I'm Holding On (11 page)

Drew

M
y nose is deep in her delicious smelling hair. I pull back some, so I can speak.

“
I want all of you, Bryn. I want to sink so far into you and run my tongue along every single spot of your body, and I mean every—single—spot, but I won’t do it until you are all mine, and you will be soon.”

She looks up at me, but her eyes are barely open. I think she wore herself out from squirming underneath me. I have to smirk.

“What?”

“You’re worn out, sugar, and I think it’s from all the squirming you were doing.”

“I know that wasn’t easy for you.”

“
It was fantastic, and I now have more to fantasize about. Let me lie next to you.” She rolls onto her side, and I hold her while I get situated. I pull her bare back against my chest and cover us with a blanket from off the back of the couch.

“Drew, I don’t know if I should
sleep over.”

“I don’t want
you doing the same thing with him, but I can’t give you up tonight. Please stay like this with me,” I say against her neck.

She pulls my hand ti
ghter against her stomach.

“
I’ll stay.”

***

I shower and take Bryn
home around seven in the morning. I think we’re both in a state of shock that something is finally happening between us. I insist on waiting for her to get ready, so I can drive her to work.

“I’ll hurry,” she says
.

“We’re fine, Bryn. I made sure Mom and Dad were going to be there this morning.”

“I know, but I have a lot to do today, too.”

I sit on her couch and run my hands down my face. I keep reliving last night, and I’m so turned on. I’d like nothing more than to get in that shower with her.

“Bryn, stud boy number two had flowers delivered.”

I jump when I hear Andrea’s voice. She freezes with her hands up to one of her ears. It appears she’s putting in an earring but
drops it. “Drew, what are you doing here?” She scrambles to find it on the floor.

“I’m taking Bryn to work. She’s in the shower.”

“I’m sorry. I didn’t know you were here.”

“It’s OK. I guess you know the deal then.”

“Yes. She was pretty tore up Sunday night, and that was before she knew about you an Ian being friends. If it makes you feel better, I’m on your side one hundred percent.”

“Thanks. I appreciate it. I
have to get her away from him.”

Andrea seems
uncomfortable now.

“OK, um, I have to get to work. I’ll see you later.” She grabs a purse off the table and heads out the door. I shouldn’t look, but I can’t take it. I go over to the kitchen and see the flower arrangement on the counter.

There’s an envelope with a card inside. I’m torn about reading it. It’s wrong if I do, but the suspense is killing me. No, it’s wrong, and I want to do this the right way.

I want her to pick me because it’s truly what she wants, not because I was sneaky or manipulative.
I sit back down and wait for her. A few minutes later, she comes barreling into the room and heads for the kitchen.

“
I have to take some ibuprofen. My back is hurting.”

I frown. “I’m sorry. It’s probably from not sleeping in your bed.”

“No, it’s from being on my feet at work. I should probably take some with me, too. I have a big order to fill today.” I see her pause by the sink when she spots the flowers. I can tell she’s trying to decide if she should look in front of me.

“Yes, they’re for you, but
they’re not from me. Andrea blurted it out, not knowing I was here.”

I watch her take hold of the card. Her back
is to me, but I can tell she pulled it out of the envelope. She bursts into tears. Shit, what the hell did he say? I jump up and go to her. She buries her head against my chest and wraps her arms around my waist.

“What’d he say to hurt you?”

“He didn’t say anything bad. I don’t know why you’re thinking that again.”

“Y
ou cried after talking to him in front of the shop the other day, and you’re crying after reading his card. What am I supposed to think, especially when I know how he is with women?”

“He told me
how he was in the past, Drew. He’s been really honest about it.”

“
I don’t want to say a bunch of bad shit about him to win you over. I want you to pick me because it’s absolutely what you want, but I feel a need to tell you the bad shit, so you don’t get hurt by him.”

“
He told me he slept with women and then was done with them,” she says as she pulls back from me and wipes her eyes. “But I do believe he’s changed and feels differently about me.”

“Then w
hy are you crying?”

“
I thought maybe my decision was made up, but he said really sweet things in the card, and it reminded me of the time I’ve spent with him. I don’t want to give him up. We shouldn’t be talking about this, Drew. Let’s go.”

“
I can’t take hearing the intimate details, but I can hear the rest. You know why? Because we’re best friends. I won’t watch you cry and avoid comforting you because it’s about Ian.” She lays her head against my chest again.

“I won’t lie.
I highly entertained the idea that after last night and having you wake up in my arms that it was a done deal. I thought you might be mine.

“
But Andrea saying that guy number two bought you flowers, and after seeing your reaction, I’m back to reality and that’s OK. I’m not giving up. I won’t give up, and don’t ever think you can’t talk to me.”

“Thank you.
I really hate this. I would never date two people under normal circumstances, and I want this over as fast as everyone else.”

“I know that about you, Bryn. I know your character.” I kiss her forehead. “Let’s go to work, and I’ll help you later today
since I caused you to be late.”

Brynlee

Today is sucking royally. I woke up in Drew’s arms and honestly thought I was choosing him, but then I read Ian’s note and realized I wasn’t sure. I don’t doubt the awesome life I could have with Drew.

It’s the unknown w
ith Ian that I can’t let go of; the exciting life where he brings even more spontaneity to my world like he already has. I’m worried I’ll always play it safe with Drew, and I’m not entirely sure what that means.

The heat is definitely there between us, but I almost want
him to take what he wants from me, so I can see that same drive that Ian has. Am I expecting to have the perfect man? Am I holding on to two because combined they make the perfect one?

I’m swamped
today, but I need to thank Ian for the flowers, and I miss him, too, so I give him a call.

“Hi, Ian.”

“Hi, sweet girl. It’s nice to hear your voice.”

“Thanks for the flowers, but the card was extra special.”

“You’re welcome. Are you doing OK? You sound down.”

“I’m having a rough day. I’m really busy, but I wanted to thank you and hear your voice.
”

“Is there anything I can do
to help?”

“I’m sorry
but no. I’ll be at the shop until late this evening, and it’s not something you could help with. I know you’re not working, so I’m sorry I can’t see you more.”

“Don’t apologize. I still have plenty to do since I just got back in town.”

“Can we spend tomorrow evening together?” I ask.

“Absolutely. I’d like to show you where I live.”

“I’ll text you tonight then.”

“OK, Brynlee. I hope your day is better.”

“It already is now that I’ve talked to you.”

I end the call and sit on the floor against the wall. I cry and cry. This is ridiculous. I’m going to lose my busi
ness if I can’t keep it together. The door opens, so I hurry and wipe my eyes.

“Marissa, hi.” She saunters
over and sits down on the floor next to me, pulling her knees up like mine.

“Are you OK?” she asks.

“I will be eventually.”

“Is my brother being an ass?”

“No, he’s fine. You might be in trouble for telling me he watched the
Step Up
movie with you,” I say with a small laugh.

She gives a
smile. Marissa is going to break some hearts one day, but I pray she never has to break one this way.

“I’ll tell you
the name of another movie he’s watched the next time you two hang out. He won’t touch me since there’s so many secrets I could tell you.”

“Oh, really?
”

“Yes, really. I think he loves you.”

“You do, huh?”

“I’m pretty positive, and
Mom and Dad think so, too. I hope you get together. I’d really like to have you as a sister-in-law. Then when I’m older, we could really hang out like sisters. We could go shopping together, and I could tell you all my guy problems.

“
I’m sure I’m going to have them because I’ve decided guys are barbarians, and I read in a magazine that they only think with one body part, and it’s not their brain.”

I giggle. “Where do you come up with this stuff? Oh yeah, magazines.” I squeeze Marissa’s knee. “Thanks for cheering me up, girlfriend.”

She jumps to her feet. “You’re welcome, and thanks for the cookie.” She winks as she grabs one off a cooling rack.

The kitchen is
a revolving door at times. Out she goes and in comes Drew. “What’s wrong now?” he asks as he sits down on the floor next to me.

“This is too much for me to deal with. The guilt is eating me alive, Drew, and I need to get more work done.”

“Let me help you. I’ve done it before.”

“Why? To add to my guilt?”

“Stop. Did you listen to me this morning? I’m still your friend.”

“Yes, but you lost a life
long friend because of me.”

“It wasn’t because of you, Bryn.
If he was the friend I thought he was, he would’ve stepped aside once he found out it was you. He knew how much you meant to me.”

I can’t tell him what I’m thinking. If I pick Ian, he’s not going to want me to
spend time like this with Drew, but I can now, and maybe it’ll direct me to the answer.

“OK, you can help.”

Drew

Brynlee needs me, and I’ll happily help. I’ll keep reminding her why we’re made for each other, showing her that she can count on me no matter what.

“
I’m going to have to get a vehicle soon. I can’t keep using your business van to deliver my orders.”

“
You can use it whenever you need to. My parents told you that when they purchased it.”

It’s eight o’clock, and we just closed up. I help her load
the van with the boxes of desserts. If Brynlee wasn’t in my life, it would be torture smelling baked goods.

The definition
of
sweet
in the Webster dictionary: “pleasing to the taste, pleasing to the mind or feelings and is marked by gentle good humor or kindliness.” So, there you have it. Sweet equals Brynlee in the dictionary. Yes, pathetically I thought to look this up one day. I’m a sap where she’s concerned.

“That was the last box
, and I locked up the shop,” I say as I get in the driver’s seat.

“OK, thanks,” she says bef
ore yawning and leaning her head against the passenger window.

This woman is strong. Besides her
great-grandmother, she’s had no family to speak of since she was eleven. She single handedly sold a home and most of her possessions and moved Gram into a nursing home, all while trying to finish up college and start a business.

Gram
never transferred anything into Bryn’s name, so the home Bryn grew up in along with almost everything she owned had to be sold to pay for her great-grandmother’s care at the nursing home.

She’s
never had much money, so my family and I do everything we can to make her life a little easier. Being independent and proud, it’s hard to get her to accept help.

She supplies the shop with desserts in exchange for use of the kitchen, but what she doesn’t know is that not long after we got to know Bryn, my parents started putting half of the profits aside from the sa
le of the sweets to give to her when she’s ready to open her own place.

She draws in mor
e business for us overall, so they feel it’s fair, but I’m certain she wouldn’t agree. It’s bittersweet. I don’t want her to leave, but I want her dreams to come true.

Looking over as I drive to the restaurant, I see that she’s asleep. I hate that she can’t afford to hire help. This is becoming way too much for her.

I pull up at the delivery door behind the place and quietly get out. I’ve helped her deliver enough orders to know the drill, so I take everything in. I couldn’t bring myself to wake her. After I finish up, I drive to Brynlee’s apartment and go around to the passenger door.

“Bryn, baby, wake up.” I brush her hair away from her face. She sits straight up.

“Oh no. What’s wrong? Why are we here? I have to get the order to the restaurant.”

“It’s done. I took
care of it, so let me carry you in.”

“I can walk.”

“I know you can but humor me.” She doesn’t argue for a change, so I find her keys in her purse first. I think she’s physically and mentally exhausted from the last couple of weeks, and half of that is my fault, so I’m taking care of her.

I carry
her to her room and put her in bed. After slipping off her tennis shoes for her, she immediately rolls over, so I cover her up and kiss her on the head.

“Drew.” She doe
sn’t roll over as she speaks.

“Yes, sugar.”

“Thank you for everything.”

“You’re welcome. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

I can hardly take walking away, but she didn’t ask me to stay. Leaving her gets harder every day, especially since I’ve had the privilege of kissing, touching and holding her. I won’t let Ian take her from me. Never.