Imagined Love (24 page)

“I’ve got everything under control so go and enjoy each other. I’ll call you if I need you,” Landon said, holding up the walkie talkie. “Go ahead,” he urged when Jade frowned at him.

After everything they’d talked about last week Jade didn’t understand why Landon was pushing her to be with Reese. Nonetheless, she went with him to the lobby of the hotel where they talked for thirty minutes.

“Can I see you tomorrow?” Reese asked. “Listen, I’m not trying to cause problems in your life but there’s something about you that I just can’t let go of. I felt it the moment I saw you, Jade, and it’s only getting worse. You’re completely out of my league, but I still think you’re the one for me,” he admitted. “I’m totally out of line for saying this but I’m better for you than Levi. And the worst part is that I think you know it too. So why are you willing to be miserable with him when you could be happy with me? Please, just give me a chance. I might not be able to buy you the whole world but I’ll love you with every ounce of these three hundred and twenty-seven pounds,” Reese smiled, as he rubbed his round belly. “Shoot, I’ll get in the gym and . . .”

“You don’t have to change who you are for me, Reese. I like you the way you are. It’s just that . . .”

All of a sudden Landon’s voice came through the walkie talkie asking Jade to come to the cake table.

“I know you have to go but take this, okay? Feel free to use it any time . . . any time. I’ll be here whenever you’re ready.”

It was Reese’s business card from Pepsi with his home number written on the back. She smiled at him then ran off to help Landon. Jade thought it would’ve been best to toss it to avoid any temptation, but what she felt in her heart made her put the card in her pocket.

The next evening Jade received a phone call that sent her and Landon rushing over to Mr. and Mrs. Phillips’s home. When they arrived there was an ambulance parked in the driveway. The two of them bolted through the open door and found Mrs. Phillips crumpled on the hallway floor sobbing. It was only when they reached for her that Landon and Jade got a glimpse of Mr. Phillips. He was barely recognizable! He lay in a hospital bed in the living room with an I.V. attached to his arm which looked like nothing but a bone! Mr. Phillips, who’d always been fit and lean, looked like a skeleton and the sight of him took Jade’s breath.

“Hey, kids,” he whispered once the paramedics moved aside. “How y’all doing?”

“Hey there, California Dad,” Jade said, as she took a seat beside his bed. She fought to keep tears from falling down her face. “It’s good to see you,” she said, grabbing his hand. “I missed you.”

“I missed you too, baby girl. I just haven’t been feeling my best lately. This old cancer been doing a number on me. Doctors say it’s in my stomach and they can’t operate. And I didn’t want Gerry worrying you kids with all this stuff,” he smiled and squeezed Jade’s hand. “But you know me, I’m a fighter. I’m gone beat this thing, you hear?”

“Of course you are. I mean, who else is gonna object at my wedding?” Jade tried hard to smile.

For the first time in months Mr. Phillips laughed—really laughed and the sound made Mrs. Phillips stop crying and get up from the floor. Landon, who’d been holding her, got up as well.

“If anybody could make him laugh it’s you, baby,” she said, squeezing Jade’s shoulder with one hand and her husband’s hand with the other. “He needed that, sweetie.”

Landon took Jade’s place beside the bed while she and Mrs. Phillips went upstairs to talk. That laugh seemed to take what little energy Mr. Phillips had and he dozed off. Landon couldn’t stop the tears pouring down his face as he stared at him. Mr. Phillips was the closest thing he had to a father and it broke his heart to see him like that. Landon held his bony hand and silently prayed for a miracle.

Unfortunately there would be no miracle. Upstairs Mrs. Phillips explained that the ambulance was there to transport her husband to a local hospice.

“Well, when he gets back home I can come here and . . .”

“He’s not coming back home, baby. Rock’s not gonna get better,” Mrs. Phillips said more to herself than Jade. Then she began to cry again.

Jade just held her as she cried too. A short while later Jade went back downstairs to say goodbye to the man she’d loved like a father.

“Don’t be sad, baby girl,” Mr. Phillips said when he looked at Jade’s swollen eyes. “This is just a part of life we all gone face one day. And I’ve had a really good life, baby, and I’m not sad about anything. So don’t you be, hear? Just promise me you’re gonna go out and live the best life you can,” he paused to catch his breath. “Life is too short, baby girl, and I don’t want you to waste any more of it on someone who doesn’t deserve you. The right guy is out there and I promise to send him your way. You’re a smart and beautiful woman with a big heart and you deserve the best this world has to offer,” Mr. Phillips cried, as he gently stroked Jade’s cheek. “I love you, my daughter. My life was made better the day you walked into it. Always remember that, okay?”

“Okay,” she cried and kissed his hand. “I love you too. And I hope you know just how much you mean to me. Thank you for everything, Dad.” Jade kissed Mr. Phillips’s forehead after he drifted off to sleep. She took one last look at him knowing she’d spent their last moments together.

It was almost ten o’clock that night when Jade awoke. Once she got home from Mr. Phillips’s house, she crawled into bed and cried herself to sleep. It seemed unreal that he was dying and she couldn’t bear the heartache.

Jade wrapped up in a blanket on the couch and called Levi to let him know what was going on. She knew he was probably asleep and would be aggravated to be awakened, but she hoped his irritation would subside once he heard about Mr. Phillips. It didn’t.

“That’s the old guy you used to work for, right? Yeah, I remember going over there for dinner once.”

“That old guy is like a father to me and Landon,” Jade snapped, irritated by his insensitivity.

“I’m sorry, baby, I know you’re upset. Maybe we can talk more tomorrow, okay? I need to go back to sleep so I can get up for work in the morning. I can try to call you before I go if . . .”

“Don’t bother,” Jade shouted before slamming down the phone.

That was the final straw as far as she was concerned. Jade composed herself and a few minutes later she dialed a different number.

“Hello?”

“Hey, Reese, it’s Jade. I’m sorry to call so late but I was hoping you had time to talk.”

Mr. Young Phillips passed away early Monday morning and his memorial service was on Friday, October 14, 1994. Landon and Jade handled all of the arrangements and did everything they could to make things easier for Mrs. Phillips. They helped her pack up and clean the house to prepare it to be sold. The thought of living there without her Rock was unbearable and she planned to move to Cleveland with her mother and younger sisters after the service. As he’d promised Mr. Phillips, Landon took care of all the legal aspects so Mrs. Phillips didn’t have to worry about any of it. She thanked Landon profusely and told him he would always have a special place in her heart for being the son she’d always dreamed of having. Mrs. Phillips said something similar to Jade and hugged them one last time before boarding the plane.

With heavy hearts, Landon and Jade drove home in silence. They both were physically and emotionally drained and needed to rest. As soon as Jade got home, she tossed the mail on her living room table and climbed into bed. She immediately fell asleep having no idea of the drama with which she’d soon be forced to deal.

Sunday morning, after enjoying a hearty breakfast, Jade listened to her messages and went through the mail that had accumulated over the past week. Most of the voicemails were from Levi apologizing for not listening when she called to talk about Mr. Phillips. He’d called repeatedly the night before saying he was in town and wondering where she was.

One of the messages was from Reese offering to take Jade out to help get her mind off things. He thought going horseback riding would do the trick and asked her to call if she was interested. Jade called him back and they made plans to spend the afternoon together. She was about to shower and get ready when someone knocked on the door.

“What are you doing here?”

“Well hello to you too,” Levi snorted. “What kind of greeting is that, especially after I’ve been calling and coming by for days trying to find you? I was worried about you and wanted to make sure you’re okay. So why didn’t you call me back, Jade? Are you still mad at me?”

“I was busy, Levi. I had a funeral to plan.”

“What? He died? Aw, baby, I’m sorry. Why didn’t you tell me?”

“Why would I, Levi? You couldn’t be bothered when I tried to talk to you at first so why would I waste my time trying to talk to you again? You made it clear you don’t care so I leaned on the people who do. All of my friends, old and new were there for me so don’t worry about it. I’ll be fine.”

“So you’ve got new friends now, Jade?”

“Yep,” she said then grabbed the stack of mail from her living room table. She began to sort through it. “You know what they say, out with the old, in with the new.”

“See, I knew it! You haven’t been faithful to me! I bet you been cheating this whole time!”

Levi went on ranting but Jade had tuned him out. A letter from that stack of mail got her attention and she ripped it open. It took a few moments to comprehend what she was looking at then she flipped from the photocopied page to read the two paragraphs written on Hello Kitty stationery.

“Look at me when I’m talking to you,” he demanded and tried to snatch the papers from Jade’s hands.

She hauled off and slapped Levi so hard that it knocked him off balance and he almost fell. Before he could recuperate Jade slapped him again and then again! “I can not believe you had the audacity to question me and accuse me of cheating when you’ve had a secret this whole time,” Jade said, as she held the photocopied document right in front of his face. “I could kill you, you stupid son of a bitch!”

Levi was seconds away from hitting her back when he made out what Jade was holding in front of him. His eyes grew wide as saucers and he began to sweat. “Just let me explain, baby. It’s not what you think.”

“Oh really, so this isn’t a copy of your marriage certificate?”

“Yeah, but . . .”

“So then it is what I think! And according to this nice little letter here, you not only failed to mention having a wife, but a fifteen-month-old son too! So I’m pretty sure you shouldn’t have proposed,” Jade sneered, desperately wanting to hit him again. “I hate you, Levi! I really do. But I guess this is what I get for not following my instincts or listening to every single person in my life that knew you weren’t the one for me. Even on his death bed Mr. Phillips told me to get rid of you. I wish I had listened to him from the beginning.”

“You don’t mean that, Jade. You’re just mad at me. And I don’t blame you, but I haven’t been with Shannon since the baby was born and . . .”

“You can’t honestly think that matters. You’re married, Levi! You were married when I met you at Jimmy’s and when I spent months writing to you and when I humiliated myself buying my own damn engagement ring! So I don’t wanna hear about you being separated or how much you love me or any of that bullshit! You’re married to another woman with another child,” Jade said, still in disbelief.

“Baby, can I just tell you the whole truth?”

“I don’t care, Levi. If you’ll recall when you first got here I told you I didn’t want you in my life anymore. What we had was done before I even got this letter so there’s really no point. Anything you say would only fuel the rage I feel for

letting you make a fool out of me! So it would be in your best interest to get the hell out of my apartment and never come back! Don’t ever contact me again!”

“Jade, I love you and I never meant to hurt or make a fool out of you. I swear I’ve been trying to divorce Shannon but she wants too much! I . . .”

“Save your breath, Levi. Nothing you have to say matters because I don’t love you! I honestly don’t think I ever loved you. I fell in love with the man you pretended to be in your letters. I fell in love with the man I wanted you to be. I wanted so much to believe he was real that I put up with your jealousy, your ex, your daughter, and that whack ass sex trying to get to him. But it was all a big waste of time. It’s over now, though, so leave and don’t ever come back. Oh shoot,” Jade shrieked when she flung the door open for Levi to leave and found Reese standing there just about to knock.

She invited him in and giggled when he had to stoop in order to walk through the doorway. Levi was seething when Jade gave a brief explanation of what had happened between them and asked for the giant’s assistance in getting the “liar and cheat” and out of her apartment. He was still pleading for the chance to talk to her when Jade left to get ready for her day out. Levi sat in his car waiting for Jade to come outside. His heart broke into a million pieces when she hopped into Reese’s truck and rode away. Levi hit the steering wheel until his knuckles bruised. Then he broke down crying harder than he had in his entire life.

The first few times Reese and Jade were together she did more crying than anything. Losing Mr. Phillips was heartbreaking and so was finding out the truth about Levi. She tried to pretend it didn’t affect her since she had already planned to end the relationship, but it still hurt. Reese was so patient, though. He encouraged her to talk, cry, scream, or whatever she needed to do in order to be okay. By their third dinner together Jade was more herself. She listened to Reese talk about his life, his last girlfriend, and how close he was to his family. It was quite clear that his older brother Martin was his absolute favorite person in the world. He respected and admired him and said that’s who he wanted to be when he grew up. Reese was also close to his parents. The fact that they had been happily married for thirty-four years meant a lot to him and he aspired to have that for himself one day.

“My family really wants to meet you, Jade. I’ve been talking about you nonstop since we met at Lisa’s shower. But I don’t wanna make you feel pressured because I know you’re dealing with a lot right now. So instead of a dinner at my parents’ where they’d be all up in your business, I thought it would be cool if you came to my birthday party. You can come help me turn twenty-eight,” he smiled.

“When is your birthday?”

“It’s November 3rd but my party is Saturday the fifth. Oh no, what’s wrong?” Reese asked in response to the face she made.

“We have an evening wedding on the fifth so the reception will run late. And it’s three hundred guests so Landon and I will be hopping the whole day to get ready for it. I’m really sorry, Reese. I would’ve loved to come meet your family and celebrate with you. You’re such a sweetheart and I wish I could be there for you the way you’ve been here for me these past few weeks. You’ve been a great friend,” Jade said, as she smiled at him and squeezed his hand. “I know it’s not the same but maybe I can do something special with you on your actual birthday . . . whatever you want.”

“Really?” Reese asked with a wicked grin on his face.

“Let me rephrase that. We can do anything within reason,” Jade laughed.

“Yeah, I know. We’re just friends, right?”

“Aw, don’t say it like that. The best romances are born from great friendships. So what would you like for your special day? You can come here and I’ll cook a nice dinner for you. Or I can come to Oakland and serve you at your place. Or we can go to your favorite restaurant or whatever you want.”

“Let me think about it and I’ll get back to you. Right now I need to get on the road so I don’t get caught up in rush hour traffic. Thanks for letting me come by to hang out. I always have a good time with you,” Reese said, as she walked him to the door. “I do have one request for you. Since we’re just friends I was wondering if you could stop wearing whatever perfume this is you have on. That stuff drives me crazy!” he admitted. “And I’ll stop wearing this cologne because I can see it’s got you all riled up. I be forgetting to rein all this sexiness in.”

Jade laughed so hard her stomach began to cramp. Reese always had her giggling about something but that was hilarious.

“Uh, I don’t know if my ego can take this, Jade. I didn’t think it would be that funny,” he chuckled when she kept laughing.

She finally stood up straight and was about to hug Reese when he kissed her. Jade knew she should have stopped him but his warm hands caressing her face and his soft lips felt so good that she didn’t want to. Reese held her close and for a few minutes she kissed him back. When his hands began to wander, however, Jade stopped. The kiss was nice but it was all she could handle for the time being.

“Call me when you get home, okay?”

“Okay,” he said then left her apartment.

Reese seemed excited when he and Jade spoke on the phone the day before his birthday. He had decided to have her prepare a home cooked meal and they planned for him to come at six o’clock. Before they hung up that night Reese made a joke about what he was hoping to get for dessert. Jade knew he wasn’t joking and reminded him again that they were just friends. That hadn’t changed in her mind

even though they’d shared the one kiss. Reese seemed annoyed by her comment but blew it off and said he would see her the next day.

At seven o’clock Thursday evening Jade called a few times to see if he was on his way. By eight thirty she was panicked. However, by eleven o’clock with still no word from the birthday boy, Jade got angry. She remembered the smart aleck comment Reese made in regards to her unwillingness to sleep with him and believed that was the reason he hadn’t come. Jade called a few more times the next day but when she heard his newly recorded answering machine message saying he didn’t want to talk, she closed the book on Reese Beal. Just as quickly as he’d entered her life, he left it. And as much as Jade hated to admit it, it broke her heart.

“Girl, I don’t know what to say. I liked Reese,” Tamara said. “But if I’m being honest, I didn’t really see a love connection there. Y’all always seemed more like good buddies than boyfriend and girlfriend.”

“Yeah, that’s what Landon said too. I kept telling myself it was just too early to jump into a relationship so soon after that mess with Levi. But I don’t know if I would’ve ever developed romantic feelings for Reese. That night we kissed was nice but I think I just needed to feel close to somebody and I really cared about and liked him. I felt safe with him. Reese was my real life teddy bear and the last person I expected to hurt me. I don’t know, Tamara, I feel so confused. He did all that talking about how he was better for me than Levi and how he was going to do all this junk to make me happy and then he turned out to be just like the other idiots I invited into my life,” Jade sighed. “I guess it’s me. I’m the common denominator in all this so I’m obviously the one that’s screwed up!”

“No you not, beauty queen, so don’t even go that route. Levi’s dumb ass was the one sitting up with a wife and baby and didn’t tell nobody! He the one that’s screwed up and you should’ve kept on slapping him! And as far as Reese go, well, that’s his loss. He missed out on a fantastic woman and I bet he know it too. So fuck him! Fuck ‘em all! When the right man come along we’ll know it and he’ll be everything you dreamed of. I believe that with my whole heart. So quit sitting in here tripping off these sorry ass bastards and let’s go catch a movie or something. Let’s go have some fun, girl.”

Thanksgiving and Christmas was nice but very lonely for Jade. So she decided to go out with one of the groomsmen from a recent wedding for New Year’s Eve. It turned out to be a complete and utter disaster! James Price was a thirty-two year old software engineer who spent the entire evening trying to prove how much better he was than Jade. He’d ask her a question and as soon as she answered he would reply with “oh that’s nothing” and go on and on about how he’d done it better, faster, and at a younger age. Jade was so grateful she had driven her own car to the restaurant and after dinner told James goodnight. He

thought they’d been having a great time and didn’t understand why she was racing to get away from him. Jade ended up back at her apartment snuggled on the couch with a huge piece of carrot cake and a few Fred Astaire movies.

The next month, as had become her routine, Jade drove to Lucky’s grocery store to get a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a king-sized Almond Joy. That day she’d received an unexpected piece of mail that sent her on a quest for comfort food. Levi actually had the nerve to send a Valentine’s Day card expressing his undying love and asked if she would be willing to have dinner with him. Jade knew it was dumb to even open the thing, but she couldn’t resist. Apparently she was still a glutton for punishment.