In the Line of Duty (4 page)

Matt shot her a look of amusement. “Your mom’s saying it’s time to go,” he said smoothly, and she sighed. Apparently she was transparent, as well. “And I’ve got to get Aldo home, too.”

“Can we take him for a walk sometime?” Eli asked hopefully.

Callie frowned at him. “Eli! Where are your manners?”

He frowned back at her, then brightened. “Please?”

Matt started to cough, which Callie guessed was an attempt to hide a laugh. Her own lips twitched in spite of herself. “While that’s better, I meant that we don’t just invite ourselves along. And it’s time to go home. We haven’t even made it into the house yet and we’ve been gone all day.” To Matt she said, “Thanks for bringing Aldo over. They clearly enjoyed it.”

He sent her a slow smile, as if he knew she was running away. “I don’t mind.” He gave Aldo a tug on the leash and the dog stood up reluctantly. “See you tomorrow.”

“Yeah, see you,” she muttered as he walked away. She did not watch him go. Instead, she herded her boys up the sidewalk and into their own house. The usual winter chaos of shedding coats and boots and backpacks, and hanging everything up where it should go, made her feel as if she had four kids instead of two.

But it wasn’t enough to distract her from the fact she’d invited Matt to dinner.

* * *

“I want a dog like Aldo,” Eli said wistfully the next morning, and Callie sighed. This was the hundredth time since last night she’d heard them mention a dog.

“I know, sweetie. But we can’t take care of one right now. Did you brush your teeth?” When he nodded too swiftly, because she knew him so well, she pressed, “With toothpaste?”

He shot her a look that said
busted
and headed back to the bathroom. Callie couldn’t help but grin. He was a sneaky one, her Eli. She had to be very specific when it came to things he didn’t particularly enjoy. According to her mother-in-law, Jason had been the same way as a child.

Callie helped Liam get dressed and took him in to brush his teeth, as well. “Doggie?” he asked hopefully, and she tapped him under the chin, looking into his big brown eyes.

“Not right now.” To redirect him, and try to avoid a meltdown, she asked, “Is Mr. P in your backpack?”

He trotted off in search of the stuffed penguin. Callie shut her eyes for just a moment and leaned on the vanity. She was going to have to do something to shut down this dog thing. It was so hard to say no to them, but as she’d told Matt, they were gone almost all day. That wasn’t good for a dog. They could probably manage a cat, but even that she felt guilty about. And none of it was easy to explain to little kids.

Everything gathered, she herded the boys out the door and over to Colleen’s. Callie left them with hugs and kisses, and headed to work.

There had been a time when she and Jason had discussed opening her own salon. After the kids were a little bigger, they’d agreed. Well, they were bigger, and she still hadn’t taken the strides to pursue the dream. Wasn’t sure if she wanted to anymore. Wasn’t sure why she wouldn’t want to.

Lori knew it had been in her future plans, but didn’t press her in any way. She’d never discouraged her dream, but had stated she’d hate to lose Callie as an employee. And it was comfortable, working at the Time For You Salon. The routine, the clients she loved, Lori as her friend and boss. None of it involved any real risk to herself, that could end up with her and her boys on the street if she failed. There was no Jason with a financial safety net to fall back on if it didn’t work out.

So she’d filed the dream away.

And tried to ignore the little twinge of regret.

* * *

“She said it wasn’t a date? Interesting,” Marley commented, and exchanged a glance with Brice.

Matt looked up at his friend’s wife—and fellow guide—sharply. “Why do you say that?”

“Because if she has to frame it as a non-date, she was thinking of it as a date.” When he blinked at her, Marley leaned over and smacked his arm lightly. “Matt. Follow along. She’s making her boundaries clear. She’s doing that because either she’s getting vibes from you or she’s trying to convince herself it’s what she wants.”

He tipped his chair back. “I’ve never gotten any vibes from her.” Not true. She’d been giving off stay-back vibes from day one. She’d all but busted out a cross and garlic. But that was a blow to the ego he didn’t need to share.

Marley raised a brow. “Then you’re giving them off.”

Matt shook his head. “I don’t think so, Marley. I knew her husband. We were neighbors, best friends when we were kids. I was in their wedding, for God’s sake. So no. There are no vibes.” How stupid was he to bring it up to Marley? When she’d invited him to dinner with her and Brice, he should have said no and left it at that, instead of saying he was going to Callie’s.

Marley looked at him for a long moment, then shook her head. “She feels threatened by something or she wouldn’t lay it out straight like that. And no wonder. All that history with her husband. Is she going to...” She paused.

“Is she going to what?”

“Confuse you with him?”

Matt’s gut clenched. “I don’t think so. Jason and I, we were nothing alike.”

The phone rang and Marley got up to answer it. “Just be careful.”

Her words rang in his head after she left. Was Callie feeling threatened by something? What it could be, he didn’t know. The only real contact they’d had centered around Aldo, and a couple brief and awkwardly polite conversations. Nothing truly personal. Sure, he found her appealing and was definitely attracted to her, but he wasn’t going to let on or act on it. She was as off-limits as a woman could get. And he wasn’t interested in getting involved with her, anyway.

Was he?

CHAPTER FOUR

C
ALLIE
STARED
AT
the mess in the living room the next evening. It sure hadn’t taken long for Eli and Liam to make it appear as though a tornado had slammed through their toys. It didn’t matter, it didn’t matter, she chanted in her head. This was just a friendly dinner. Still. She couldn’t help herself. “Boys, can you please put the Legos back in the boxes? We don’t want Mr. Bowden to step on them.” Or the dog to eat them, for that matter. She’d let them leave the plastic containers in the living room. To have it too clean was to risk having him think she’d gone to a lot of trouble for him and
it was just a friendly dinner
.

Clearly, she had some issues.

The clatter of the plastic blocks hitting the boxes followed her into the kitchen. She’d made mac and cheese as promised. From scratch, using her mother’s recipe. It was a dish the kids loved, and it smelled divine. She had the fixings for a salad, as well. The whole meal was pretty easy, which was good, because she kept getting distracted by the thought of Matt in her house, sitting at her table.

Deep breath.

The timer went off, five minutes before he was due to arrive. She pulled the steaming dish out of the oven and placed it carefully on the stove top.

“Is it ready, Mama? We’re hungry,” Eli said, standing a safe distance from the oven.

“Almost,” she said with a smile. “Why don’t you guys wash up and then he should be here. We’ll eat right after that.”

“All right!” Eli shouted as he turned and headed back to Liam. Callie’s smile slipped. Was she doing the right thing, bringing this man into her children’s lives? What if they got attached, something happened and he had to leave? She had no reason to think he was staying. Hadn’t Jason said the army suited Matt because he didn’t like being tied down?

“Just a friendly dinner,” she mumbled to herself, and her pulse jumped when the doorbell rang. She laid a hand on her belly and took a deep breath to settle her nerves as she walked to the door. She pulled it open and flat-out forgot to breathe. He wore jeans and a plaid oxford shirt, and smelled so good she thought she’d tip forward right into him. Aldo stood next to him, tail wagging like crazy. He had a spiffy blue bandanna tied around his neck.

“Hi,” she said, and sounded only a little breathy.

“Hi.” His voice was amused, and she snapped out of her idiocy and stepped back as the boys came running into the room. He held a bakery box. “Cookies from The Sweet Stop. I figured that was better than wine, what with the kids and all. That okay?”

She accepted the box and shut the door behind him. A glass of wine might very well have taken the edge off this evening. But she was truly touched by his thoughtfulness. “Perfect. The kids’ll love them. Thank you.”

The boys came closer. Eli zeroed in on the bakery box. “Oh, look, Liam! Cookies!” Identical pleading gazes swung from the box to her face. “Can we have one?”

“Not until after dinner,” she told them, and nodded to Matt. “You can put your coat on the back of the chair there. Aldo is welcome to hang out here.”

“Can we pet him?” Eli asked, and Matt nodded, unsnapping the leash.

“Sure.” He grinned as both boys practically fell on the dog.

“Good thing I had them wash up for dinner,” Callie said with a rueful little laugh as she started for the kitchen.

“Oh.” Matt stopped, looked back, chagrin clear on his face. “Sorry. I didn’t think about that.”

Of course he hadn’t; he wasn’t a parent. “It’s fine. Sit down, guys,” she called over her shoulder. “You can pet him after we eat.” To Matt she added, “You can have a seat.”

But he followed her into the kitchen. “I can’t let you serve me,” he said, when she turned to protest. He stood so close, all she could smell was his scent. His words were teasing, but his eyes were—well, not so much. There was a heat in them she wasn’t ready for. She swallowed hard. There really wasn’t anywhere for her to go if she stepped back. And darn it, she didn’t want to step back.

“Um. Okay.” She spun around quickly and pulled the plates out of the cupboard. “I’ll dish it up, you can serve it. That work for you?” Her voice was a little too high and her hand a little too unsteady, so the plates rattled against each other as she set them down. Matt stepped back and she moved around him to grab the salad. She pulled out two bottles of salad dressing, ranch and Italian. “Which, if either, do you like?”

“Ranch is fine,” he said. “Do the kids get any?”

“Eli does. Liam’s not really a fan.”

He chuckled and the sound hit her down low. Very, very low. Goodness.

She turned to the stove and managed to dish up the fragrant, gooey casserole without spilling any. Her handoffs to Matt were carefully managed so she didn’t accidentally touch his hand. If he noticed she was being overly careful in her movements, he didn’t let on.

“What would you like to drink?” she asked him as she turned to the fridge. “I don’t really have any man drinks.” She hadn’t stopped to buy anything, either, thinking it would be too much. In fact, she’d done a great job of overthinking everything about what was supposed to be
just a friendly dinner
.

He arched a brow as she put the half gallon of chocolate milk on the counter. “Man drinks? I can’t have chocolate milk, too?”

Her face burned. That had been a stupid way to put it. “Oh. Of course you can.”

He moved in a little closer. “I’m just teasing,” he said softly. “I’m sorry. Water is fine.”

She busied herself with the drinks and was relieved when Matt left the kitchen. She gathered up the glasses and joined them at the table. Aldo, she noticed, had lain down underneath it. He didn’t lift his head from his paws, but he did thump his tail.

Both boys were peering under the table.

She managed not to smile. “Guys. You need to eat, then you can play with Aldo. Okay?”

Matt jumped in. “He doesn’t mind waiting. I fed him before we came over here.” To Callie, he said, “This is great. I’ve only ever had mac and cheese from a box.”

She laughed. “I’ll make sure I tell my mom. It’s her recipe. Usually if the kids have mac and cheese, it’s from a box. But this version—” she stopped herself from saying
is for special occasions
and finished “—is for company.”

Eli was not to be deterred by small talk. “We can’t have a dog.” This was accompanied by a sideways look at Callie. She took a bite of her mac and cheese to cover her smile.

Matt glanced at her casually. “Your dad wanted a dog when he was a kid, too.”

Eli’s eyes got huge. “He did? How do you know?”

Callie held her breath. This was what worried her, bringing Jason in so suddenly like this. Matt smiled at Eli. “We were neighbors when we were growing up, like you and I are now.”

“Our dad died,” Eli told him. “That means he’s not here anymore, but he watches us from heaven.”

Callie’s throat tightened at the matter-of-fact delivery, and she saw a mirror of her own sorrow flash across Matt’s face. “I know,” he said and his voice was steady. “But he and I were best friends from the time we were your age, Eli.”

Eli frowned. “You were a kid?”

Callie nearly choked on her mac and cheese, and she heard Matt’s muffled laugh. “Of course he was, Eli,” she gasped. “All grown-ups were kids once.”

“You okay, Callie?” Matt asked, the sorrow in his gaze replaced by amusement.

“Fine,” she managed to reply. She reached for her water glass. Kids and their impeccable timing.

Matt told them stories about their dad, about the dog he never did get, though not for lack of trying, and Callie was relieved Matt worded things in such a way as not to encourage them to take matters into their own hands. The last thing she needed was to have them decide to get a dog on their own, which was actually how the story of Jason wanting a dog had ended. His parents had made him return the puppy, and he’d ever afterward teased them that he was still traumatized from the incident, even as an adult.

When the main course was over, she brought in the box of cookies and let them choose one beautifully decorated sugar cookie each. Matt had bought cookies in the shapes of trains and trucks, which were a hit, of course. When the kids went to wash up, she began to clear the table.

He helped her pick up the plates, but she shooed him out of the kitchen. “It’ll only take me a few minutes to do this.” Also, she was far less likely to drop something if he wasn’t right there, taking up all the air in the room and making her nervous.

He put the plates in the sink. “All right. I’ll go play with the boys, if that’s okay.”

“That’s fine,” she murmured, and tried not to focus on the rear view as he left the kitchen. She shut her eyes instead. Then opened them quickly when she realized how stupid she’d look, standing there with her eyes closed, if he turned and caught her.

Callie heard the rattling of the Lego bricks as the boys opened the cartons, and then the chatter of their voices and the lower tones of Matt’s. While it was a happy sound, it still made her heart hurt. She braced her arms on the counter and let her head fall forward.

Tears blurred her vision for just a moment. Jason had never gotten the chance to play with Lego sets with his sons. They’d been far too little when he died. Liam hadn’t been two yet. It should have been Jason in there—but it wasn’t, and no amount of wishing would make it so.

She shrugged her shoulders and focused on cleaning the kitchen. It was sweet of Matt to make time for her boys. After all, they were an important link for him, too, to the friend he’d lost.

She went out there after she’d put the last plate in the dishwasher. Truthfully, she could have waited on cleaning up. It was a pretty simple meal. But it was a kind of buffer between her and these weird feelings she was experiencing toward Matt, and she needed to shore up her defenses again. Laughter—and a friendly bark—erupted from the living room, and she dried her hands on a towel before she went back out to see what was going on. She had to pause when she caught sight of them.

Both boys were piled on Matt, and he was laughing along with them. Aldo was in there, too, tongue lolling and tail going a mile a minute. Lego towers had collapsed and scattered—maybe due to the tail—and she thought there was a block under Matt’s hip, but he never let on. The boys laughed gleefully, full-on belly laughs that made her smile even as her heart stuttered. She made herself walk in there, and hoped her pounding heart wasn’t obvious to Matt.

“Wow, what are you guys doing to Mr. Bowden?” she teased, and he caught her eye with a wink. Her mouth actually went dry. If a man playing with her kids could make her all mushy inside—and it wasn’t as if there weren’t people to play with them—what did that mean? Why this man? Why now?

“We’ve got him, Mama!” Eli shrieked, and Liam laughed his big baby laugh. She opened her mouth to say something about indoor voices, but then closed it again.

“I see that. Don’t hurt him, guys,” she said instead, and they laughed harder. She sat on the couch and tucked her feet under her and watched the show, amusement warring with worry. This was not what she’d expected to happen. This was...bonding. Aldo came over and sat in front of her, his big head cocked to the side. She gave in and rubbed him between the ears, but couldn’t quell the feeling that she needed to stop this. Now. Before it got any worse.

She clapped her hands to get their attention. “Okay, guys, pick up. Time to get ready for bed.” She couldn’t have bonding. That was bad. It meant they were becoming emotionally attached to Matt, which meant they could get hurt. Matt must have heard the slight edge of panic in her voice, because he looked up and caught both boys in a hug.

“You heard your mom. Let’s get this cleaned up.” Over the grumbles, they all picked up, then Callie directed them toward the bedrooms to collect their jammies and get ready for baths.

“Thanks for coming,” she said, knowing she was being unspeakably rude to practically shove Matt out the door like this, but unable to stop herself. To his credit, he swiftly snagged his jacket, snapped on Aldo’s leash and moved toward the door.

“Thanks so much for dinner, Callie,” he said, and she couldn’t meet his eyes.

“You’re welcome,” she managed to reply, and shut the door behind them. Then she could breathe again, once he wasn’t taking up all the oxygen in the whole house. She rested her head on the door. Now she felt crappy for booting him out, but it had all been way too cozy for her peace of mind.

She couldn’t risk it.

* * *

Matt walked home slowly. Callie’s neighbor, who did day care in her home, was getting out of her car as he and Aldo came down the front steps. He returned her wave and didn’t miss, even in the gathering darkness, the look of blatant speculation she sent toward Callie’s house.

Callie wouldn’t like that.

Not after what he’d seen in her eyes. Panic, pure and simple. Somehow he’d crossed a line and it had freaked her out. All evening she’d watched him carefully, clearly not comfortable with him in her house as he played with her kids. She’d been especially spooked when the currents between the two of them flowed hot. But she’d made the effort to be friendly for her children’s sake, and for the sake of her husband’s memory.

Matt kicked a stone as he walked up his own driveway. He’d like to chalk this evening up to a favor for a buddy’s widow, but it was clearly more than that. He was attracted to her, and that was something he’d have to quash if he wanted to be around her and her boys. Clearly, the whole idea was unpalatable to her.

Aldo whined as Matt unlocked the door, and he rubbed the dog’s head. “Want to go for a run?” he asked, and Aldo responded with the whole-body wiggle and a yelp. “All right. Let me change and we’ll go.”

One thing he’d always loved was night runs. It wasn’t something he’d been able to do in Afghanistan. So he and Aldo headed out into the cool night. Chilly, but not raining or snowing. The sidewalks were mostly snow-free, because it had been warm enough to do some melting today. Pretty decent for late March in Michigan. The streets were quiet enough, some traffic, but he wanted to avoid too much foot traffic. It made Aldo nervous, and Matt had made too much progress with the dog to undo it now. Not unlike Callie, he supposed. She was fighting her own personal war and there wasn’t much he could do. He didn’t know what Jason would want him to do. Watch out for them, sure. Make certain she was okay and maybe even happy. But Matt didn’t think that was what Callie wanted. He wasn’t sure what had spooked her tonight—though he could guess. He’d clicked with her kids.