Imperative: Volume 1, A Tale of Pride and Prejudice (98 page)

The simultaneous arrival of Elizabeth’s courses only made it all worse and Darcy demanded that she take to her bed.  She did not argue, and the absence of her spirit worried him deeply.  He was hoping that after a good rest, he would soon be seeing his wife up and flying past the doorway on her determined walk.  Until then, however, it was Darcy, Georgiana, and an uncomfortably silent house. 

Darcy cleared his throat, took a sip of his wine, and turned a page.

Georgiana peeked at him and selecting a random book; took the chair opposite his by the fire.  She saw his eyes flick to her.  “It is snowing again.” 

His eyes flicked to the window and back.  “So it is.” 

There was a strained pause.  “I guess that you and Elizabeth will not be walking out.”

“I will have to consult with her when she wakes.  My wife is glad to enjoy any sort of weather.  She loves being out of doors.  It is one of the countless qualities about her that I admire.”  He held her gaze for a moment and returned to his book. 

“She told that story about walking to Netherfield.  I guess that . . . that was for a reason.  Not just to shock everyone.”

“No.  It was not.”  He turned a page.   “It is a particularly treasured memory that I wished to share with the people I hoped cared for me.  It seems that it fell on deaf ears.”

“I am . . .” She hesitated when the blue eyes bore back into her.  “I am sorry that she feels poorly.”

“As am I.”  Darcy said softly, and pinching the bridge of his nose with his thumb and forefinger, blinked and looked back to the page. 

“What is wrong?”  He looked to her.  “With Elizabeth.”

Darcy attempted to gauge her sincerity and spoke bluntly, “Elizabeth has borne the misery that I have laid at her feet with poise and she is exhausted. And now, she has learned that her father has a cancer.”

“Oh.”  Georgiana searched for words, “How terrible . . . will you go to see him?”

“We will visit at the end of the month.  We plan to be at Longbourn for her sister Mary’s wedding and then we will visit London briefly.  Our peers and her neighbours will be satisfied that she is not with child, ending their prattle against my dear wife’s reputation.”  Seeing his sister’s embarrassment, he looked back to his book.

“But . . . but why not go sooner?  If he is so ill . . .”

“Aunt Susan is leaving with Samuel for London in a few days and will return at month’s end to look after you when we depart.”

“I do not need anyone,” Georgiana began and seeing his eyes narrow, she spoke quickly, “I mean . . . I do not need someone to stay with me if it prevents Elizabeth from visiting her father, especially if he is so ill.  I . . . I was glad that I was at Darcy House when Papa died.”  Darcy’s gaze softened.  “It was horrible, but . . . I had breakfast with him that morning and I . . . I said that I loved him before I went upstairs to my lessons, so my last memory of him is . . . pleasant.”  She looked down.  “I just thought Elizabeth would like the same.” 

Darcy considered this glimpse of the sister he once knew.  “I am sure that she would, unfortunately our responsibility right now is to you.  This is her decision; otherwise I would have had us all leaving for Longbourn two days ago and written to the housekeeper at Netherfield to warn her of our arrival.”  He closed his book and set it aside.  “But Elizabeth is an obstinate woman.  She will not budge.  And as her father did not give permission for her to be told . . .” He grew silent and stared into the flames. 

“It is one more burden for you, Brother.”  Georgiana whispered. 

He nodded and turned his ring.  “We cannot predict the hour of Mr. Bennet’s death, but it is our family situation that will prevent my wife from joining her family at this terrible time.  It weighs on me heavily.  She should be allowed to say goodbye.  It is part of the bargain she unknowingly made for accepting me.”  Darcy rubbed his thumb over their initials, and spoke gently, “Dear woman.” 

“This bargain was because of me.”  Darcy said nothing, but nodded.  “Aunt Susan told me everything that Elizabeth agreed to when you proposed.  And . . . the torment you suffered from people assuming that she was . . . with child when you married.”

“The torment we are attempting to spare you.  Although yours would be far worse.”    

“I understand that now.”  Darcy’s face remained impassive and Georgiana plunged forward, “Elizabeth was very angry with me after I left the music room the other day.  She . . . she told me that . . . the world does not revolve around me.”  She heard a small snort.  “She told me to start thinking of others and particularly the . . . baby.”  Darcy sighed.  “And to apologize to you for . . . everything.” 

“Everything?”  He continued to stare into the fireplace.  “What precisely is everything, Georgiana?”

“I was jealous that you wanted to marry.  I . . . I did not like knowing that you . . . wanted to have a life beyond me, I already had lost Papa.”  She watched as Darcy’s hands flexed and closed.  “And . . . I accepted George’s . . . Mr. Wickham’s advances and . . . it was after that when I discovered . . .” Her voice faltered and stopped.

“Discovered what, Georgiana?”  He said quietly to the flames.  “What it was to want to be with someone you cared for?”

“Yes.” 

“I see.” 

“I am so sorry, Fitzwilliam.  I could have prevented everything if I just thought beyond myself.  This situation never had to happen.”  She was greeted by silence.  “I am sorry for not accepting your choice of wife and for treating her poorly when all you both want to do is save me from the shame and ruin I have brought to our family.”   Again there was silence.  “I promise that . . . I will show you and Elizabeth the respect you deserve and appreciate the protection you give me . . . and this baby.”  She stared back down to her hands.  “I realize how fortunate I am that you are my guardian.  Any other and I might never have been allowed to return home.”

He considered her clearly rehearsed apology and asked quietly.  “What of . . . him?”

“I do not know what I think of him yet.” 

Darcy’s eyes closed and he nodded.  “I can accept that for now, but I pray that you will see it clearly soon, for your own recovery.  Only you know what happened between you.  But you will understand that I will forever see him as a man twice your age seducing an innocent and taking her into a life fraught with ruin and deceit.  Even though you were all too willing to accept his advances and forgot all you were raised to be, his approach preyed on your weaknesses.  I will regret to the end of my days indulging you instead of opening your eyes to the dangers outside of these walls.  You were unprepared for the scoundrel he had become. You are not the first, and I suspect you will not be the last young girl he will ruin and leave without a thought of the devastation he inflicts upon their families.  I will never accept him, no matter what your ultimate opinion of him is, and I ask you now to not speak of him before me ever again.  He will never be allowed on my land again.”

“Yes, sir.”  Georgiana looked up.  “I love you, Fitzwilliam.” 

“I love you, too.”  Letting out a deep breath, he at last looked at her and his gaze dropped to the book she clutched in her hands.  “Interesting choice of reading material.”  Georgiana’s brow creased and she looked at her lap.  “Fordyce’s Sermons?”

“Oh!” 

“Elizabeth would enjoy the irony of that, I think.”  His lips lifted slightly. 

“She seems to like to laugh.” 

“Another of the many, many reasons I love her.”  Darcy stood and walking to her side, bent and kissed her burning cheek.  “If after this long separation you still do not know your feelings for . . . him, I would say that what you experienced was never love.”  Seeing a crease form in her brow, he gave her shoulder a squeeze, “Elizabeth and I both discovered the depth of our love when we thought it had been lost.  It was painful physically and mentally, and absolutely terrifying.  Think about when you left him, Georgiana.  Did your heart break?  Was it relief you felt?  Do you think that you must profess love now to justify your actions?”  He saw that the confusion remained.  “You have much to consider and I will leave you to it.  I am going to go bother Elizabeth.” 

“I know that will make you happy.”  She smiled a little. 

“It will, hopefully it will make her happy as well.”  Nodding to her, he walked from the room and assessed the sounds of the household.  The chattering of maids at their never ending work caught his ear in one direction, while he noticed footmen bringing out ladders to take down the drooping decorations. 

“Missy?”  He addressed a young girl carrying a stack of linens from below stairs, “Have you seen Mrs. Darcy walking?”

“No sir, she is still in her rooms, but I know that they were calling for bathwater about an hour or so ago.” The girl bobbed and blushed as he quickly strode away and up the stairs to their chambers. 

“Come on then!”  Another maid behind her said impatiently.

“Oh.”  She startled. 

“You look like you’ve seen a ghost.”  John said as he came down the ladder with one end of a pine garland. 

“No, not a ghost.”  The older maid tilted her head to look at her.

“He was smiling.”  Missy whispered.  “Did you see his face light up?”

“It is a sight for sore eyes, I’ll give you that.”  Sarah agreed, looking after the master’s shoes just disappearing onto the landing above, then sighing, she gave Missy a shove.  “Go!” 

“I’m going!”  She made a face and scurried out of the way and down to the dining room. 

Darcy arrived at his chambers and paused, he could just make out the refreshing sound of voices coming from Elizabeth’s rooms.  Lifting his chin, he stepped to the window, looking out at the landscape.  A sliver of sunshine was breaking through the clouds and shining on the dusting of snow.  Unlocking the panes, he opened the window and stuck his nose out, and breathed in the fresh cold air.  “We cannot waste this.” 

After locking the window back up, he paid a call and returning to the room listened for the women’s voices to cease their conversation.  He paced for several minutes and seeing the snow stop and the sunshine increase, he turned determinedly towards the door.   “Mrs. Darcy?”  He called out as he passed through the sitting room and into her chambers.  “Mrs. Darcy?”

“I will be right there, Mr. Darcy.”   

When she did not appear, he clasped his hands behind his back and tried to look through the opening of the half-closed door.  “Elizabeth?”  He walked forward and pushed the door open a little.  “I thought that we could take a ride, or perhaps a walk, the day is quite pleasant and you know how you require your exercise . . .”  He stopped.  Elizabeth was handing Judy a handkerchief.  “Forgive me, I . . .” His eyes darted from one woman to another.  “I will leave you.”

“No, no it is all right.”  Elizabeth stood and walked to his side.   “I was just telling Judy of our plans for the spring and summer.” 

“Our plans . . .” Darcy’s mouth opened and his eyes closed.  “I see.” 

“Mr. Darcy, I . . . I am terribly sorry, sir.  I promise you that I will keep this confidence to my grave, sir.”  Judy whispered.  “Parker will as well, but I am sure that you know how trustworthy he is.”

“Yes, yes I do.  I . . . I have already spoken to him.”  He licked his lips and felt Elizabeth’s hand squeezing his.  “Miss Darcy’s maid . . . what of her?” 

“I am afraid that she may not be suitable.”  Elizabeth said softly.

“Oh.” 

“Mrs. Darcy asked my honest opinion, sir.  I think that Betsy would talk.  She has already asked me if I thought Miss Darcy had put on a little weight and asked if there was something that she should do as her maid, to encourage her to keep her figure.  I had not one thought of it being anything else but . . .”  Her voice trailed off.

“She also mentioned Georgiana’s figure to Mrs. Reynolds.”  Elizabeth finished.  “And undoubtedly everyone else.” 

“So she must be let go.”  Darcy looked to Elizabeth.  “We must find her a position.”

“Of course.”  She nodded and looked to Judy.  “I understand that our neighbours, the Monroes, are looking for someone for their daughter.” 

“Yes, madam.”

“And a replacement?”  Darcy asked her.

“My sister, sir.  It will cause talk, I am sure, but that would be jealousy from the other maids not being promoted.  But she has recently lost her position as a lady’s maid.” 

Seeing his concern, Elizabeth smiled, “It was not for poor service.”  She looked to Judy.  “If the staff is unhappy, they can blame me for wishing to hire your sister due to my pleasure in your service and my hope that your sister’s experience will make her just as good with Georgiana.  I will be sure to personally welcome her before the staff when she arrives.”  Judy nodded.  “I will write to Mrs. Monroe immediately and as soon as I have an answer we will complete the change.” 

“Yes, madam.”  She curtseyed and sending a look at Darcy, she left the room.

Darcy left the dressing room and sank down onto the bed.  Elizabeth appeared and he opened his arms and pulled her forward to stand between his legs.  “I came up here to bother you and escape this mess.  I wanted to take you out into the sunshine and lift your spirits.”

“If you had just waited a few moments, you never would have heard a thing.  You must stop listening at doors.”  His cheeks coloured and she ran her hands through his hair then draped her arms over his shoulders.  “I think that you have missed me.”

“I heard that you were awake and it took everything in me not to run up the stairs.”  Darcy nudged open her nightdress with his nose and burying his face in her soft bosom, breathed in the comforting scent of roses on her skin.  “Georgiana apologized.  I question her sincerity, but at least she has made the gesture.”

Elizabeth rested her cheek on his head and kissed his hair.  “Three days, not too bad to inspire her to speak.” 

“I was sure it would be a week.”

“I think that my absence spurred her on.  She was forced to talk to you.”

“It has been painfully silent, love.”  Darcy looked up to her.  “How are you?  Are you ready to come back?  Please?  I know that it is selfish, but . . .”

She smiled and traced her finger down the soft hair on his cheek.  “I am much better.  I am sorry for withdrawing; I seem to remember chastising you for it recently.”