Inner Guidance (23 page)

“Smiling! Can you believe that?” exclaimed the doctor who was standing just above my head. He continued to sing HU while he proceeded with painstaking care. I relaxed and let them do their work while the entire room filled with this holy sound.

O
ver the gentle chanting of HU, I could hear my daughter’s voice in the hallway, just outside the operating room of this little country hospital.

I heard her demanding to see her mommy. Sarah sounded fine. I smiled at her brashness. I had not seen her since the wreck, and she had not seen me. I asked if Sarah could be brought to me. I wanted to see her and reassure her. I knew she wouldn’t be disruptive, and the doctor agreed it was a good idea. Shortly, they brought her right into the operating room, “flying” her small body over my chest. It took four people, each one holding a little arm or leg. They all were laughing, including Sarah, as she “flew” into the room.

Looking down on me from above with a frown, she asked, “Are you OK, Mommy?”

I assured her that I would be fine soon. I could hardly believe my eyes. She appeared totally unharmed but was dismayed, even indignant, to see the shape I was in.

“Mommy, you bleed, and you’re dirty,” Sarah admonished.

“I know, Honey, but they’ll clean me up. I just got hurt a little,” I whispered. “You’re not hurt at all. How did you end up looking so good?”

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“My bag of clothes went over me, Mommy.”

The oversized duffel bag of clothes had been stuffed between the dashboard and the seat, directly in front of Sarah. On impact, the open bag had been forced over her like a protective cocoon. She had sustained only one small cut on her back, which had been treated readily—

a quick suture or two, and she was fine.

The nurses told me that Sarah’s dad was on his way to collect her, and he would take her with him. I would remain in the hospital. I hated having Sarah taken from me, but I was in no condition to object or to take care of her.

Once Sarah left the room, it was time to resume treating my injuries. My ear was cut deeply from behind, and my head still needed more stitches. As they began, the doctors told me I would have to remain completely still. It took no great effort at this point, because I felt calm and relaxed.

The doctors knew just what to do. They sang HU

to me as the cleanup continued. Even I was surprised that I felt no pain. I could sense their hands and equipment touching me, and I could feel pressure, but it did not hurt at all. Throughout the process, from this point on, I was relieved from the excruciating pain and was able to respond easily to the doctors and nurses who attended me.

I
awoke in a private room in the hospital, with a dull throbbing in my head and every part of my body.

I slowly opened my eyes. Standing in front of me were two doctors and two nurses from the operating room.

Once we had exchanged brief greetings and pleas-antries, they said they had some questions for me. Of course, I thought they intended to ask something about Inner Guidance_CH 16-21.p65

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the wreck or how I was feeling after last night’s ordeal.

I was mistaken.

After a very brief exchange about my health, they plunged into their questions. They wanted to understand what had happened in the operating room the night before—especially about the technique we had used, singing the word
HU.
They checked the pronun-ciation with me. Yes, they had it correct: It is H-U, a two-letter word, and is pronounced like the word
hue
.

They had a laundry list of things they wanted to understand. What is HU? Where did this word come from? How does it work? Where does it get its power?

How does one know when to use it? How had it provided such a calming effect, eliminating pain and helping so effectively in the operating room?

Oh, where to begin? Although I was happy to tell them about the HU, I answered haltingly. “HU is an ancient name of God,” I said. “Singing it on a regular basis raises the vibration of the body and enhances the consciousness. It’s known throughout the world and is often used in the Spiritual Exercises of Eckankar. I’ve studied this teaching for several years and learned to sing
HU
as a daily spiritual exercise.”

They pulled up chairs, obviously interested. They’d clearly never seen anything like the effect of singing HU

and were intrigued by what had happened in the operating room. As we continued to talk, I admitted I was also impressed.

I shared the Eckankar perspective that life is a school for each individual, where he or she learns to live in creative harmony with all aspects of life. And that sometimes the lessons come in unexpected ways and serve our greatest good, even when it does not appear to be so.

And I also told them that when we sing HU, we trust Inner Guidance_CH 16-21.p65

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that we are aligning ourselves with the will of God—

whatever that may be—without trying to control the outcome. Indeed, we find that often the greatest blessings may come through hardships, whether we like it or not.

One of the doctors pressed me with questions that he apparently had thought of during the night: “Can we use this word with other patients, or is it just for you?

And how do we use it? And when?”

“The HU is for everyone,” I said. Again I explained that as a student of Eckankar, I practiced spiritual exercises in which I sang HU daily—with an open heart.

This helped me develop a dependable sense of personal inner guidance—which had obviously supported me through last night’s ordeal.

“Anyone can sing HU; it’s for everyone,” I assured them gently. “Singing HU helps you stay in tune with your higher self and connect with Divine Spirit. You can sing it daily, or whenever you need help or want to connect with inner guidance.

“People of all ages, backgrounds, and religions can work with the HU and enhance their lives and faith.

“That does not mean that life will not have hardships when we sing HU. Life’s challenges are necessary to help us grow spiritually.”

I felt I should add an important point. I didn’t want to dampen their enthusiasm, but singing HU means surrendering to God’s will. So I said, “You don’t try to direct the HU or its power by saying, ‘heal this person’

or ‘take away the pain,’ or anything like that. It uplifts and transforms for the greatest good, but we may not even know what that is.”

“The results were outstanding. It was so effective!”

declared one of the nurses. “I’m amazed we haven’t heard of this before.”

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“I learned to sing HU though Eckankar, which is an ancient spiritual teaching followed by thousands of people throughout the world,” I told my little audience.

“It is known as a direct path to God. More and more people are hearing about it all the time.”

By now, I was exhausted, and as much as I wanted to continue the conversation, I had to laugh and beg for rest. I asked one of the nurses to pull my rescued handbag from a little closet. In it I had a book,
ECKANKAR—

The Key to Secret Worlds
,
by the modern-day founder of Eckankar, Paul Twitchell.

Still intrigued by the events of the night before, they were totally fascinated. When I said they could keep the book, they negotiated among themselves to determine who would get to read it first.

Before they left, however, they wanted to know more about inner guidance. I mentioned briefly that despite the fact that I had barely survived a terrible accident, I had been
guided
through the entire experience. I made it through this ordeal by using the resources and awareness available to me. They nodded in agreement. I assured them that singing HU could help them develop a greater connection with God.

Having experienced the compelling effect of the HU

and the change in the energy in the operating room, they offered no arguments. They wanted this for themselves and their other patients. I clarified that my inner connection had been strong because I regularly practiced singing HU
for about twenty minutes each day—one of the simplest Spiritual Exercises of ECK, in which you learn to listen for the whisperings of Divine Spirit.

I assured them that no matter what religion or faith they may practice, singing HU with love in their hearts would enliven their spiritual life. They all seemed eager to try this too.

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Winning the

Lottery of Life:

Inner Guidance on

How We Create Our Lives

A little-known benefit of a true Master is his
ability to change fate. He has the spiritual power
to alter the line of destiny once an individual
reaches a higher state of consciousness. If there
is enough unfoldment, a true Master will cancel
unnecessary karma.

—Harold Klemp

Past Lives, Dreams, and Soul Travel
30

I
was grateful to return to my own apartment.

At first, I slept all day and night, barely waking when those who helped care for me came or

went. I was slowly recovering, and trying to absorb all that had happened. I had learned much more about the great benefit of listening to my inner guidance and the power of the HU.

Yet, I was still wondering about this entire experience and what it meant.

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Some days later, I found the letter I had written to Sri Harold—still on my dresser where I had left it before the wreck. So much had happened since I awoke on that morning, the day of the wreck, and recorded my wonderful dream! I stared for some time at the envelope, then opened the letter and read it.

I was reminded that in the dream I’d “won the lottery of life” and sensed great fortune being bestowed on me.

“Thank you for the great blessings that are about to enter my life,” I had written. I couldn’t help but laugh at that. Yet I
had
won a “lottery” of sorts—with a huge prize: Although the car accident was not the kind of gift I’d have hoped for, the outcome was a great blessing when compared with the most likely alternative. I had lived!

I had made the choice to live and been given the inner direction to return to my body—and then to sing HU to help in the operating room.

I had also been given inner guidance in the dream so I would know that this was not an accident, but an important cycle of my life. I sensed that old, limiting karma had ended and a wonderful new chapter of my life was beginning.

Nonetheless, I also recognized I had to look further.

I had to look more deeply to see the greater spiritual gifts that were a part of this experience—and to discover where inner guidance would lead me next.

I
kept a dream journal by my bed so I could capture my dreams each night before I forgot them. One day, as I was dozing during my recovery, I had a vivid dream with Sri Harold, and I jotted it down in my journal.

He was guiding me in the dream.

He explained that we were meeting so he could ask Inner Guidance_CH 22-27.p65

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me some questions. His questions would help me realize the full import of my spiritual experience with the accident.

“How old was your father when he died?” the

Mahanta, my inner guide, asked me.

“My father? He was young—just in his thirties.”

“And how old are you now? About the same age?”

“Yes,” I agreed.

“And how did your father die?”

“In an accident. He died instantly in an accident.”

I sadly recalled the day my father passed away—the sorrow, the unspeakable pain, and the upheaval in our family. I had been eight years old when he died, and I was inconsolable because we were so close.

“And what just happened to you?” the Mahanta gently asked.

A faint light was beginning to dawn. “I had an accident,” I said very slowly.

“And what did you wish when your father died?” he prompted me.

Oh, yes, I remembered that part too. “I wished that I could die just like my daddy did. I wanted to go to be with God in heaven, just like my dad,” I admitted.

“And what has happened here?” he asked. Then he nodded in my direction.

His final question went unanswered. The Mahanta had disappeared. I woke up.

And what has happened here?
The question repeated itself in my mind. My entire being trembled with the answer. I had received the greatest gift of all. The gift of life!

“I know what the ‘lottery of life’ is!” I shouted to myself. It is another lifetime within this lifetime. It certainly appeared to be a chance to move beyond old Inner Guidance_CH 22-27.p65

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karma. It presented a new chance to live, free from past grief and entanglements.

As Sri Harold writes, “People generally don’t realize that without the protection of divine love, even the most idle thought creates a karmic situation that needs to be resolved sometime later.”31

As a child, I had indeed repeated over and over that I wanted to be with my daddy. In fact, I had believed I wanted to die just like he did. I begged God to somehow let me go and be in the heavenly worlds. It did not seem wrong, for in my great sorrow, I had wanted to go to be with him and God. It was as if my beloved father had taken off on a great adventure and left me at home, and I very much wanted to go with him. Never mind that the journey, the great adventure my father went on, was one that we call death.