Incendiary (21 page)

Mother has always had a soft spot for Georgie, although
I’m
her main priority, as the one she gave birth to. Maybe, my apprehension she’s up to more than meets the eye stems from her regret over Georgie’s broken heart and concern about the death threat.

She shrugs. “Perhaps you, Parnell, and the baby can relocate,” she continues.

In Houston, I have social standing. The house I’ve meticulously decorated is an envy of every woman who wishes to be me.

“You have to give something for this to work, Cassandra.”

“But my house, Mother?”

“Georgie may decide to keep the baby and walk away from us.”

I roll my eyes.
What woman in their right mind would give up wealth?

“If she prefers to leave, you have to accept that, dear.”

“
I’d
prefer her to leave.”

“I mean with the baby,” Mother snaps.

Georgie’s a little idiot, but even she wouldn’t turn down her inheritance for a baby. She can have more. I rub my temples. “Parnell won’t agree. He misses Georgie.”

Mother waves a dismissing hand. “He’s agreed to everything else, hasn’t he? Leave everything to me, dear. Don’t overtax yourself.”

I beam a smug smile in her direction, still unable to place the gleam in her eyes and still not liking it. But she’s given me what I want, as usual.

Mother nods to the half opened door, and I get to my feet.

“Relax in your old room, Cassandra, while I see to several urgent calls. Afterward, we can enjoy champagne and a light lunch.”

Having no reason to complain, I head to the door, overcome with relief. Whatever Mother is planning, I can live with. I’m sure I’ll have Bryn, which means I’ll finally have Parnell back.

“Knock, knock.” Adam’s words accompany my sitting room door opening and him sauntering his ass in as if I responded.

I shove a fried shrimp into my mouth and set my book face-down on the table. It crowds an already small space, but my reading material is no one’s fucking business. “If you’re coming in here to invite me back into the band, get the fuck out. I’m not interested.” One day, the words won’t gut me.

Today, the tips of Adam’s crew cut are blue. “Quint said he talked to you the other night.”

Three nights ago. When Georgie called so frightened. In turn, it led me to order the
What To Expect
series. Abby should’ve delivered Georgie’s set to her. I need to know what the fuck’s going on so I can help her, too. Besides, I’m bored. I’m also determined to stay away from television, radio, newspapers, magazines, and the internet if I don’t want to read or hear something about Georgiana, her lack of character, and decency. She’s being annihilated and it’s pissing me the fuck off at how easily I’m forgiven and an innocent girl is picked apart. Speculations about her whereabouts range from an undisclosed location with a family friend to verified sightings of her at various locations around the world with a variety of men.

Fuck. Throwing Adam a
drop-dead-motherfucker-look
, I target him with my bad mood. “We’ve established my position, so save your breath and get the fuck out.” I need to return to my reading. I’m only halfway through with
What To Expect While You’re Expecting
. Georgie needs me to know the information contained in book two,
What To Expect The First Year.

“I’m not here to ask you to rejoin. Not saying I wouldn’t like it.” Adam shrugs. “That’s on you, Sloane.”

The potato wedges are delicious. I chew one and then dip a second into ketchup.

“We’re playing a small gig tonight.” He glances toward the window, where the rain has abated long enough to usher in dusk. “In a couple of hours.”

“You better get going.” Swallowing half a bottle of very cold beer hides my longing to join them. “Enjoy.”

“We’re not asking you back in the band, but we want you to play with us. It won’t be long. It’s a nightclub owned by a friend.”

Finishing off my beer does little to mend the wound deepened by the information. “I assumed you all were hanging around to see if I made bail. I did. Four days ago. There’s no reason for any of you to stay. LA’s calling.”

“We’re waiting to see if the complete and total humiliation you intend for Georgie works, fucker.”

“Get the fuck out of here. What I’m doing to her is none of your fucking business.”

“You’re going to regret hurting her. You love her.”

Glaring at him, I eat another shrimp. I haven’t visited her since I left her asleep, though if I’m not in the music room, I’m in here with my door ajar, listening for her.

She hasn’t ventured out of the White Suite and my worry for her outweighs my belief she went public with our affair. I’ve considered moving her in here with me, but having her near me will be my downfall. I’ll never be able
not
to love her. Just knowing she’s here helps me. But what about her?

Nosy motherfucker walks to my side and grabs my book, flipping it over. He reads the title aloud and the content registers. Amusement lights his pale eyes.

“Not a fucking word.” I rise and snatch the book out of his hands.

“Not a peep from me, Daddy,” he mocks. “I’m pleased to know you’re still as obsessed with her as ever.”

“It’s for my daughter’s benefit.”

Asshole howls with laughter. “Yeah, because little Bryn is expecting.”

“Fuck you. Georgie had questions. I need to know shit in case she has more.”

My explanation sobers him and I lay the book back on the table, regretful that I didn’t purchase eBooks. When I ran across recommendations for these titles on a maternity site, an image of Georgie reading actual books when we were in Mississippi flashed in my mind, so I thought she’d prefer physical copies.

Thunder rattles the window panes and a streak of lightning flashes. The storm’s resuming with increased intensity.

Adam rocks back on his heels and sighs. “We aren’t asking you to rejoin or to come to LA with us whenever we go. Everything’s on hold for the time being. Until we know about you. We’re here to support
you
. Tonight’s nothing big. Nothing to do with Rand. It’s just us, performing because we love it. We wanted you with us. For old time’s sake.”

He departs, leaving me with longing and nostalgia. The frayed edges of my life rip a little more and I’m torn right down the middle. As much as I want to ignore the request, I miss performing.

Thunder rolls again and my thoughts return to Georgie. If the lights go out, she’ll be frightened. Rainstorms don’t scare her, but darkness does. After summoning Amika to bring me a flashlight, candles and a box of matches, I go to Georgie’s room, expecting to find Abby with her. Instead, it’s quiet and dim in the sitting room and the bedroom, identical to my last visit. Even Georgie is curled up in bed, staring at Bryn as she sleeps.

I set the stuff I carry on the nightstand. By the tensing of her shoulders, she knows I’m in the room. The key I gave her still lays in the same spot on her nightstand. The four books I had Abby deliver are stacked behind the lamp.

Georgie’s guilt or innocence is like a whisper in the wind, an inescapable reality with rapidly diminishing importance. Compared to her sadness and isolation fucking with my head, my own anger and hurt are inconsequential. It’s the dichotomy I’ve always faced with her. My desire for her was wrong but our time spent together was right. My anger over what she did is natural, but my response to it, to
her
, isn’t.

I’ve never wanted Georgie hurt and, yet, I’ve crushed her. I’ve allowed my father to crush her. If my sole reason is to remain free, I could understand. But I just wanted to strike back.

I sit on the side of her bed and lay my hand on her hip. Nothing in my life is right and I don’t know how to undo all the damage I’m responsible for.

“Have you visited the library downstairs?” I ask, knowing she hasn’t.

She shakes her head. “Thanks for the books. I started on the First Year copy, but I got really curious about what was said about pregnancy, so I went back to it.” She peeps over her shoulder and offers me a half-smile. “I’ve gotten to chapter three.”

She’s always preferred novels to non-fiction. “I’m halfway through it.”

At my admission, her eyes widen and she lays on her back. “You’re reading it, too?”

“In case you had more questions.”

“I called Lindsey yesterday, but she couldn’t talk long. The lady Grandma hired to keep me company and keep me out of the way,” she explains at my lifted brow. “Kind of like how you did with Abby.”

“It isn’t my intention to keep you out of the way. I’ve been hoping you’d leave this room.”

“I like it here,” she confesses, her voice as sad and confused as her eyes. “I don’t have to face anyone and I can’t mess up. I’m safe.”

“Georgie, you can’t become a recluse. I won’t allow it.”

She sits up and some of the spirit that frustrated, amused, and lured me, returns to her face. “As if you have a say. Or even care,” she adds on a mumble.

“I care.”

Her shrug brushing off my words annoy me. “I care,” I grit, though she has no reason to believe me.

Drawing her knees up, she lays her cheek on them and glares at me. “You care enough to leave. Again.”

“I was coming back to you. When you turned eighteen.” Just as she needed to know about Cassandra, she deserves to hear that from me. Though I started out lusting after her, it turned into something more.

“Why? You had your girlfriend and all your groupies.”

“I never had a fucking girlfriend and you know it.”

“Do I? What was reported—”

“Isn’t always true. Something you know when you fucked up facts of my life. I’m fucking human. I make mistakes. I thought…fuck!” Frustration heats my words and she scowls at me when Bryn makes a little noise.

“She’s a light sleeper, dickhead,” she whisper-yells, “so lower your voice or get out.”

Glaring at her, I remain silent until the baby quiets, considering my options. Georgie needs an explanation about why I believed I could
stay
away from her. “I hurt you, Georgie, and I’m so fucking sorry. I’ll tell you my reasons, but you must promise not to tell anyone. Especially Helen.” Helen swore if I told Georgie, she’d go ahead with her plans.

“I promise,” Georgie responds.

“Say something,” I direct once I’m done.

Silent tears run down her cheeks and she scoots closer to me, settling herself onto my lap. “Your intentions were good and noble and understandable,” she whispers. “But you knew what hung over your head before I conceived. Why get me pregnant and then concede to Grandma’s demands?”

I have no answer for her. Telling her I’d thought to marry her when I came back for her will sound like a lame attempt to gloss over my fucked up behavior.

“Are you telling me this now because you believe I’d never intentionally hurt you? To clear your conscience? Why?”

“Georgie, I don’t know what to believe right now. You
spoke
to the detective…We’ve been through this. I came in to check on you, not to get into any of this.”

“I’m fine,” she assures me, scrambling off my lap and returning to her curled position, her back to me. “Thank you for coming. Bryn should be waking up in about half an hour to nurse.”

“You can’t hide in this fucking room. Or
any
fucking room. You’re not that girl. You need to be around people.”

“No, thank you. If I’m alone no one can hurt me. I won’t have to worry about being left because I’ll have no one around to leave me. As long as my baby is with me, I can be locked in a dungeon. I’d prefer to be.”

While I understand she’s been hurt and betrayed by everyone, me included, her attitude fucks me off. I stand. “Get up.”

“No.”

“Oh, baby, do you really want to fucking challenge me?”

She whimpers, knowing if she doesn’t submit willingly I’ll
make
her do it.

“You’re not a fucking quitter. You survived without me for months, so I know you can stand on your own. Giving in to your fears is bullshit. Now, get the fuck up.”

“Fuck you. I can be anything I want to be. It’s my business, not yours.”

“It’s my business as long as my daughter is in your custody,” I growl, not giving her the chance to refuse me or respond to my unspoken threat. Fueled by frustration, I lean over and scoop her into my arms. Georgie can’t give in. She’s fought her way through too much, to throw in the towel now.

But she has. Her resistance lasts as long as it takes me to grab her, before she sags against me.

Only one way do I know how to evoke emotion from her. With a quick glance toward our sleeping child, I tighten my hold on Georgie and start for the door. When I step into the hallway, Georgie realizes we’re leaving Bryn and screams as if I’m killing her. She kicks and struggles. Tightening my hold prevents her escape. Determined to pull her out of her stupor, I stalk to the staircase.