Imperative: Volume 1, A Tale of Pride and Prejudice (47 page)

“Your relatives seem to be . . .”  He searched for a word and failed.

“Tolerable?” 

“Please do not throw my past words against me.”

“I was not; I hoped to lighten the tension a little.”  She sighed and looked down at her hands, then biting her lip, removed his ring and taking his left hand in hers, looked up to him.  Darcy had turned when she touched him and watched as she slid the ring onto his finger.  “With this ring, I thee wed.”

“Elizabeth . . .”  He breathed and touched her cheek.

“I would love to see you wear this . . .
for always
.” 

“I will if you promise to never take yours off again, that . . . that shattered me.  I had to leave.  Promise me it will never leave your hand again.”  He took her hand in his and looked into her eyes as his thumb immediately found its place, rubbing over the band.

“I promise, and as much as I deeply regret removing it, if I had not, I never would have seen your beautiful inscription.”

“I would have told you to look, one day.”  He said softly. 

“The day that you were planning to wear your ring all of the time?”  Elizabeth rubbed over his ring and saw him nod.  “When was that to be?  When we were at last . . . united?”

“No.   I do not know.  I suppose that I was waiting for something . . . something like today.”  He drew a deep breath.  “Will you come home with me?” 

“That you ask and do not order me is the mark of respect I have prayed I would always receive from you, but . . .”  Darcy’s relief was replaced with concern.  “We need to talk about everything.  I know that it is not considered proper for a wife to concern a husband with her troubles, but . . . you are all I have, Fitzwilliam, and I dearly need your friendship.”

“You always had it, love.  I thought that you knew.”  Darcy caressed her cheek.  “Am I so unapproachable?”

“No, but . . . you carry so much.”

“Perhaps I am trying to spare you?”

“Well stop it!”  Elizabeth demanded to his surprise.  “I
want
you to rely on me!  I
want
you to confide in me!  I want you to be . . . everything that you cannot be with anyone else.  See what confessing our fears has done already?  We are talking to each other.  I am not upstairs in a bedchamber swearing that I will never speak to you again, and you are not contemplating what a horrible mistake you made in choosing a sheltered ignorant country girl as your wife.”  He smiled a little, still caressing her cheek.  His steady touch brought back her confidence.  “Should we invite my aunt and uncle in so that you may meet them properly?  They are nothing like my parents and sisters, I promise, they are wonderful people, if you would just give them a chance . . .”

“shhhh.”  Darcy nodded and put his finger over her lips.  “I will meet them, and invite them to our home . . . for dinner tomorrow.  Agreed?”

“Oh . . . Yes.”  She smiled and he moved his hand over her hair. 

“Elizabeth, why are you wearing this tired old dress?”  She blushed and he shook his head.  “You thought you were not good enough to be Mrs. Darcy?”

“Stupid?”

“Quite.”  He leaned down and lifted her chin to kiss her gently.  “Forgive me for behaving as an arrogant bast- fool, and leaving you.  I should have sent word to my uncle that I would be along another time.  I should have stayed with you.   I wished I was home the instant I arrived at his door and can barely recall what I said to him I was so angry with myself.  I am sorry . . . Beyond Richard, I was forced to defend our marriage at the club today and . . . that coupled with his questioning . . . I was not prepared to think reasonably when you presented your letter.”

“There, you see, we are talking and I am learning something more.  What was said?”

“When we are home, this is a conversation for home.”  He stood still and closed his eyes when she wrapped her arms around his waist, and embraced her in return.  A great flood of relief washed over them both.  “I love you more now than I ever have.  The thoughts I had of losing you were unbearable.”

Elizabeth’s ear rested against his pounding heart and she closed her eyes.  “I was afraid that you listened to my thoughtless words.  I was so afraid that you were going to come and demand an annulment.  I . . . I could not possibly let you go.  Not now, not ever.”  She felt his arms tighten around her.  “I am so very sorry to have frightened you so much.  I . . . I did not think of . . . I did not think at all.  I felt so lost.”

“And you ran to the one place where you felt safe.  I wish that was with me.”

“It is with you, but I thought that you had rejected me.” 

“Elizabeth . . . I would much rather face your fury than return to an empty house.”

“I love you, Will.” 

“I know.”

A quiet knock warned them of the Gardiners’ return, but they did not move from their embrace.  “Well, this looks much more promising than we feared.”  Mr. Gardiner said with obvious relief.  “All is well?”

Elizabeth sniffed and nodded.  “It will be.” Darcy looked down to her and let go, but kept her hand in his. 

“Perhaps you might like to repair the damage, dearest?”  He brushed back a curl.  “We cannot have anyone peeking in the carriage windows and seeing Mrs. Darcy in tears, can we?” 

“They would not think it is Mrs. Darcy when they see the bonnet I will be wearing.”  She wiped her eyes with her fingers.  He shook his head and gave her his handkerchief.  “The yellow one.”

“Oh Lizzy, not the one with the orange ribbon?”

She laughed and nodded as she dabbed.  “I suppose I was feeling a bit of spite while I was dressing.”

“I suppose that bonnet will be meeting the fire when we return home.”  Letting go of her hand, he took back the handkerchief.  “Go on, dear.  I will be waiting.”  He watched her leave with Mrs. Gardiner and closed his eyes tightly as if in prayer.  When he heard Mr. Gardiner’s throat clear, he looked to the back of the room and surreptitiously wiped the dampness from the corners of his eyes before turning to him.  “I apologize for this drama played out in your home, sir.”

“No, I am grateful that we were here for her, and gladder still to see the gentleman who she has married.”  He watched the younger man’s face colour and nodded.  “A drink?”

Darcy hesitated, and then thought of Elizabeth.  “Yes, thank you.”  He followed Mr. Gardiner to his small study, and stood stiffly; only his eyes moved as he took in the room and examined intently Elizabeth’s uncle. 

“Brandy, Mr. Darcy?  Or shall I open some wine?  I have Jamison’s as well?”

“Brandy will be satisfactory, Mr. Gardiner.”  He gestured awkwardly to the heavily laden shelves.  “This is a fine library.”

“Books are my vice.  Please take a seat, sir.”  He indicated the best chair by the fireplace and taking a smaller one nearby, glanced around the room.  “Whenever I have a spare moment and a spare bit of money, I indulge my vice.  Of course, I have learned that it is good to indulge my wife’s first, lest I get that cold eye every time I open a new volume in her sight.”  He chuckled and Darcy looked at him quizzically.  “She is inordinately fond of tea.”

“That is not such a vice.”  Darcy’s mouth lifted slightly.

“It is when you consider the cost of those little black leaves.”  Mr. Gardiner sipped his port and saw Darcy’s brow furrow.  “But she is also fond of drinking chocolate, which is an even dearer indulgence.”

“It seems she would be pleased with a special tea cup for enjoying her small pleasure.”  Darcy said thoughtfully.

“Please sir, I beg you, do not suggest such a thing in her hearing!  She would begin collecting them!”  Mr. Gardiner laughed and was relieved to see the tension in Darcy’s posture loosen slightly.  “I hope that you enjoy the brandy, a friend gave it to me.”

Darcy had been avoiding tasting the spirit, unsure of its origin, but it seemed he had no choice now and allowed a drop to touch his lips.  His eyes opened wide and he stared at Mr. Gardiner.  “This is French!  How did . . .”

“Shhh.”  He laid a finger aside his nose.  “A friend.”

“A useful one.”  Darcy took a true sip and savoured the flavour that the war had kept from his wine cellars.  He looked back up to find a pair of intelligent eyes watching him.  “Perhaps I have been wrong in my opinions of this part of Town.”

“No, no, I am but one example, there are plenty of others who would easily support every notion you carry.  I understand your hesitancy.  I am in trade, and after all, I grew up with my sisters.  Your expectations of my behaviour are undoubtedly based upon theirs.” 

“What on earth happened there?”  Darcy said without thinking and his cheeks coloured.  “Forgive me.”

“Not at all.  They are silly, have been since the day I was born.  They were taught their letters and numbers and that they were pretty, and both set off to catch husbands.   One did well but had no children.  The other did very well, and did not have a son.”

“The all-important son.”  Darcy murmured as the rest of his troubles returned to his mind.

Mr. Gardiner studied the young man before him, and set down his glass.  “Mr. Darcy, I am not Lizzy’s father, and she is a married woman and under your command, but I am going to risk your ire and banishment from your home to speak my mind to you.”  Darcy started and his brow creased, but he sat up and gave Mr. Gardiner his full and for the elder man, rather disconcertingly intense attention.  “You are acquainted with the atmosphere of my niece’s childhood home, you are aware of the lack of attention and education she was afforded there, and yet something about her managed to catch your eye, making her worthy beyond any woman you had met in the circle you inhabit.  You agree that she is very special?”

“Wholeheartedly, sir.  She amazes me with her intelligence, her good humour, and her accomplishments, and her beauty leaves me without words.”  He looked down into his glass.  “I imagine that you and your wife had some hand in this.”

“What you see was already within her, sir.  Mrs. Gardiner and I only gave her the reason to discover it for herself by giving her the opportunities to learn and observe away from home.”

“And I am ashamed that I questioned her continuing her relationship with you, by virtue of your address and profession.” 

“Again sir, you could not have known any of this, and I do not hold you in contempt for your attitude towards me.”  He sat forward.  “I do, however, hold you in contempt for treating my niece so callously.  In the midst of her fury upon arriving here, she still defended you.  She loves you, and it angers me beyond expression that any man so fortunate to have won her love would send her running off into the night to seek relief in the arms of her uncle rather than her husband.  Do you have any idea what a treasure you have in Elizabeth?”

Darcy looked down to the ring.  “I thought I had, but did not appreciate it as I should until she removed her wedding band and offered me an annulment.”

Mr. Gardiner stared, and eventually found his tongue, “I can see that feelings were running exceptionally high during this argument.  No wonder you both reacted so violently . . . Lizzy of course was speaking in the heat of the moment, annulment is impossible.  You gave your proper names, you are both competent, and surely impotence is not an issue, there are no other grounds for consideration.  What would make her think . . .” Darcy’s eyes flicked up for a moment and back down to his glass.  Mr. Gardiner’s mouth dropped open and he sat back as he wondered if the marriage had not been consummated. 
Good Lord, why?
”

“I will not discuss our marriage further, but emotions
were
high at the time, and I agree, Elizabeth is unclear on the law.”  Darcy leaned forward and spoke softly.  “Mr. Gardiner, while I do appreciate the affection in which you hold your niece, and I admire that you would fight for her well being, I think that your passions are also getting the best of you.  As you are clearly aware of the difference between us, you are also aware that I am not beholden to you or any other in reference to my wife or my family.  I do not accept it from my own blood, and I certainly will not accept it from you.  Like myself, you are your own man.  I am sure that you would not be calm in the face of a virtual stranger delivering a tongue-lashing to you.”  Mr. Gardiner’s face coloured and he nodded his acceptance.  Darcy watched him and sat back, continuing in his quiet voice.  “That being said, nothing you expressed will top what I am thinking myself.”

“I see that.”  Mr. Gardiner saw Darcy’s shoulders slump and licked his lips, speaking cautiously.  “It is not my place, but . . . if you would like advice from a long-married man, or an ear to bend . . . I have the impression that you are rather alone in your troubles.”

Darcy looked up and hesitated, but shook his head.  “No, I have Elizabeth, and she has me, we are going to learn together.  Thank you for the offer.”

The sound of many running feet could be heard and both men looked up to the ceiling.  Darcy’s eyes met Mr. Gardiner’s in silent question.  “My children have undoubtedly discovered your wife’s presence, she is beloved by them.  I have no doubt that she will be a wonderful mother for your children, sir.”

“Yes, I have always felt that.  Our children will be blessed, as I already know I am.”  Darcy quickly finished his drink and rose to his feet.  He was hastily followed by his host.  “It is time that we return home.  We have trespassed long enough.  I invite you and Mrs. Gardiner for dinner tomorrow at my home in Park Lane, number twenty-six.  Seven o’clock.”

Mr. Gardiner’s mouth gaped and he pulled himself together.  “It will be an honour, sir.”

Darcy waited by the door and at last Mr. Gardiner realized he was supposed to precede him, and bustled past.  Spotting a maid, he gave a quick order to send Elizabeth downstairs.  Darcy took his hat from the housekeeper and stood silently staring up at the landing.    Elizabeth appeared and walked with difficulty as four children clung to her skirts.  Darcy’s breath caught at the sight and he watched as she knelt and gave each of them hugs.  “Now you be good for your mama and papa.” 

“Please stay, Lizzy!”  The eldest boy begged.  “You know all of the best games!” 

“Please?” A girl with big brown eyes whispered.