Innocent Lies (26 page)

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Authors: J.W. Phillips

Tags: #adult abuse, #adult abuse recovery love, #romance adult contemporary, #adult and contemporary romance

BOOK: Innocent Lies
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His clothes went flying through
the room faster than I could free myself from mine. He slammed into
me and picked me up. “I don’t want them. I don’t want anybody but
you. And don’t you ever doubt I love you.”

 

He threw me on the couch and
lowered his body over mine. Ethan was as broken as I was. I had
hoped we could heal each other, but that was a task too big for the
both of us. Ethan ran his hands over my body. My body convulsed at
the thought that I would never feel his hands on me again. He
nipped at my lower lip with his teeth before kissing me.

 

He kissed a trail down my body and
ran his tongue over my inner folds. I pulled at him, not wanting
him down there. “Please, Privy, let me taste you.” His eyes closed.
“Please.” He looked back up at me with a fire burning in
him.

 

I shook my head back and forth
trying to force the tears back in my eyes. I couldn’t give that to
him. I thought back to just a few days ago when I first took him in
my mouth. I would never get to experience that again. I couldn’t
bear to see him between my legs. My heart sure couldn’t bear to
feel it.

 

He made his way back up my breast,
rolling his tongue over the harden nipples only fueling the fire in
me. Keeping his hands on each breast, he overtook my lips. His kiss
had an extra softness to it. He knew this was goodbye and didn’t
want to rush it. He was kissing me goodbye. Goodbye to a normal
life, goodbye to feeling safe, goodbye to Ethan and Dylan
forever.

 

“E, please, I need
you inside of me.” I wanted him so much I could feel him before he
even touched me.

 

There was nowhere on my body that
Ethan didn’t touch. I wanted to memorize his touch. I wanted to
brand the feel of him on my soul. He took my breast in his mouth.
“I love you so fucking much, Dylan, always know that is the
truth.”

 

Did Ethan even know what the truth
was? He positioned himself at my entrance. I couldn’t take any more
chances. We had played chicken too many times already having
unprotected sex without me being on the pill. “E, you need a
condom.”

 

I twisted my head to face the back
of the couch. I couldn’t handle seeing his eyes. I heard him
rustling in his pants, the tear of the foil, and groan as he slid
the condom down over his cock. It was not the feel of the condom
that made him moan, but the realization that this time was
different. I never wanted one before.

 

Ethan caressed my legs with the
lightest of touch and then slowly pushed them apart. His eyes were
brimming with tears as he slid inside of me. The invasion was
welcomed. I was healed when I was connected to Ethan.

 

He started rocking inside of me.
His eyes never left mine. I wanted to reach up and wipe the tears
away, but I only gripped onto his arms tighter. With each thrust,
the realization that this was it hit us both. He did love me, but
it was too late. I couldn’t live with all the lies anymore. Sarah
said all you needed was love. Sarah was wrong. You needed trust
more.

 

I locked my legs around his waist.
His tears fell down my skin as he pressed a kiss against my neck. I
couldn’t hold back any longer. I brushed my lips over his. “I love
you, and only you. It will never be another.” I
whispered.

 

I clung to him as he screamed out
in pain, in love, in lust. He pumped inside of me three more times
before going completely still.

 

“Don’t. We need each other. I need
you.” He pleaded.

 

I looked out over his living room,
knowing I would never see it again. He had placed a picture of me
on his coffee table. I let my legs and arms fall to the cushions on
the couch. I no longer made contact with his body.

 

“Bye, E. I just want to go
home.”

 

“You are home. Your home is with
me.”

 

I clutched my stomach. It was all
too much, the life I wanted with him was a life I couldn’t have. I
rose up on my arms and kissed his lips. “Good bye, E.”

 

I rolled out from under him. He
watched in silence as I dressed. I felt like I was about to crumble
under his glare. Why did goodbyes have to hurt so badly?

 

“I will give you anything you want,
but a goodbye. I will never tell you goodbye.” He
stated.

 

The pain was too
much. I dropped my gaze from his and made a dash to my car. I
unlocked the door and crawled in. For the first time in my life, I
was unable to go numb. The enormity of what I did couldn’t be
dimmed.
What have I done?
Fuck, I left him.

Epilogue

Ethan

 

Hell, I will send her orange
primroses everyday if it means I can have her back.

 

I’d tried forgetting her in the
past, but now that I’ve touched her, held her, hell, tasted her. I
was positive I would never get over her. My heart froze. The
emptiness in her eyes would haunt me every day for the rest of my
fucking life. I no longer cared who I hurt. I could have never
brought the amount of pain my heart suffered when I lost her. I’d
spent the last five years hating my brother for hurting her, and I
was the ass that finally broke her. I didn’t deserve her. Hell, I
was bad for her, but I’d be damned if I let her go without a
fight.

March 2, 2015

 

It had been the longest three
months of my life. She wouldn’t return my calls. My texts were left
unread. I had sent enough flowers for her to open her own flower
shop. Nothing I could have done would have won her back. I had lost
my beautiful Dylan forever. That was why I still couldn’t believe
my luck when I read the text from her.

 

Hey, it’s me

Can you meet me at the Pier
Tonight?

Say around six.

 

Hey, me

I will meet you
anywhere.

I will be there at 5:30

 

Hell, yeah, I would have met her
any damn where she wanted. I would have done anything just to be
able to hold her again.

 

I’d waited for an hour already
when I felt a small hand on my back causing my heart to leap in my
throat. I flipped my head around to see not her, but Sarah. Shit,
she couldn’t face me and sent a ringer in the form of her
overprotective roommate.

 

“Ethan, how are you
doing?”

 

How the hell do you think I am
doing? Shit, look at me. I’m slowly dying inside. “Fine,” I spit
out, wanting actually to spit on her.

 

“Dylan, sent me to ask you to leave
her alone. She has already moved on and found another person to
love.”

 

Part of me died at that moment,
she told me she would always love me and now, she was lying in the
arms of someone else.

 

“She can’t love him.”

 

“I’m sorry; Ethan, but this person
will be the love of her life. She wanted me to give you this and
thank you for everything.”

 

Sarah slid a note across the
table. I picked it up, and could smell a trace of Dylan on it.
Sarah got up and left. I sat there holding the envelope in my hands
unable to open it. I could have lived with her running when life
got too much. Shit, I would have let her beat the hell out of me if
it meant she would had felt better. But I could never ever let her
tell me her final good-byes. She was mine, damn it. I slipped a
hundred under my plate, kissed the letter, and placed it on the
table. The clock on the wall showed it was fourteen minutes passed
seven. I would from that day forward mark that time as my time of
death.

 

Outside the skies had opened up
and the rain poured down washing the tears from my face. I took off
running. I hurt everywhere; the dull ache of my breaking heart ate
away at me. I found myself running to her apartment. I had to see
her.

 

The closer I got, the quicker my
pace became. The rain fell from the heavens washing away all traces
of the angel that God blessed me with and I stupidly lost. The void
was overwhelming. I was desperate to see her. She needed to look at
me to see what she meant to me. I had to tell her one more time
that she was the only thing that mattered in life.

 

I paused outside her apartment.
The building was void of life. Maybe she was asleep. I thought of
how angelic she appeared sleeping. I was suddenly struck with the
most dreadful thought . . . she was not there at all. A nightmare
played in my mind . . . she was with him, the one who might be the
love of her life.

 

Shit, I was nauseous. Jealousy
smacked me in the gut. I hated it. It stirred the part of me that I
had spent the last year trying to hide. Pain shot through me, it
was fucking indescribable. She was gone. The only good in my life
had moved on without me. She wasn’t just running, I had lost her
forever. I would never get to hold her hand, kiss her cheek, or
hear her laughter again.

 

She wanted to get away from me and
I couldn’t blame her. I was only a reminder of her past; a sinking
anchor, but damn, I would always love her. My heart was ripped from
my chest and I was left with nothing but a nagging empty
hole.

 

I took off running. Trying my
damnedest to run away from the pain; to run away from Dylan Summers
forever.

 

NEVER THE END

 

 

 

It is the littlest things that
make for the biggest lies.

 

Pretty Little Lies

coming very soon

 

Ways to Contact the
Author

Email her at
[email protected]
. She will personally answer emails as quickly as
possible.

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at:
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at
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