In Deep Waters (12 page)

But at what cost?

Even if the situation were different, his life wasn't. Ben only had room for two women in his life: Madison and the sea.

* * *

Kayla couldn't sleep. Her brain wouldn't turn off. Not with so much on her mind. The
Isabella
and Ben. She wasn't sure where one started and the other ended. But she'd come to a decision. She wanted to show Ben her research, and she didn't want to wait until morning. With her satchel in hand, Kayla knocked on Ben's cabin door.

The door cracked opened. Ben's eyes widened. She'd surprised him twice in one night. That had to be a record. Kayla smiled. "I hope I didn't wake you."

"I couldn't sleep."

"Me, neither." She shifted from foot to foot. "May I come in?"

He opened the door farther. As she stepped inside, Kayla was more aware of his surroundings than the first time she'd been here. She loved all of Madison's artwork decorating the walls. The photographs of her and the crew. This wasn't a cabin on a ship but a home, and all of it spoke volumes about Ben Mendoza.

"What's wrong?" he asked.

"Nothing's wrong. It's just..." She opened her satchel and removed the copy of her research on the
Isabella.
The original was stored at home in a safe. "I wanted you to see this."

He took the five-inch stack of paper. "What is it?"

Her palms were sweating. She hadn't been this nervous since her first date when Tony Bauer wanted to park up on Council Crest--otherwise known as make-out central. "My research."

"On the
Izzy?"

"Yes."

His eyes gleamed with interest. "Why?"

Good question. Kayla wasn't sure herself. Maybe she wanted to show him he wasn't chasing a pipe dream like
his father had so many times. Maybe she liked being part of the crew tonight and didn't want it to end. Maybe she wanted to share a piece of herself with him. Maybe she needed someone to tell her she was right. She smiled. "It's time."

Chapter Seven

Sunlight streamed through the porthole. Ben had sat in the same chair and read all night, but he wasn't tired. He didn't want to stop until he'd read every page.

This was it. Kayla did know what she was talking about.

He'd been a stubborn idiot for not giving her more credit. Hell, any credit. She might be a dreamer, but there was more to her than he originally thought. She'd used everything from the Spanish archives to a journal from an eighteenth-century astronomer to research the
Izzy.

He glanced over at his bed. She was sound asleep, curled up on her side facing him. Her chest rose with her even breaths and the corners of her mouth tipped up in a serene smile. Her hair spread out over his pillowcase. The image was as sexy as he imagined it would be. He was tempted to crawl into bed with her, to put his arms around her warm body and pull her close.

But he couldn't.

He rose, covered Kayla with a blanket and sat back in his chair. She didn't stir. He wanted to keep reading, but he also wanted to look at Kayla.

She blinked open her eyes. "Wh-where am I?"

"In my cabin."

Kayla bolted upright. "In your bed?"

"Yes."

"I fell asleep." She stared at him. "And you had to sleep in the chair. I'm so sorry."

"I didn't sleep, so don't feel bad." He motioned to the papers on his lap. "I've been reading your research."

Anticipation filled her eyes. Ben waited. She leaned toward him. Any farther and she'd fall off the bed.

"And?" she asked finally.

"It's... brilliant."

She started to speak. No doubt, to contradict him. And then she furrowed her brow. "You think?"

"I think."

Tension evaporated from her face. She tilted her chin, but her eyes reflected her gratitude. "I told you so."

"Yes, you did." He laughed. "You love what you do."

"Why do you say that?"

He patted her research. ' T read your work. Your passion leaps off the page."

"Thanks." Her wistful smile touched his heart. "I love my job. It's like being a detective and trying to solve a mystery from the past. When all the clues and pieces come together--" Kayla sighed "--there's nothing like it."

His gaze met hers. Neither spoke, but the silence was surprisingly comfortable. At least for him.

She pushed away the blanket and hopped off his bed. "I should get going."

He didn't want her to leave. But asking her to stay wasn't an option. Saying goodbye was the smartest thing he could do. Ben rose. "Can I keep this until I finish reading it?"

"Yes." She couldn't get to the door fast enough.

"Thanks."

An edge of her mouth curved. "You're welcome."

What was going on? This exchange was too polite. Too forced. Ben didn't like it. He didn't want to be acting this way with Kayla. They'd finally moved forward and he didn't want to take any backward steps.

She reached for the door handle.

"Wait." The word escaped before he had time to think. He wasn't sure what he wanted from Kayla but knew he didn't want her to leave.

She faced him, a questioning look in her eyes. His gaze dropped to her mouth. One taste. That's all he wanted. She parted her lips to speak, but Ben didn't give her a chance. He covered her mouth with his.

Impulsive, yes. Insane, definitely.

But he didn't care.

He didn't care about anything except kissing Kayla. He'd care later, but not now. Not when she felt so perfect in his arms. His kiss was light, gentle, controlled.

It wasn't enough. It would never be enough.

But any more was out of the question.

He settled for what he could have and drank in her sweetness.

Kayla leaned into him and deepened the kiss with an urgency all her own. Her hunger surprised him, intrigued him, excited him. As her hands splayed across his back, he pulled her closer. Her soft breasts pressed against his chest, and his blood burned. Forget about finding a lost treasure of gold and silver and jewels. He was holding
a living, breathing treasure in his arms. This was what he'd been searching for, what had been missing from his life.

It was only a kiss.

Yeah, right. Only a kiss that left him feeling invincible, as if he could conquer land and sea.

He wound his fingers in her hair, the strands as silky as he imagined. A soft moan escaped from her lips.

His control slipped a notch. And another. He drew the kiss to an end before he lost it completely. Ben stepped back.

Her eyes wide, Kayla stared up at him. A faint blush tinged her cheeks.

Silence stretched between them. Ben didn't like it. "I'm--"

"If you say you're sorry, I'm going to hit you."

Her reaction amused him, but Ben knew better than to smile. He was going to apologize, but not for that. He might have opened a can of sardines and added a boatload of complications to his life and the expedition, but he wasn't sorry for kissing her. "I should have asked you first."

"Asked me?"

"Asked pennission to kiss you."

"I would have said no."

"Then it's good I didn't ask." He was too much a gentleman to remind her of her reaction to the kiss. The hell he was. He lounged against the doorway. "Why did you kiss me back if you didn't want me to kiss you in the first place?"

Her bottom lip quivered. "I--I have to go."

She reached for the door handle again. This time he didn't stop her.

"Thanks," he said. "For...everything."

She nodded. He wanted her to say something. She didn't.

"See you later?" he asked.

Another nod. Not the response he wanted, but it would have to do. For now.

"You're up early."

The sound of Wolfs voice made Kayla look up. The big man was walking toward her, and she hadn't noticed him. She took her fingertips off her lips. Lips swollen and tingling from Ben's kiss. All she could think about was getting back to her cabin and processing what had happened.

"Yes." Her mind reeled. A coherent conversation was not possible. What had she done? Ben had complimented her research and he'd kissed her. She wasn't sure which she liked better, which one she needed more.

"You okay?" Concern filled Wolfs voice.

She wasn't okay. She didn't know if she would ever be okay again. Soft, gentle, caring. Ben's tenderness had surprised Kayla. A caress with his lips was how his kiss had felt. But she hadn't let it remain that way. No, a brush of his lips hadn't been enough for her. She had thrown herself at him. And enjoyed it.

Why had she told Ben she would have said no? That only made it worse after the way she'd reacted to his kiss. Was it possible to die from embarrassment?

"Kayla?"

"Long night."

"I know how that goes."

In this instance, she didn't think Wolf did.

"Get some sleep."

"Okay," she muttered.

Kayla sidestepped Wolf, continued walking to her
cabin as if on autopilot, and opened the door. Inside, her hand shook as she closed the door and clicked the lock into place. She would get through this. Somehow things would turn out fine.

It was only a kiss. A nice kiss. A nice, shatter-her-view-of-the-universe kind of kiss.

The memory made her knees wobble. She slid to the floor.

Her need for him shocked her. Then and now.

Her heart pounded, her pulse raced, and her stomach did half-gainers with quarter-twists. Goose bumps covered her skin, but she felt warm.

Oh, no. She nearly smacked her forehead.

All the weird feelings she'd experienced--the aches and pains, the itching and shivering. It wasn't an allergy or injury; it was Ben. Her attraction to him was manifesting itself in physical symptoms.

One mystery solved.

But that didn't make her feel better.

Kayla still had a problem. A big problem. And his name was Ben Mendoza.

"It's not worth a second look." Vance's nostrils flared. "We'd be wasting our time. What do you think, Kayla?"

"I'm not an expert." Earlier she'd studied the strip charts from yesterday's sonar scans, but she had another job at the moment--sitting on the lounge floor and coloring with Madison in her Little Mermaid book. "But it looks geological."

"Thank you." Vance smiled. "Take another look, Gray. See how it's rounded. That's geological. No question."

This target discussion between Vance and Gray had
been going on all day and intensified by the hour. Finding no other targets hadn't helped. The
Isabella
was out there. Kayla kept telling herself that. It was only a matter of time before the ship appeared on one of the sonar scans. They would break open the bubbly and celebrate. She picked up a purple crayon and colored Ariel's tail.

Gray massaged his temples. "After a couple hundred years on the bottom of the ocean, a target isn't going to look like a ship. It would be rounded. Amorphous."

Madison held her pink crayon in the air. "What's 'amorsus'?"

"Amorphous," Gray repeated with that great dimpled smile of his. "It means formless. It has no shape."

"Okay." Madison colored a seahorse pink.

Vance wasn't swayed. "It's geological and not worth a second look."

"They argue a lot, don't they?" Madison whispered.

"Vance and Gray aren't arguing," Kayla said. "They're having a discussion."

"What's going on?" Ben asked. "I can hear you all the way on the bridge."

What was he doing here? Being underfoot was one thing. This bordered on the ridiculous. No matter how hard Kayla tried, she couldn't avoid him. At least they weren't alone. She didn't want to discuss the kiss they'd shared yesterday.