Infinite Ties (All That Remains #3) (3 page)

“What if he abused her, Joey? What if he
beat her and I brought him here?”

“Then he’s a dead man.”

Airen nods. “She always swore that he
never hit her, but he hurt her deeply. That’s obvious, and I think it was way
before he broke her heart by abandoning Carson. There’s something we don’t
know.” He sighs. “I really fucked up.”

“Go tell her that.”

He does. He apologizes profusely, but only
through the door since Abby won’t unlock it or respond to him.

“Talk to her, Joseph. Just get her to let
you in, and make sure she’s okay,” he pleads.

“Wait here,” I demand. I’m in love with
the two most stubborn, bull headed people in the world. He acquiesces, slumping
onto the couch. They’re both so upset they overlooked the door that opens from
the porch into the guest room.

She doesn’t budge when I let myself in and
sit behind her on the bed. Her knees are pulled to her chest and she’s hiding
her head in her arms. She curls into a tighter ball when I rub her back. Is
this all a response to seeing her ex, or more about Airen’s actions? “Ladybug,
talk to me.”

She doesn’t respond. A chill runs through
me at her reaction. She isn’t crying or showing any sign she even heard me. Her
eyes are open, staring blankly at the wall. Abby’s never been comfortable
expressing her emotions, but she’s come a long way since we met, opened up to
me and Airen in ways she never could. I don’t want her to regress to this stage
where she simply shuts down and blocks it out.

“We don’t have to talk right now, but I need
you to answer me. Show me you’re okay.”

“I’m fine. Just let me alone.” Her voice
is monotone, void of emotion, but I still feel a surge of relief. She’d looked
damn near catatonic.

“Listen to me, sweetheart. I’m going to
get changed for bed and check on Walker. I’ll be back in ten minutes.” She
doesn’t reply.

Airen looks up hopefully when I return to
the living room. “How pissed is she?”

“Airen…she’s not…I don’t know how she
feels. She’s lying in bed, curled up fetal, staring at the wall. I’ve never
seen such a visceral reaction. I thought we might have to get Julie, but I did
get her to answer me. I think she’s just overwhelmed, and trying to block it
out.”

Airen’s eyes fill with tears which makes
mine do the same. If Abby dislikes crying in front of us, Airen loathes it. The
only time I’ve ever seen him cry is when he was half out of his mind with pain
and fear. “Oh God.” He starts toward the bedroom, but I grab his arm, and tug
him back to the couch.

“No. She can’t handle it right now.”

“You have to stay with her, Joey,” he
exclaims, his voice manic. “Don’t leave her alone.”

“Calm down. Of course I’m going to stay
with her.”

“Don’t even let her go to the bathroom by
herself.”

“Airen, what aren’t you telling me?”

 He scrubs his face with his hands. “She’s
going to hate me for this, but she hates me anyway,” he mumbles to himself.
“She told me she used to be suicidal.”

My heart drops into my feet. Our Abby? I
know she’s been through hell, but she’s such a fighter. “How long ago?” I
whisper.

“When she was with Jon, and before, when
she was a kid. She swore to me that she never considered it after Carson was
born.” I want to slap him. I want to scream at him and demand to know how he
could’ve kept something so important from me, but I can’t. My arms wrap around
him. No wonder he’s so afraid. This is why he wanted Abby and I together if
something happened to him. He’s afraid she’ll hurt herself. “What if I put her
back in that frame of mind? Back when she had no one.”

“She knows we love her, beautiful. She’s
just really upset. Let’s not overreact. I’ll stick to her like glue until we’re
sure she won’t hurt herself. Are you going to be okay?”

He nods.

“Just tap on the wall if you get worried,
and I’ll tap back if everything is fine. That way we won’t wake her. Don’t look
so terrified. We’ll get rid of Jon, and Abby will be fine. Things will look
better in the morning.”

“Take care of our girl, Joey. Tell her I’m
so sorry.”

“I will. Get some sleep. I mean it.”

Abby hasn’t budged an inch when I return.
She allows me to undress her down to her T-shirt and panties, quickly turning
her back and curling up again. I wish I knew what was going on in her head. Her
fear of him was palpable, but that isn’t what has put her in such a state of
despair.

She stiffens when I slip my arm around her
middle and pull her back against my chest. “Relax, sweetheart. Please, don’t be
afraid. Don’t you know I’d never let him hurt you?” Her chest hitches, but she
doesn’t cry. I’d rather see tears than this cold, detached response. This
silence. “Please, talk to me, ladybug. You’re scaring me.”

“I’m just tired. I need to sleep,” she
replies in that same disinterested voice.

“Okay,” I acquiesce, though I want to
shake the answers from her. Instead, I hold her close, giving her all the
security I can. “I’m right here when you need me, my girl. I love you.” Another
dry sob shakes her small frame, but she remains silent. After a few minutes,
her body goes slack and her chest rises and falls with shallow even breaths as
she falls into an exhausted sleep.

I’ve never been more awake in my life.
Abby…suicidal. My sweet girl was desperate and miserable enough to want to die.
The pain that revelation has triggered is indescribable. Lying here, gazing at
her face so slack and vulnerable, I know I’ll do anything to protect her. To
defend her from whatever shit her ex has planned, and if need be, save her from
herself. Just before I doze off, I return the light tap on the wall, reassuring
Airen that she’s okay. Though at the moment, we both know that’s pretty far
from the truth.

A soft moan of despair rouses me a few
hours later. Soaked in sweat, she’s writhing and struggling, the blanket
twisted around her, her breathing erratic. “You’re okay, Abby. I’m right here.
Stop fighting.”

“No…please,” she sobs, still asleep. Shit.
She’s having a nightmare. “Don’t…don’t tell them…please.”

“Abby, wake up!” Wide eyes filled with
panic stare at me in dismay as her confusion drains away. She dives into my
arms and clings to me, running her hands up and down my back as if assuring
herself that I’m real. “I’ve got you, baby. It was just a nightmare. You’re
safe.” She jumps and clutches me tighter when the bedroom door pops open. “Shh,
it’s just Airen.”

He crouches by the bed, running his
fingers down her face tenderly. When she cringes away from his touch, it hits
him like a physical blow. “Abby, please. I’m so sorry. I know you’re pissed and
you have every right to be. I’ll give you some time. Just remember I love you
and I’ll never let anything happen to you or Carson.”

“It’s too late,” she whispers. “He’s here,
and he’ll ruin everything.” Turning away from both of us, she buries her face
in the pillow. “Please, I just want to go back to sleep.”

Airen leans to kiss her head. “I’m going.”

I catch his hand before he can walk away.
“She’ll be okay.”

He nods and drops a quick kiss on my lips.
“Stay with her,” he whispers before departing, closing the door behind him. The
click of the latch is followed by the heartrending sound of Abby’s sobs. She
doesn’t resist when I cradle her in my arms. Her face is hidden in my neck as
she cries her heart out. While I would much rather hear her laugh, I’m relieved
to see any emotion from her at this point. It’s terrifying to see her check out
like that, just shut down and climb inside her own head. As much as I want to,
I know there’s no point in questioning her any further. She just can’t talk
about it yet. All I can do is hold her while she cries herself to sleep in my
arms.

When I wake, she’s lying on her back and
staring at the ceiling. “Abby? Are you okay, sweetheart?” Puffy, sad eyes gaze
back at me when I prop my head on my hand.

“Fine,” she mumbles.

“Can we talk about it?”

“There’s no point. The damage is done.”
Her voice is bitter and her face reflects her pain.

“I can’t stand to see you hurting like
this, ladybug. Talk to me. Tell me what you need.”

“I need you to tell me yesterday didn’t
happen. I need you to tell me Jon isn’t here, that Airen didn’t do this.”

My fingers run through her soft hair. “He
wasn’t trying to hurt you, baby. You know he wouldn’t. We don’t know what’s
going on with you. You won’t talk to us. What did Jon do to you? Why are you so
afraid of him?”

The bed squeaks as she bolts upright and
throws aside the covers. “I’m sure he’ll be happy to tell you all the gory
details.” She sighs and pulls on her jeans before brushing her hair and tying
it back.

“Abby.”

“Just drop it, Joseph. What’s done is
done. I’m sorry I had a meltdown last night. I’m fine now. I need to go make
breakfast.”

I catch her and pull her back against me,
my arms circling her waist from behind while my chin rests on her shoulder.
“You were crying in your sleep. Crying and talking. I know you have a secret.
Something you think Airen and I can’t accept or understand, but you’re wrong,
sweetheart. Whatever it is, we won’t judge you. There’s nothing that you could
say to change our love for you.” She shakes her head and gnaws her lower lip.
“Just think about it. I’m not going to pressure you. Come to either or both of
us when you’re ready to talk.” Her lips are so soft when I take them with a
gentle kiss. “Have faith in us, ladybug. Please, trust in our love for you.”

* * * *

True to his word, Jon doesn’t return that
day, allowing her time to consider her options. Right now, she has opted to
pretend everything is fine while regarding Airen with a passive aggressive
attitude that’s difficult to watch. Christ, she has a temper. At least it calms
our worries that she’ll hurt herself.

Airen approaches her after breakfast.
“Abby, I know I fucked up. Just tell me what to do.”

“You’ve done enough.” Her voice is flat,
uncaring.

“Do you want me to find where he’s
staying? Make him leave town? Forbid him from coming near you or Carson?”

“Don’t bother.”

“Abby!” He sighs, fighting to reign in his
temper.

Long hair whips through the air and hard
brown eyes sear him to the bone. “You don’t get it. He’s not just going to
leave. Unless you plan to guard Carson twenty-four seven, they’ll meet. I’m
sure he’ll be a wonderful influence.”

“I just thought…”

“I don’t care what you thought! He’s my
son! You had no right.”

“He’s my son, too. You agreed to that,
remember?”

“A fucking mistake that he’s paying for.”
Oh, she can cut him to the quick when she wants to. His expression reflects his
devastation for only a second before he tamps it down, disguising his distress
with fury.

The door slams behind her as she stalks
out to the porch.

“Fuck!” He drops onto the couch.

I’ve had enough. I’m going to straighten
her out. Abby stares at me warily when I sit beside her. “If you’ve come to plead
his case, I don’t want to hear it.”

“That was cruel, Abigail. I know you’re
upset, but you shouldn’t have said that. Airen loves Carson. He treats him like
his own son. You know that.”

Shaking hands run through her hair. “Why
didn’t he tell me? Why did he want Jon to find us?” she cries vehemently.

“I don’t know, but I know that whatever
self deprecating reason your shitty self esteem has dreamed up is wrong.” Hurt
shines from her face when she glances up at me. “I know you too well. So, what’s
your theory? He wants Jon to take you off his hands?” Ashamed and guilty, she
averts her eyes, showing me that I’ve hit the nail on the head.

“Abby, Abby, Abby.” I sigh, shaking my
head. Sometimes I have the urge to shake some sense into her. How much of her
self doubt and insecurity has come from Jon’s treatment? “After everything we’ve
been through, how could you doubt him? How could you doubt
me
?”

“This has nothing to do with you!”

“The hell it doesn’t! Wouldn’t I have to
be willing to let you go, as well? Get it through your thick stubborn head,
Abigail. We love you. You’re ours. Forever.”

“Not if Jon has his way,” she mumbles.

“Do you think we’d let him take you from
us?”

“He doesn’t have to. All he has to do is
talk. You were right. There are things in my past that I don’t want you to
know. I can’t stand the thought of it.”

“Abby.” Her body is warm in my embrace.
“There’s absolutely nothing he can say that will stop us from loving you.”

“I’m afraid you’re going to find out
that’s just not true,” she says softly.

“It is true. Without you, the color would
drain from my world. I couldn’t bear to get out of bed if I couldn’t see those
soft brown eyes or that shy little smile you get when I kiss your cheek. I
won’t let anything or anyone take that from me…including you.”