Innocent Lies (12 page)

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Authors: J.W. Phillips

Tags: #adult abuse, #adult abuse recovery love, #romance adult contemporary, #adult and contemporary romance

BOOK: Innocent Lies
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His grasp tightened. I couldn’t
move. His breathing was hard and fast against my face. “We will get
it right, my love. I won’t let you hurt anymore.” We laid there for
an immeasurable period of time. He physically relaxed and calmed
around me. “I wish you could see your worth. You’re the most
beautiful woman I have ever laid my eyes on. To think you were
living in hell. No more, babe. No more running. Just me and
you.”

 

I nodded slowly. There were still
times when I believed I did something to deserve everything I had
been through. I turned over scared I would see pity or a small look
of distaste in his eyes. Instead, I was greeted by warmth and
tenderness pouring out of them. It startled me and it felt amazing
that for once someone believed in me.

Ethan pulled me over on top of
him. He soothed his hand down my back, pushing the remains of my
doubts and fears away. I truly relaxed for the first time in my
life.

 

“Make love to me.” I
whispered

 

“I can’t, not now.”

 

“I need it. I don’t want to feel
dirty anymore.” I softly placed a kiss on his lip.

 

He tossed me on my back and
pressed his body over mine, still his expression remained
unreadable. He tapped his fingers across my lips. Each tap had a
direct line to my most sensitive spot. I grasped for a breath, not
sure if I would be able to breathe again that night

 

“You have the most
sensual mouth. I dream about it.” With those words, he forcibly
covered my lips with his. I could’ve tasted him forever and never
grown tired.

 

“Beautiful Dylan,” he moaned,
sucking my bottom lip into his mouth. He dropped his weight down
onto one arm and slowly brought his other hand to the back of my
knee, bending it. I let my legs fall open, wanting him closer. His
hand slid farther down the inside of my thigh as he pressed a small
line of kisses down my neck and across my chest; then tugged at my
nipples with his teeth through my tee-shirt. Desire and for the
first time ever lust coursed through my body. His hand found the
hem on my shirt and his fingers barely grazed over my skin. My eyes
rolled to the back of my head when he yanked up on it. “Take it
off, all of it. I want to look at you.”

 

I had bared my soul to him, could
I bare my body too? Without a sound, I sat up, removed my top, and
unfastened the hook on my bra, letting it fall free. His eyes
hungrily devoured me as his hands kneaded my breast. I
trembled.

 

“I shouldn’t want you like this.
But you’re all I want.” He twisted my nipple between his teeth.
First my right then my left. An explosion occurred between my legs.
I needed to feel him. Laying half naked beneath his fully clothed
body sent an ache to my deepest core. I shifted underneath him,
pushing myself against the hardness busting out of his jeans, and
grounded my sex into his erection. I never imagined I could connect
with someone on such an intimate level, and throbbed to feel him
touch me there. He trailed his nose along my cleavage. “You’re
perfect. I’ll never get enough of you.”

 

“Touch me.” I pleaded.

 

“Where, my love?” He smiled down at
me with heated eyes. “Here?” He stroked my upper arm. “Or maybe
here.” He kissed the top of my shoulder. He was playing a game I
was sure to lose.

 

“Here,” I said
pushing myself against the roughness of his jeans.

 

“Like this?” He circled his finger
around my navel. I shook my head. “Tell me, Privy. Tell me what you
want.”

 

“Touch me down here.” I grabbed his
hand and stroked it over my crotch. “Please, E.”

 

His eyes never shifted from mine
as he hooked a finger in the bands of my pants, pushing them to my
knees. I used my feet to remove them completely. The need I felt
was at a new all-time high. I never dreamed of wanting a man to
touch me like that. At that moment, I couldn’t dream of anything
but him and me together.

 

“E.” I slipped my
hands into the back of his pants and squeezed a pair of rock-hard
ass muscles. I itched for him to stroke me.

 

“Shit, Dylan,
you’re too much. I want you more than I want my next breath.” His
finger slid over my wetness and circled around my clitoris. I
started to speak when he propelled his finger inside me. My body
bucked as it started to buildup to an uncontrollable release. He
sunk two fingers in as I quivered around the thickness. “Damn,
you’re so fucking tight.”

 

“I’m . . . I’ve never been with
anyone . . . since they . . .” I started to say. He stalled and
then slowly pulled his fingers out. “E, please I need this. I need
you.”

 

He rolled over onto the bed. “You
have me, but I can’t give you what you need. I would lose control
if I did.” He licked the fingers he had buried in me. The naughtier
he was the more my body ached for him. “I don’t know how not to
hurt you.” He tugged the comforter up, covering my bare body. “I
will make love to you, but when I do, it won’t be like this.” He
placed the softest kiss on my lips. “Plus, I don’t have any condoms
and I’ve never had sex without one.” His voice sounded
harsh.

 


Are you mad?”
Or totally disgusted by me?
My broken soul shattered into even tinier
pieces. He wanted me I felt his erection large and hard against my
leg. Did the idea that those monsters used me for their pleasure
make me dirty in his eyes?

 

“Never mad at you, Privy. I’m mad
at myself. I don’t know how to make love to you and not hurt you.”
He kissed the tip of my nose. “Get dressed, I’ll meet you in the
den.”

 

He left me limp and
numb.
He didn’t know how to
make love to me and not hurt me?
I wasn’t breakable. Someone can’t break what had already
been broken.

 

I found Ethan lying on the sofa.
He pulled me over on him. “My love, I’ve never denied myself
anything. But I’ve never cared before either.” Ethan’s voice was
low and husky. I started to push off of him, but his arms tighten.
“Let me hold you. You might never let me touch you again when you
learn the truth.”

 

Totally dead inside, I never
comprehended what he was saying. We laid there for the longest time
before I finally drifted off to sleep.

 

Later that Day

 

I kicked as a hand wrapped tightly
around my ankle and pulled me across the dirty wood floor. I heard
a laugh then received a hard punch across the left cheek. I felt
the pain, but didn’t have time to scream before I was jerked to my
feet and had someone tying my hands behind my back.

 

“She is beautiful. Is she your
daughter?” The man at my back asked.

 

“Hell, naw, she’s my bitch’s little
rugrat.” Louie answered.

 

“And she’s a virgin?” The man asked
as he roughly shoved his hand down my panties.

 

“Yeah, and she is all yours. If you
promise to forgive the debt?”

 

I was pushed onto my mom’s bed. My
skin itched as the images of all the horrible things that had taken
place on those torn sheets crossed my mind. I looked up and caught
my first glance of the man who was about to do those same things to
me. I zoned out and went numb. I didn’t want to be present for the
taking of my virginity.

 

I retreated when a hand clutched
my arm. “Privy, wake up. It’s me Ethan.”

 

“Please, stop. It
hurts.” I screamed out.

 

“Dylan,” Ethan
said softly numerous times before I hysterically sat up. “It’s a
dream.” He pulled me back into his arms. “I’m right here, babe. No
one is going to hurt you,” he whispered into my hair.

 

I wished I could’ve told him what
all they did to me. That camper held me for three days. Those three
men and Louie tortured me for four long days. I was a shattered
soul and I wasn’t even sure he could put the pieces back together.
He kissed the back of my head. I was thankful he didn’t ask any
more questions.

 

We spent the day
eating take-out and checking-out
Netflix.
After much
joking and trying, he finally got me to smile and even belly laugh.
The day had been long, tiring, and touching. However, I had one
last request. That shocked even me. “I want to get drunk and forget
everything.”

“You don’t drink, my
Privy.”

 

“You won’t let
anything happen to me. I want to forget.” I nestled closer to
him.

“You’re right, I will never let
anything hurt you ever again.”

 

I cut my eyes up to meet his. “I
just hope you don’t hurt me.”

 

It was five o’clock somewhere but
it was four o’clock at the bar we found ourselves in. The table was
lined with shot glasses. I lost count after the sixth one. Blood
ran hot through my veins giving me the warm and fuzzyes, my head
swam in a haze. Ethan licked salt off my shoulder, making it hard
to concentrate. I had forgotten everything but him. I could see why
my mom turned to drugs and booze after my dad’s death. Only I had
Ethan, who would never let me lose control.

 

“I’ve got to go
pee. Keep your cute little ass right here. I would hate to kill
someone tonight.” He sloppily kissed my cheek. Amazing after a
dozen shots of Jack Daniels, Ethan still walked with the greatest
of ease. Did anything break his smooth exterior? I swirled the last
few drops around in the glass. The bar was almost empty and eerily
quiet. Half asleep, my head settled on the back of the booth. The
liquor had gotten to me. I had passed drunk and was sloppy.

 

“Dylan, is that you?” I heard come
from an older and dignified voice. A voice I knew too well. Mr.
Larry O’Neal, the D.A. that saved my life and helped me get to
where I was, stood over me smiling. I had almost forgotten the hero
worshipping I had for him. His black hair was a tad grayer but he
still had the same amazing magnetism.

 

“Hello, sir,” I
said as he sat in the booth across from me. I tried sitting up
straight, and rolled my eyes hoping he would quit shifting from
single to double images. Drunk was not how I imagined seeing him
again.

 

Larry held up a finger signaling a
waiter. “Dylan, I wanted to talk to you about your date
tonight.”

 

“Ethan?” A small
shiver racked my spine. “You know him?” Of course he did, Ethan
worked for the D.A.’s office.

 

“Ethan is bad news. Do you have any
idea how many humiliated girls he made believe he cared then threw
them to the side? He has always been partial to redheads
though.”

 

Ethan’s hand gripped my shoulder
and his body shifted in the booth beside me. His fingers entwined
with mine and tighten. “Larry, why don’t you enlighten her then?”
His voice alarmed me. “After all, if she means nothing to me I
wouldn’t care.”

 

“Ethan, have you told her about the
recent death of your brother? The details that is?”

 

“She knows about
that. The details are not necessary.” He said. I rested my head on
his shoulder until he relaxed. No matter the gratitude I had for
Larry, Ethan was mine.

 

“Listen to me,
Dylan,” Larry said. The air suddenly shifted. An odd sense of power
and anger radiated from Ethan. My heart skipped. Larry’s eyes never
shifted from mine. “Ask him about his family. You might even know
them. You’re too good for him. He only wants you for his needs. He
doesn’t give a damn about you. I don’t believe anyone in his family
even has a heart capable of love.”

 

Ethan leaned over the table. Their
noses nearly touched. “You’ve had your say. Let this be a warning
to you and yours. If you so much as look in her direction again,
I’ll destroy everything you hold dearest.” He whispered in his
ears. “Give that cute little girl of yours a kiss from her Uncle
E.”

 

Larry stood up. “Dylan, you’re
smarter than this.”

 

I watched him walk to the bar and
order a drink. Ethan turned, his eyes searched mine. “That is a
line of crap and you know it? No wonder you hate lawyers. If you
had to deal with anything like him.” He kissed the tip of my nose.
“I do care.”

 

I nodded and sighed as some of the
tension left my body. That was weird, but at least Ethan didn’t
ignore me. More he showed the passion he had for me. Ethan wrapped
his arm around me and lightly touched my face. “Dance with
me?”

 

I glanced over at Larry, who was
openly groping a young twenty-something. How could I have ever
worshiped that man? “If I don’t fall first.” I replied.

 

“I will always
catch you.” He winked and tugged me out onto the empty dance
floor.

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