In Blood and Worth Loving 3 Kiss Cover (20 page)

He shook it off.
“
I don
’
t give a fuck what I said! You knew how I felt about you!
”

“
How could I know?
”

“
How could you not know?! You think I spent all that time with you because I had nothing better to do?
”
He swung around to glare at her with his incisors bared.
“
How can you expect me to forgive such a hurtful betrayal?
”

He looked and sounded full of rage, but she felt a level of anguish in him that removed all traces of uncertainty about the depth of his feelings for her. Feelings he claimed to have always had but had steadfastly denied
;
causing them both needless grief and pain.

Finally she knew unequivocally that she was his blood.
“
I forgave you for sleeping with countless fems for over a year, Conner. I don
’
t think it
’
s unreasonable to expect you to forgive me for one lapse.
”

“
You slept with another man to be spiteful and to hurt me. Even though he left you bruised, you tried to conceal it from me by lying about falling. I slept with other women in an effort to keep from hurting you. The two situations are entirely different.
”

She swallowed hard, aching to admit the truth. It
stung
hav
ing
him think she
’
d deliberately tried to hurt him.
“
Regardless of your reason for doing it, you made no secret of the fact that you were sleeping with other women. You didn
’
t seem to care that I knew and was hurt by it. I tried to conceal what happened because I wanted to protect you!
”

“
I don
’
t require protection from the truth Desiree and I don
’
t like being lied to by you of all people.
”

“
Are you saying you can
’
t forgive me one mistake?
”

He reached out and jerked her close to him.
“
How dare you allow another man to touch you?
”

“
It was a mistake, Conner. People make them all the time.
”

“
Who was it?
”

Oh God. Please don
’
t let him probe my mind.
Fearful of the consequences of his doing just that, she sought refuge in feigned anger. She jerked away from him.
“
I don
’
t ever recall demanding you tell me who the hell you slept with! I didn
’
t ask even after that spiteful bitch answered your phone and called me fat
and asked if I wanted a threesome with her and you
! So you give me the same consideration. It was a mistake I regret more than you can possibly know so leave it the fuck alone! Please! Please just leave it alone and hold me so I know you forgive me as I
’
ve forgiven you.
”

She watched his Adam
’
s apple bob several times before he turned back to the window in silence.

The rage she felt emanating from him disheartened and hurt her. He wouldn
’
t forgive her even though she was trying to protect him from the knowledge that she
’
d endured a rape for something he
’
d done. Blinking back tears, she turned away.

Before she reached the bed, he followed her, and spun her around and into his embrace. He didn
’
t speak but she could feel a tremor in his big body and knew how much it cost him to forgive what he must view as an unforgivable act.

She clutched him close as tears streamed down her cheeks.
“
I
’
m so sorry, Conner. So sorry, honey.
”

He inhaled slowly and lifted his head from her neck to look at her. The bleak look in his eyes felt like a knife slicing into her.

“
I
’
m sorry,
”
she began again.

“
No.
”
He released her and stepped away.
“
I don
’
t want to hear you
’
re sorry.
”

She sucked in a breath.
“
Oh Conner. Please. What else can I say?
”

“
Nothing!
”

“
What?
”

“
Say nothing because nothing that
’
s happened between us has been your fault, Desiree. Not a single damned thing.
”

A wave or relief washed over her at his unexpected words.

“
It
’
s all been my fault. My lack of self-control. My refusal to accept and admit how I
’
ve felt about you since the night we met. And now I have to find a way to accept the fact that I
’
ve driven you into the arms of some bastard who bruised and battered you.
”

If only she dared tell him the truth.
“
It meant nothing, Conner. I thought of you the entire time and the bruises will heal.
”
Too bad the mental anguish would linger long after all outward appearances of the assault had vanished. She didn
’
t even want to think of her growing fear that she might be pregnant.

He
stepped closer
.
“
Who was it?
”

She shook her head.
“
It doesn
’
t matter.
”

“
It matters to me! You think I
’
m going to allow him to get away with treating you like this? Who the fuck did this to you Desiree?
”

“
I want to forget it and him. If you keep at me I
’
ll know you haven
’
t really forgiven me. And if you haven
’
t, I don
’
t see how you can expect me to forgive you!
”

He inhaled sharply and compressed his lips.
“
You can
’
t possibly think I
’
m going to let his treatment of you go unpunished.
”

“
I don
’
t just expect it, Conner. I demand it.
”

“
And why the hell would you do that, Desiree? Are you in love with him?
”

“
No! I just want to forget it ever happened.
”

“
So do I
–
after I beat him to within an inch of his miserable life.
”

She shook her head.

“
I could pluck his name from your mind.
”

“
You do and you
’
ll leave me in no doubt as to how little you think of me!
”

“
Desiree
–
”

“Don’t
you think I
’
ve wanted to punish the countless fems you slept with when you should have been with me? Don
’
t you think I hurt thinking about some other female giving you the comfort and pleasure you should have sought from me? If you say you have any real feelings for me, do one thing for me, Conner. Let this go! Please.

“
I know you
’
re hurt and angry but I was too. I won
’
t mention those fems again. I hated every minute of being with him and I just want to forget it and him.
”
She shuddered and leaned against him, sobbing.
“
Please. Please help me do that, Conner. Please!
”

He picked her up and carried her back to the bed where he held her in his arms without speaking until her sobs subsided. Then he eased her onto her back and slipped between her thighs. He pressed a cool, gentle kiss against her mouth.

She slipped her arms around him and whispered to him.
“
I love you so much, Conner. Please love me just a little.
”

He sighed.
“
I think I do.
”

“
What?
”
She pushed at his shoulders.
“
What did you say?
”

He reluctantly lifted his head to look down at her.
“
There
’
s nothing wrong with your hearing. You heard me.
”

“
Say it again,
”
she insisted, her heart pounding.

“
I said I think I do.
”

“
Oh Conner. Do you mean it?
”

He nodded.
“
I think I do.
”

“
You
think
you do?
”

“
All right. I know I do. I mean it.
”

He sounded and looked certain.

Or course with her luck, they were both almost certainly going to end up dead before she could fully embrace and savor his admission. But they could at least enjoy what was left of the night making love. If he could get past thinking she
’
d willingly slept with another man.

She stroked her fingers through his hair.
“
Show me. Make love to me.
”

He bent his head to kiss her.

His lips were cool and tender, his hands caressing the sides of her legs.

Although she suspected he wanted to fuck her, she knew he
’
d make love to her instead. And that
’
s what she needed most.

Rolling over onto his back, he continued to caress her while he kissed her with a smoldering passion that slowly warmed and then burned everywhere he touched. His gentle kisses and tender touches slowly chased away the remaining shadows of what Hartford had done to her
;
at least on the surface.

His patience and restraint allowed her the time she needed to wrap her mind around the fact that this would help atone for the horror of the previous night. With every movement, he made her feel as if she were desired and adored. Her passions gradually ignited.

By the time he turned her onto her back and urged her legs apart, she had mentally prepared herself to fully embrace having him inside her. Still, she winc
e
d as he carefully entered her. Then he surprised and disappointed her by immediately ejaculating inside her.

Her surprise increased as she felt the discomfort of having him inside her gradually diminished as he continued to come in her. When he finally stopped, he brushed his lips against her ear.
“
Is that better?
”

She frowned.
“
Yes.
”

He nibbled her ear.
“
Our semen has a healing quality which is small comfort for the fact that the majority of us shoot blanks.
”

God she hoped that included Hartford.
“
All of you?
”

“
Not all of us, but the older a full-blood is the less fertile his sperm is. Younger vamps have a much higher chance of becoming a father.
”

And Hartford had been a vampire for about forty years, which was very young for a full-blood. She turned her head to meet his lips.
“
Take me.
”
And give me a respite from my fearful thoughts.

He kissed her with a heated warmth until she was breathless before he gently moved his cock in and out of her.

Oh God. Yes. Yes. This was how she
’
d always imagined sex with him would be
when they both wanted and needed it from the first kiss
to
the last ejaculate
. She closed her eyes and rocked her hips in time with his.

He kept his movements slow and measured.