cooked meal. Oh, it smelled so good! My fork stopped midway to my gaping mouth at what I heard next. “But listen, this woman, she’s really fallen in love with Harrison. She wants to keep him.” My fork slowly returned to the plate, but I was rendered speechless. This was a direct blow that sent my mind spinning and tears flowing. As swiftly as it had come, the joy of Harrison’s return was gone again, unwelcomed and unfamiliar to the disheartened soul I’d become. Days had passed without any sign of the little guy, and I finally knew why. He was being held captive, and if he had been
able
, he would have come home.
At least she had found him instead of a cat-eating coyote, or an awful bear that had uncharacteristically stirred from a winter’s slumber.

“Kathy has another dog that Harrison gets along really well with. I told her about our trip and how you still had to find a home for him.”

“But Uncle Gord already said he’d take him!” I protested. I knew if my uncle took him I’d always be able to see him, but now a complete stranger wanted to take him.

“Just listen for a minute, Savannah. She really wants to keep him, and she only lives one street up from us. You’ll be able to go over and see him whenever you want. She seems like a really nice lady, and she’s become really attached to him,” Mom continued. “Plus, Gordon doesn’t
really
want him. He’s just trying to help.”

Pushing my now lukewarm eggs round and round on my plate, I sighed. I didn’t have an appetite anyway. This kind of stress always threw me off my food, no matter how good it smelled. I was really being put on the spot. I had to make this heart-breaking choice for both Harrison, who had no voice but mine, and for me. I felt like a peach weighted down by an oversized pit balanced precariously upon the branches of an olive tree. I hit unfathomable emotional lows and plummeted dizzyingly towards the stones below.

“He’s your dog, so it’s your decision. I’m not going to make it for you. You don’t have to if you don’t want to, but I think it would be the best thing for everyone, and it’s the grown-up thing to do.” Once again, Terri was there to comfort me when I got off the phone.

“Savannah, this is stupid! You don’t have to give her your dog. They have no right to guilt trip you like this. Just don’t do it,” she advised. She could clearly see I didn’t want to lose my dog but I didn’t like the thought of Harrison unnecessarily breaking two hearts instead of one, and he’d clearly won this Kathy woman’s heart. I choked back tears, torn by the apparent reality that Mom was probably right. Making one last desperate attempt to enjoy what was left of my morning, I forced a bit of breakfast into my mouth and looked up at Terri in complete despair as I felt the distinct crunch of an egg shell.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The absence of Harrison’s nails clinking on the tiles and hardwood floors behind me was deafening and depressed me even more.

“What’s up with her?” Ammon asked as he entered the front hallway.

“She’s upset about Harrison,” Mom informed him.

“You mean ‘Dumb Harry One Ball’?” Ammon corrected to his satisfaction, implying the dog was only half a man for more than just wearing ribbons and being dyed pink or blue half the time. “Well, it does seem a bit messed up,” Ammon added.

Being the only person I know who truly dislikes dogs, I was actually taken aback by Ammon’s empathy. Even he did not feel right about it. Meanwhile, I paced anxiously by the door, waiting for Kathy to bring him back. I missed him so much.

“I’m not just giving him away. You promise she’s going to let me see him, right?” I asked Mom again before she arrived.

“Yes, that’s what she said. She even kind of implied that you could have him back after the year.”

“Because I don’t want to give him away. If she isn’t going to let me see him, I’m not letting him go,” I clarified for the umpteenth time. Then, before I knew it, I was on the floor in Mom’s sitting room with my back against the wall, discussing conditions and agreements regarding Harrison. Across the room, Kathy stood in front of the fireplace with him in her arms, a sight that made my heart twist. She was a middle-aged woman, divorced with two children, friendly and very average, from what I could tell. She had the kind of face you wouldn’t remember or recognize in a crowd. Kathy’s other dog, Charlie, pranced in circles at her feet. His eyes bulged severely from his squished Shiatsu face as his neck cranked back further to look up at Harrison jealously. Setting Harrison down, she spoke adoringly of him and their week together.