In Name Only (47 page)

“Mr. David, Mr.
David!” Jane shook his shoulders.

David opened his
eyes and lifted his head.  His heart was beating wildly in his chest and he
could barely breathe.  He stared blankly at Jane then glanced down at Caroline
sleeping on the bed.
Thank God, it was just a nightmare
.

“Are you all
right, Mr. David?  You were moaning.”

“Yes, yes, I’m
fine now.”  He held onto Caroline’s hand and kissed it longingly.  Her fingers
were pale but warm and soft.  Her breathing was labored but, thank God, she was
still alive.

“Miss Caroline’s
a strong woman and she’s not ready to give up yet.  You wait and see.  She’ll
wake up any time now.”

He nodded, then
sounds of his son’s crying in the other room caused him to lift his head and
listen. For such a small person, their baby could make enough noise to wake the
dead.  When Kathleen was an infant, she hardly cried at all or perhaps he just
didn’t remember properly.  This little fellow sounded strong and hearty.

A few moments
later, the wailing stopped. Four days ago, the moment that he knew that God had
blessed them with a son, his heart was filled with joy.  Right now, however, he
couldn’t focus on his child, their baby, because he needed to remain beside his
wife.

“Mr. David, you got
to eat something.”

“I told you,
Jane, I’m not hungry.”

“Well, at least
let Kip give you a shave.”

He shook his
head.  Sounds of the baby’s crying again drew his attention to the open
doorway.

“Your son sure is
a screamer.  He nurses more than Miss Kathleen did, that’s for sure. He’s going
to be a big strapping fellow.”

“How is. . .the
wet nurse. . .doing, Jane?”

“Just fine.”

He cringed when
he thought of telling Caroline about the woman who was now nursing their son. He
hadn’t yet met her, but he trusted that Jane employed someone who was honest
and dependable.  When it was obvious that Caroline wouldn’t be able to nurse
their child, he had told Jane to find someone quickly.  Within minutes of the
wet nurse’s arrival, his son had finally become quiet.

“Papa, papa,” he
heard Kathleen squealing behind Jane.

“Hi, Kat.  I
trust you’ve been good for Jane?”

“I miss you,
Papa.”

He stood up and
wiped his eyes with the back of his hand.  He picked Kathleen up at the
doorway, sheltering her from the sight of her unconscious mother.

“Mama wake?”

“Soon, Kat,
soon.”

He placed her on
the floor and she began to jump up and down, her shoes making a tapping sound. 
“Come see baby, Papa.”

“Yes, well. . .” 
With a heavy heart, he glanced back at Caroline.  She remained still and
unmoving. 
Please let her wake soon
.

“Papa, the baby.”

“Yes, Kat, take
me to see the baby.”

She held up her
tiny hand and his much larger hand took hold. She led him toward the room which
Jane and Hallie had quickly set up as a makeshift nursery down the hall.  His
daughter pushed the door and it creaked open.  A woman with dark hair was
sitting in a rocking chair nursing his son.  When she saw David coming into the
room, she inhaled a quiet gasp.

“Mr. David, I’m
so sorry.  I didn’t know you were coming.”  The girl took the baby from her
breast and fumbled with her dress, pulling the front of it together.  She laid
the baby on her shoulder and began to pat his back.

“Missy?”  His
mouth was open.  He let go of Kathleen’s hand. 

“Yes, Mr. David.”

“You’re the wet
nurse?”

“Yes. Jane said
you needed someone to nurse the baby. I can’t tell you how sorry I am that Miss
Caroline isn’t doing well.”

“You’re married?”

“Well, no, but I
do have a baby.”

“Oh.”

“He’s in there.” 
She pointed to a crib at the other end of the room.  “He’s five months old.”

“Papa, see baby.”

For a moment,
David remained at the doorway, his head lowered.  Out of the corner of his eye,
he saw Missy approach him.  “Here, Mr. David, why don’t you hold your baby.”  She
held out his son and he carefully took him and placed him on his shoulder. 
“Yes, thank you,” he said, stepping into the hallway and away from the nursery.

“Mr. David,
you’ve finally come to see your son,” Jane said, as she walked up to him.

“Missy is the wet
nurse?”

“Yes.  I knew she
had just birthed a baby five months ago and needed a place to stay.  You told
me that I had to get someone quickly.”

“Yes, but. .
.well, I suppose that can’t be helped now.”

The baby gurgled
and cooed on his shoulder.  Smells and sounds suggested that he had filled his
diaper, so he handed him to Jane and returned to keep vigil beside his wife.

Chapter 59

Caroline
attempted to open her eyes. It felt like her eyelids were made of lead or as if
someone was holding them shut.
Please, Lord, help me to open my eyes
. 
Her entire body hurt and it seemed like every ounce of energy had been drained
from her.

She finally
managed to lift her eyelids partway and found herself staring at the ceiling of
David’s room.  The oil lamp was turned down, but there was enough light to see
her surroundings.

Where is my
baby?

Something heavy
was on her right hand, but her head was like an immovable rock.  When finally
she was able to move her head, she saw that David’s head was laying there, the
rest of his body in a chair beside the bed.  She pulled her hand from under his
head and caressed his face.  It was rough with several days’ worth of stubble,
practically a beard. His curly hair was disheveled. 

Immediately, he
sat up.  “Caroline,” he whispered.  His red, moist eyes brightened.

“Baby,” she tried
to mouth.

“What?”  He
leaned closer to her face.

Her tongue felt
thick and she had to swallow twice before she could get the word out.

“Ba. . .by,” she
whispered, slightly more pronounced.

“The baby is
fine.  He’s in the nursery with Jane and the. . .”

“How long have I.
. .” she whispered.

“Five days.”

She softly wept,
as she lacked the energy to cry more loudly.

“Shhh.  You’re
going to be fine now.”  He pushed the hair off her face and kissed her
forehead.

“Name.”  Her eyes
had a faraway expression.

“Name?  You mean
of our son?”

She nodded.

“John Liam.  I
hope that is acceptable.”

She mouthed,
“Yes.”  She began to shiver, her teeth chattering.

“Just a moment. 
I’ll get you another blanket.”

Within a few
seconds, he was laying a woolen blanket on top of her quilt.  She continued to
tremble.

“I’ll put a few
more logs in the fireplace. It is rather cool in here.”

She closed her
eyes and listened to him throwing logs onto the fire, then clapping his hands
of the dirt. His footsteps grew closer. He lifted up the blankets then crawled
in beside her.  Her breathing slowed and in a few minutes, she stopped shaking.

“Love. . .you,”
she whispered, her eyes still closed.

“Caroline, I 
love you so much.” His words became soft, quiet sobs.

She opened her
eyes , turned slightly toward him and leaned her head against his chest. 
Caroline slowly lifted her hand to his face and wiped his tears.

“I was so afraid
that you would. . .”  She put her finger to his mouth to stop him from
continuing.

“I’m going to be
fine,” she whispered.

“Yes.”

Caroline’s
stomach began to make noises. “Hungry.”

“Of course.  I’ll
wake Jane up and she’ll prepare something for you.”  He checked his pocket watch. 
“It’s 5:00 in the morning. Soon time for her to wake.”

She shook her
head.  “Don’t.”

He ignored her
and rushed out the door.  Within minutes, the servant stood by her bed.

“Miss Caroline,
I’m so happy to see you awake.  Now, I don’t mind one bit getting you something
to eat.  Would you like to try some consommé?”

She nodded.

Later than
morning, Caroline sat up in bed as Jane spoon fed her some beef consommé.

“Just one more
spoonful and you’ll get to see your baby.”

“I’m afraid I
can’t take anymore, Jane.”

“You’ve only had
about four spoonfuls.”

“I’m sorry.”

David stopped
shaving and stood near her bed. “You’ve done a splendid job. That’s a good
start.”

“I need to feed
our baby.”

“No, Caroline,”
he paused. “We’ve gotten someone for him.”

She shook her
head.  “But I ought to feed him.”

His eyes reached
out in a tender attempt to comfort her. “You can’t, Caroline.  The doctor says
that you’re too weak.”

Her eyes filled
with tears at the thought of her baby who was now being suckled from another
woman’s breasts.

“Don’t worry. 
He’s being taken care of.  You need to worry about getting better.”

“I want to see
him.  Please bring him to me and I want to see Kathleen too.” 

“Allow me to
finish shaving.”

There was a knock
followed by Jane opening the door. “Mr. David?  Mr. Edward and Miss Elizabeth
are here.”

“Send them in.”

Uncle Edward and
Elizabeth approached Caroline’s bed. In her cousin’s hands was a large box.

“Well, my dear,”
Uncle said, “I suppose you don’t remember, but Elizabeth and I visited a few
days ago.”

“Carrie, I was
sick with worry for you.”

“I’m sorry I gave
you both such a scare.”

“Your husband
over there is the one who was the most worried,” Uncle said, as he leaned down
and kissed the top of her head. 

“Carrie, I
crocheted this quilt for you.  I wasn’t sure whether you would have a girl or
boy, so I made it green and white.”  Elizabeth opened up the box to show
Caroline.

“It’s lovely and
I shall treasure it.”

Uncle turned to
David.  “You’re also looking much better today.”

“It could be
because I am in the process of removing four days’ growth of beard.” 

“Carrie, have you
seen your new son?  He is the most beautiful baby boy I have ever laid my eyes
on!”

“No, not yet.”

“I intend to
bring the baby in a few moments,” David offered.

Another knock at
the door and Jane’s voice called out, “Mr. David, Dr. Mayfield is here.  Shall
I send him in?”

“Yes, of course.”

Caroline
cringed.  She felt awkward around Dr. Mayfield and dreaded an examination by a
male physician.

“We must be
leaving and allow you to rest.  Come, Elizabeth.”

“Of course,
Papa.  Carrie, I shall come back tomorrow and play a card game with you.  Would
that be fine with you?”

“Yes, Lizzie.  I should
like that very much.” 

Uncle and
Elizabeth passed Dr. Mayfield as he entered the room. He nodded, then removed
his hat.  Caroline forced a smile as she looked at him.

“Mrs. O’Donovan,
you’re looking much better than you did just a few days ago.” He stood by the
bed and deposited his satchel on the chair.  He removed the blanket from her
and lifted her nightgown. She turned her head away from him and tensed her body
as his hands kneaded her abdomen, listened to her heartbeat and felt her
pulse.  When he pulled her nightgown down and covered her, she exhaled and
looked up.  Dr. Mayfield approached David on the other side of the room. He
spoke in a hushed tone.

“Remember what I
said. . .you can’t. . .your wife’s weak. . .she can’t. . .”  She watched as
David nodded and answered, “Yes, Doctor.  I understand.”

“Doctor?”
Caroline called.

He turned to face
her.

“What are you
saying to my husband?  I heard ‘wife.’”

“No need to worry
about what I said.  I will leave that to your husband.”

Caroline lowered
her head.

“Well, good day,
Mrs. O’Donovan.  Make sure you take the eating slowly, but keep it constant. 
You need to regain your strength.”

After he left,
Caroline stared at her husband.  He was toweling the shaving cream remnants off
his face.

“David?”

“Yes?”

“What was the
doctor whispering about?”

“I have a gift
for you, Caroline.”