Imagined Love (11 page)

Tawny was a very cute girl but her body type was rather unusual. On top, she was slender and youthful. Her bottom half, on the other hand, was anything but. Her legs were long and skinny but her hips were really wide and her butt was humongous! Kids teased her mercilessly saying she was mixed matched and a host of other mean things. Tawny pretended it didn’t bother her but Jade could see how much it hurt her. To dull the pain, she dated and slept with three of the biggest jerks in their freshman year alone! So Jade didn’t know where Tawny got off trying to scold her about Alonzo. Admittedly, he was a jerk too but she happened to love him and believed wholeheartedly he would change if she just hung in there. Eventually Jade and Tawny came to the decision that in order to save their friendship, discussing their love lives was off limits.

Jade’s friendship with Dion came about in a very different way. She’d say hello to him sometimes in sixth period History class but they never actually talked until two months after the start of ninth grade. Like Tawny and every other freshman, Jade got teased every day. It was true that most people thought she was beautiful but there were quite a few who didn’t find her attractive at all. And they made sure to let her know it. Reggie, Luther, and Devontae were the three that gave her the most trouble.

“When did you leave the enterprise?” Reggie had asked the first week of school.

“What?” Jade frowned.

“You from Star Trek, right? Those stupid eyes of yours must be alien! Human beings don’t have ugly eyes like that.”

Every day one of the three would announce that “the alien” was there or “stupid eyes” had arrived. Jade thought they would eventually grow tired of saying it, but for two months straight it was all she heard in class or in the hallway when they ran into her after lunch. And when they weren’t verbally saying it, one of them would place a note on Jade’s desk with alien written all over it.

“Hey, alien, do everything you see look stupid through your stupid eyes?” Luther asked to the amusement of the class.

Jade was at her wits end and was on the verge of tears when Dion stood up to her torturers and told them to shut the hell up . . . among other things! To say everyone was shocked would’ve been putting it mildly. Dion wasn’t exactly what anyone would consider tough. Tall and skinny, he didn’t look strong enough to withstand a stiff breeze. So taking on a husky fellow like Luther, not to mention his two sidekicks, seemed suicidal! However, Dion stood his ground and demanded they leave Jade alone.

“Alright, dude, damn! We was just playing with her,” Reggie said, still shocked by Dion’s outburst.

Jade was surprised as well but very grateful. After class she thanked him and asked if he wanted to join her for lunch the next day. Then she asked for Dion’s number and promised to call him that evening. They stayed on the phone for hours talking and laughing about everything. Dion was hilarious. He made Jade laugh so hard that her stomach hurt by the time they finally hung up from one another. And that was the start to a really great friendship. Every day after History class Jade would call Dion her warrior for what he’d done to stop Reggie and his goons from bothering her. It was a few weeks later when she found out Alonzo had promised them bodily harm if they even looked at Jade let alone teased her!

Unfortunately Jade’s relationship with Katrina began to go downhill. They argued more and seemed to get on each other’s nerves a lot easier than before. Jade always tried to include her oldest friend in whatever she was doing with her newest friends. However, Katrina made new friends and excluded Jade from whatever they had planned. That had more to do with the type of things they were doing. Tawny and Dion were happy going to the movies, to the mall, or just hanging around the house whereas Katrina wanted to go to parties, get drunk, and have sex! She didn’t have time for Jade and her square friends. That was, of course, until she needed a ride or money or an excuse to tell Cicely—then it was Jade to the rescue. It was something Dion, Tawny, and even her sister Jewel brought to her attention quite a bit, but Jade still loved Katrina and didn’t want to give up on their friendship.

Besides, Jewel was in no position to talk. As far as Jade was concerned, her sister was no better than Katrina. In fact, she was worse! Jewel may have fooled their father with her sweet little girl act but Jade knew who she really was. She drank routinely, smoked weed on occasion, and even had a pregnancy scare with no idea which guy was responsible! Even still, Jewel had the nerve to put her finger in Jade’s face and call her a fool for putting up with Katrina, Alonzo, and their mother too! Jade slapped her sister’s hand away and told her to get out. They didn’t speak for weeks after that. And if it hadn’t been for Miles constantly

reminding them it was Christmastime and that they needed to get over whatever they were mad about, Jade would have let it stay that way forever. As it stood, she was cordial to Jewel and only spent time with her when she was forced to do so.

One afternoon in March of 1986, Jade danced at a lunch hour sock hop with Dion and Tawny and the crowd went nuts! No one had any idea just how good of a dancer Jade was and they cheered her on until it was time to return to class. Katrina had seen her dance before but never like that. After school she talked to her about forming a group. There was a talent show scheduled for the Friday before spring break and Katrina wanted to enter it.

“Yeah, Jade, we should do it,” Tawny interjected.

“Uh, who is we?” Katrina frowned at the girl.

“The three of us,” she said, pointing to Katrina, Jade, and herself. “I love to dance and my parents’ friends own a t-shirt shop so we could get some really cool shirts made special for us. All we have to do is choose a name for our group and the colors we want and they’ll make them for us for free. Ooh, I’m so excited! I always wanted to be in a dance group. Come on, Jade, let’s do it, girl. With you leading the group I know we’ll win! I didn’t know you had moves like that. Shoot, I’m not into girls but I felt a little aroused watching you!” Tawny laughed. “And I’m starting to think you lying about being a virgin. Don’t nobody who ain’t never had none move like that! So admit it. Alonzo hit it, didn’t he?”

“Uh, first of all, learn how to keep a secret because I really could’ve done without that whole arousal statement. And secondly, no, Alonzo didn’t hit it! Nothing’s been disturbed down there.”

Katrina just shook her head. She still didn’t understand how Jade could resist the urge to do it, especially with Alonzo throwing himself on her all the time. Instead of talking about it for the umpteenth time, she decided to bring the conversation back to the dance group idea. If it hadn’t been for Tawny’s connection with the t-shirt shop Katrina would have told her no. She didn’t think the girl danced that great, for one thing. And she also didn’t find Tawny that attractive. However, she was an asset to the group and Katrina figured she’d just have to be creative with the choreography and keep Tawny in the back as much as possible. She’d also have to be imaginative with their outfits to hide the girl’s misshapen body. Ugh, Katrina thought as she huffed and rolled her eyes.

By that time Dion had introduced Jade and her friends to his posse. Winston Carey, Shawn Matthews, and Jury Michaels had been his best friends since fifth grade. It wasn’t until freshman year, when having a group name became cool, that they started calling themselves the Witty Wock Crew. Jury said it as a joke one day and it just stuck. Pretty soon kids all over the school were yelling out the name and

throwing up the symbol Dion swore he’d made up. He used his thumbs and forefingers to form a W like people had been doing for years to say “whatever”.

Whenever asked what the Witty Wock Crew was, they always answered by saying they were acceptable misfits, an oxymoron if there ever was one. However, guys seemed to get onboard with the idea that they didn’t have to be the coolest or the cutest or the most athletic to belong to something. The Witty Wock Crew made it cool to be yourself. And before long kids were begging to be in their group, including Jade, Katrina, and Tawny!

“Uh, just in case you hadn’t noticed, this is a boys’ group,” Shawn said after Jade asked him for an “application”. “Besides, you kinda ruin our image. We’re supposed to be misfits and outcasts of society. Then here you come all beautiful and perfect trying to mess up everything,” he laughed.

Jade actually blushed. She was flattered that Shawn saw her that way. Before she could respond, however, Alonzo stepped in.

“What you say, dude? I know you don’t call yourself trying to flirt with my girlfriend, do you?” he asked, right in Shawn’s face.

“Alonzo, stop! He’s just my friend!”

“Yeah, he better be,” Alonzo scowled at the guy. Then he led Jade away by the hand. “What?”

She couldn’t believe the gall of that dude! Alonzo messed around with almost every girl he came in contact with but he had the nerve to act possessive over her. When Jade pointed out that fact to him, he just smiled at her.

“It’s your fault I have to mess around with other girls. You won’t give it to me so I have to get it from somewhere.”

“Yeah right, so you’re saying you’d be a one guy, one girl type of dude if I had sex with you?”

“Don’t make it sound so unromantic, Jade,” Alonzo smiled before planting a kiss on her neck. “If you let me make love to you then I might consider that one girl thing you said. But if you keep being stingy then I have no choice but to keep going to the ones who like to share with me. So the ball is in your court, sweetheart. Just make sure you tell your friends to step off before somebody gets hurt!”

“Oh, so you can have friends but I can’t?” Jade frowned. “Nah, I don’t think that’s gonna work for me. As a matter of fact, I think I’ll do what you do. You seem to enjoy it, so why not?”

“No, you don’t do what I do! I’m not playing with you, girl,” he said when she started laughing. “I’m serious, Jade. I would go crazy if some other dude had his hands on . . . ooh, I don’t even wanna think about it! Promise me I’ll be your first and only.”

The first lunch hour was over and Jade had to get to class. She started walking away from Alonzo despite his demands to hear her promise he’d be the only one she made love to.

“Jade,” he called then pulled her back towards him. “Say it.”

“I’ll have to think about it,” she smiled then left for class.

“Jade . . . hey, girl, quit playing. Jade!” Alonzo smirked. “Ooh,” he mumbled to himself. “I can’t wait to get some of that.”

Alonzo could barely concentrate in his afternoon classes because all he could think about was making love to Jade. He’d always been attracted to her, even as a little girl, but as of late it had become unbearable. Alonzo wanted her bad and he knew just the person to help him get her—his mother! All he had to do was keep convincing Cicely how much he loved Jade and was planning to be with her and she’d do the rest. His mother had a way of getting the girl to do whatever she wanted and Alonzo planned to use that ability to his advantage. What he didn’t realize was that Cicely was proud of the fact that Jade was a virgin and she did everything she could to encourage her to stay that way until marriage!

Jade, Tawny, and Katrina decided on Triple Threat as the name for their group and they brought the house down at the talent show! After that night they were asked to perform at house parties, during half time at homecoming, and they even got to dance at one of the fairs out in Miller. Katrina and Tawny loved the attention they got from being members of Triple Threat but were not unaffected by people’s comments that Jade was the only real dancer in the group. And it wasn’t even that they were bad, it was just that she was so much better and audiences’ eyes went to and stayed on her. After every performance someone made sure to tease Katrina and Tawny by saying they might as well had not even been on stage when Jade was there!

It was a situation only made worse after they danced in the talent show their sophomore year and Jade got asked to perform without them. Jury’s older brother Julius was the leader of The Sigma Steppers and after he saw Jade dance he begged her to join them in one of their competitions. They were a college step team, not affiliated with a fraternity, but mimicked one in the way they performed. Julius thought Jade would be their ace in the hole because she was beautiful and sexy but also an incredibly strong dancer. He knew she would pick up the steps and help push their team on to victory.

Even though it was Easter Sunday, Julius and the other Sigma Steppers came to Jade’s house to practice in her basement. They normally practiced on campus at Indiana University Northwest but Willa wasn’t willing to let her beautiful teenage daughter be alone with twelve college boys. Over the eight weeks they practiced, however, she grew to really like and trust the guys and allowed them to take Jade to a few of their on-campus rehearsals. Miles, Katrina, Tawny, and Alonzo all had major issues with that setup and each expressed their disapproval in different ways.

From a father’s point of view, Miles didn’t think it was appropriate for a fifteen-year-old girl to be associated with twenty-something-year old men. Though it seemed less about Jade’s safety and more about what it looked like.

“I don’t want people thinking my daughter’s a whore!” Miles screamed once he got wind of what was going on. “And why you letting her do all this mess anyway, Willa? She need to be focused on her school work instead of doing all this other junk! One day she cheerleading, the next day she dancing at some fair, and now you got her out there performing with a bunch of grown men! That don’t look good, Willa. You need to rein Jade in and stop letting her do whatever she want. Maybe she need to be back with me where there’s some discipline and structure. You just let her run wild!”

“What the hell are you talking about, Miles? Jade is not wild! If anything, she needs to loosen up some and stop being so damn mature all the time. She’s young and beautiful and should be out there having fun. Shoot, Jade is way more tame than I ever was or am now! So I’m not gonna let you take from her the little bit of fun she does have. There’s nothing wrong with her cheerleading or dancing or even having a little boyfriend. Granted I wish she would get rid of that jackass she’s currently carrying a torch for, but overall she’s a good girl. Jade’s been on the honor roll every semester since seventh grade. And she doesn’t drink or smoke or sleep around like your other daughter so I think you should cut her some slack.”

Miles seemed genuinely stunned by Willa’s reference to Jewel and an argument quickly ensued. Jade had been listening from the basement and the next thing she knew they were yelling about a bunch of other stuff that had nothing to do with what they were originally talking about. She didn’t really care, though. As long as Jade didn’t have to move back with her father she was fine. She did hope their fight would put an end to Miles’s late night visits. Jade was tired of seeing him tiptoe out of Willa’s bedroom early some mornings as if he really thought she didn’t know what was going on. She didn’t understand it, but she was fully aware of it. As much as she believed her parents didn’t belong with one another, Jade was at the point where she just wished they would make up their minds to either be together or not. All the back and forth was confusing and quite annoying.

Miles divorced Anna and had a few relationships since then as did Willa. Though, the reason they kept getting dumped by other people was because they couldn’t leave each other alone! It was ridiculous and Jade was sick of dealing with it. Yet, through it all, there was one thing always abundantly clear. Miles and Willa loved one another way more than they loved her! And because of that, Jade grew more distant from both of them.

For weeks Jade had noticed an attitude change in both Tawny and Katrina and decided to talk to them about it over lunch.

“So what’s going on? I keep hearing the snide little remarks and sarcastic comments y’all make under your breath and I’m wondering what that’s about.”

“You know what it’s about,” Katrina snapped from across the table. Don’t try to play innocent.”

“Come on, Jade, for real,” Tawny interjected, as she sat next to Katrina with her arms folded across her chest. “I thought we were a group. How could you do this Sigma Steppers thing without us?”

Jade just stared at her for a moment then looked to Katrina for confirmation that she was upset about the same thing.

“Well?” Tawny huffed. “What do you have to say?”

“What I have to say is that y’all are two of the most selfish bitches I ever met in my life and I hate you!”

Not at all expecting that response, Katrina and Tawny stared at Jade with wide eyes and opened mouths.

“It’s funny how you didn’t think about the group after that performance in Miller when Ms. Etta thought you were the perfect model for her fashion show and only asked you to be in it, Katrina! And did I get mad or try to make you feel like you betrayed Triple Threat? No, I didn’t! I was the one who risked getting in trouble for driving with just a permit so you could have a ride to each and every one of the rehearsals. I was the one who spent my allowance buying the shoes you needed so you wouldn’t be embarrassed up there on stage. And it was me and only me that sat in the audience cheering you on and presented you with flowers afterwards because I was proud of you!

And you,” Jade snapped, as she turned her attention to Tawny. “When you got chosen to represent our school on the debate team did I act funny or treat you all stank because I didn’t make it? No, I did not! I stayed up late practicing with you when I should’ve been doing my own damn homework! And I was right there with your parents rooting for you and bragging on you when y’all won. And now it’s my turn,” Jade began to cry, “and instead of being my friends and supporting me like I did you, y’all treat me like crap! Both of you can go to hell for all I care,” she spat then flung her tray across the table at them before leaving the cafeteria.

The yelling got everyone’s attention and all eyes were on Tawny and Katrina as they both sat there feeling like the world’s biggest idiots!

“Damn,” Katrina muttered, as she blinked repeatedly trying to keep tears from falling down her cheek.

Tawny grabbed some napkins to wipe away her tears. Then she used them to try to clean the juice that splashed on her shirt when Jade hurled her tray at them. The girls got up to go looking for their friend who they’d hurt very much. More than anything they wanted to get away from the criticism being heaped upon them from the cafeteria full of onlookers.

After witnessing the entire thing, Dion followed Jade to the top of the gymnasium bleachers where she cried on his shoulder. He just listened and kept his opinion of both girls to himself. It was obvious how much he’d hated Katrina from the moment they met. And although Dion liked Tawny at first, he quickly soured on her the more time they spent around each other. He didn’t think either of them was a true friend and often wished Jade could see them for what they really were and not what she wanted them to be. Dion had similar feelings when it came to Alonzo but learned the hard way to keep his mouth shut when it came to that dude.

Jade kissed Dion’s cheek and thanked him for listening then went to the bathroom to clean her face before lunch hour ended. Only then did she realize how

hungry she was. Yet, that was nothing new since her appetite had picked up tremendously. Even as a kid Jade was a good eater but it seemed as if in the last few years she was always starving! Her constant eating soon became something everyone joked about but she didn’t really care. As long as she got to eat, everything was fine.

Tawny and Katrina had slipped apology letters in Jade’s locker and it made her feel better to know they were sorry. She was smiling on her way to seventh period when her heart nearly stopped from shock! Alonzo had his hands on Angela Willis’s waist and stood inches away from her lips in front of his locker. Not only was Jade enraged but she felt stupid for standing there in his basketball jersey while he got it on with yet another girl! She didn’t say a word, though. Jade removed the jersey and threw it in his face.

“Hey, girl, come here. Where you going?” Alonzo asked, as he grabbed Jade’s arm and pulled her in front of him.

“Get your hands off me!” she sneered, jerking away from his grasp. “Just go back to your girlfriend and leave me alone!”

“You are my girlfriend. So put this jersey back on and quit acting crazy. You know this stupid girl don’t mean anything to me. Think about it, Jade. It’s not like this was an accident. I know your schedule and route better than you do. I just didn’t know what else to do to get your attention.”

Angela threw a pencil at Alonzo then stormed off. She was embarrassed by the kids pointing and laughing at her.

“Oh, well, here’s an idea. How about just talking to me or spending time with me like a normal boyfriend.”

“And when exactly are we supposed to be spending all this time together, Jade? You always running off to be with your little college boyfriend! I’m not stupid, Jade. I know there’s another reason you’re always around him.”

“And what reason is that?”

“You tell me. I know those college boys be all over you!”

“It’s not even like that, Alonzo. They don’t pay me any attention except to fuss at me for getting the steps wrong. All any of them care about is winning this competition.”

“You’re either the most naïve girl in the world or you think I’m stupid. Those dudes wanna bang you, especially that Julius or Julian or whatever his name is. Maybe the reason you keep going to the rehearsals without me is because you want him to.”

“The reason I keep going to the rehearsals without you is because you’re too busy to come, remember? But never mind that. Did you do that mess with Angela because you’re jealous? And what was having some girl pushed up against the locker supposed to accomplish? You think looking stupid turns me on?”

“No, but at least when you get mad it shows you give a damn about me. It makes me feel like you care.”

“Yeah, because all the sweet things I do to show you I care are just idiotic, right? They don’t mean anything, huh?”

“Jade . . . baby, I’m sorry, okay? I’m crazy over you and I hate those college boys looking at you like a piece of meat.”

“You mean like you do?”

“That’s different,” Alonzo said then kissed her neck. “I’m sorry, okay? Now put this back on before we’re both late for class.”

Jade took the jersey but didn’t put it on. Alonzo gave her a quick peck on the lips as they took off running in opposite directions to beat the last bell.

“Put it on,” he yelled after her.

When she was supposed to be listening to her teacher Jade was thinking about Alonzo. She kept telling herself to put the jersey back on but she couldn’t bring herself to do it. He had humiliated her again despite what the reason for it was and the thought of putting it back on made her feel like a fool.

There were definitely two sides to Alonzo. There was the loving, funny, and affectionate one that he was when it was just the two of them. They laughed, talked, and played together for hours like a real couple. It was then that Jade felt like Alonzo genuinely cared for her. It was him that she loved. Then there was the other side, the Zo Man, the jerk that Jade’s family and friends saw and warned her about. He was the one who humiliated her. He was the one she hated. Yet somewhere in Jade’s mind she convinced herself that the Zo Man was just a part of him that he’d outgrow and the sweet Alonzo she saw at times was who he really was. Unfortunately, it wouldn’t be long before Jade’s confusion over which side was the real Alonzo was made clear.

On Memorial Day, May 25, 1987, hundreds of people cheered as their favorite step teams took the stage. Jade had her own little cheering section and they went crazy when she performed. The crowd was on its feet screaming when she showed up those twelve boys! It was one of the most exhilarating things she’d ever done. Actually winning the competition made it that much better.

After the trophy presentation and pictures, Julius invited Jade and her friends to join them at a party. Katrina and Tawny were all set to go but Alonzo wanted to be alone with his girlfriend. It came as no shock when she chose to be with him. He rode with Willa and Jade back to their house where the two of them spent hours hanging out in the basement having a ball together.

On Friday, May 29th at a little after five in the evening, Katrina called Jade urging her to come over right away. She begged her friend to just trust her and come immediately. Jade parked around the corner like Katrina instructed and the

two of them ran until Jade finally saw what was the big emergency. Alonzo was dressed in a tux and had another girl on his arm taking pictures!

His eyes grew wide and heart started pounding a mile a minute when Jade came charging towards him. “Baby, it’s not what you think. Just let me explain.”

“Oh, well that’s good because it looks like my boyfriend is about to go to the prom with someone else. But I’m so happy it’s not what I think,” she sneered then turned to walk away.

“Jade, wait,” Alonzo said, as he grabbed her arm. “Just let me . . .”

She hauled off and slapped him! “Get your hands off me! I hate you and I never wanna see you again! I’m sick of you making a fool out of me, you stupid bastard! All I ever did was love you and be there for you through everything and this is what you do to me! I hate you,” Jade screamed and punched Alonzo in his chest before she walked away.