Imperative: Volume 1, A Tale of Pride and Prejudice (97 page)

“Where did you get that idea?”

“He did not love Pemberley?”  Seeing Darcy’s confusion, she put her hands on her hips and stopped.  “Am I mistaken?”

“How can you not love Pemberley?”  His hand waved over the landscape before them. “It is impossible!”

“He would never inherit it . . .”

“So automatically he would not love it?” 

“But . . .” 

“You were not to inherit Longbourn but you loved it, did you not?” Darcy’s one eyebrow lifted and he nodded.  “Well then.  He loves it.”  He started walking again.  “Not love Pemberley . . .” 

“You are muttering to yourself, Husband.”  She called after him.

“If you are going to say such foolish things . . .”  Noticing that she had not continued with him, he turned to see her standing still with her hands on her hips.  “What have I done?”

“You left me in your wake.  The HMS Darcy set sail without me.”  Groaning, he returned to her side and wrapped her up in his arms.  “That is better.”

His eyes travelled her face.  “What are we arguing about?”

“Were we arguing?”  She stood on her toes to kiss him.  “Is it warm enough to give me a lesson on proper mounting techniques?” 

Darcy’s eyes widened.  “Absolutely!”  Immediately he scanned the landscape.  “There, to the cider press!” 

Elizabeth squealed when he grabbed her hand and started running.  “Will!”

“Come on!”  He grinned back at her.  “Time is wasting!” 

“But you have the legs of a . . . giraffe!” 

“A giraffe?”  He slowed and chuckling, slipped his arm around her waist.  “You have spent too much time in the library!”

“Alone.” 

“Hmmmm.”  Rubbing his lips over her cheek, he whispered, “toddies and a blanket tonight?”

“What shall you read to me?”

“Ohhhhhhhh, something soothing.”

“Why will I need to be soothed, Mr. Darcy?”

“Because I intend to practice our mounting skills most vigorously, my love.”  Elizabeth giggled and he took in a great lungful of air.  “Thank you for this, I needed this escape.” 

“So did I.” 

Darcy kissed her softly, “I know.  You have been the lynchpin to everything.  Without you, I am afraid that I . . . I do not even wish to imagine the state I would be in at this moment.” 

“Instead of greatly aroused?”  Her eyes sparkled as she reached to rub at his breeches.  Staying her hand, he stopped and held her closely. 

“I am serious.”

“I know, I . . . I just do not take compliments well.”  She said softly to his neck cloth. 

“Hearing them?”  His nose nudged her cheek and he lifted her face.  Tenderly his tongue traced over her lips and parting them, slipped inside.  His arms drew her in closer and he lifted her bottom up to press against his arousal.  His kisses moved to her ear where he licked again and nibbled the sensitive skin on her throat.  “Do you feel complimented, dearest?”

“More . . .”

Darcy kissed her nose and smiled.  “That is my intention.”

“Mr. Darcy!”  A voice rang out, breaking the heady tension. 

He rested his forehead to Elizabeth’s and sighed.  She rubbed her hand over his bottom as he let her down.  “Ten miles of park and we still cannot be alone.”  She whispered with a laugh.  His eyes rolled and he straightened.  Elizabeth looked him over.  “Good thing you have that greatcoat on . . .”

Darcy pinched her bottom and twitching his lips, turned to find Mr. Benson approaching with his sons.  “Mr. Benson.”

“Sir, I am sorry to interrupt.”  He nodded bashfully to Elizabeth.  “I just wanted to tell you that the window . . . the one my wife’s brother was going to put in, well it is up sir, and not a breath of cold is coming in and not a drop of rain!  We are grateful, sir.  Would you like to see it?  The missus would be proud to have you over?”

Looking at Elizabeth, Darcy’s eyes widened.  She took her cue, “Oh, that is very kind of you, Mr. Benson, but Mr. Darcy and I have plans for the afternoon.  We will certainly be very pleased to visit the next time we are touring the estate.” 

“Oh, that’s fine, Mrs. Darcy, just fine.”  He beamed.  “She’ll be glad to have you.” 

“And we will be happy to see your window.”  Darcy nodded then seeing the boys staring up at him in awe, he looked to Elizabeth worriedly. 

“And perhaps we will bring a treat for you boys, but you have to be very good.  I will ask your mother when we come.”  She raised her brow to them.  “Mind your parents until then.”

“Yes, Mrs. Darcy!”  They chorused.

“Ahh they’re good lads.”  The proud father rubbed their heads.  “Well, we will leave you to your . . . walk, sir.”  He bobbed his head and quickly moved on in the opposite direction. 

Darcy sighed.  “Our walk.” 

Elizabeth’s hand was to her mouth as she laughed.  “There you see, you
are
approachable.”

“Perhaps a little too approachable.”  He said ruefully and taking her hand, they started walking again.

Elizabeth cocked her head at him.  “My father never received such a welcome.”

“I am surprised.  He seems most amiable.”  She raised her brow.  “In his way.”  He added with a little smile.  “It was not lost on me that his humour always came at others’ expense, dear, and that he rather preferred his own company . . .”  He paused, “Do you think that your father holds himself above others?”

Her eyes widened in surprise.  “I . . . my goodness, Fitzwilliam, I have never thought of him that way.”  She studied his profile and considered Mr. Bennet. 

Darcy smiled a little at her.  “I was just struck by my observation.  I prefer the company of very few.”

“But you are willing to interact with those who are important to you, and in such a way that they
want
to engage your attention, and
want
to please you.”  Elizabeth’s head rested on his shoulder.  “They trust you.”  She fell into silence and they strolled along the path. 

“What are you thinking, dear?” 

“You begged me to trust you when you proposed, and I did.” 

“And I am grateful for it.” 

“But at that moment in my life, I should have given my trust to my father.  After all, he should have had my best interests in mind.”  Elizabeth said softly as they walked up over a hill and she could just barely see the roof of Pemberley House in the distance.  Darcy watched her and knew what was coming, and he knew that he had to be as honest as he could.  “What was the true reason that he wished to deny me your hand?”  She looked up to him.  “Do you know?”

“I was never told explicitly.” 

“That was a creative reply.” 

“It was truthful.”  He looked ahead as the path took a turn.  “There is the cider press, it looks to be unoccupied.” 

“Have you surmised a reason?”

He drew a breath and let it out slowly.  “Yes.”

“Would you care to share it with me?” 

“Not particularly, I wish for your father to . . .”  He caught the look in her eye and knew there was no putting her off.  Slowing his gait, he came to a stop and turned to her, taking her hands.  He closed his eyes against her stare and searched for what to say.  “Mr. Bennet is suspicious of his health and . . . his hope was to have you always by his side if his health failed him.  He felt that you were the best suited to look after the business of the estate with his steward if he was unwell, and he felt that of his daughters, you would give him the compassionate care that he felt your mother would not.”   Her mouth opened and he shook his head.  “And he wished to assure your future.” 

“Marrying you assured my future.  He knew that the moment you asked for my hand.”  She waved her arm to encompass the estate.  “How much more assured can I possibly be?”

“He did not hang onto his plan for long, Elizabeth.  As soon as the announcement was published, he let it go.” 

 “He is a grown man, Fitzwilliam; there is no need to make excuses for him.”  She fell into silence and he watched her closely. 

“What are you thinking?” 

“You do not know?

“I am not clairvoyant, love.”  Darcy squeezed her hands.  “I expected an entirely different reaction from you.  I thought that you would be . . . I do not know, but not this quiet.  I think that this disturbs me more than the tears or even anger that I expected.”

“No, no I am not angry.  I am deeply disappointed.  What did you say a moment ago?  That he found humour at the expense of others?”  He nodded and she did as well.  “He never extended himself for others either.  He may have wished to give his . . .
most suited
daughter the gift of being mistress of Longbourn, perhaps because I am the son he never had, but ultimately that is not why he wished me married to Collins.  It was all about his comfort.  Mama will take to her bed when he takes to his.  Jane will sit with him but they have nothing really to talk about.  Mary will read him sermons, and Kitty and Lydia . . .”  Her eyes closed.  “He could not save for our futures or educate us, but when it came to
his
comfort, I was to sacrifice loving you to satisfy him.”  Elizabeth opened her eyes to find Darcy’s focussed on her.  She sobbed and he immediately kissed her, and pulled her into his arms.  She rested her head on his shoulder while his hands rubbed up and down her back. 

Elizabeth remained silent as she clung to him until he heard her whisper, “Mrs. William Collins.” 

“Mary Collins.”  Darcy said softly.  “Elizabeth Darcy.” 

“When?”

His eyes closed and he pressed his lips to her ear.  “I do not know, nor does he; I think.  It was never spoken between us . . . I am sorry for not telling you.  I was afraid for you to know.  I was afraid that I would lose you, that you would stay behind . . . and your father at least realized that it would be unfair for him to place this news before you and try to influence your decision.  You see, perhaps he is not so selfish after all.   I am the one who is selfish . . . I . . . I know what it is to lose a parent, and I am denying you the time that I dearly wish I had with my father . . . I . . .” 

Elizabeth drew back from him and saw the distress in his eyes.  She blinked back the tears in hers and reached to touch his face.  “You are babbling.”

“I know.”  He kissed the palm of her glove.  “Who knew I was capable?”

“I have had my suspicions.”  She drew a breath and kept caressing his cheek.  “I love you, Fitzwilliam Darcy.” 

“My dearest Elizabeth . . .”  His eyes moved to her lips and they kissed.  He swallowed, pulling her back into his tight embrace and rested his head on her shoulder.  “Do you wish to go home?”

“I am home.”  She kissed his ear and hugged him when he squeezed tighter.  “No, Jane would surely have told me if there was news of Father’s health, and we have heard nothing.”

“Two letters await you in the study.”  He whispered.

“I know.”  She said softly.  “When we return to London, we will stop on the way there and on the way back.  I . . . I know that once we are in Scotland . . . there will be no possibility of visits.”

“No.”  He sighed.  “I could not leave Georgiana alone, and I will not allow you to travel without me.  I . . . I cannot, dearest.  I am just as possessive as your father, it seems.”

Elizabeth smiled, “Your possessiveness is very welcome.”

“Why?” 

“Need you ask?”

“Apparently.” 

She laughed and wiggling from his embrace held his face in her hands.  “Because I feel the same about you.”   

Darcy stared into her eyes and tried to read what they said.  “This has been weighing on me for so long.  I am relieved to at last have you know.  Why are you not angry with me?” 

“Will . . .”  Leaning forward, she kissed him.  “Sweetheart, do you not realize yet that you have my love, my loyalty?  What are all of the promises I made when we married?  I have left my father’s home for yours.  He has a houseful of family to look after him, even if it is not in the manner he wished, he does have them.  Who do you have? Certainly not that pit of vipers who were squatting in our home a week ago, and not a sister who is so lost in herself that she does not yet have the ability to think of others, not even the child she carries.  Regardless of my father’s health, I was aware when I married you that I would live far away from Longbourn, and that news of my family would be irregular and visits rare.  I knew that I would probably miss my sisters’ weddings and that I would miss my parents’ deaths.”  Darcy took her hand and kissing it, wrapped his hands around hers.  “Papa’s selfishness is disappointing, but in the end, he did relent, and by doing that, he knows that I am yours now.” 

“Elizabeth . . .”

“Whatever comes, whatever events or people enter our lives, family, children, friends or . . . anybody, I am first and foremost yours.”  She watched as his eyes searched hers and could see relief spreading over him.  Susan’s instincts were correct, he needed to hear this.

“I pray, dearest, that you know that I am and always will be yours above all else,” he turned her around to stand behind her as they looked over the estate.  “This place is my life’s work,” he leaned down to gently kiss her cheek, “but you are my life.”

Chapter 30

D
arcy looked up from the book in his lap when Georgiana entered the library.  Neither said a word.  The tension between the siblings was thick and had remained so for the three days since their confrontation in the music room.  With no buffer between them, both were experiencing a solid and uncomfortable taste of what life might have become if Georgiana’s wish for her brother to stay with her at Pemberley had been granted. 

Susan remained at the dower house preparing for her trip to London while Samuel paid daily visits to Mr. Mayfield in Lambton, working out the possibilities of his future position.  Elizabeth, for all of her outward confidence and strength over the past months, succumbed to grief when she read the letter from Mrs. Gardiner giving her the confirmation of Mr. Bennet’s illness. 

Darcy heard the first sob and dropping his letter from Bingley, held her as he picked up the note and read the news.  None of the other girls knew, but Mrs. Bennet had been told.  Her method of facing her greatest fear was to pretend nothing was wrong.  If anything, Mrs. Gardiner thought, she was flightier than ever.