Indelible Love - Emily's Story (18 page)

“A month? Are you kidding me? This is
worth at least a year!”

“Is that right?” With speed and
determination, he picked me up and threw me on his bed.

His lips came down roughly on mine and
it was clear that he was not letting go of me for a while. Knowing
he wasn’t going to get very far didn’t sway his determination to
undermine my beliefs. I had to admit, I was the one caving toward
his beliefs. His right hand immediately began unbuttoning my dress
and his left arrested my protesting hand.

I tried to come up for air but his
solid body lay on top of mine and didn’t give me any room for
escape. He finally moved his lips away from me and I let out a
whimper. “Jake…your parents…your entire family is in this
house.”

In between moving his mouth from my
lips down to my exposed chest, he uttered, “I don’t care.” He knew
I wasn’t putting up much of a fight. Skillfully, Jake managed to
pull off the top half of my dress and his hands reached to take it
completely off when there was a knock that saved me from Jake as
well as from myself.

“Jake…oh, Jake…” Nick’s voice called
out.

“Go away!” Jake growled.

“Mom told me to come and get you and
Emily. Everybody’s waiting. Dinner’s about to begin. Come out soon
or I’m going to have the chief come up and get you.” Nick broke
into a guffaw.

“Nick, I’m going to remember this next
time you have a girl up in your room,” Jake threatened amid a loud
bellow from beyond the door.

Jake grudgingly let go of me, and I
jumped up out of bed reassembling my dress. I couldn’t help but
laugh at his surly face. “Jake…” His once complacent look turned
into a scowl as we were about to leave his room. “Jake. Can I give
you your Christmas present before we go down?”

His face lit up instantly. I walked
over to my purse and brought out a journal that wasn’t wrapped, but
tied together nicely with ribbon and a big bow.

“You have to promise me one thing,” I
said before giving him the present.

“OK. I promise.” So cute, he sounded
like a little boy agreeing to anything so he could open his
Christmas gift.

“This is a journal I started writing
soon after we met. I wrote in it after every date or conversation
or even a fight. My initial intention was to journal my feelings
and thoughts. This wasn’t written for anyone to read but myself.
When I thought about what I wanted to give you for Christmas, I
knew you would most appreciate my heart. Whatever I felt during our
two months together…it’s all in here.”

My boyfriend looked stunned. He
probably never imagined I would give him so much of myself
emotionally. Rather than taking the present he came over and held
me in his arms instead. I knew this man loved me unendingly. I too
loved him just as much.

“I’m sorry I’m so frustrating. You’re
a patient man to deal with someone so indecisive. This journal will
hopefully answer all your questions and take away any doubt you
might still have about us.”

His arms stayed locked on my
body.

“OK, so back to the promise.” I pulled
myself away from him. “You can’t read this till after I
leave.”

“Why not? If you wrote it you know
everything that’s in there.”

“It’s embarrassing. You can enjoy it
when I’m not around. I also don’t want to see your ego blowing up
page by page. Your head may burst.”

“Can I take a peak before
dinner?”

“No. I’m taking this back if you don’t
keep your promise.”

“All right. I promise. I can’t wait to
read it.” He had an eager smile.

“I’ll leave it over here on your
bookcase.”

We started walking out and I stopped
him one more time, wanting to declare what was in my heart. “I love
you, Jake, and I’m really happy to be here with you.” He swept me
off my feet again and tried to take me back to his bed, but I
forced him downstairs.

There were twenty-three of us at the
regal dining table. I met every aunt, uncle, and cousin who lived
within a two-hour radius of Jake’s house. Sandy put us at the
middle of the table so that I could converse with as many family
members as possible. I learned that Bobby was the oldest of five
brothers and none of the children were married yet. They ranged
from eighteen to thirty, with Jake being the oldest. Jake sat to my
right, along with Uncle Roy, Aunt Pattie, and their three grown
children. Then there was Uncle Billy and Aunt Sandra with their two
college-age children. Sandy, Bobby, Jane, and Nick sat together.
Uncle Dave and Aunt Debbie brought only two of their four college
kids. Then the chief, Aunt Barbara, and their children, Doug and
Lane, sat to my left. The chief kept me entertained with stories of
all the nurses, interns, and female doctors who had tried to woo
Jake since he got to the hospital.

“So, Emily, are you coming to the
pre-party and football game with all of us on New Year’s Day?”
Chief Reid asked.

“Um, I don’t think so. I wasn’t
invited.”

He scolded Jake. “Why haven’t you
invited this stunning lady to our New Year’s party and game day
festivities?”

“Well, I haven’t asked her because I
myself wasn’t invited. You have me working that day, remember? Will
you give me that day off so I can go see the game?”

“Are you scheduled to work? I could
possibly give you the day off and put someone else to work. Do you
want to go to the game?”

“Actually, I’d be happy to work on New
Year’s Day if you are willing to give me MLK weekend
off.”

“Jake!” Jane complained from across of
the table.

“That sounds good to me,” the chief
answered.

“Fantastic!” Jake glanced over at Jane
and gloated.

To my delight, Jake’s grandmother
called during dinner. He had never spoken of any grandparents so I
didn’t realize she was still living. Bobby answered the phone and
greeted her, but quickly turned the phone over to Jake.

“Son, Gram wants to talk to her
favorite grandchild.”

“That would be me,” Jake announced to
the family with a smug look.

“Hi, Gram!” Before he could say much
more, he answered, “Uh-huh” and handed the phone over to me. “She
wants to talk to you.”

“Me?”

“Yup. You.”

A bit scared, I started my
conversation. “Hello, Gram, this is Emily. It’s very nice to meet
you.”

“Emily, I’ve been waiting since
David’s birthday to talk to you. Why haven’t you called me?” I took
her question as a scolding.

Timidly I answered, “I’m very sorry,
Gram, but Jake never told me I was supposed to call you. But I’m
thrilled to meet you. I lived with my grandmother since I was
thirteen. Talking to you makes me miss her so much.”

“Is she still alive?”

“No,” I answered tearfully, “she
passed away a few years ago. Gram, why aren’t you here with the
family? I wish I could have met you too.”

“I live in London. It’s too far for me
to travel. Why don’t you come see me, Emily? Jakey tells me you’re
more beautiful than I am, and that he loves you even more than he
loves me.” She didn’t sound too happy about this.

I gave Jake a
how could you
look. His
shoulders shrugged into a
what did I
do?
look.

“Oh, Gram, Jake can be silly at times.
How can he possibly think he loves anyone more than his
grandmother? Plus, I’m not that pretty. It’s only in Jake’s
eyes.”

“You are too. You’re
gorgeous!” Jake interjected before my thought was over. I pinched
his arm and gave him a
be quiet
look.

“I’ve never seen such a beautiful
family as the Reid family. I’m sure that’s all a credit to you.
Gram, can you send me a picture of yourself?”

Content with my soothing words, she
answered, “I’ll have my assistant take a picture of me and e-mail
it to Jake. So when can you come see me?”

“Well, my vacation is almost over, but
I can come at the end of March during spring break. Would that be
OK? Should I bring Jake or come by myself?” I kidded.

“Gram, I want to come too,” he whined
into the mouthpiece.

“You can bring him if he’s good to
you. Is my Jakey treating you well?”

“He was treating me very well till
this morning, Gram.”

Gram sounded aghast. Jake looked
horrified.

“What happened, Emily? What did he do
to you?”

“He was mean to me and he made me
cry.” I added melancholy for special effects. I noticed the entire
family had stopped eating, talking, and whatever else they were
doing, and stared at Jake.

“Oh my gosh, Emily! I can’t believe
you just told everyone I made you cry this morning.” Appalled, he
didn’t know what to say. All the aunts accepted my accusation and
began scolding Jake.

“But you did,” I answered in my
saddest voice.

Back to my conversation with Gram, I
said, “Anyhow, I’m going to come see you soon, and as to whether I
will bring Jake, I’ll think about it.”

“Emily, are you going to marry my
grandson?” Wow—like grandma, like grandson. She didn’t beat around
the bush.

“I hope so, Gram. I’m not sure yet.
You’ll be the second to know when I decide. Gram, I’ll get your
phone number from Jake and call you again. I think I have to get
off. Jake’s a bit upset with me. Thank you for talking to
me.”

With that, I got off the phone and sat
as a spectator watching Jake get himself out of trouble.

“Emily, will you please explain, it
was me who should’ve been crying this morning and not
you?”

I shrugged my shoulder, winked, and
mouthed, “I love you,” then went back to enjoying my
meal.

When dinner was over, we all played a
mean game of White Elephant. The Reid family was ruthless stealing
from each other the few prized items that Sandy added to the pile.
The most coveted prize was two floor seats to a Laker game. Doug
ended up as the grand prize winner. Most of us got ugly tchotchkes
that would quickly be thrown away at home. Jake actually won a
great bottle of wine, which he handed over to Chief Reid as a bribe
to try to get New Year’s Eve off. He gladly took the wine, but not
the bribe.

I stayed as long as I could, then
hugged Sandy, Bobby, and Nick good-bye as they went up to their
rooms for the night. I turned to Jane and promised her quality time
in New York even with her brother in tow.

Our dinner conversation with Gram
seemed all but forgotten, or so I thought, when I turned to say
good-bye to Jake. I took a step forward as he took a step backward
dodging my attempted embrace. Confounded, I waited with my arms
wide open.

“I can’t believe you threw
me under the bus today.”
Oh so that’s what
this was all about.
“You’re so lucky I
didn’t tell my whole family how you chopped up my proposal and my
heart into pieces.”

Cuddling up to him, I used my most
alluring voice to appease him. “What can I do to make things
better? I’ll make it up to you. I’m sorry I got you into trouble,
but you were a complete gentleman for not giving me away.” I added
a few kisses to buffer.

“Stay the night with me.” This was
more a demand than a request.

During my moment’s hesitation, Jake
swept me off my feet, carried me up the stairs, and took me to his
bed. The words “I can’t” and “I have to go” waited for their cue,
but stayed frozen on my tongue. In silence, we headed toward a path
with no recourse. Until I met Jake, I believed I would stay
spotless till I said, “I do.” Until now, I had never wanted to
change my novice status but at this moment, I wanted nothing more
than to be with him. My mind was made up—tonight, we would express
our love for one another.

The excitement in Jake’s eyes mirrored
my own. His caresses began on my face. His mouth was soft. Savoring
each kiss, his lips brushed over every part of my face. Hungrily,
my mouth reached for his, hoping to kiss him, but he gently grazed
my lips and moved on. Gentle. This word best described Jake’s every
move tonight. In earnest resolve—a synonym if there ever was one—he
moved ever so slowly and gently for me.

Repeating his earlier steps of
unbuttoning my dress, his lips stopped traveling and my body lay
still. His eyes stayed glued on mine. I briefly thought about my
mom. What would she have said, if I told her what I wanted to do
tonight? I wasn’t sure if she would have encouraged me or
discouraged me. My mind also drifted to my conscience. As much as
my body desired to love and be loved, there was a part of
me—unsettled—like I was betraying myself in some way. When my mind
came back to the moment at hand, I realized Jake had begun
redressing me. He gazed lovingly into my eyes.

“Jake?” I whispered his name. “What’s
the matter?”

“Emily, I’m content to just be with
you tonight. We don’t have to do anything else.”

“Why? What’s wrong?”

“Sweetheart, as difficult as this is
for me, I want to keep you as you are until we get married—and
trust me, we will get married.”