Incorporeal (20 page)

“
Don’t worry about it.” The detective patted her back. “We still don’t know where he came from. It’s odd.” He shot a glance at Sara. “Almost seems like he dropped from the sky.”

Sara felt a corner of her mouth turn up.
Oh Detective Flannery, you have no idea how right you are.
“You know, Detective Flannery, sometimes I imagine the exact same thing.”

The casket had reached the bottom and the men working the equipment pulled their poles and lifts away. Sara grabbed a shovel, stuck it in a pile of wet earth, and began to cover the casket. Detective Flannery and her two friends grabbed their own shovels and helped. When she couldn’t see any more wood, Sara stopped.

She turned to her friends. “It’s done. You can go now.”

Dalton took her arm. “Don’t you mean we can go now?”

“
No. I want to stay for a while. I’ll meet you back home.”

All business, Geri took off her rain coat, shook it, and wrapped it around Sara’s shoulders. “If you’re going to stand out in the rain, at least take this.”

“
No, Geri, you need…”

Geri interrupted her. “You need it worse.” She kissed Sara on the cheek. “We’ll see you at home. Don’t stay out here too long.”

Dalton leaned over to kiss her other cheek. “Listen to Geri. If you’re not home in an hour, I’m sending the entire police department after you.”

Sara hugged her friends. Geri had stood by her, solid as a rock, never uttering a single word about that awful night in San Francisco. Dalton kept her spirits up. They took turns spending nights with her. The two of them had arranged to have her home cleaned before she went back. There wasn’t a trace of blood left, but neither was there a trace of Nathan.

Dalton had suffered some post traumatic stress too. And she’d have a thin, crescent moon-shaped scar on her neck forever, as a reminder of…
Okay, enough of that
.

“
Yes, I’ll be home within the hour. I promise.” She turned back toward the grave, stepping out of the way as the attendants began to fill in the hole with thick, dark, clay soil.

“
I’ve been wondering about something.”

Sara nearly jumped out of her skin. “I thought you went to your car, detective.”

“
No, I wanted a minute to speak to you alone.”

Sara looked up into the man’s face. His voice sounded serious, and his eyes held any number of questions. “What are you wondering about?”

“
My forensic medical examiner tells me that Nathan’s clothes were sewn by hand.”

Sara raised her eyebrows.
Where is he going with this?

“
He also tells me that the shirt was made of linen; that it was, in fact, hand-woven, with threads that were spun on a loom. Same with the trousers. He says the trousers were colored with a dye made from walnut husks. He says the linen thread is of European origin.”

“
Um-hmm.”

“
And I find it interesting that the boots he wore were tanned by hand. There’s no manufacturing label on them. The soles were handmade as well, apparently by a shoemaker who could conceivably have lived in the Fourteenth or the Fifteenth Century.” Detective Flannery fell silent.

Sara cleared her throat. “I don’t know what to tell you, detective.”

“
You said Nathan had been living with you for months, but we didn’t find any articles of men’s clothing in your house. Do you have any explanation?”

“
No.”

He rocked back on his heels. “I didn’t think so. I’ll be in my car if you need anything. I want to make sure you get home okay.” He started to walk away.

“
It’s not necessary to wait for me, Detective Flannery.”

His steps slowed, but he didn’t stop. “I’ll wait anyway,” he said.

“
He won’t ask any more questions. He knows he won’t get the answers he seeks.”

Sara focused her attention in the direction of the voice. “You.”

It was the woman, the ghost who’d appeared on the bus to Vallejo, the woman who’d given her the warning.

Sara glanced at the men filling in Nathan’s grave. They ignored her.
Probably assume I’m praying or talking to myself.

She’d intended to honor Nathan by standing at the edge of his grave until the deep hole was entirely filled in. The ghost distracted her.

But Sara, the woman’s presence is important. You need to find out what she has to say
.
Maybe it has something to do with Nathan
.

With a glance over her shoulder at Detective Flannery, Sara watched until he’d reached his car, then she walked away from the grave, moving out of earshot of the workmen. The rain would help mask her conversation with the ghost in any case.

“
He’s talking to your friends,” the ghost said, with a nod of her head in the detective’s direction. “They’re waiting for you in their car.”

“
What are they talking about?”

“
You. Me. About the fourteen bodies the detective and other police officers like him have already linked to
him
, bodies in three states. Here, Oregon…” the ghost waved her hand in a random direction, “Washington.”

For a few seconds, Sara’s mind went blank with horror. At last she said, “I’m sorry.”

“
Thank you. We may not be at peace, but we feel better because of you.”

Sara glanced into eyes so pale they could have been white. “You don’t feel better because of me. The man lying in the ground there.” she pointed at Nathan’s grave. “He did it. Nathan saved my life, my friend’s life. When you see Nathan, you should thank him.”

“
I would, but I don’t think I’ll see him.” The ghost smiled. “Heaven is a very big place and I don’t know where he resides, besides, I suspect his destiny lies elsewhere.”

“
What are you talking about? He’s dead. Dead and now he’s buried.” Sara began to cry. She was grateful for the rain. Somehow it made her feel better to know her tears could remain private. Nobody could tell she was crying. Her tears looked just like rain.

The woman brushed a finger along Sara’s cheekbone, surprising her. The ghost’s touch felt as icy cold as Nathan’s had the afternoon he’d reached for her arm. His hand had gone right through her.

“
You love him,” she said.

“
Yes. But love isn’t always for keeps.” Sara turned away from the ghost.

The woman laughed. “Says who? Only a fool believes that.”

“
Only a fool loves an incorporeal being, ghost. I’m that fool.” Sara wearied of the conversation.
Ghosts are always long-winded and they inevitably speak in riddles
.
Except for Nathan
. “What do you want? Why did you come here?”

The woman rose up in the air, hovering several feet above another fresh grave. “To pass on a message.”

Sara stared up at her. “What message?”

“
We won’t be bothering you again.”

“
Who won’t be bothering me again?”

The woman raised an eyebrow. “Why, us, the dead. We won’t ask you for any more favors. The child you carry deserves the peace you never had.”

Sara caught her breath. “But, I thought, I hoped…” She stared down at the muddy ground. “I hoped Nathan would come back to speak with me.”

The woman’s smile was gentle. “As I said, heaven is a very big place. I have not seen Nathan. I believe he’s elsewhere.”

Sara closed her eyes and swallowed, hard. She opened them, hoping the ghost hadn’t disappeared. The woman watched her.

“
Elsewhere? Tell me where and I’ll find him.”

The ghost merely shook her head. “I’m here to say goodbye, nothing more.” She began to fade from Sara’s sight.

Sara reached out a hand to the incorporeal spirit. “Wait. Wait. I have some questions for you.”

The woman was a faint shimmer in the air, but Sara could still hear her. “What?” she asked.

“
Who is Chester?”

“
Why, he’s a Guardian, of course,” she answered.

“
And he, oh god, I don’t know how to ask this.” Sara’s knees began to shake. “Is he my father?”

For an instant, the ghost became so visible, so corporeal, and moved so close to her that Sara swore she was a living, breathing woman.

“
Of course,” she said. “Who else would he be?” With those words, the ghost vanished.

Oh no, I didn’t even thank her
. “Wait,” Sara called, “I didn’t thank you for warning me. Wait.” It was too late. She’d gone.

Sara dropped down onto a wet stone slab. She wrapped her arms about her knees, not caring that her new black dress was soaked through.

Oh boy. This is a lot to deal with on top of everything else.
My father is a Guardian, whatever that is. Nathan is a corporeal/incorporeal ghost with a destiny. No more messages to deliver from the restless dead. The opportunity to raise my child in peace, to give my baby the life I never had.

Sara felt torn
. After resenting ghosts for so many years, I don’t want them to leave. If they leave, that means I must give up all hope of ever seeing Nathan again. I don’t know if I can do that.

Sara, it’s not like you have a choice. You never had a choice, neither did he, he told you that.

“
Sara?”

“
What?” Her head flew around and she jumped to her feet, thinking the ghost had reappeared. It was Geri.

“
Sara, it’s time to go. You’re soaked to the skin. C’mon, honey. Let’s go.”

Sara remained quiet, passive, as Geri pulled the raincoat tight around her and led her to the car.

He really is gone. He’s never coming back, not even as an incorporeal spirit. He won’t show up in my shower. He won’t annoy me in my kitchen. He won’t make love to me in a pool of moonlight. It’s over, Sara, all of it. Life as you knew it is over.

Chapter Sixteen

Sara woke to a ringing phone. Half asleep, she wondered why Dalton or Geri didn’t answer. She rubbed her eyes.
Oh yeah, I sent them home six weeks ago
. Rolling onto her side, she grabbed for her cell phone, but knocked it off the chest. It skidded beneath the bed and stopped ringing.
Screw it. If someone wants to talk to me, they’ll call later
.

Sara closed her eyes and lay back on her pillows. A small, fluttering kick from the baby brought a smile to her face.

“
Oh Nathan, I wish you could feel her. It’s a girl.” She rubbed her fingers against the moving appendage. “How do I know? I just do. I’m going to name her for your mother. I think you’ll like that, but instead of Katherine, I’ll call her Caitlyn. Cait. You okay with that? It’s kind of a more modern version of Katherine.” She waited in silence.

What? Are you expecting an answer? He never answers.

“
I dreamed about you again last night.” Sara snuggled down into her feather bed, pulling the blankets up to her chin. “It was a good dream. You were here, in bed with me. You held me in your arms and made love to me.” She yawned and stretched, moving languidly, taking her time. “It seemed so real, Nathan. I swear I could smell you, feel you, taste you. You put your hands on my belly and felt the baby kick.” The memory made Sara smile.

Sara turned onto her side and opened her eyes, studying the morning sunlight as it filtered through the young, tender green leaves outside her window. “Are you at peace, my love? I hope you’re at peace, but I guess the truth is, I’d rather have you here with me. That’s selfish of me, isn’t it? That wouldn’t have been fair to you.”

I still cry when I think of you, Nathan. But I won’t say those words aloud because I have this irrational feeling you can hear me. I don’t want you to think I’m sad. I’m not sad, at least, not all the time.

The phone rang again, a muffled sound from under the bed. Annoyed, Sara swung her legs over the side and reached beneath. She managed to snag it on the fourth ring.

“
Hey, Dalton. What’s up?” Sara turned around to sit cross-legged on the bed.

“
Yeah, that’s the plan. I leave tomorrow.

“
No, honey, I’m not changing my mind.

“
The doctor says I’m fine to travel. I may not be in a couple more months, but right now it’s perfectly all right.” Her hand automatically went to her growing baby bump.

“
Yes, I’ll have plenty of room to stretch my legs. The company is sending me first class, remember? I’m making them a lot of money on this deal.

“
You have my itinerary; London first, then I’m heading up to the north of England. After that I’m flying to Spain and then I’ll come home.

“
Because this is something I have to do for my own peace of mind, and you’re not talking me out of it. I need to see where Nathan came from, where he lived, even though I know they’ll be nothing left of him. Besides, I want to check on this de Manua Shipping Company. Who knows? Maybe some of Nathan’s extended family did survive.

“
Yeah, I’m stopping over in New York to pick up the contract.”

Sara smiled. “I know you and Geri want to be there with me. I’d like that too. I hold Geri entirely responsible for this offer.