If Forever Comes (27 page)

He took my face in his hands, his hold strong,
fierce as he stared at me with zealous eyes. When he leaned
forward, I didn’t stop him. I let him. I wanted to feel.

Could he? Could he cover the pain? Expose
something in me that was good?

His lips brushed mine, a breath, a brush,
insignificance.

Still, it stole what little air I could
find.

A whimper passed my parted lips. Something he
seemed to mistake as desire. He pressed harder, his firm lips
searching mine. He groaned and jerked back, his hold unfailing as
his attention jumped all over my face. He gripped me
tight.

“God, I’ve wanted to do that for so long. Did
you know that, Liz? That I’ve been wanting to taste you? And you
taste amazing.”

He lifted his chin, inclined his head as he
dipped, and he searched me again, his mouth powerful as it explored
mine. Then he deepened it, his tongue making a rough pass across my
trembling bottom lip.

A jagged gasp ripped through my constricted
airways. Tore through me with an avenging fury.

This kiss.

It was shattering.

Shred me to pieces, splintered as it fell,
demolished the walls I’d erected around me.

This kiss came with a ruthless
force.

It cut me open.

Splayed the wounds wide. They bled, surged,
flooded me in everything I’d never wanted to feel again.

My mind shot to Christian, and suddenly I was
back on my family room couch. And I could feel him, feel him
holding me.

“I love you, Christian. Always.
There is nothing that could make me stop loving you. Nothing that
could make me stop needing you. You are my start and you are my
finish, the one who’s going to be there for everything in
between.”

And I
felt
…but I felt everything I’d
been so desperately trying to shut out.

It hurt.

Oh my God, it hurt so bad.

I fisted Logan’s shirt, needing something to
hang on to.

He edged forward, his hand coming to the back
of my neck as he kissed me.

I was drowning.

Incredulous laughter shot from my
mouth in a contemptuous scoff. “What do you mean, how can I say
that?” I pushed up on my knees. “I was the one who carried her,
Christian.” I jabbed my finger to my chest. “I was the one who
loved her and cared for her. She died inside of me and I had to
give birth to her.” I lifted my chin. “So yeah, I can say that…you
have no idea what I’m feeling. None.”

His entire face twisted in
contention. “You think she meant less to me than to you? You think
my heart isn’t broken over this?”

“You wouldn’t even touch her.” It
dripped from my mouth as a sneer.

Anger bled free.

Overbearing.

Brutal.

Destructive.

A sob tore up my throat.

Logan jerked back, holding my face at a
distance as if to hold back the chaos raging though me, panic
firing in his green eyes. “Oh my God, Liz, I’m so sorry…I didn’t
mean…”

We both jumped when we heard the crash at the
front door. Our attention whipped around just as Christian barreled
in. He seemed to get knocked to a standstill when he saw Logan and
me twisted up together.

Violence trembled from his seething bones, his
face pinched in pain as he cast his devastation on me.

Logan jumped to his feet, his body a barricade
as he stepped in front of me. His voice dropped in slow disbelief.
“Are you out of your fucking mind?”

Protective aggression curled through his
muscles as he took a stance in front of me. Shielding
me.

That was impossible. There was no defense.
Nothing that could defend me from the force of
Christian.

I stared up at the man, the one who inhabited
every significant memory of my life, the pain and the joy, the love
and the ecstasy, the misery and the torment.

And anger.

It was glaring. Overwhelming.

I was
so
angry.

Blue eyes blazed at me with disgust,
destroyed, spearing me to the couch.

Pain sliced through me, the sharpest knife
driven into the pit of my stomach.

And I hurt.

How was it possible to hate a man I loved so
much?

Present Day, Early
October

Elizabeth and I had been through so
much.

Indescribable bliss and devastating
sorrow.

Our love ran so deep, and yet, it seemed our
wounds ran deeper.

Some of those wounds had seemed unbearable,
inflictions impossible to recover from.

No doubt one came with the regrets of the
greatest mistake I’d ever made, the day Elizabeth had been forced
to choose between me and Lizzie before she was even born, the day
I’d sent her away to live life on her own, scared and
alone.

Another had been the day Lillie was taken from
us. Our hearts had ruptured when she was ripped from our
lives.

I once believed the other had been the day I’d
walked out of Elizabeth’s house little more than three months ago.
I couldn’t imagine hurting any worse than that moment, when I’d
snapped the door shut to block out the overwhelming sorrow of the
woman I loved, a wall put up between us because neither of us knew
how to deal with the excruciating pain.

But that moment didn’t come close to the
devastation that hit me now.

Elizabeth balanced just on the edge of his
couch, one leg canted off to the side as if she were getting ready
to slip onto the asshole’s lap. Those fingers I knew so well were
tangled in his shirt while he held her perfect face between his
filthy hands.

Malice curled my hands into fists as I took in
the brutality happening ten feet away from me.

He was kissing her.

He was fucking kissing her and touching
her.

And the bastard had the nerve to do it while
she still wore my ring.

Her head spun in my direction, breaking their
connection. Shock widened her brown eyes as she gaped at me from
across the short span of the room. Still, it felt like I’d never
been further from her than I was now. The distance so great. An
impenetrable expanse.

Logan jumped to his feet, and the asshole
moved to stand in front of her. Misplaced aggression coiled his
muscles. As if I were in the wrong. As if he thought it his job to
keep her from me. That was his intention. I knew it. Possessiveness
radiated from his posture, as if he had some kind of claim on
her.

But he had none.

She was mine, and she was always going to
be.

Even through the barrier Logan tried to forge
between us, her wary gaze held mine. A storm raged in her
expression, tightened in shock, taut in anger, flashed with
distinct relief and adoration. I didn’t know if Elizabeth
recognized she still held it for me.

The asshole’s voice rang somewhere in my mind.
“Are you out of your fucking mind?”

My attention snapped up to meet his
sneer.

Yes, I was most definitely out of my fucking
mind.

How could she do this to me?

I said it aloud, the trauma flowing free. “How
could you do this, Elizabeth?” It was an accusation, a rush of
emotion squeezed from within. I looked at her with disbelieving
eyes, my head slowly shaking as the pain tore through me. “How
could you?”

Tears slipped down her face, her lips
quivering.

And I knew she had been crying, even before I
broke through the door. Like maybe she felt it, too, the chaos that
had spun me into a complete fucking frenzy as I pounded the
sidewalk outside the bastard’s house for the last fifteen minutes.
When I couldn’t take it any longer, I’d tried to peer through the
drapes of his window, the two silhouettes obscured, though I’d seen
them leaning, pressing, moving.

There was no more standing aside.

I was taking her back.

Logan inched a little farther in front of her.
He cocked his head to the side as he narrowed his eyes. “Get the
fuck out of my house.”

My laughter was ragged, verging on
hysterical.

Because there was no sanity in this
situation.

“I’m not going anywhere without her.” I spit
the words at him.

Elizabeth whimpered, grasping at the collar of
her shirt as she scrambled back on his couch, climbing to her feet
on unsteady legs.

I could see the line of her, her face blocked
from view, her body shaking as she fumbled a few steps back. And it
almost felt like relief when she came around and stood in the small
open area behind the couch. Her face was downturned, and she
wavered in indecision.

I made it for her.

“Go get in my car, Elizabeth.” The command
slid out low.

A cry erupted from her, as if she were in
physical pain. I knew she was.

Logan rushed around the other side of the
couch, as if to shield her, as if he knew anything about the woman
crumbling in the middle of his room. “She isn’t going anywhere with
you.” He extended his arm back to keep her at bay. “Baby, stay
back,” came as a quiet assault from his mouth, as if he were
sharing some kind of private conversation with her, telling her
without words that she didn’t have to be afraid of me.

Baby
.

He called her baby.

Hostility rolled from me in waves as a sweep
of possessiveness broke, taking over every cell in my
body.

When he took a single step toward me, I
charged him. My shoulder collided with his chest.

A horrified scream rose up from Elizabeth,
blended with the cries she couldn’t seem to contain. They fed the
agitation, the madness that left me unhinged. Because without
Elizabeth, I was in pieces. Shattered.

Caught off guard, Logan fumbled backward
before he regained his balance. On his toes, he bounced in
aggression.

“You are fucking crazy,” wheezed from his
lungs. He rushed in, swung wide as he aimed for my face. The punch
missed as I ducked my head.

My arm cocked back, insanity flooding from me
unlike anything I’d ever known. All I knew was I wouldn’t let him
have her. I wouldn’t, and I couldn’t fucking stand the thought,
knowing that the two of them had been together.

Was she sleeping with him? Had she been curled
up with him in his bed?

Blinded with fury, I slammed my fist into the
underside of his jaw. His head rocked back.

A guttural groan roared from his
throat.

Her undying presence nipped at my soul, teased
and taunted as I bore down on this asshole who for even a second
thought she could somehow be his.

I hit him again, the strike landing on his
cheek.

He stumbled back, his own fury mounting a
resistance as he surged forward.

Elizabeth screamed.

My attention darted to her, to the one I
wasn’t sure I knew any longer.

Sadness poured from her as she witnessed me
coming unglued.

Unprepared, distracted by her, his fist
connected with my nose. Pain exploded, splitting my
vision.

Blood gushed, and I saw red.

I lost it, losing myself in the pent-up rage
that I’d harbored for so long. I unleashed it on him, the anger for
her, the anger for me, the anger at the injustice of this fucked up
world.

Her desperate voice hit my ears. “Christian,
please, stop.”

I stumbled back, aggression still curling
through my senses as I glared down at the piece of shit who was
trying to steal her from me.

I swiped the back of my hand beneath my nose
and across my mouth. Blood smeared. Sniffing, I turned my attention
to Elizabeth. She was crying, lost, just as fucking lost as
me.

“Go get in my car, Elizabeth.” It was hard,
harsh with the anger. I realized most of it was directed at
her.