I Shouldn't Be Telling You This: Success Secrets Every Gutsy Girl Should Know (16 page)

Once you have an idea, don’t overly perfect it.
When you try to hold on to an idea too long in order to make it perfect, you can miss the moment. So put it out there. “Even if your product isn’t as perfect as you’d like, perfection in your hands isn’t relevant,” says Paperless Post cofounder Alexa Hirschfeld. “You need to know what your
consumer
thinks. When you put it out there, you can begin to collect data to make it more perfect.”

Stumped? Step away.
Brandstyle’s Zoe Weisberg Coady says that when she is stumped for an idea, she does something totally different. “Then later, I come back to it,” she says. “If you’re too pressured, it’s never going to happen. But if you step away, your brain solves it.”

Press up on the bottom of your desktop or a table with your fingers.
This comes from a study done by the
Journal of Personality and Social Psychology.
Apparently the motion flexes the muscles you use to bring things closer to your body, which your brain associates with openness and creativity.

And always ask yourself, “Did I go big or go home?”
You’ve got a winning idea. But could it be bolder? Could you take it further? Hold your ideas up to a phrase that nudges you to go bigger. When I met Colin Cowie, the lifestyle guru and party planner who put together
Cosmo
’s fortieth-anniversary party, he told me that everything he created needed to be a “jaw-dropping moment.” What a great phrase to use! From the moment I started writing
Cosmo
cover lines, I tried to use a similar tactic: I asked myself if they were fearless enough. That’s how lines such as “Heinous Break-ups: You’ll Want to Slap These Jerks” turned into “The Most Heinous Break-ups in
Cosmo
History: You’ll Want to Bitch-slap These Jerks.”

{
 
You, the Brand
 
}

S
everal years ago I bumped into a professional model I knew who was now over age thirty and was beginning to get involved in other projects, including being a product sponsor. We caught up, and then I asked if she was still doing any modeling. “No,” she told me. “I’m really more of a
brand
now.”

We’re constantly being told these days that we
all
must turn ourselves into brands. We need brand identities and brand statements and brand promotions. It may seem silly to think of yourself the same way you would a bag of coffee or box of tampons, but it can actually be helpful to define your professional brand identity, especially now when you’ve begun to achieve some success. It forces you to focus your efforts before you go too much further down the road, helps you market yourself for jobs, and enables you to create buzz about what you are doing.

What does a brand identity mean? Here’s insight from advertising executive Bobbi Casey-Howell: “I was brought up in the world of advertising, and the idea I most cling to and believe in is the one Donny Deutsch, CEO of Deutsch, taught me: a brand is a set of values. Values are your beliefs and what make you
you.
Your brand isn’t how you wear your hair, what color your eyes are, or how you dress. Values are at your core. Your brand values actually inform your dress, your look, and how you act.”

You can begin to think about your brand identity by considering how you live your life and the kind of work you’re drawn to. “You make decisions every day based on what your brand is,” says Casey-Howell. “Let’s say you’re deciding where to have dinner with friends. What values are reflected in your choice of restaurant? Energy? Friendliness? Creativity? Consistency? If you make a list of brands you prefer and purchase—detergent, shampoo, computer, cell phone, et cetera—you can probably find similarities among them and get an insight as to what your own brand is about.”

Casey-Howell says that when she looks at the brands she prefers and what she values, it’s easy for her to see that her personal brand is all about no-nonsense.

After you’ve defined the values that matter to you, begin to think about the professional skills that you want to develop and showcase that will reflect those values. Early on in your career you may want to experiment and try your hand at a bunch of things, but before long you’ll want to start narrowing it down.

“You need to find your focus and stick with it,” says Emily Heyward, partner and director of strategy at Red Antler, a branding company that believes in designing from the inside out. “A friend of mine who is a high-powered advertising executive gave me great advice, which was to stop trying to be good at things I don’t enjoy doing. Of course, every job is going to have unpleasant tasks associated with it. But instead of trying to be good at everything, work on being great at a few key things. By completely owning a few core functions, you become indispensable in those areas, and everyone knows your value—versus the brand that tries to be all things to all people and ends up standing for nothing.”

Casey-Howell also stresses the importance of focusing. “It’s almost impossible to be a generalist today,” she says. “As a consumer you want to work with a specialist. You want someone who specializes in what you’re paying for. Your hair, for instance, or an exercise class or the software you use. The same holds true in your career. Your brand can be your specialty or how you get something done.”

But be aware, says Casey-Howell, that at the rate things are moving, your specialty may not be a specialty forever. Always keep an eye out for how you can adapt. And, of course, one day you may want to change directions altogether.

Even if you think you’ve focused, ask yourself if it might be smart to go ever tighter. A strategy in one of my favorite marketing books,
The 22 Immutable Laws of Marketing
: if you can’t be number one in a category, set up a new category you can be first in. Example: Amelia Earhart wasn’t the first person to fly solo across the Atlantic, but she was the first
woman
to do it. Look for a void that needs to be filled.

Once you have a sense of your brand, boil everything down into a sound bite that you can use as a measuring stick. This is especially true when you’re creating any kind of product or service. Recently I went to a breakfast to hear designer Tory Burch speak, and she defined her wonderful brand as “upscale flair at an accessible price point.” All her designs are held up to that statement. She also described the piece that had crystallized the concept for her: a tunic she saw in a Paris flea market, one that reminded her of a lovely tunic her mother had worn. Tunics are still a key part of her collections. It can help with
any
brand to have a visual in mind. Try making a board of images to help you focus.

As your career progresses, you will need to make choices that keep you true to your brand. “The agency I work for is no-nonsense, just as I am,” says Casey-Howell. “And at this stage in my career, I hire people I believe possess that value. Since I want everyone I hire to be successful, I ask questions to uncover that value.”

Take on as many assignments as possible that will enhance your specialty. And learn what you need to make it even stronger. Just as important as saying yes to what fits your brand is saying no to what doesn’t.

Pay attention to your gut, too. It will help inform you when things are off brand for you. But you have to take the time to listen and question yourself. One of the things I eventually realized at the end of my first year at
Cosmo
was how much better of a fit the magazine was for me than either
Redbook
or
McCall’s
had been. I’ve always been drawn to what’s kind of edgy (um, maybe that’s why I write mysteries), and I’d always felt weirdly constricted in those other jobs. But I hadn’t done enough thinking at the time to put my finger on it and wonder if there was something better suited for me. Luckily I found my way there.

What you want to strive for is consistency. “The reason Lindsay Lohan has had such a hard time making a comeback is because she went from being America’s sweetheart to a hot mess,” says Jo Piazza, the author of
Celebrity, Inc.: How Famous People Make Money.
“A lesbian, then not a lesbian. She’s a brand flip-flopper. Consumers don’t know what they will get, so that’s why they are no longer willing to invest in her. On the other hand, Charlie Sheen’s fans didn’t abandon him when he had a breakdown because his brand had always been consistent. You know he is a bad boy, and the badder he is, the more successful he is.”

Once you’re sure of your professional brand identity, you need to
advertise it, promote it, market it.
“You want to make sure you’re communicating your key point of difference—your positioning—at every occasion,” says Heyward. “When you create a résumé, for instance, it’s not about listing every single role and responsibility you’ve had. Instead it’s about highlighting accomplishments that all ladder up to your overall positioning, expressing a clear point of view. You’re taking control of the impressions you make by doing the work for them.”

You should also have a bio that plays up your brand—this will be used for any kind of press or speaking engagement. Make it jazzy and exciting, and don’t be afraid of language that really touts you. For instance, Rita Hazan’s online bio doesn’t simply call her a hair colorist; it refers to her as “one of the most sought-after colorists in the world.”

Keep reinforcing your brand at every opportunity—on your website, in blogs you write, in speeches you give, in interviews.

You’ve got to have the guts to say no here, too. If a particular activity isn’t going to reinforce your brand, it may very well be a waste of time. Sometimes, though, things can be tweaked to your advantage. Let’s say you’re an environmentalist who specializes in saving lakes, and you’re asked to be on a panel on global warming. Does that support your brand? It does if you speak specifically about how the warming of northern lakes makes them more susceptible to invasive species and the lack of snow cover threatens the replenishment of lakes.

Think about the details, too: the way you dress, the accessories you use, your stationery. One day when we were chatting at her salon, Rita Hazan showed me the screen saver on her iPhone. It was a close-up shot of the back of Katy Perry’s hair, dyed the most fantastic shade of blue by Rita. Her screen saver wasn’t a shot of her dogs. It was a shot of her
brand.

One last point about brand: go big or go home with your brand whenever you can. Ask yourself with each step: Can I go further? Can I push the envelope here? Can I make a bigger statement? When the dermatologist and surgeon Ellen Marmur decided to leave her offices at the Manhattan hospital where she practiced and open up her own office, she decided not to call it Dr. Marmur’s office but rather Marmur Medical. Thinking big. I just love that.

{
 
My Best Rules for Being a Boss
 
}

W
hen I was sixteen years old and eager to make more regular money than babysitting provided, I took a job as a part-time dental assistant, working on Saturdays and every weekday during the summer. The dentist taught me something he called four-handed dentistry, where we slapped the dental instruments back and forth into each other’s hands like you see on shows such as
Grey’s Anatomy.
While other girls were cheering at football games on Saturday, I was securing bibs on patients, assisting the dentist as he filled their cavities, and vacuuming debris out of their mouths afterward. In many ways it was a good experience (though there’s something creepy about hearing someone say “Miss White, get me the bone file” when you are only sixteen). The only major problem: my boss, the dentist, was a total meanie.

He was charming to patients, but he constantly snapped, barked, and even yelled at the staff, often in an ego-crushing way. In the three years I worked there, something like fifteen receptionists came and went; one never even returned from lunch on her first day on the job. Because I wanted the work, I stuck it out, always doing my best to keep a stiff upper lip. The worst moment for me was when, just before we closed the office one summer day, a star athlete from the rival high school came in for an emergency filling. The dentist reprimanded me harshly in front of him, totally humiliating me. To this day, I can still picture myself leaving the office later. I slammed the door as hard as I could (the dentist obviously felt the walls shake because he called me at home to apologize), and on the front stoop I made a vow to myself: I would never,
ever
be that kind of boss.

I’ve been in charge of people for several decades—starting with one person and eventually overseeing more than sixty—and I would give myself decent marks for keeping my vow. Wherever I’ve gone, I’ve tried to create a supportive and easy atmosphere that people thrive in. I’ve enjoyed nurturing talent (I love the fact that at least seven people I’ve hired have gone on to become editors in chief), and I think most people would say I’m a fair and encouraging leader, bearing little resemblance to a
The Devil Wears Prada
type. I’ve given a huge amount of thought to what makes an effective boss, and when I’ve stumbled—far more times than I’d like—I’ve tried to analyze what I’ve done wrong. Here are the rules I’ve tried to live by.

Rule #1:
Study good bosses—and lousy ones
.
Though some companies offer management-training programs, most places are not going to provide you with any instruction in being a boss. What I’m trying to say is, girlfriend, you’re on your own. But don’t just wing it. Watch your boss and her boss and other bosses around you, and try to articulate to yourself what they do right and what they do wrong, which behavior you’ll want to emulate and which you’ll want to avoid. What are their tricks for inspiring and motivating employees? Or not? How do they handle pressure? What do they do that works your last nerve?

One of my best bosses was a guy who had a Zen-like calm and handled everything with near-perfect equanimity. Though I knew I wasn’t hardwired to be exactly like him, I still learned so much from being around a man who saw the advantages that came from not overreacting. One of my worst bosses was a guy who actually sneaked my idea folder out of my tidy file while I was at lunch one day (I found out because my lunch date didn’t show and I came back early). He was terrified of losing his job, worried that everyone had more ideas than he did. From this dude I learned that desperate feelings can lead to desperately stupid actions if you don’t pop a chill pill.