If I Loved You (Harper Falls Book 1) (33 page)

Rose removed one of the containers and
stared at the label. It was the kind she ate. The kind that you
could only get in one store in Spokane. She closed the
refrigerator, leaned against one of the cabinets, sliding to the
floor. Every little thing he'd ever done for her came rushing back.
How she would get in her car and find that he'd filled it with gas
or how he bought an electric kettle because he knew she liked tea
in the morning instead of coffee. How he had automatically cleared
a drawer in his dresser so that she would have some place to keep a
few items. And on the night of the Lilac Ball when he had tucked
her dress in so it wouldn't get caught in the car door. So many
times he showed her how he felt, little gestures filled with love.
Love. Rose looked down at the carton of yogurt. Why else would
someone drive miles out of their way to buy something they didn't
even like? Blueberry, her favorite. She frowned when something
dropped onto the carton. She wiped at it. Water? Where—?

Hand shaking, Rose lifted it and wiped at
her cheek. Tears. She was crying. Amazed, Rose sat there not even
attempting to stem the flow. Worried, Edgar butted her gently with
his nose and she just wrapped her arms around his neck and sobbed.
She cried for her mother, for the pain of never knowing her father.
And she cried for herself. For that lost little girl and for the
woman she became. A woman who would have thrown away the best thing
that ever happened to her because she was afraid to open up her
heart.

She didn't know how long she had sat there
with the ever patient dog but when she finally lifted her head his
fur was soaking wet. She wiped her cheeks and gave a watery
laugh.

"Oh, my darling boy." She gave him another
squeeze.

Sensing the storm had passed Edgar wiggled
excitedly and gave her still damp cheek a big swipe with his
tongue.

"Yes, I'm done, I promise. At least for
now." Rose got to her feet and poured herself a glass of water. She
drank it all down, replenishing the liquid she'd just cried out.
She washed the glass and put it away, just like Jack would have
done. Jack. She looked down at Edgar and grinned, her emotions
flipping from despair to elation in a matter of minutes.

"I know he should be the first one to hear
this, but I have to tell someone. I love him, Edgar. I love
Jack."

Edgar seemed unimpressed. He gave her a look
that seemed to say,
Of course you love him.
I've known it all along.

"Well, I didn’t." Rose laughed again,
twirling around and around. So this is what it felt
like—effervescent and grounded all at once. And scary—really scary.
But strong and bright. And unconditional.

Rose stopped.
Unconditional
. That was it. She grabbed her
keys.

"Come on Edgar, I have a song to
finish."

Knowing what the jingle of keys meant, Edgar
raced out to the car, prancing impatiently while Rose reset the
alarm. She opened the door to the backseat and let the dog jump in.
The trip passed in a happy haze as she hummed the tune that would
accompany the words that were already forming in her head. She was
so anxious to get to the studio while the inspiration was fresh
that she almost didn't notice the strange car parked in her
driveway. Since the sun had already set, the only light was from
fixtures that bracketed the garage. Deciding to err on the side of
caution, Rose parked by the curb instead up pulling alongside the
car. The slightly tinted windows made it difficult for her to see
the person sitting in the driver's seat, but there was something
about the silhouette that was eerily familiar. Telling Edgar to
stay she stepped out just as other car's door opened. What she
heard next sent a chill down her spine.

"Hello, Rose."

It was a voice she would never forget.

"Louise."

"GO HOME JACK."

Jack sighed. There had to be something wrong
with a man who had a beautiful woman on his arm and she was doing
her best to get rid of him.

Karen Poe was a screen goddess. If ever
there was a woman that men wanted to sleep with and women wanted to
be, it was Karen. She was also funny, smart and very observant.

"You did your duty, no one attacked me or
even looked at me wrong. You even earned yourself a whole new group
of female admirers. Not that you seem terribly interested." She
flashed him her million dollar smile. "Now get on that fancy plane
of yours and
go home
."

Jack wanted nothing more. He had flown down
to Los Angeles that morning. Karen hadn't needed to leave for the
theater until that evening, so he did what Drew had suggested and
called an old friend. Alan 'Buster' Loring had been one of the most
feared linebackers in college football. Jack had always been
grateful that they were on the same team. After four years of
playing in the NFL, one too many concussions had ended his
professional career and he was now making his first movie. Jack
couldn't think of anyone better suited to the action film genre. He
was a big man with an even bigger personality. Fans were going to
love him.

"Looking good, my friend." Buster greeted
him with a bone crushing hug. His shooting schedule wouldn't let
him get away for long so they were having lunch on the set.
Wardrobe had Buster dressed in a torn t-shirt and dusty jeans, his
muscles strategically smeared with blood and grease.

"You look like you lost a fight with a what,
a time traveling cyborg?"

Buster laughed. "Close enough, except I
didn't lose. Now tell me what brings you to L.A.?"

"I'm here for Karen Poe's movie
premiere."

"Right, time to trot out the old bodyguard
persona. Karen Poe, huh? Now there's a lovely lady. I don't suppose
you'd introduce me?"

"Sure." Buster was one of the good guys and
stopping to think about it Jack thought he would be a good match
for Karen. "But you do know that, movie star to movie star, it
would be an easy thing for you to meet her anytime you want. You
don't need me to play middle man."

"I thought it might be less creepy if the
introduction came from a mutual friend. Someone we've both known
for a while."

For all his swagger and tough talk, Buster
was at heart a southern gentleman. He treated women with the utmost
respect. And considering some of the bums Karen had gotten involved
with Jack was more than happy to play his small part in their
potential romance.

Later that night, movie over, they were at
the after party and Jack was not having a good time. Normally he
didn't mind dressing in a tuxedo. But tonight the tie was close to
strangling him and his shoes pinched. His skin felt too tight on
his frame, almost as though something in the material of his suit
had caused it to shrink. He felt miserable and if he could believe
Karen he looked even worse. By ten, he was past ready to leave. The
only reason he was still there was because he was waiting until
Buster arrived. Wrangling a last minute invitation for an up and
coming movie star had been a breeze, so Jack thought tonight would
be the perfect opportunity to introduce his two friends.

"If you aren't going to leave at least stand
someplace else. You're frightening everyone."

"I thought that was the point. Big, bad
bodyguard equals look but don't touch."

"Do you want to tell me about her?" Karen
squeezed his arm, her eyes full of sympathy. I figured that she
would guess what his problem was, especially when the last thing he
wanted to do was talk about it.

Even so, Jack almost caved. Karen was a
friend and a woman. Maybe she would have some insight, some words
of wisdom to help relieve the growing frustration that of late had
become his constant companion. Jack was just about to start
spilling his guts when he saw Buster waving at him from across the
room. Just as well, Karen probably would have sided with Rose. And
wouldn't that have added to his pissed off attitude.

"I appreciate the offer, Karen." She didn't
look convinced. "I'll let you know if I change my mind. But right
now there's someone I'd like you to meet."

As it turned out, Buster didn't need Jack at
all. After a brief introduction, Karen and Buster drifted off as
though he wasn't even there. In fact, they didn't seem to be aware
that there was anyone else in the room. Jack watched for a
minute
; they look good together
, he
thought,
right.
Was that how he
looked when he was with Rose? Enthralled, besotted? A complete
goner?

Jack glanced at his watch. Ten-thirty, it
was a little late to fly home tonight. He'd be better off catching
a few hours sleep and then getting an early start in the morning.
He looked at his friends again. Buster was beaming and Karen was
staring up at him like he was the only man on earth. And that's
when he knew. He wasn't giving up. What he and Rose had was worth
fighting for. It might take some time and patience, but he was
going to do his damndest to make Rose believe it too.

"YOU'VE BEEN A very bad girl, Rose.

Those words, that voice. She used to hear
both in her nightmares. It had been a long time since her
subconscious had let Louise slip past the barriers Rose had
erected. Just the whisper of that voice used to bring back the
horrors associated with it, making her relive everything over and
over again. And then when she awoke it would all be fresh in her
mind, as though the time between the past and the present had been
days instead of years.

"I tried calling you but the number seems to
have been disconnected." Rose almost gagged at the sugary sweet
words. "Now why would you have done that?"

Rose could feel the familiar cold start
moving over her body. Her body was telling that even though she
couldn't run she
could
stop feeling.
But this time was different. She wouldn't let Louise win, not
again. Think of Jack, her mind cried. Jack is love. Love is warmth.
It was those thoughts that started to pull her back. She wasn't a
helpless child anymore. She knew how to fight.

For the first time, Rose looked at Louise,
really
looked at her. Over the
years, she had built the woman into a larger than life villain but
in reality she was a head shorter than Rose. In a fight she would
be able to snap her like a brittle twig. Feeling stronger, in
control, Rose pulled her shoulders back and looked her Louise
directly in the eye. It didn't matter why she was here; Rose was
done playing her victim.

"Go back to whatever hole you crawled out
of, Louise. There's nothing here for you."

Rose turned to let Edgar out and get them
both into the house, but Louise wasn't giving up that easily.

"I was thinking how nice it would be if I
moved to this quaint little town. Wouldn't it be wonderful if we
could see each other every day?"

"Cut the crap, Louise." Rose's voice was
strong and steady. "You don't want to live in Harper Falls. So tell
me what this is about. And make it quick, my patience is wearing
thin."

The surprise was obvious on Louise's face.
She obviously hadn't expected any opposition.

"Very well, if you insist on skipping the
niceties." Louise dragged out the last word. They both knew there
had never been
anything
nice between
them. "I'm a little down at the moment and since you wouldn't miss
it, I want one hundred thousand dollars."

The amount didn't stagger her, but the
woman's gall came close to doing so. Rose felt another burst of
energizing heat surge through her body, clearing her mind and
sharpening her vision. Louise
did
look frayed around the edges. Her clothing was a bit wrinkled, her
shoes more bargain basement that couture. It appeared her last
fiancé had seen the light before she could get him down the aisle.
If Rose had been meeting her for the first time, she might have
felt some sympathy for her. A woman alone, few options left. But
this was Louise. She was never alone for long and she always had a
plan. At the moment, that plan appeared to be hitting Rose up for a
hefty chunk of money.

"You do seem to need my help." Rose reached
into her purse and took out a pen and her checkbook. The light from
the nearby lamppost caught the satisfied, predatory gleam in
Louise's eyes. Using the hood of her car for stability Rose wrote
quickly, she just wanted to put any end to this farce. She ripped
the paper out and handed it to Louise.

"Now that wasn't so difficult, was it?"
Louise was delighted. It was the easiest money she'd ever made. She
was practically quivering with excitement as she looked down at her
salvation.

"What the hell is this?"

Rose imagined that three octave shriek must
have had the entire neighborhood looking out their windows.

"That is the name of a realtor in town who
handles apartment rentals. He should be able to recommend some
decent low-income housing, just until you get back on your
feet."

Rose opened the car door and attached
Edgar's lead. As always he was as delighted to get out as he had
been to get in. Not bothering to put her car in the garage Rose
headed for her front door. She walked by Louise without a glance.
She couldn't imagine that the woman would stay in Harper Falls, but
if she did Rose was finally past caring.

"I know where your father is."

She stopped, her head slumping forward. So
Louise had one final card to play. Up until that moment, Rose had
been proud of the way she'd handled things. She'd gone from icy
cold dread to hot indignation, and finally to an almost Zen-like
acceptance. But the bitch had finally done it, she'd unleashed
angry Rose. And Louise was not going to like her when she was
angry.