Impulse (49 page)

When I sat up, an aftershock slammed into me and he immediately responded—rocking me into continual pleasure with his hands on my hips as tiny bursts of light filled my head. I suddenly became keenly aware of the meaning behind “parting is such sweet sorrow”.

“That’s it. Give me
everything
,” he murmured. “I’m not leaving this bed until my female is sated.”

His words were all the stimulation I needed. I collapsed on his chest and pressed my soft lips to his throat, feeling the wonderful tickling vibration of his purr mingled with his racing pulse. He stroked my back and shoulders with a gentle touch.

When I started to pull away, my heart stopped. Something was
very
unfinished. I still felt him thick inside of me. “I thought you… weren’t you satisfied?”

He moaned. “Intently.”

“Then how come—”

Logan cleared his throat with a dark laugh. “Chitahs are known for our stamina.”

“Oh.” I smiled impishly. “Do you want to finish?”

Logan rocked with laughter. “Silver, you’re spent. Come lay beside me.”

He hissed when I rose and settled down on the mattress. Once his arms wrapped around me, I wondered why we’d waited so long.

“Is that how it normally goes for you?”

Logan slid my hips closer and the air stirred between us. “No. This was different. Twice I almost flipped my switch and that’s never happened before. I’ve never felt that out of control.”

“Not even with your mate or all the women henceforth?”

He snorted and pinched my arm. “Most of the females I’ve chosen were submissive in the bedroom with a few aggressive tactics.”

“Sounds like war.”

“More like routine. Some things come natural and most of the act is anticipated. But with you… I don’t know what to expect.”

Logan’s leg wove around mine. “Most females stay on their backs and that’s what I’m used to. I only let you get on top so that I wouldn’t get hit by your sex lightning.”

I burst out laughing. “That’s one way to put it.”

His soft kiss against my ear stirred another flurry of butterflies. “But I must say, Silver, I’m a converted man. We’re doing that again,” he decided.

“If Justus heard us, I’m going to die,” I mumbled against his chest.

“Nothing he hasn’t heard before. I’m sure,” he replied coldly. “They’re upstairs and I requested privacy.”

“You
didn’t
.”

He snorted. “I
thought
you needed rest. Had I known your intentions were otherwise, I would have asked them to drive into the city for the evening. Justus was working in his study when I came down.”

“Oh. Well in that case, he’ll be up there until the next eclipse. He’s a workaholic. Whether it’s HALO or those damn weights, he’s always busy with something.”

“Does he still make you work out?”

I shrugged. “Sometimes. Not as much as before, but we still have our sessions.”

“Well,” he said, grabbing the back of my thigh, “be sure to tell him that the training paid off.”

I kissed his chest lightly. “I’ll do that. Right before dinner I’ll commend him for getting me in shape for sex.”

We laughed quietly and soaked in the cool air that drifted over the bed. I enjoyed lying in his arms and realized how much I’d yearned for it—not just to be held by a man like it mattered, but by him. I would have never imagined that my contempt for Logan would grow to something more. As a Mage, I no longer had to worry about things like unsafe sex or pregnancy, but there was still that matter of my heart.

“Are you hungry?” I asked. “I can fix us a plate and we can eat in bed.”

“Absolutely not,” he snapped.

“Something wrong with my cooking?”

“You fix very delicious meals, but I draw a line. A Chitah male is never served by a female; it’s the other way around.”

“So I can never cook?” I almost liked that idea, but then again…

He sighed. “It’s as it should be.”

“Compromise with me, Mr. Cross. I’m not a Chitah. You like my enchiladas, right? Just imagine how empty your life will be if you could never enjoy them again.”

I sensed his smile in the darkness. “For you I will bend, but it won’t be easy. I respect that these are not your ways, but you have no idea how upset I was at the dinner party you gave.”

“What?” My brows knitted at the random comment.

“The one you had months ago when we first met; I helped you prepare and cook the food. When you walked in and served those males, I was coming out of my skin.”

I circled a finger around his navel and a few quiet minutes passed.

“I miss Finn,” I said quietly. “How’s he getting along with Lucian?”

Logan’s weight shifted and he patted the small of my back. “Little Wolf is making progress. I was quite impressed the night he left me,” he trailed off.

“Why?”

“Nothing. Schooling is what he needs; the rest will come with time.”

“It meant a lot to me that you took him in. Humans don’t take in strangers so easily. Maybe a sofa for a couple of nights, but then he’d be out on his own. If someone like Finn ended up on the streets, I don’t even want to imagine what kind of life he’d have.”

“There are many qualities about humans that confound me,” he grumbled. “I don’t know much about them, but you’re beginning to make me think that they’re not all bad.”

“Glad to oblige. It’s only been a year, but it feels like that part of me is still around sometimes. You really impress me, Logan Cross. Immensely.”

He turned on that deep motor in his chest that was barely audible and I felt it with the flat of my hand. He had no control over the sounds his body made, so knowing my touch or compliment could incite that response made it sexy as hell.

“When we first met, why did you get mad when I wandered off in the cave?” I asked.

“Has that bothered you this long?”

I shrugged. Sometimes little things settled in my mind, took residency, and paid rent. Perhaps I was searching for ways to disprove his claim that I was his kindred spirit.

He combed my hair back. “You almost fell to your death and it frightened me. My feelings were conflicted at the time. My apologies if I was cross with you.”

“You’re always cross, Mr. Cross,” I teased.

“Mmm,” he moaned, sliding farther down. His lips were impossibly softer against my mouth and I didn’t respond, letting him kiss each corner until he had his fill.

“I love our pillow talk,” I admitted. “Whenever we’re in bed this way, your guard is down.”

“I thought you were the only one with a guard.”

I squeezed his arm. “Even now you still intimidate me. Everything about the way you speak and carry yourself—maybe it’s because I know how dangerous you really are.”

“Never to you,” he quickly replied. “How’s your neck feeling?”

I touched the marks of Tarek’s bite on the right side of my neck, having almost forgotten.

“Not so bad.”

“Worry not,” he assured me. “Tarek’s blood will run cold if it’s the last thing on earth I see to.”

Logan overwhelmed me with his protectiveness; I wanted to roll myself up in it and bask in that devotion. The emotion was one that I struggled to embrace, but Logan made it easy because he allowed me to stand on my own two feet. I gained a sense of what relationships were like among his kind, and I recognized from the very beginning the allowances he made in order to respect my needs. Allowances even the human men in my life never gave.

“What’s it like? Being human,” he asked.

Curiosity played on his words like a bow on a violin. I was intrigued that he wanted to know more about my old life.

“It’s hard to explain,” I began, shifting to my side and slipping into the crook of his arm. “It’s like you’re living life with an expiration date. You live in denial that you’ll ever get old. I once I carried scars as reminders of events in my life.”

“Scars?”

“I had a small mark on my forehead where I hit it on the corner of a table when I was little. The only thing I remember about it was crying and my mom yelling at me. It’s hard to remember the details because I was only two or three. She said I was running from her because I didn’t want to put on a dress.”

Logan laughed heartily. “That’s my girl.”

“I was reborn in this new body with only one mark—Samil’s. Until now,” I said regretfully. “Now I’ll be reminded of Tarek.”

A low growl sounded from Logan.

“If their lives are so fragile, then why do they seem so alive?”

I sighed. “The uncertainty of your life gives you a greater appreciation for it. You don’t know from one day to the next if you’ll be healthy or even alive. Most immortals seem blasé about life because of its permanence. They don’t know the feeling of a phone call in the middle of the night that could mean someone you know is dead. One small mishap can become life altering. Then there’s cancer and other things that you can’t prevent. I didn’t have to deal with losing anyone. Maybe that’s why it’s hard for me to get close with people. How Adam survived the death of his entire family, I’ll never comprehend.”

“I’d like to discuss this with you more in detail sometime,” he stated. “Too morose of a subject when I have you naked in my arms.”

“Have you given any thought to looking up your sister?”

By the way his shoulders stiffened, I knew Logan wasn’t ready to discuss this. Sadie was the human infant his family had given up and it was a sensitive topic. Chitahs shared a human gene and were either born human or Chitah. Human babies were always given up. No exceptions.

Logan’s heart beat just a little bit faster beneath the palm of my hand.

“I would never want to put her life in danger. Look at what Tarek did to you,” he said angrily. “Why would I risk that with my flesh and blood?”

“Sometimes the risk is worth the consequence. I’m not going to drop this subject, Logan. I know how you feel about your sister. Your traditions serve to segregate your own family because these children are not immortal. Even if you choose not to raise them, they should at least know who they are and where they come from.”

“Would it have given you peace of mind growing up to know what you were?”

A question I’d never considered. “I don’t know, but how do you think I like finding out what I am at this stage in my life? Don’t you want to know what kind of woman she grew up to be? What if she’s alone and needs someone to help her? She won’t live forever, you know.”

He couldn’t conceal his conflicted feelings. Logan’s legs wrestled with the sheets and finally kicked them off. I rolled on my back, bending my knees and staring into the darkness.

“Yes,” he admitted, sitting up and scrubbing his fingers through his hair. “I want to know she’s being taken care of. We protect our females—our sisters—and it kills me to wonder if someone is looking out for her the way we would… the way I would. But our world has no place for a human.”

“Need I remind you of Sunny and Knox?”

I cringed when I heard the sternness in his response. “Need I remind you we had to put them in hiding?”

Touché.

“Not anymore, and by their choice. They understand the risk. You don’t have to bring her into our world, Logan. I’m not trying to force you to do anything that would put her life in danger. Stand in line behind her at the coffee shop and have a conversation. Check up on her and make sure she’s not struggling with paying rent. You could send the money anonymously.” My eyes stung from the realization that my own family was comprised of a mother who didn’t love me, and a cat. “You’ll regret it,” I said, throwing my arm over my face.

Logan moved my arm away and kissed the corners of my eyes. “Let’s continue this another time. I want to sleep beside you without tears.”

Since the moment he walked into my life, Logan offered nothing but comfort. Even in captivity, he fed and kept me warm beside the fire. I healed using the power he offered, and he protected me like a shield against the men that Nero had sent. Logan treated me with such reverence but as an equal. It didn’t seem like too much to ask to honor his request.

“Why did you bite me?” he suddenly asked in a rough voice.

“Sorry. I don’t know what came over me. Did I break the skin?”

“No,” he said absently. “Sometimes you behave in a way that’s very…”

“What?”

“Our females bite to incite the male to climax,” he said matter-of-factly. “It’s a primal barometer to let us know when they’re ready.”

“You see what you want to see,” I muttered, stroking the hard knuckles on his hand. “Do you think you can tolerate not being touched? It’s not a novelty, Logan. It’s something I’ll never be able to control if I want to give myself completely to you.”

Logan kissed my neck, making his way up to the edge of my jaw. “You touch me more than you know.” He eased back and his voice became humored. “Plus, we can try ropes.”

Skin smacked when I slapped his chest. “Behave, Mr. Cross.”

He caressed the rounded curves of my chest with his skilled hand. “Did you want this only because of your blindness—to test me?”