In the Shadow of the Shield (Secret Lives Series Book 2) (7 page)

An orderly walked into the room and started setting her bed up for the trip to the imaging lab as Doctor Barrington left.

The test moved along fairly quickly, and an hour later she was back in her room, waiting with Jackson for the results.

“Why were you so worried about me setting the alarm last night?” Jackson asked as he flipped through the channels on the television.

“Because you were home alone, and I was concerned about you. I’m your mother, it’s my job.”

“I stay home alone all the time.”

“I know, but not like this.”

“Like what?”

“What’s the problem, Jackson? I simply asked you to set the alarm. That’s why we have one.” Why was he pushing the issue? She always told him to set the alarm at night.

“I don’t know. Something seemed off when I talked to you.” If she told him the real reason, Jackson would worry, and she didn’t want that. On the other hand, if she didn’t tell him and then something happened to her—or worse, him—that would be exponentially worse. Of course, there was the possibility that nothing at all would happen to either of them. Carter promised to look into things during the day and talk to her more about it that night. She could wait until after she talked to Carter, and then decide if she wanted Jackson to know about his father’s death.

“It was nothing, Jackson. Maybe some nerves from the accident. Did everything go okay last night?”

“For the most part. The phone rang a couple of times, but no one was there when I answered. Probably a wrong number. Oh, and this was stuck to the door this morning when I left.”

He pulled a white envelope from his pocket and handed it to her. Her name was printed in tiny letters on the front. Otherwise, the envelope had no markings on it.

With shaking hands, she broke open the seal and looked inside. Inhaling sharply, she dropped the envelope to her lap and let out a little cry.

“Mom? Mom, what is it?”

She picked up the envelope and dumped the contents into her lap. Jackson gasped as a plain gold band picked up the midday sun.

“Is that Dad’s wedding ring?”

She poked it gently with her finger, almost afraid to touch it. She finally picked it up and held it between two fingers, peering inside. The familiar inscription,
‘
Blessed Are The Peacemakers,’
brought tears to her eyes. She had chosen that inscription for their wedding day herself, when Donnie was barely a rookie on the force.

“Yes.”

“I thought the hospital lost it.”

“Me too.” She slipped the wedding band over her thumb. Donnie had had large hands; the ring was much too big for her, but she was comforted by the weight of it on her hand.

“So, how did it end up taped to the front door?”

“Good question. I wonder if one of the guys found it somewhere and dropped it off, but didn’t want to wake us.”

Or maybe someone has had it all along and is now trying to send a message.
She slipped the ring off and held it tight in her palm. She could almost feel Donnie with her. Diana didn’t care if aliens had dropped it off in the middle of the night; she was beyond thankful to have it back.

“Are you crying, Mom?”

She blinked back tears and sniffed. “Maybe a little. I just miss your dad.”

“I know, I miss him too.”

“If you don’t mind, I think I am going to close my eyes and rest for a few minutes before the doctor comes back. I have a bit of a headache.”

“Maybe I’ll run down to the cafeteria then and get something to eat.” As if on cue, Jackson’s stomach let out a loud rumble. They both laughed.

“There’s money in my wallet. Go ahead and grab some. I don’t want the staff here to think I starve my boy.”

He leaned down and kissed her on the cheek. “Thanks, Mom. I won’t be gone long, I promise. And I am glad you got Dad’s ring back.”

She let out a long sigh. “Me too, honey. Me too.”

The appearance of Donnie’s ring actually worried her a great deal. She debated whether to call Carter, or wait until he dropped by the house later that evening. Why would the ring suddenly show up now, a year after Donnie’s death, and a day after someone tried to kill her too?

The ring slid off her thumb and into her lap. She studied it for a long while without touching it. Not that it mattered—any fingerprints that had been on it were likely ruined by her holding it. Grasping it and holding it close to her heart, she closed her eyes against the onslaught of memories it revived: the day he proposed; her daddy chasing him down the driveway with a shotgun, telling him to get a job first; how handsome he looked when the chief pinned the badge to his uniform for the first time. Over two decades of love filled her heart and her mind. To hell with
how
the ring had showed up—it was back with her, where it belonged.

“I love you, Donnie,” she whispered, pressing a kiss to the ring before dropping it in her purse on the bedside table. “I’ll always love you, but life goes on, and I need to go with it.”

Chapter Seven

“You look absolutely hideous.” Diana cursed the image in the mirror as she held her hair back and examined the nasty bruises that had formed on her forehead and around her left eye. “Carter’s going to take one look and run for the hills.”

Why she cared what Carter thought, she didn’t know, since they were only supposed to be working on investigating Donnie’s death together. But care she did.

She twisted Donnie’s ring around her thumb. It had sat in her purse for a couple of hours before the need to touch it again grew so strong, she couldn’t resist digging it back out. She still needed to tell Carter about it anyway. Wearing it would help her remember.

As if she would forget.

“I’m heading out, Mom!” Jackson called from down the hall. “You sure you don’t want me to stay home with you?”

She left the bathroom and joined her son in the kitchen, where he was putting on his jacket. “I’ll be fine. You go on and have fun at the game.”

“Call me if you need me, and I’ll come home. I don’t like basketball all that much anyway.”

“You love basketball.”

“But I love you more. Call me, okay, Mom? I won’t mind.”

“I’ll be fine. Really. You don’t have to worry. I’ll probably go to bed early.”

Jackson hugged her and left. The house fell silent instantly. She checked her pocket for her cell phone, set the house alarm, and then settled in the living room with the television remote. By nine o’clock she had pretty much given up hope that Carter would stop by.

She was in the kitchen making a cup of tea when the doorbell rang. When she went to the front door, she could see him, hands shoved in his pockets of his jacket and breath clouding in the chill night air. He looked exhausted. After turning off the alarm, she pulled the front door open and stepped back, letting him in.

“Whew! It’s a cold one tonight!” Carter rubbed his hands together as she secured the door and reset the alarm. “I hope it’s not too late?”

“No. I was just making a cup of tea. Would you like some?” Diana did her best not to make eye contact. She was suddenly very self-conscious of the bruising and swelling on her face.

“Actually, I would love some. My grandmother raised me on a cup of tea before bed.”

She led the way to the kitchen, grateful the lights were dim in there. “Your grandmother?”

“Yeah. My mom disappeared when I was a baby. Over the years she came by every so often, looking for money or food or a place to crash, but she was always so high my grandmother would send her away again.”

“I’m so sorry.” His story saddened her. She filled the tea kettle and set it on the stove. While it heated, she busied herself with another cup and a tea bag for Carter.

He shrugged. “No reason to apologize or feel bad. I had a great life with my grandmother. My mother did me a favor by leaving.”

“Is that what made you go into police work?”

Carter laughed without humor, and she snuck a glance at him over her shoulder. “No. A very kind judge is the reason I became a cop.”

“A judge?”

“Despite my grandmother’s best efforts, I fell in with a rough crowd when I was a teenager. They were into cars.”

“What’s wrong with that?”

“Nothing. Unless you steal them, dismantle them, and sell their parts. Chop shops are big business where I come from on the west coast.”

“You’re a car thief?” She couldn’t even attempt to hide the shock. She'd let this man she hardly knew into her home, and he was a criminal. What was she thinking? Wait. He was also a cop. People could change.

“Was. And I didn’t actually steal anything. I couldn’t bring myself to, so I was more like a scout. After school I hit the streets on my skateboard and took note of all the hot cars. After I reported in, the repo team went out and brought them home.”

“Repo team? Home?” The whistle on the tea kettle sounded, letting her know the water was ready. After pouring out two cups, she passed one to Carter, and then turned quickly back to the sink to empty the pot and put away the tea bags. She had no idea how she would hide her face for much longer.

“I know, right? Makes it sound all legal, but believe me, it wasn’t. The guys I knew could jack a car and tear it down in less than three hours. One night, the garage was raided and I happened to be hanging around, so I got swept up in the catch. At my trial, the judge offered me two choices. I was old enough to be charged as an adult. He could slap me with ten years hard time, or a thousand hours of community service and probation until my twenty-first birthday. If I kept my nose clean, my record would be expunged. The judge said he thought I was inherently a good kid who had just made poor choices.”

“I don’t get how that led to you being a cop.”

“I learned that there were two sides to the law, and I wasn’t very good at being on the wrong side of it, so I figured I would give the other side a go.”

“Why Virginia Beach?”

“When I turned twenty-one, I came here in search of my mother. I’d heard she’d gotten in some trouble of her own with the law, had skipped bail, and was headed to the east coast. I thought I could find her and help her.”

“Did you find her?”

“Yes.”

“Was she happy to see you?”

“I don’t know.”

Diana finished sipping her tea and placed the cup and saucer in the dishwasher. Carter carried his over to the sink. Without thinking, she turned to take it from him, fully exposing the extent of her injuries. She heard his gasp, and her heart fell a little. She looked hideous, and now Carter thought so too.

“It’s nothing. Just not so great to look at.”

He reached up and gently traced along the ridge of her brow. “It’s not nothing. How much does it hurt?”

“Not so much. My pride aches more. I hate having you see me this way.”

“Don’t be silly, Diana. You’re still beautiful.”

“You don’t have to say that.”

“I know. I am saying it because it is true.”

“I almost texted you and told you not to come over. Then I thought if I kept the room dark and avoided direct eye contact…”

Her words were cut off by Carter’s arms wrapping around her and pulling her close. She rested her cheek against the soft wool of his sweater, and inhaled deeply. It felt so good to be in a man’s arms again that she almost forgot she shouldn’t be letting it happen. When her conscience kicked in and she tried to pull away, he held on a little bit tighter.

“What’s wrong?” he whispered against her hair.

“I—we—should we be doing this?”

“Doing what, exactly?”

“I don’t know—whatever
this
is? I’m practically old enough to be your mother.” Instead of releasing her, he placed a soft kiss to the place over her eye that was bruised the most. She forgot she was ever in pain, as the light touch of his lips made her knees go weak.

“Actually, you probably are. My mother was fourteen when she had me.”

Pushing against his chest with her hands, she peered up at him. “Seriously?”

He nodded.

“How old are you, Carter?”

“Thirty-eight.”

She didn’t even try to hide her surprise. She had him pegged for no more than twenty nine or thirty. “I wouldn’t have guessed.”

“Grandmother tells me that my grandfather never looked a day over forty-five when he died. Ryan men age well, I guess.”

Well now, that wasn’t so bad. That only made her about eight years older than him. Not quite so cougar-ish as she had thought. The girls would still never let her live it down, but hmmm…The way he was making her feel right now, she could get over the girls’ teasing.

“Grandmother also taught me to never ask a woman how old she is, but since age seems to be a concern of yours when a man comforts you, maybe I should know. Will you be collecting social security any time soon?”

She pushed away with a groan, and this time he let her go. “Carter Ryan, I am sure your grandmother never taught you to be so fresh either!”

“Fresh? Now that’s a term I haven’t heard in years. Are you saying I’m fresh like in
The
Fresh Prince of Bel-Air
?” He struck a pose, turning the ball cap he wore off to the side and making the brim stick up.

Simultaneously, they broke into the theme song of the old sitcom and ended up laughing until tears ran down their faces

“Wait! Wait, how about this one?” Carter broke into a rendition of the Carlton, dancing and singing the old Tom Jones song “It’s Not Unusual” until Diana thought she might pass out from laughing so hard. She couldn’t remember when she had felt so relaxed or happy.

While they were gasping for breath, Diana filled two glasses of water and nodded toward the door. “Why don’t we go sit in the family room? All the excitement has worn this old lady out.”

“Still fixated on the age thing, huh? What do I have to say to convince you that you are as stunning as any twenty-five-year-old?”

“I’d settle for thirty-five. You are way too kind.” They went to the family room. She stood in the door and eyeballed the sofa and the two chairs. Her brain told her to sit in one of the chairs—maintain a little distance between them—but her heart and the rest of her were pushing her to the sofa. Taking the decision away from her, Carter took her hand and led her to the sofa, where he arranged the throw pillows and settled her in. He then sat so close she could feel the heat emanating from his body. She craved that warmth, and did nothing to put space between them. Donnie had been warm like that.

Stop thinking about Donnie. Donnie is gone. Let Carter fill a little of that void.

She wanted Carter to fill a lot more than that, but she was not admitting that to anyone yet, especially not herself.

“Can we go back to your mother for a minute?”

“If you want to.” His expression darkened. “What do you want to know?”

“Why don’t you think she was happy to see you?”

“Because I never got to ask her. She was already dead and buried two years before I made it out here.”

She reached for his hand and gave it a gentle squeeze. “Oh, Carter, I’m so sorry. How did she die? If you don’t mind me asking.”

“Beat to death by a john. Some sick son of a bitch who couldn’t get off without hurting women. No matter how old I get, or how long I am on the job, I will never understand men who can’t get off without making women do things—things that aren’t normal. When did being kinky or cruel become the norm? Why can’t anyone just have sex the regular way anymore?”

He jumped up from the sofa and started pacing in front of her, fists clenched and face turning red. This conversation was headed down a road she didn’t want to travel. She'd spent ten years hiding her job from the man she was married to, and in the end it had destroyed them. No matter what the autopsy had to say, Donnie would not have died thinking she was a terrible person if she hadn’t had to hide that part of her life from him for so long. This obviously was not the time to break her big news, but they definitely had to revisit this conversation if their relationship went any further.

Relationship? Oh man, shake it off, Diana. Who said anything about a relationship?

“I’m so sorry about your mother. I wish I could do something to take the pain away.”

Carter stopped pacing suddenly and returned to his seat. “I’m sorry about that outburst. I tend to get a little emotional over a woman I barely even knew.”

“I shouldn’t have asked.”

“No. It’s okay. I just don’t talk about her much. Talking to you is so easy. I don’t know why it upsets me. My grandmother loved me and took great care of me.”

“Is she buried here in Virginia Beach?”

He nodded. “Not far from Massey, actually. I bet you are a great mom. Massey was very proud of his son.”

She couldn’t help but smile at the mention of Jackson. She was very proud of him. “Jackson is an amazing young man. Smart and athletic, as well as kind and caring. There’s no one else like him.”

“He has pretty amazing parents.”

“Had,” she whispered. “He
had
great parents. Now he is stuck with only me.”

“He has a great mother.” He picked up a lock of her hair and played with it. “And he had an amazing father. Not having one of my own, I don’t have much experience with dads, but the way Massey made you and Jackson the center of his world seems like the way it should be done.”

“I miss Donnie.” The words slipped out before she could stop them.

“That’s why I want to find out what really happened to him.”

She nodded, unable to speak.

“How about a little field trip tomorrow?” Carter dropped the lock of hair he had been fiddling with, letting his hand rest on her shoulder. The tempo of her heart picked up immediately.

“Where to?”

“I checked it out, and the house is still there. It’s been condemned, but there is a door that isn’t locked. I want to poke around and see if I can find anything. I thought you might want to be there too.”