Inevitable (14 page)

“
You know there’s no such thing as a
kickerback
right?”

“
Really? You’re some kind of ‘backer’ though, aren’t
you?”

“
You seriously are like
no one
I’ve ever met before. I’m the quarterback,
lish. And I swear you must be the first girl I’ve ever met who
hasn’t drooled over that fact.”

“
That’s because you don’t play proper football. There should
be goalies and midfielders… and from what I’ve seen of you
American’s on the telly your foot doesn’t even touch the ball, so
how the hell can you call it ‘football’?”

“
Us American’s, huh?” Christ, she’s adorable.
“
You’re so
cute, lish.” Instinctively I lowered my head and fixed my lips to
hers, brushing my tongue across her lower lip before giving it a
quick nibble. She left out a soft, hungry moan and for a second I
expected to see her head being pushed off my knee by the conking
great hard-on taking over my pants.

I teased her nipples through her shirt before cupping those
perfect tits of hers in my hands. It was like they were made just
for me the way they moulded into my palms – the perfect handful.
Then I pulled her up so she was straddling me and thrust my tongue
into her mouth, lapping up the taste of
something sweet which I couldn’t
place.

I sighed heavily as she popped open the buttons on my white
shirt and smoothed her fingers across my chest before rubbing the
pads of her tiny thumbs over my nipples. This was usually the point
where her hands would wander to my back and I mentally braced
myself, deciding I wouldn’t push her away again.
I could do this. I
could let somebody in. I could let
her
in.

But
the touch never came, and I wondered if this was a
conscious decision on her part because she knew how I’d
react.

Maddie
pulled back first and settled herself back down so she was once
again lying in my lap. Then I leaned down and kissed the tip of her
cute little button nose before broaching the idea that had been
bouncing around in my head before I distracted myself by kissing
her.

“
I’m gonna suggest something and I don’t want you to think
I’m stepping out of line,” I said, curling her chocolaty hair
ar
ound my
fingers.

“
Okaaaay?
”

“
Let me call Trudy and tell her about your mom.
She-”

“
I don’t think-”

“
Shh, let me finish. She’ll be able to arrange a doctor to
come and assess her. A good one – a specialist. I know you’re
scared, Maddie, but what happened last night isn’t normal. She’s
sick, lish. She could be a danger to herself… or to
you
.”

“
My mum would never hurt me,” she retorted, offended. “I can
take care of her, Blaine. I’ve done a good enough job up to now and
I can keep doing it. She needs
me
, not some shrink.”

“
I didn’t mean to upset you, but like you said you’ve never
seen her this bad before. Promise me you’ll think about it,
Maddie.”

“
Maybe,” she replied grudgingly. She’s so wonderfully
stubborn.

We spent the next few hours snuggled up together on the
couch. We laughed, we kissed and we played twenty questions. I was
the answerer and I had originally chosen the word
‘marble’ for her to
guess but then, being the child that I was, I changed it when she
asked the question ‘can I put it in my mouth?’

At one point she fell asleep on my lap and I stroked the
back of my thumb down her cheek and found myself shushing her. I
marvelled at just how pretty she was,
my eyes absorbing every visible inch of
her milky-white skin, her feathery soft lips, her naturally pink
cheeks…

How the hell could someone so fucking amazing be interested
in me?
Me?
Not just my body (although I liked to think she was fairly
keen on that), not my popularity or my football position (which I
was certain she genuinely couldn’t give two flying fucks about),
but just
me.

“
You should go before my mum wakes up. She doesn’t
really know you, it
might freak her out.”

“
I can’t leave you.” In that moment I didn’t want to ever
leave her again. Hell, I was even considering asking to come hold
my dick while I
went to take a piss. “You might need me.”

“
Then I’ll call you. I’ll be fine, Blaine. I always am.” I
stared at her in awe. She was so brave, so mature, so selfless –
everything I wasn’t.

“
Promise? I mean it, lish, promise you’ll call me if you need
me. Or even if you just want me. If you fancy talking about the
weather – just call me and I’ll be here.”

“
I promise. Thank you, Blaine - for everything. I didn’t
know it this morning, but I really did need you today.”

And so
after another kiss, which passed all too quickly, I left –
leaving a piece of my heart, and my sanity, with her.

Maddie

“
Let’s go shopping!” my mum said excitedly, bursting into
the living room
and revealing her freshly dyed fire-engine red hair whilst
I was eating my cornflakes at the round plastic table. It’d been a
week since the night I decided to call ‘her blip’ and she was just
about back to normal. Well, as normal as my mum
could
be.

“
I can’t. I have school remember?”

“
Well after school then. Please, Maddie, I’ve been a complete
pain in the arse since we got here and I want to make it up to
you.”

“
Mum, you know I don’t mind looking out for you. You don’t
need to buy me stuff. Besides, we can’t afford it. That money won’t
last forever,” I said, referring to the holdall full of stolen
pound notes which were now hidden under my bed.

I found the bag under a pile of dirty washing in her room
and
I counted
it whilst she was sleeping one night. There was fourteen thousand
pounds give or take a few hundred. My mum thought we were now
rolling in it and I knew next time she decided to go all happy on
me she would blow it all on new clothes and fancy gadgets that we
didn’t need. She just couldn’t seem to grasp the idea that it would
only see us through a few months after rent and bills started
eating away at it. It was that day I decided I needed a job – my
mum was simply too unstable to provide for us.

“
I just wanted to do something fun together,” she said with a
juvenile pout. I rolled my eyes and then as usual gave in to
her.

“
Well, maybe we can do a spot of window shopping. Grab a
pizza or something too?”
I just wasn’t comfortable dipping into our
ill-gotten gains. It might have seemed like a lot but it was all we
had and once it was gone we were screwed.

I found myself
warming to the idea though. Life with my mum hadn’t always been
hard work. I have many fond memories of shopping sprees and movie
nights together – not for a few years now though. I missed those
days.

“
That sounds perfect! It seems like so long since we’ve
spent any real time together. Hey, why don’t you invite that new
friend of yours – Lucy is it? I’d love to get to know your
friends.” Hmm, I just wasn’t sure if I wanted my friends (well,
friend – singular) to get to know
her
.

“
It’s Lori. And she’s probably busy – she’s got family staying
with her.” My mum’s bright greeny-blue eyes clouded over. I’d
offended her. “But I’ll ask her when she gets here,” I lied, having
absolutely no intention of doing so.

“
Great! I’m so excited – a real girls afternoon!” It was hard
not to smile when my mum was so happy. It was an occurrence that
was becoming rarer and rarer and it made me feel good that it was
me who’d caused it instead of the vodka.

“
That’s me,” I said as Lori’s horn sounded outside. “I’ll
see you later.” I stood up and quickly took my empty cereal bowl to
the kitchen before gathering my rucksack and gym bag full of Lori’s
old dancewear and planting a loud, exaggerated kiss on my mum’s
cheek.

My mum came bundling out of the house after me as I opened
the door to Lori’s car.
Shit.
I knew exactly what she was going to do and I
don’t know if I felt more embarrassed for myself, or the
predicament she was about to put Lori in.

“
Good morning, Lori!” my mum beamed, bending down and popping
her head through the door.

“
Um, hi, Mrs Davis,” Lori muttered nervously. I’d obviously not
told her my mum and I shared a different surname.

“
Oh please, call me Annie. Mrs anything sounds so
old
.
Anyway Maddie and I were wondering if you’d join us for a girly
shopping trip after school today?” I turned to Lori, guilty and
red-faced and mouthed ‘I’m sorry’.

“
Um,
sure?
” Lori looked at me, her eyes begging the question ‘is that
the right answer?’ I shrugged.

“
Great! I’ll see you girls later then!”

I threw my
head in my hands as my mum closed the car door, almost severing one
of my fingers in the process, and then she skipped back to the
house.

“
I’m so sorry, Lori. I was never planning to actually ask
you,” I admitted, knowing she probably only agreed because she felt
too awkward to do otherwise.

“
Don’t be so stupid.
You know I
love
shopping, Maddie. I only hesitated because you
looked like you wanted me to say no.”

“
I did. Well, I didn’t. I just mean – oh hell, Lori, you know
my mum isn’t exactly stable. I just don’t want you to feel
uncomfortable, that’s all.”

“
Look I know your mom has issues but it’s not like
she’s some psycho
serial killer. I don’t mind spending time with her one bit,
especially if it means we’re getting extra time to hang out
together too.” Lori winked at me and I instantly
relaxed.

I mentally slap
ped myself every single day for being so
judgemental about her in the beginning. Granted, I sometimes still
thought she was a few keys short of piano – especially after asking
‘how do they cook fries’ at lunch yesterday, but she was without a
doubt the best friend I’d ever had.

The remainder of our drive to school was spent talking
about Blaine
with Beyonce singing quietly in the background. I swear I
turned into a complete giggling imbecile whenever I spoke about
him. He’d taken over from Lori when it came to driving me home from
school and I was sure it was because he wanted to be close by while
I assessed what mood my mum was in.

He was
so impossibly sweet.

We spent the best part of almost every evening together and
when we weren’t together we were either talking on the phone or
texting.
When
we were together I made a conscious effort not to touch his back,
knowing how uncomfortable it made him. This made it kind of
difficult to get ‘lost in the moment’ because I was constantly
pre-empting my rogue hands’ next movements.

Perhaps this
is why we hadn’t progressed much further in the bedroom department
– unless you count the night he actually made me come through my
jeans! I think it would have happened if he hadn’t even touched me
and sometimes I felt embarrassed at how excited just the sight of
him made my body.

I didn’t mind that we were taking things slowly. In fact I
was relieved. I’d never got further than a quick fumble with anyone
else and I was worried I wouldn’t know what to do and would just
end up looking stupid. Sometimes I had to stop myself questioning
why Blaine hadn’t tried to coax me further though. I decided he was
trying to respect me (
do guys like Blaine even
know
how to respect women?)
– the only alternative to that
was he didn’t fancy me enough and that option made me feel like
shit so I ignored it. In turn this led me to ponder if I was enough
for him. I knew from Lori and cafeteria gossip that he’d never had
to wait more than an hour for a girl to give it up
before.

Sluts.

After my first
few days I started to feel like less of a novelty – less like the
new girl. That was until the moment I walked into school with
Blaine’s arm draped across my shoulders. It was then the constant
stares and whispers returned with a vengeance. I’d overheard
countless ‘what does he see in her?’ and even a couple along the
lines of ‘she must give seriously good head if he’s not dropped her
yet’.

Screw
them.

Lori tried to be happy for me but although she didn’t say
it directly, I knew she was worried about
me considering Blaine’s reputation. I
can’t say that didn’t worry me too sometimes, especially reading
some of the things written about him on the toilet doors. And I
also knew I wasn’t half as attractive as the girls who fell at his
feet every time he walked by. I’m not playing the ‘oh, woe me, I’m
so plain and boring’ card, I’ve just not used as much eyeliner in
my entire life as some of those girls use in one day.