Inky (12 page)

“Please don’t take this the wrong way but it’s kind of personal.” I hesitated for a moment, knowing this woman had ensured me a place in this exhibit at the last minute and was likely the reason I would be a working artist instead of a struggling one. “If I tell you, can I have your word you won’t print it or tell anyone else?”

“Well, I’m even more intrigued now. You have my word.”

I rounded the corner and kept my eyes to the floor, letting her steps be my guide. We were only a couple of feet from the display wall.

“So, Inky, what am I looking at here?” She took a step just behind my right shoulder and I began without looking up.

“The left hand side is dark. The billowing storm, making its way across the ocean – it has movement, it’s uncertain whether it’s going to reach the mainland at this point. The right hand side is still light, full of hope and promise... the swirling sand blown up represents the lovers, the focal point…” I paused, wondering if I was going to actually continue.

“Don’t stop now. Please.”

“You wouldn’t expect them to be there, really. The landscape is the balance of their story together, light and dark... he’s comforting her. See his hands? She’s terrified; her form is being pulled toward the dark but he’s the light. He sings to her and he’s trying to pull her from the darkness.”

“I can see it now. I can also see it’s highly personal for you, Ms. Redding. We’ll talk business another day. We have much to discuss. This is the last time you’ll see this piece, isn’t it?”

“I think so.”

“I’ll leave you two alone then to say goodbye. See you next week.” I felt her eyes on me but didn’t meet them.

“Thank you, Ali... ” but she was gone. I felt her absence but confirmed it when I looked to empty space at my right.

At long last I lifted my head to look at my work. Work. This wasn’t work. It wasn’t a job. It was a pleasure. It was right up there with sex and chocolate. It was wickedness and euphoria all rolled into one. I didn’t want to rush this moment. I tried to remind myself that this was my goal, to take it in, every part of it. This was also a piece of my history.

“It’s even more beautiful than I remember it.”

I was not alone. His voice flowed over my exposed back to the nape of my neck and climbed to my ears. I felt my skin ignite with his rich smooth tone. Maybe this was the effect of the Cognac and champagne combined with the emotion of the painting. I was afraid to turn around. So many things could happen now. I could turn into a pillar of salt, unlikely. I could blush or say something inappropriate, more likely. But the most likely outcome would be that the tears that were just sitting there, holding on for dear life, would break free and expose me completely. I chose to look ahead. It wasn’t that I didn’t want to acknowledge him. I didn’t want to break the spell.

His hand rested at the small of my back and he spoke gently to me, “It’s magnificent. You captured it perfectly…Anika.” I stared ahead, my heart pounding in my chest. He moved to my side and took my hand in his. “Come on. I’ll take you home.” I opened my fingers and let him lead me out of the room, out of the hotel and into the unknown.

Chapter 13

I didn’t even say good bye to Abe. He waved at me as I walked away with this stranger. But he wasn’t a stranger at all. This man had been a presence in my life for over two months now. He seemed to pop up at significant times, always when I was vulnerable or I let my guard down. We didn’t speak during the entire drive down the coast and he never once let go of my hand. Now that we were only a few miles away, I didn’t want the drive to end. Almost as if reading my mind, he made a right and headed toward the harbor. At the top of a hill, a spot famous for making out and watching sunsets, he turned off the car.

“Come on.” He came to my door and opened it, reaching for my hand once again. I had only let go so he could get out of the car.

“You know who I am?” He asked.

“My benefactor.” I said sarcastically.

“Well, I did buy your painting if that’s what you mean. Did you ever look at my card?”

“Cole Lachlan Carlyle. Big tipper.” I announced.

“So you do know my name.” He smiled.

“How did you know I paint?”

“You mean, how did I know you’re an artist?”

“Semantics, but yes.”

“I came in to the bar again, hoping to see you. Your friend, Lisa…” He stopped and just looked ahead of him.

“Lisa? What did Lisa…” but I knew already. She told him. She told this stranger I’d been attacked. “What did she say exactly?”

He answered by wrapping his arms around me and holding me in a tender embrace. All at once I felt confused and cherished and safe. I felt safe. I lifted my own arms and retuned his affection and held him as close to me as I could. This was wrong, I shouldn’t be doing this. I was playing with fire, tempting this handsome man and myself. The only problem was it felt so comfortable and natural. I didn’t feel like I was doing anything wrong at all. I was exactly where I wanted to be.

Quite slowly, his hand glided up my spine, across my exposed skin. He grazed his fingers down the side of my neck across my collar bone, brushing the tops of each breast, sending a heat between my legs.

“You look beautiful. The dress, the color, it shows everyone what I saw that first day. You’re strong and determined but fragile at the same time, something you don’t want others to mistake as a sign of weakness.” His lips hovered over mine as he spoke, never quite touching me, filling me with a desire, just on the edge between pleasure and pain. “I want to kiss you so much. I want to show you what a beautiful woman you are. I want to appreciate you for you but I don’t want to add more pain to your life. Tell me what you want, Anika.”

I pressed against him, moving my neck into his lips, letting them kiss me, a preview of the undeniable pleasure I knew he was more than capable of giving me. How could I do this? How could I betray Evan? I was so caught up in the moment. Why couldn’t I have met him months ago, years ago? Why did he have to show up now?

“Stop,” I whimpered, pulling my body away but still wrapped in his arms. “Please, take me home. I’m a few blocks from Rusty’s. Make a right at Capo Park.”

His kisses on my flushed skin were lighter. He cupped my face in his hands and kissed my forehead, “You’ve done nothing wrong here, Anika. This was all me. I had to take the chance. Don’t for one minute feel guilty about this, okay? I think you and I have an inexplicable connection. I know you feel it. I felt it that day when you had that panic attack. I had to know if it was just me but then I saw the painting. Tell me…was it just me?”

“Please, I... I can’t. Please take me home.” I shook my head back and forth, “I love Evan. He’s my future.”

“He’s your now. He’s your safe but he doesn’t understand you, does he? You hold back with him?” How did he know me so well? Just from that brief moment, the unspoken hurt from our pasts, he knew me better than Evan or Aimes. He knew me better than anyone.

“Please take me home.”

He kissed each of my cheeks, took my hand and led me to the car. After he closed my door, I looked out the window and saw how black the ocean was. For a brief moment, I wished it would just swallow me whole. I was swimming in my own emotion. One of the happiest nights of my life had just become one of the most confusing.

“Hey…” he asked. I turned my head to him, trying once again to stop the tears from falling. He brought a thumb under each eye and brushed them away. “I took a chance,” he said, resigned. “I want you to be happy, Anika Redding. I have a piece of you that I will always treasure and that just has to be enough. Thank you for sharing your gift with me. I’ll take you home. Promise me though, if you ever need me, please call me. Any time at all. Just call me.”

***

I closed the door behind me and breathed deeply. I took a compact from the little bag I’d brought and checked my appearance and was actually surprised I still looked great. I could just say the champagne got to me, that’s why my eyes were tired and red.

I walked into the quiet house. Aimes and Lisa were still working. Gus would be at the bar with Aimes and Evan wasn’t back from L.A. yet. I didn’t even look for anyone’s car. I just walked in. I wished Evan could have seen me dressed up so I decided to leave my ensemble on as long as possible. I was proud that even though I’d been faced with such an incredible temptation, I didn’t give in. I hadn’t kissed Cole Carlyle. As much as I wanted to deny it, he’d been right. Everything he said to me about my relationship with Evan, he was right. But I also knew he and his wife had only recently split. Maybe he was just really good at reading people. No, that wasn’t it and I knew it. This man
knew
me. We had our moment, our shared connection but it was over before it even began. I was engaged to Evan. I loved Evan and I just needed affirmation. I would tell him just how much when he walked in that door.

***

My buzz was wearing off. It was only one o’clock in the morning and I knew I still had some time before Aimes and Gus came home. If I stayed in my room, I’d just fall asleep so I decided to have some wine, await their arrival and tell them all about my big night. I made quick work of the cork and took a few glasses out of the cupboard and wiped them until they sparkled. My job as a bartender ensured this would happen for the rest of my life. I took a sip of the chilled Chardonnay from the glass and set it down when I heard a thud coming from the end of the hall.

I wasn’t alone in the house. My room-mates were not home. Panicked, I knew I had to hide and fast. It occurred to me then that Papa Joe could have easily been watching me, waiting for another opportunity to have his way. He never took no for an answer and the fact that he was interrupted last time would ensure his determination to make me suffer and get what he wanted. Please God, I can’t take any more tonight.

I padded lightly to the slatted pantry door in the kitchen and opened it. Once inside, I tried to calm my breathing while I looked for something I could potentially use as a weapon. I just had to stay quiet. Every slight movement I made rustled the thick fabric of my dress. It seemed to amplify in the tiny space. I didn’t know if it was Papa Joe but hopefully an intruder would never look in the pantry. They’d look for jewelry or cash. I heard a door open at the end of the hall and another loud thud, something hitting the wall. The sound grew closer but I couldn’t see anything. My heart raced, waiting to catch a glimpse of him. Reality struck when I realized that whoever it was, that person was here when I came home. I could have been killed. I was sure the door was locked though, I used my key. Ah fuck, you idiot, Inky! What intruder uses the front door to break in? It was probably through a window. All these thoughts raced through my head as the sound grew closer.

I heard a stifled gasp…Oh my God, Lisa! That’s Lisa! What do I do? I looked around again, maybe a heavy can of something, soup or chili. I could just start throwing them until I got the phone and called nine one one. She gasped again, she can’t breathe, he must be choking her! Oh my God! I felt a cold sweat forming on the back of my neck. I can’t be a coward. Maybe Joe couldn’t find me and got Lisa instead. I had to help her. I could hear her trying to say something. Let me just hear you talk, Lisa. Just let me hear your voice! If something happened to her, if Joe hurt her…I would never forgive myself for bringing more drama to my friends. Her breathing was getting heavier and more irregular, fuck! What do I do, what do I do?! I couldn’t control my breathing any longer, little tears slid down my face. Then I heard her speak.

“When do you think she’ll be back?”

Huh?

“I don’t know? That’s the fun of it though, right?”

Evan?

“Does she ever let you fuck her like this?”

“Let’s not talk about her. You promised.” I could hear him thrusting into her as my heart was breaking in the pantry. I gripped the shelves on either side of me to hold me up as my legs threatened to give way. He moved her against the kitchen island and I had a front row seat to their betrayal. They’d slowed their amorous deceit to carry on a conversation.

“Why did you even ask her to marry you?”

“I got caught up in the moment.” He said it like it was no big deal. I was surprised he didn’t shrug his shoulders.

“Did you ever tell her about us?”

“Of course not, baby. She would never have trusted you.”

Baby. I called all my lovers baby. But it was ours, me and Evan, not them.

“She must be a pretty bad judge of character to trust either one of us.” They both laughed. They were laughing at me while they fucked in our kitchen.

“Ahh.” She cried out.

“Say it, baby. Say it.” He asked her. It was right then that I realized that night at the beach, he wasn’t having sex with me, he was having sex with her. He’d played us both. Lisa used to get high all the time; she would have brought a pipe to the beach with him.

“You’re…the fucking…best!” She cried out.

Seriously?

“That’s right, baby. I’m the fucking best!”

He pulled her to the edge of the island, went to his knees and started to eat her out. She threw her head back and grabbed the edges, “Oh my God, Evan, yes. Oh, that is so. Fucking. Good.”

I heard the front door slam.

“What the fuck is this?” Aimes. It must be after two. I watched Lisa hop down and hide behind the island, grabbing a dishtowel to cover her breasts from Gus’s view. Evan stood next to her to hide his nakedness. I had a clear view of Evan’s semi-erect dick while he turned to the side to try and cover her and a perfect view of Lisa’s perfect ass.

Bitch.

“I knew it!” Aimes screamed. “What the fuck is wrong with you, Lisa? How could you do this to her? You were there, drying every tear she cried over this cock sucker!”

“Aimes, I... ” Evan tried to talk but Aimes was clearly not going to allow that.

“Fuck you, Evan. Shut the fuck up!” Her voice was high and shrill.

“Honey, do you want me to…”

“Are you fucking kidding me right now, Gus?” I could see how hard she was breathing. I had never seen Aimes this mad, not once.