Imagined Love (25 page)

Lucky’s was a lonely girl’s worst nightmare! The entire store was draped with red and pink paper hearts and there were flowers, balloons, and heart-shaped boxes of candy everywhere. “Plggh!” Jade sputtered then rushed to the snack aisle to grab what she wanted and get out quickly. Unfortunately, everything looked appealing so she went to get a shopping cart to carry it all.

“That scent still drives me wild.”

Everything inside of Jade told her to run! She turned around instead. “Hey, Richard, what are you doing here? Shouldn’t you be at work?”

“I’m on vacation,” he said, staring seductively at her lips. “What are you doing here? I thought you and the fiancé would’ve been . . . oh, what happened to the fiancé?” Richard asked, as he planted a kiss on her naked ring finger.

“I guess he’s with the wife and child he forgot to mention.”

“What! Are you kidding?”

“I wish. Looks like I still don’t have much luck in the love department.”

“You could get lucky tonight if you wanted to,” he smiled, kissing her hand again. “Come home with me, Jade, and let me cook for you. Just tell me what you want and I’ll make it for you. Anything you want, I’ll do it,” Richard said, flexing his eyebrows at her.

Jade stared at him for a few moments, letting out a long sigh. “I could really go for a good steak, baked potato, and a nice salad . . . ooh and some of those rolls you used to make.”

Richard took all the junk food out of Jade’s cart then pushed it with one hand while holding hers with the other. He leaned over to plant a soft kiss on her lips before smiling brightly at her. Jade knew what she was about to do was wrong, but it felt good to be with someone who loved her, at least on some level.

Jade felt weird as she walked back into Richard’s townhouse. It didn’t seem like years had gone by but that it was just yesterday she’d been there with him having dinner, among other things. She sat on a stool in the kitchen while Richard cooked, catching him up on her life. He was saddened to hear about Mr. Phillips and held her for a while when she began to cry. Jade also gave him the details on

what went down with Levi. Richard couldn’t believe someone would actually do that and told her he was sorry. He admitted not a whole lot had changed in his life. He still worked for Apple, had friends over on the weekends to try out new recipes, and hadn’t really loved anyone since Jade left. She knew he was blowing smoke at her with that last part, but it was nice to hear anyway.

After he emptied the cake batter into a baking pan, Richard brought the bowl to Jade. She put some on her finger and was about to lick it off but he beat her to it. Every part of Jade’s body tingled from the feel of his warm mouth wrapped around her finger.

“I can do that to some other parts if you like,” Richard winked before going back to preparing her favorite meal. “Let me take care of your stomach first. Maybe then you’ll let me have my way with you. If I recall correctly, you owe me something.”

“Oh god, not that again! What am I doing?” Jade mumbled, as she got up from the stool to leave.

“What . . . oh no not that, girl,” he laughed, guiding her back to the stool. “I understood you quite clearly the last time. No, I was talking about that special thing I always wanted to see you do. Remember when I was gonna race you?” Richard laughed loudly.

“Well, I ain’t doing that either,” she snickered, playfully pushing him away.

At one point during their relationship Richard expressed his frustration that he was the only one performing oral sex. Jade’s solution was for him to stop doing it and then he’d have no reason to be frustrated. It wasn’t the answer he was hoping for but knew not to push the issue. Jade obviously had a real hang up about it and Richard couldn’t get her to relax or trust him enough to do it.

Jade knew he was adamant about taking routine HIV tests and decided to ask about his most recent one. There was no need in beating around the bush since they both knew having sex was part of the night’s plan. Richard’s last test was a month earlier after having a one-night stand with a former co-worker. He told Jade all the details including that he’d used a condom and didn’t engage in oral sex. Hers was five months ago after the last time she was with Levi. They used condoms as well. Jade insisted upon it every time, yet another thing that bugged Levi. He was already offended that she made him show his HIV test results instead of taking his word it was negative. And then she still refused to have sex “raw” no matter how much he begged her. Levi complained that Jade made him feel nasty and hoped his pouting would persuade her. She turned over and went to sleep, proving how unimportant their sex life was to her. He never bothered Jade about it again.

The dinner was wonderful as well as the company. Richard and Jade laughed and played together like kids. He chased her around his place, tickled at the way she screamed every time he came close to catching her. He finally scooped Jade up

in his arms and tossed her on his bed. Richard jumped in beside her and rubbed his hand across her stomach.

“You’re so beautiful,” he whispered, planting a kiss on her chin. Richard was mesmerized by her provocative eyes and couldn’t stop staring into them. “You have some kind of power over me, woman, you know that? I still feel connected to you and I know it wasn’t an accident we ran into each other today. You should have seen me running through that store trying to find you. I picked up your scent and went searching like a bloodhound,” he chuckled. “I know that probably sounds crazy but it’s true. I knew you were there. I could feel it deep inside of me and I had to find you. I miss you, baby. I was miserable after I saw you the last time because all I wanted to do was be with you and it ate me up that I couldn’t. I felt angry and jealous and that’s just not me. But when it comes to you, it’s different. You get to me in a way no one else can and I know it’s because I’m . . . I’m still in love with you, Jade.”

She kissed him. “Make love to me, Richard. Please.”

He searched Jade’s eyes momentarily trying to gauge what she was feeling. He planted a soft kiss on her lips then held her tight. “I told you before, baby, you don’t have to beg me for anything. I’ll gladly do whatever you want me to do,” he winked. Then Richard undressed Jade slowly the way she liked. He kissed and caressed every inch of her body and spent the next hour granting her request. “I miss you so much, baby,” he moaned.

Once they were done, Jade thanked Richard and told him he was just what she needed. His loud snoring made it obvious he hadn’t heard a word she said. She laughed then tiptoed to the bathroom thinking about him. Richard was the best lover Jade ever had and she loved the way he made her feel. It wasn’t always perfect, but she liked being able to tell him when he was doing something that didn’t feel good and he stopped immediately without throwing a fit like Levi did. Richard wasn’t so arrogant to think he was above correction. He encouraged Jade to tell him what she liked or didn’t like to make sure she enjoyed their lovemaking sessions. And she always did. She still couldn’t reach an orgasm but it was something Jade had resolved would never happen.

“Damnnn, girl! That was incredible!” Richard declared when he joined Jade in the bathroom. “I swear it felt so damn good I almost started crying,” he laughed. “You and the fiancé must have been breaking headboards because you sure as hell not shy now! No wonder you didn’t wanna come home with me that night. I guess you were getting everything you needed at home.”

“Please! I avoided Levi as much as I could,” Jade admitted. “And for the record, I did wanna go home with you that night. You’re still the best lover I ever had. But even though I wasn’t happy with Levi, he was still in my life. And until that was no longer the case, I couldn’t be with you. One guy at a time, remember?”

Richard smiled then joined Jade in the tub. They both were too exhausted for their normal bathtub antics and just enjoyed the hot, aromatic water and being in each other’s arms. It turned out to be a wonderful Valentine’s Day.

“So if it wasn’t the fiancé that brought out this sexual side, who was it?”

“It’s not a who but a what,” Jade stated then told him about Katrina’s books. “I was too embarrassed to even open them at first but now I love those things.”

“Shoot, me too. I’d love to see what else you’ve learned,” Richard smiled, wrapping his arms and legs around her. Water splashed everywhere but he didn’t seem to care. Jade was back and that’s all that mattered.

After three weeks of dating, things began to fizzle between them. They felt love for one another but what Jade desired was the unconditional, last forever type and Richard couldn’t give her that. So on March 7, 1995, after an incredible night, they kissed each other passionately knowing their time had come to an end—again. On March 26th, however, Richard and Jade learned that wasn’t exactly true.

“Hey, you,” he smiled, allowing Jade inside his townhouse. It was obvious she was upset. “What’s up?”

“Why did you lie to me, Richard? I thought we swore to always be honest and upfront with each other.”

“I have been honest with you . . . about everything.”

“Then how come I’m six weeks pregnant? A vasectomy is supposed to prevent that, isn’t it?”

“Aw, wow,” he sighed, feeling as though the wind had been knocked out of him. “It was from Valentine’s Day, wasn’t it? I actually wondered about that.”

Jade stared at him in utter disbelief. “What do you mean you wondered about that? So you knew you could get me pregnant and you let me . . .”

“No, no, Jade, I had the vasectomy. I just never went back to make sure I was shooting blanks like I was supposed to. My doctor was positive everything went well so I truly thought there was nothing to worry about. But then that night with you felt so different, so damn good that it made me wonder if we’d had some of that baby making sex. I dismissed the idea, though, because I had no reason to think the procedure didn’t work,” Richard said, his eyes glistening with tears. “I’m so sorry, baby girl.”

“Why didn’t you tell me, Richard? I trusted you,” Jade began to cry.

“Hey, come here,” he said, pulling her into his arms. “Please don’t cry, baby. Don’t cry.” Richard held her for a while in silence. “You know how much I care about you, Jade, and I’ll support whatever decision you make. Just tell me how you wanna handle this.”

She wiped her face with a Kleenex then looked Richard in the eyes. “Well, I guess we’re gonna be parents,” Jade announced.

CHAPTER TWENTY ONE

It was obvious from the look on Richard’s face he wasn’t happy with Jade’s decision. On their first date he told her about his experience with aborting a baby and how he could never bring himself to do it again. Clearly that was no longer the case. Even though Richard said he would support her having the baby, every word out of his mouth was meant to convince her otherwise. He repeatedly reminded Jade she would be a single parent and urged her to think carefully about what that would mean. She gathered from their conversation that Richard assumed his involvement would be minimal. He was prepared to provide for the child financially but the day to day care of the baby would fall squarely on her. When Jade made it known she expected him to share equal responsibility in raising their child, things turned ugly between them. They were screaming at and blaming each other for what was both their faults. Before things got too out of control, however, Richard embraced Jade to give them a chance to calm down.

“Okay, okay, let’s stop this,” he said, stroking her hair. “I’m sorry, alright?” He grabbed a box of tissues for Jade then they sat on the couch. “I’m sorry for reacting this way but I feel frustrated. I had the vasectomy because I don’t want more kids,” Richard stated with tears in his eyes. “But I didn’t do like I was supposed to and this is what happened. You trusted me and I let you down. Now I need to be a man and support your decision even if it’s not the one I want you to make. We did what it took to make this baby and we’ll do what it takes to care for it. I promise you I won’t abandon my child. I promise,” he said.

Richard may have promised not to abandon his child but he had no problems abandoning Jade. He suddenly became unavailable. And when he finally did resurface, he started playing stupid games. Richard would return Jade’s calls on her home phone when he knew she was at the office. Or he’d pretend not to be home when she’d just seen him walk into his place. It was enough to make her despise him and she said as much in a message left on his answering machine. Jade also told Richard how stupid it was for a man nearing his forties to be acting like an irresponsible teenage boy! Before hanging up she screamed how much she hated him. However, Jade hated herself most.

“Finally,” Landon snapped when Jade came into the office an hour later than she said she would. “Ugh, what’s wrong with you? You look crazy!”

Jade rolled her eyes and pushed passed him to go to her office. She should have been at home in bed but Landon would’ve thrown a fit if she made him deal with Marisol, the bride from hell, on his own. After they were done, though, that’s exactly where Jade was going. She thought the morning sickness which had her in

bed most days would have stopped by then but she still felt like vomiting. More than anything Jade wanted it to stop so she could get back to being herself. Nobody knew about Richard or the baby but she realized Landon was getting suspicious. There were only so many times one person could have a “bug” before people caught on to the fact that something else was going on, particularly a registered nurse like Gabrielle.

Less than ten minutes into their meeting, Jade began to sweat profusely. The sharp stabbing pain in her stomach made her crumple to the floor and she threw up! Landon ran to her side then screamed for Gabrielle who came flying downstairs to help. Marisol nearly fainted when she saw all the blood covering the front of Jade’s shorts, so her mother took her outside to get some fresh air. The paramedics arrived a few minutes later and had Jade loaded into the back of the truck in no time. Landon rushed back inside to get his wallet and keys.

“So can we continue now? I wanna show you the colors I picked for the bridesmaids dresses and the . . .”