Independent Jenny (25 page)

Chapter Fifty-Seven

The music started and I walked down the aisle, eyes fixed on Will, wondering what the rest of the afternoon and evening had in store for us. His eyes didn’t break away from mine until I reached him and I gave him my best smile before taking my place at the side, where I was joined by Hayley’s dad. I searched out Shane, who was sitting with Hayley’s sister and her boyfriend. He had his best suit on and looked pretty handsome himself.

The ceremony was simple but lovely, and then we moved into a small dining room with a long table to accommodate the whole party. I sat between Will and Shane, who was talking animatedly to Hayley’s sister about the love of his life: his coffee shop.

The food was good; the Prosecco even better.

“I guess I should make my speech,” Will whispered to me.

“Have you prepared anything?”

“No, not really enough time was there?”

“At least it’s not a large crowd,” I said, looking at the small gathering.

He chinked his glass with a spoon and stood up.

He told us all about Guy as a kid, a few funny anecdotes, how crazy in love he was with Hayley even at sixteen and some nice words about Hayley. And then he said:

“I find it hard to understand love, sometimes. I think sometimes we mistake infatuation for love. I’ve only ever been truly, deeply in love once myself, but that’s enough to know it when I see it. And I see it here today. You two are surely soul mates and I wish you every happiness.”

Huh.

He’d only ever truly been in love once.

He had also told me that he’d loved me, back then, when we were kids, hadn’t he?

So did that mean he’d never loved Mandy, deeply? Or did that mean that the love he had for me was in fact just infatuation. We were so young, after all.

I swigged another big mouthful of Prosecco.

“To the bride and groom!” We all raised our glasses and then it was Guy’s turn, but I didn’t want to listen. I’d heard enough wedding speeches to know it was rare you got a good one and his was only average, not that Hayley seemed to mind. Then her dad spoke, and all the while I was just glancing between him and back to Will by my side, wondering what that all meant and how he really felt. I continued to drink. Will poured me another glass as the last round of applause died down.

Seeing as there were so few of us, no disco had been planned and so I spent the rest of the evening drinking yet more bubbles, watching Shane get drunk on whisky and chat to anyone who would listen, including Will as he drank beer.

I wasn’t sure if it was the alcohol, or being around Will again, but a thought came over me and I was suddenly, absolutely sure of what I had to do.

I went outside, pulled my mobile out of the little bag Hayley had given me that morning, and called Ross.

“Hey babe, how’s the wedding?”

“It’s over, Ross.”

“What?”

“You and me. I just wanted to say. No more dates.”

“Are you drunk? Don’t get angry now, babe. We’ll talk when you get home.”

“No, listen to me. It’s over. For sure. I don’t love you. Oh my god, that feels good to say. I don’t love you, Ross. I forgive you, but I don’t want you. Good bye!”

I hung up, threw my mobile back in my bag and marched back in, feeling liberated. Will was dancing with Hayley and I watched them with a smile. When the song was over, he released her to Guy and came and chatted to me and Shane for a while. I was pleased to see them getting along. Eventually Shane wandered off to mingle and left us to it.

Now and then, Will would stop talking and look at me, and for a second I thought this was it, he was going to make his move. I silently told him to kiss me but he didn’t appear to know what I was thinking.

At some point, Shane said goodnight. At another, so did Hayley and Guy. And then I realised Will and I were the only ones left talking. Even the bar staff had gone home.

“I’ve had so much fun with you tonight,” I told him, the invincible bubble of drunkenness leaving me free to be open with him. “I always have fun with you. That week we spent here together was one of the best weeks ever.”

“I agree,” he said. “I couldn’t stop thinking about you when I got home. Mandy never stood a chance, not really.”

“Seriously?”

“She never stood a chance, Jenny. Even before we got married. It was always you.”

The butterflies stopped for a moment and all I felt was superbly, sublimely happy.

“Really?”

“Yes. I should have told you before I left for Scotland, and I should have told you when we were here, but I was trying to do the right thing.”

“I don’t know if you should have told me back then. I was too young, I wouldn’t necessarily have said I felt the same way.”

“And now?”

I could see the fear in his eyes. How could he not know that I felt the same way? That I wanted him? I tried to find the words, the alcohol fading away and making me feel rather sober again.

“I got home from Skye and I was miserable. I just wanted to be here with you again and I have thought of you every single day since. I’ve been replaying every moment we had during that week, and I couldn’t stand the thought of never seeing you again.”

“Well, here I am.”

“And here I am.” I held my breath. “Here we are.”

He smiled, a big happy smile and I returned it, not caring about the distance or the logistics, but only about the moment, and knowing that he wanted me. Will wanted me. It was a good feeling.

We were sitting on two seats with our backs to the wall. I shuffled my seat closer and moved my face close to his. He leaned forward and he kissed me, and I wrapped my arms around his neck. It started delicately and slowly, then he had his arms around me and I could feel the current running between us.

“Do you want to come up to my room then?” I asked after finally pulling away. Wow, he was even better to look at when he had that lustful expression in his eyes.

“I do have my own room, I must confess.”

“Oh, right.”

“But I’d much rather come to yours.”

I stood up and held out my hand. “Come on then.”

We made our way out into the lobby, past the receptionist who was reading a magazine, and up the sweeping staircase. As I climbed the stairs, holding my dress up slightly with my left hand, Will grabbed hold of my right and I gave him a sideways smile. He squeezed my hand and started to climb the stairs faster, two at a time, pulling me up beside him. I giggled and led the way at the top of the landing.

After fiddling with the lock – maybe I was still a little tipsy after all – we were alone in my room and all the nerves and anxiety slipped away. I watched Will close the curtains and come towards me and I knew I loved him. I wasn’t just trying to move on like I had been with Aiden, or forcing myself to make an effort like I had earlier this week with Ross. I knew I would be fine if I was alone, in fact I could be happy alone. I’d proved I could be independent. But now he was here, I didn’t want to be.

He put his hands in my hair and kissed me gently. I wrapped my arms around his neck and sent up a little wish to whoever granted wishes that this night could last forever. Don’t let this fly by, let me enjoy every moment.

He picked me up, carried me to the bed, and removed my dress.

“Still so beautiful,” he whispered as he kissed my neck.

I was torn between wishing he’d move quickly and stop teasing, and wanting to enjoy every moment and make the whole night slow down.

He left my underwear on and lay down next to me on the bed, running his fingers over my arms and hips. I shivered.

“You’re cold?” he asked, looking concerned.

“A little,” I admitted. “But it’s fine.”

He got up and pulled back the duvet. I climbed underneath it and he took his clothes off so he was down to his boxer shorts, and then got in beside me.

“You sure you want to…?” he asked, leaning towards me. I nodded.

He slipped the last of my underwear off, and covered my body in tiny kisses, each one sending a quiver of excitement through me, and then finally he rolled me on top of him and I began to move astride him, feeling like we were the only two people on the planet.

He’d certainly gained skills since the last time we’d done this. He seemed to instinctively know what I’d like. Sure, I may well be biased – being in love and all that – but I could swear at the time we were having the best sex that anyone had ever had, on the whole planet, since the beginning of time.

After he’d made me explode, I fell asleep on his chest, this time knowing it wouldn’t be the last time I’d get to do so.

Chapter Fifty-Eight

I woke up the next morning and my first thought was to consider that Will had definitely improved when it came to rocking my world. I mean, he wasn’t too bad in our school days by the time we broke up, anyway. But now, he had proper skills. He knew his way around my body like he’d designed it himself. He even seemed to know spots to touch that I didn’t know I had.

I woke up, in the same position with my head on his chest, much like our last night together on my holiday, except this time we were both naked. And I wasn’t worrying about Mandy, or Ross, or anything but being with him. I decided as I closed my eyes that if he wanted me to move to Glasgow, I would. Hell, if he wanted me to move to Antarctica, I would. I’d put up with all that snow and ice to be with the man I loved. And I quite liked penguins, so it’d be win-win. Maybe we could move somewhere in the middle, like Cumbria. I heard the lakes were beautiful. Wentworth and Fern would love it. We could go hill walking every day.

But was I really going to be able to move my business somewhere new? What about Will? What if he couldn’t find a veterinary opening anywhere I wanted to go? Glasgow was too far for a long distance relationship. Way too far.

I stretched and rolled away from him and onto my back. Reality kicked in. I’d spent the night with Will, and it’d been amazing. But tomorrow I was heading home and he’d be a long, long way away. The whole thing sucked. It sucked big time.

“Good morning,” Will whispered, rubbing my arm.

“You okay?”

“Yes,” I said, trying to sound upbeat. “You okay?”

“I’m very okay.”

I turned to look at him. Some stubble had grown overnight and he looked as good as ever.

“I had a lot of fun last night.”

“Me too.”

“I love talking to you.”

“I love talking to you, too.”

“Good.”

“Yes.”

I stared at him.

“I loved kissing you too,” he said, smiling.

“I loved kissing you back.”

“And … the rest. I loved that too.”

“Me too.”

“Jenny?”

I rolled onto my side and looked at him.

“Yes?”

“I love you.”

The stars and planets all aligned at once and I floated out of my body and looked down on us, all loved up, wrapped up in the sheets, and I smiled at myself.

“I love you too.”

“Really?”

“Truly.”

“I thought I ought to say it this time.”

“I wasn’t ready to be in love when I was seventeen.”

“I know.”

“But now … Will, I’ve been dreaming of this ever since we were here together that week.”

“Me too.”

I moved closer and kissed him gently. My stomach rumbled and I giggled.

“Hungry?”

“Starving.”

“Let’s go eat.”

I wrapped the sheet around myself and went in to the bathroom. Letting him see me walk around naked, wobbly bits and all seemed a bit much. It took me two years with Ross before I’d pass wind in front of him. Maybe that’s where I’d gone wrong, I thought as I stepped into the shower. I felt more comfortable with Will than I had Ross in the beginning. That had to be a good sign.

Before I’d rinsed my hair, Will climbed in beside me and we had delicious sex right up against the cold tiles, and I didn’t even care or think of penguins, or anything other than the way he made me feel. Which was incredible.

We walked into the breakfast room holding hands and no one seemed to bat an eyelid. It was no surprise to Hayley or Shane that we’d spent the night together and only when Will popped to the bathroom and Shane asked me what we were going to do come tomorrow when we had to go home, did I let myself deflate again and worry about the future.

“I’ve got no idea,” I told Shane honestly. “But he told me he loves me.”

“I’m very happy for you,” he said, smiling. “I’m not feeling so good.”

“I’m so sorry, I hadn’t noticed,” I said, taking him in. He did look a bit pale. “Hangover?”

“Maybe. I didn’t drink that much.”

Funny, we recalled that fact very differently.

“I’m going to lie down and read for a bit. Don’t worry about me today. Go have fun with your lover man.”

I grinned. Will was my lover man. Lucky me.

“You sure?”

“Defo.”

“Have you thought about Andrew?”

“I’m going to end it when I get back.”

“Oh Shane, really?”

“Yes.”

“Well, anything you need, anything at all, you tell me, right?”

“Thanks Jen.”

“See you later, yeah?”

“Yep.”

He grabbed a paper and headed back towards the stairs.

I watched Will walking back towards me, his eyes locked on mine, and with a silly, dreamy grin on his face. “What do you want to do today?” he asked me.

“Honestly?”

“Of course.”

“I’d love to go to Elgol, but it’s so dreary and cold.”

“We could go for a nice drive, sit in the car when we get there, look out. I’m happy with that.”

He went to ask the catering staff if they’d prepare us some sandwiches to take out and I went and found Wayne, who’d shown a few of my photos to his friend and was very happy to pay for them.

“You got any more?”

“Lots. If you give me your email address, I can share them with you.”

He handed me a card. “You’ve got a real knack for capturing the light. You ought to pitch yourself at travel magazines.”

“Oh, that’s very kind, thank you,” I said, flattered by the compliment. Maybe I didn’t have to stick to weddings for the rest of my life. The idea was quite appealing.

“I agree,” Will told me as he walked out to the car. “We’ll have to take some trips.” He winked and I got into the passenger seat.