In Blood and Worth Loving 3 Kiss Cover (19 page)

Knowingly
?
Perhaps he hadn
’
t known. She shrugged.
“
We
’
ve all done things we wished we hadn
’
t.
”

“
Some more than others,
”
he said.

“
I love you, Conner. You know I have almost from the moment we met. I just wish you felt more for me than desire.
”

“
Where
’
s that famous intuition women are always going on about?
”

“
What does intuition have to do with this?
”

He sighed and shook his head.
“
If it was half as intuitive as it
’
s supposed to be, you
’
d know that I do feel more than desire for you.
”

Even while her heartbeat increased in anticipation of what else he might admit, s
he inhaled slowly but remained silent.

“
It
’
s because I do that I couldn
’
t control myself. I wish you understood and believed that I tried so hard not to hurt you.
”

Now, when she feared for his safety and life, she finally believed that. If she
’
d realized that sooner, maybe she wouldn
’
t have flirted with danger by even considering seeing other men. Then, maybe none of the events of the past weeks would have transpired.

“
I
’
m sorry it took me so long to realize that, Conner.
”

He caressed her breasts.
“
I need you.
”

She bit her lip and forced herself not to wince. Her breasts, like the rest of her body, were sore. The thought of him sucking them and pushing his cock inside her pussy, which still felt battered and bruised, sent a chill through her.

He sighed, allowing his hands to fall away from her breasts.
“
The feeling isn
’
t mutual. Is it?
”

For the first time since they
’
d met, she didn
’
t want sex with him. She experienced a sense of satisfaction in her certainty that if she said no, this time he was in control of himself enough to respect her choice. She thought of the two menacing full-bloods who had accompanied Hartford. If she said no, they might never get another chance to have sex under conditions where they both wanted it.

“
Of course it is.
”

He arched a brow.
“
But?
”
He touched her nightgown.
“
I
’
ve never seen you in such a long nightgown.
”

She moistened her lips.
“
I had a nightmare last night and fell out of bed. And I
’
m still a little bruised. And since I
’
d given up trying to attract you, I went for comfort rather than alluring.
”

He caressed her neck.
“
You
’
re sore?
”

She nodded, forcing herself not to look away from him.

“
Where?
”

“
Everywhere. I fell hard.
”

He slid a hand down to cup her breasts.

She bit her lip to keep from wincing. Hartford had sucked them hard and long while he
’
d droned on and on about her having his baby.

He leaned forward to brush his lips against her ear.
“
I need you. Are you too sore
–
?”

“
No. I
’
m not.
”
It would probably be hell to have him inside the pussy Hartford had fucked so long and roughly, but it was a risk she would take. She caressed his hair.
“
If you want me, take me.
”

He drew back to gaze in her eyes.
“
I don
’
t just want you, I need you, sweet. I have from the night we met and that need has been slowly consuming me since then.
”
He caressed her neck.
“
I know I said some hurtful things, but the rational part of me that has adored you all along, never meant any of them.

“
I need you to understand that I would not have raped you.
”

She felt fairly certain that given the right circumstances he was not only capable of it but that he probably would have actually done it. Of course, as Rayna had said, he would probably have regretted it
–
afterwards. Rape just didn
’
t seem to hold the same ugly connation to him that it held for her
; at least not
yet.

“
It doesn
’
t matter,
”
she said.

“
What you think of me matters to me, sweet. You are my sun, moon, and stars…my everything and you always will be.
”

Her eyes filled with tears. Now, when their time together could probably be measured in weeks instead of months, he finally admitted how he felt. She stretched out on the mattress, slowly inching her nightgown up her legs.
“
Close the curtains and love me as only you can.
”

“
You want the curtains closed?
”

“
I
’
m bruised.
”

“
Seeing bruises won
’
t decrease my need or desire.
”

“
I want this time to be as perfect as possible.
”

“
You do know that I can see in the dark, sweet.
”

Damn. Of course he could, but hopefully, he
’
d soon be too lost in her to notice that the bruises might look like fingerprints.
“
Close them,
”
she insisted.

He brushed his lips against hers and rose to close the curtains. With the room dark, she laid waiting for him to join her on the bed.

Instead of lying beside
of
or on top of her, he gently removed her nightgown before he lifted her right foot off the bed and brushed his lips along her toes.

Oh.

He nipped
her toes
and the
n
sucked each between his lips.

Oh. Damn. Nice. Her pussy flooded and her hips jerked off the mattress.
“
Conner,
”
she moaned.

He released her foot, slowly lowering it to the bed before he licked a moist, electric path up the inside of her leg. Each inch of skin his lips
caressed
sizzled with a cool heat that sent waves of pleasure all the way up her leg to her pussy where he planted a long kiss.

When she felt his tongue push against her clit, she knew even if sex with him hurt, the coming fuck was going to be worth every second of pain.

He trailed his cool lips down her left leg to her foot. Lifting it, he kissed and nibbled her toes before sucking each into his mouth.

“
Oh…Conner…Conner.
”

When he let her left foot fall on the bed, he slipped between her thighs to nuzzle her breasts.

She clenched her hands at her side and bit her lip. They were so sore and almost painfully tender.

He stiffened and lifted his head.
“
Did that hurt?
”

“
A little,
”
she admitted.

“
Why are your breasts sore?
”

“
I fell out of bed.
”

“
Onto your breasts?
”

She knew he didn
’
t believe her but prayed he won
’
t probe her thoughts.
“
It was a violent nightmare.
”

He sighed.
“
Do you want me to stop?
”

“
No.
”
She slipped her arms around his neck and drew his head back to her neck.
“
I just need you to be gentle if you can.
”

“
I can,
”
he whispered.
“
I don
’
t ever want to do anything else to hurt you.
”
He trailed his lips against her neck.

She managed to suppress the urge to cringe at the thought of his teeth piercing her skin until she realized he was kissing her on the opposite side from the one Hartford had fed from.

“
Kiss me,
”
she said, in an effort to keep his lips from moving across to the other side of her neck.

Although her lips felt bruised, she welcomed the cool pressure of his mouth against them. She knew he
’
d prefer nibbling at her throat and neck rather than kissing her, but he made sure she enjoyed it. He kept his lips gentle but insistent before he urged hers apart.

As he gently pulled her tongue into his mouth, he slid his fingers down to probe her pussy.

Despite her discomfort, she eagerly parted her legs. She had spent over a year fantasizing about this moment
when they were both eager to make love
. Now she was
ready
to feel him inside her
. It would
undoubtedly be painful
but she wanted it anyway
.

She wiggled her hips.

He adjusted his and pushed them slowly forward.

She bit her lip and clenched her hands into fists as he began the slow slid into her.

Halfway in, he abruptly stiffened and lifted his head from hers.
“
Shit!
”

“
What is it?
”
she asked, frowning into the darkness
“
What
’
s wrong?
”

He swore and pulled out of her to roll onto his side and then off the bed.

Confused, she sat up, dragging the sheet up to conceal her body before she reached over to turn on the bedside lamp.

He stood several feet from the bed staring at her. His incisors were bared and his eyes glowed. He radiated anger.

“
What
’
s wrong?
”
she asked again.

“
You
’
ve been with another man!
”
he tossed the accusation at her with the force of a deadly projectile.

Oh God. Please help me keep the truth from him.
“
I was hurt, lonely, angry, and afraid the last time we saw each. I wanted to get even with you, but it was a mistake. I
’
m sorry. Forgive me.
”

“
You slept with another man knowing I…
”
he spun around and stormed over to the window.

She bit her lip and struggled with her emotions and the irony of finding herself in the position of apologizing for being raped as punishment for something he
’
d done. But he didn
’
t know it had been rape and she must never let him know. No matter how she longed for the comfort of admitting it and having him hold and comfort her, she had to resist the urge.

“
How the fuck could you sleep with another man knowing how I felt about you?
”

Hearing the pain under the anger made keeping the truth from him much more difficult. Knowing he was as hurt as she
’
d been by his sleeping with other women also made it easier to ask for forgiveness for something she hadn
’
t done.

Tossing the sheet aside, she rose and walked across the room to stand behind him at the window.
“
But I didn
’
t know how you felt, Conner. You kept insisting we were never going to be any more than friends.
”
She placed a hand on his back.