I Shouldn't Be Telling You This: Success Secrets Every Gutsy Girl Should Know (17 page)

Over time, think, too, about your own strengths and weaknesses as a leader. And though it’s important to work on your weaknesses, it’s also smart to keep polishing those strengths. Look, you can’t do everything, so make your mark in what you excel at.

Rule #2:
Tell your team what your mission is
(even if your team is only one person, i.e., an assistant)
.
Besides the fact that people need to know what they’re doing, they love to work with a mission in mind. It’s totally energizing. Tell them that you want to “kick the butt of the competition by increasing sales by 15 percent” or “be the standout department in the high school by boosting student test scores by ten points.”

You should also be sharing a set of values. What are the standards you want your employees to adhere to?

Rule #3:
Tell people what you want them to do and when you want them to do it by
.
In “4 Tips for Masterfully Managing Your Boss” (part I), I stressed the importance of clarifying with your boss what your responsibilities and deadlines are. In an ideal world, it’s the
boss’s
job to arrange those sessions. So when you are the boss, do it. Be clear with your employees. Spell out their assignments and their completion dates. It might prove valuable to hold a quick daily or weekly meeting with your staff at which you review what’s going on. People, I’ve found, like the ritual (and when done right, the
fun
) of regular catch-up meetings, as long as they aren’t a time suck. Consider making meetings “stand up”—where everyone remains standing while quickly running through what they’re focusing on.

And don’t just tell,
teach.
Let staffers try new stuff. The smart people want to learn what you know so they can have a job like yours, and this will help keep them engaged. One of the best compliments I ever received was when a former staffer said in an interview, “Working for Kate was like going to editor in chief boot camp.”

Just don’t share
all
your secrets. Those people may compete against you one day!

Rule #4:
Give feedback regularly
.
If it’s criticism, say it calmly, but don’t sugarcoat it either. Nobody learns from that. On the flip side, praise a job well done. Some bosses operate under the premise that too much praise will turn you into a lardass, and yet I’ve always found that the right kind of praise (authentic and for accomplishments that really matter) is incredibly motivating. Say it in person, but it’s also great to sometimes put it into writing, too—not just in e-mails but also handwritten on nice stationery. Trust me, people will save those notes. And if good work deserves praise, fabulous work deserves a reward: a bonus, a perk, dinner out, a chance to handle a great new project.

Rule #5:
Listen
.
Not just to your direct reports but to those on the front lines and new staffers with a fresh point of view. Part of listening is going deeper with good questions about the topic at hand. It’s not only intoxicating and gratifying for an employee when you, as a boss, listen to him or her; it also helps to ensure that you will learn worthwhile information and behind-the-scenes dirt—about how a project is really going, a new approach to doing business, emerging trends you should be aware of, little problems in the workplace,
big
problems in the workplace, a troublesome staffer, as well as rumors about the company and coworkers.

And don’t just listen at your desk. Years ago I heard someone say that smart guys who ran manufacturing companies knew that it was key to “walk the factory floor.” Not only do you increase your visibility when you pop in on people, but when you ask them questions, they aren’t tied to a prepared script.

By the way, being a good listener also helps you build the kind of inner circle every boss needs to really go big with a mission. When people know they’re
heard
, it helps inspire a fierce devotion.

Unfortunately, the people capable of offering helpful insight aren’t necessarily going to come right out and volunteer it, despite how inclusive you may be as a boss. They may believe you don’t really need to know certain details or you’ll get miffed if they butt in. So when something’s on the table, ask for their opinion. Say things such as “What do
you
think?” or What’s
your
gut telling you on this one?” Or “If it were up to
you
, would you go with A or B?” And under no circumstances dis their reply. Even if you disagree, say something like “Interesting” or “I hadn’t thought of that.” And most important, leave your ego at the door and actually consider what they say, even if it’s contrary to your initial instinct.

That said, you don’t want to make choices by committee or give everyone a vote. Learn what your staffers know, and then
you
make the decision.

And when a staff member does contribute a powerful idea that you decide to run with, share credit. Let your boss know who on your team has contributed big ideas or important tactics. This doesn’t take away from you. And your subordinates will begin to learn that you promote them this way. Some of your staff are aiming for greatness, and they want you to help them get there.

Rule #6:
Encourage people to present you with solutions, not just problems
.
When they come running in all crazed and saying stuff such as “No one’s calling me back” or “They just shut down the whole thing” or “Mandy is blowing a gasket and threatening to quit,” tell them to figure out how to fix the situation and then come back and present the plan to you.

Rule #7:
Eschew the too-big idea meeting
.
In addition to running regular catch-up meetings like the one I described previously, you will probably need to sometimes have idea meetings, too, or in-depth catch-up meetings.

Please
keep those meetings on the small side. I don’t think I’ve ever been in a brainstorming or strategy meeting of over five or six people that I could say was productive. When meetings are bigger than that, people tend to become tongue-tied—maybe they’re afraid of speaking up in front of that many people—and as you stare at their slack-jawed expressions, you will find it harder and harder to articulate what you need from them. Small groups produce far more energy and creativity. If you have more than six people whom you need to hear from, schedule meetings with a few at a time.

Rule #8:
Change your mind sometimes
.
People hate indecisiveness in bosses, but even more they’re aggravated by bosses who frequently make a decision and then change their mind. That kind of flip-flopping makes you look weak, plus people have busted their butts implementing your
first
decision. If you find you are constantly rethinking things, sit down alone with a cup of coffee on a weekend morning and review how many of your rethought decisions have turned out to be right. If it’s most of them, try to figure out what prevented you from making the right choice initially. Did you not have enough information? Were you afraid to trust your gut? Did you listen to the wrong person? Then figure out how to make sure such things don’t get in the way in the future.

That said, I think it’s good to change your mind
sometimes.
It keeps people on their toes when you are a little unpredictable and prevents them from being complacent. I remember once changing my mind twice on how a fashion story should be written and I could tell the copywriter had her panties in a twist about it. But it was a good thing.

Rule #9:
Expect total and complete discretion.
As far as your subordinates are concerned, working for you should be on the same level as being a member of the Pitt-Jolie household staff—everything is confidential. Let them know up front that this is what you demand, not after someone has gossiped and it’s gotten back to you.

Rule #10:
Nip bad behavior in the bud (sometimes I wish it were “butt”)
.
There is a law of what I call “work physics” that you absolutely must know: the bad behavior of people who work for you never, ever goes away on its own. In fact, if it is left unattended, it will most likely get
even worse.
By bad behavior, I don’t mean poor job performance (I will tackle that in a minute). I mean naughty stuff such as eye rolling in meetings, muttering under one’s breath, showing up late, playing hooky, visiting www.prisonpenpals.com during office hours, talking too long on personal calls, bad-mouthing other employees, and so on. Sooner or later people who work for you will do crap like this because they get frustrated or bored or are jerks to begin with.

Now, when you are first a boss, you may be tempted to let this conduct go unnoted initially because it’s awkward to bring it up and you may not even be a hundred percent certain that the muttering or eye rolling actually happened (betcha it did, though!). But if you don’t address this behavior, it will happen again, trust me (this falls under the heading “If you give someone an inch, they will take a mile”).

So here’s what you need to do the very first time naughtiness occurs: ask the person to step someplace private with you and tell him you never want to see that kind of behavior again. If he denies doing it (“I wasn’t rolling my eyes”), say, “Good, because that kind of action is totally unacceptable.”

What if someone just isn’t doing her job well? She’s lazy or unfocused, for instance. You may feel the urge to wring the person’s neck or chew her out, but I’ve found those strategies, though momentarily satisfying, do not produce effective long-term results. In fact, when you really take someone to task, she often ends up panicking, perhaps not having ever realized how badly she was perceived. Her performance starts to spiral downward, getting worse rather than better.

Better, I think, is to call the person in, calmly state your concerns, and ask
her
how she thinks she can best address the issues. By involving her in the process, you give her more of a sense of control.

Rule #11:
Never let a staffer tell you something while he or she is sitting down and you are standing up
.
There’s a type of bad behavior that can occur when you are a new boss and someone who works for you resents your hiring or promotion or if you’re younger than someone reporting to you: the person may challenge your authority and even try to undermine it. If this occurs, you will probably be stunned initially. You will wonder how someone can have the balls to act that way to a superior. Well, the rage they feel over the fact that you are their boss has rendered them stupid.

It happened to me when I was given the job of running
Family Weekly
while the publisher searched for an editor in chief. A woman on the staff, who was now reporting to me, suddenly turned very bratty. One day when I was dropping off a file in her office, she asked me to close the door. Dutifully—and idiotically—I did so. As I stood in front of her desk—where she was
seated
, by the way—she told me that she had the publisher wrapped around her finger and could make things easier for me. I muttered something like “Of course I need everyone’s support” and left.

As soon as I got back to my office—and reassured myself that no, I wasn’t in a 1940s movie starring Joan Crawford or Barbara Stanwyck—I realized how dumb I’d been. I’d let her act if
she
were the one calling the shots. And it had been made worse by the fact that she had been sitting at her desk (in the power position) and I’d been standing in front of it (in the supplicant position).

When you’re first establishing your authority (you won’t need to worry so much about stuff like this when you’re firmly in charge), be careful about ending up with the wrong feng shui for a boss. Don’t allow yourself to be cornered or placed in an awkward seating or standing situation. The moment the woman told me to shut the door, I should have told her, “If you have something you want to discuss with me privately, you need to set up a time to do it. Call me later when I have my calendar in front of me.” And then I should have had the discussion in
my
office. If she’d still had the nerve to make her little comment, I should have said, “All I need from you right now is to focus on doing your job and doing it well. You shouldn’t be spending time on inappropriate things, like trying to wrap someone around your finger.”

One successful woman I know believes that, with resentful employees, it helps to put things on the table. You can say something such as “You seem to have an issue with me. Let’s talk about it.”

It would be nice if those with a big chip on their shoulder eventually sweetened up. But over the years, I’ve found that people who feel totally wronged by someone else’s hire rarely get over it. Your best bet is to eliminate them from your staff as soon as possible.

Rule #12
:
Hire passionate people whose strengths compensate for some of your weaknesses—and who won’t just tell you what you want to hear
.
One of the worst bosses I had, an editor at a woman’s magazine, hated it when you didn’t agree with her. Not long after I started, we were doing a one-page story on improving your public speaking skills and the art department had picked a photo of a woman wearing a dress so short you could practically see the crack in her ass. I suggested to my boss that we use another shot. But my boss allowed the photo to run, in part, I think, because she’d hated being contradicted. After that I learned to keep my mouth shut. That woman, I came to see, was surrounded by yes people, and that is partly why she failed in the end.

Second opinions are so often worth hearing. They can wake you up and make you aware of new trends and insights, which in the end leads to better decision making. So hire smart people with minds of their own and fire in their bellies. Yes, they must endorse your mission, but let them talk, let them run with projects. (How do you find these people? When you interview job candidates, ask them to describe something they’re passionate about and times when they’ve taken risks.)