Inside Out (21 page)

“Did he?” he demanded as he gently took her face in his hands.

Shane couldn’t even think the word, let alone say it, without anger rising to his throat, choking him.

“N-no. I’m okay,” she managed, fighting to sit up, but she flinched and her hand flew to her neck.

“No, you’re not okay, Hunter. I’m going to kill him!” he swore to her, bracing himself against the arm of the sofa, but she reached for him, her eyes so huge he wanted to lose himself in them.

And Shane knew he wasn’t far from it.

“I’m getting you to the hospital,” he muttered as he reached for the blanket at her feet on the sofa.

“Shane,” she managed, her eyes wide in fear as he covered her up to her chin.

He whirled around barely in time to break the weight of the man who’d thrown himself at him. Shane wrestled him to the ground, his anger fuelling his already mighty strength. The bearded man had no chance. Shane knocked him unconscious, tasting blood where the man had scratched his mouth in a vain attempt to hurt him.

Shane stood to his feet, his chest heaving with adrenaline, but there was no one left to fight, no one left to hurt.

“They kidnapped Olivia! They’re all in on it, Shane!” she cried, and Shane sucked in his breath. For a fleeting moment, something had happened in her eyes. She had changed, and he hadn’t seen it before. No more escapades, no more holdups. And most of all, no more Randy. He nodded and reached for his mobile phone.

“Alfie? Yeah, it’s me. Randy and another thug tried to—” His voice faltered and his jaw clenched at the thought. “Just get down to Hunter’s flat now, will you?”

He hung up, taking her into his arms. “It’s okay now, Hunter.”

She nodded and took his hand, which she put to her silky cheek like a trusting child. That look in her eyes killed him. He should have never let her go in the first place.

“I spoke to Detective Sergeant Alfred Campbell,” she whispered, and Shane felt a wave of sympathy for her.

“Would you be willing to tell them everything you know?” he whispered, holding his breath as he took her hand in his and kissed her scraped knuckles.

He gently pushed back a strand of hair from her face.

“I already have, Shane. There’s…something I need to tell you.”

Shane sighed. “I know you called me that night. The night Olivia…died. You wanted to save her life, money or not. I know that now.”

“They were going to kill her,” Olivia sobbed, remembering how Hunter had fought to save her. “I couldn’t let her die. So I called you.”

“And set the rendezvous at the marina,” Shane concluded, the pain in his voice choking him. From the moment the bullet hit Olivia, Shane was a dead man. He’d done his best to retrieve her from the dark waters. God knew he had, but he had proven himself unworthy. Years and years of avoiding bullets, bomb explosions, saving civilians, women, children, the elderly. Years and years of scooping them up into his arms and out of danger. And he couldn’t save the one person he loved more than all. Unforgettable Olivia.

Hunter cried herself to sleep as Shane caressed the back of her head. He wanted to kill these men, anyone who had set a single finger on her.
In due time
, he thought, as she stirred in his arms and he pulled her onto his lap and let her sleep, his mind racing for the shortest route to revenge.

He knew though that those men weren’t the only ones to get hurt. As much as he cared for Hunter, he couldn’t bring himself to overcome this.

Every damn time he looked into her eyes he saw Olivia.

* * *

When she opened her eyes several hours later he still held her, cursing himself for his plans. He’d give her a few days to get over the shock of her attack and then have a heart-to-heart with her. He couldn’t continue taking advantage of her. Nor could he continue pretending everything was okay.

She stretched against him, and the feel of her body on his always difficult to ignore. But this time he had to.

“What time is it?” she whispered as she slid from his thighs to stretch again.
Jesus
.

“Almost ten. How are you feeling?”

Hunter shrugged. “I’m just glad it’s over.”

Shane nodded. “Those guys aren’t going to trouble you anymore.”

Hunter stopped in mid-stretch, then nodded. “Thank you. Another second and I don’t know what I’d have done.”

Shane shrugged carelessly, although still seething inside. He’d have gladly snapped their useless necks. “Petty gangs. Forget about them. Are you hungry?”

Hunter shook her head, then bit her lip. “Please say it’s not over b-between us.”

Shane froze, his eyes swinging to hers. “Hunter…”

“You can’t leave me after all this,” she cried. “I’ve fought so hard to be with you.”

Shit.
Did he think it was going to be easy? He raked a hand through his hair. “Hunter, where else can this go? Look at us. You played a big part in my wife’s kidnapping and still I can’t keep my hands off you. She died because of your gang. I should hate your guts.”

“But you don’t.”

He let out a moan. “I can’t. I’ve tried, of course.”

“Don’t you see, Shane? We were meant to be together. I know it sounds cheesy, but look at all the coincidences.”

Shane eyed her. “I don’t believe in coincidences, Hunter. Not anymore. And besides…”

She took his hand. “Besides? Tell me, Shane. Please.”

Shane groaned. “In my heart, I’m still married to Olivia.”

“But it’s been more than a year, Shane. Don’t you want to move on? Don’t you need to?”

Shane looked at the beautiful woman begging for his love and wanted to kick himself. “I’m sorry, Hunter. As much as I care about you—because I honestly do—”

“I know, I know,” Hunter conceded. “I believe you.”

“But I’m still in love with my wife.” When she stared at him as if he’d slapped her, he took her arms gently.

“Olivia…is gone,” she croaked. “Can’t you accept that?”

At that, he hung his head. “I’d sooner accept my own death.”

“Oh, Shane,” she whimpered and he pulled her close to him for one last kiss. But he tasted Olivia’s lips. This torture drove him insane.

“I’m sorry to have done this to you,” he whispered as his lips sucked her bottom lip, tenderly, unable to stop himself. “I’m sorry to have let things get out of hand with you. But I couldn’t help being with you. You’re like a magnet.”

Hunter wrapped her arms around him, her own lips parting under his, eagerly. He gave into her, drinking from her lips like there was no tomorrow as her tears wet his face. He cupped her chin. Those soulful, familiar eyes. No. He couldn’t keep doing this to her. Nor to himself. She lifted her face to kiss him again and he took her wrists, dragging his mouth away from hers.

“Hunter,” he whispered. “If I were ready to start again with another woman, I swear it would be you. But I’m not. I’m sorry.”

“No, please listen to me,” she cried and his heart crunched up into a tiny ball. “I know you still think Olivia’s death is my fault.”

Shane groaned. “It’s not just that, Hunter. I know it’s crazy, you’re like chalk and cheese, but every time I look at you I see Olivia’s face. And it drives me mad.”

Chapter Twenty-Eight

Back at Skin Deep, Olivia sat as usual behind the counter and pushed Send on her e-mail application to the London Philharmonic Orchestra. Shane had been resolute. He loved his wife too much and her similarities to Olivia spooked him. Ha. How ironic.

But if she was trapped in Hunter’s shitty life and this damn dump without Shane, she might as well make the most of it. At the interview, assuming she got one, she’d have to be on her best behavior, refined and delicate, like she used to be. Only she didn’t know how much was left of that naive woman. She had been stripped of her layers of innocence, hastily dipped into a sordid life of crime and left to fend for herself. The past few weeks had flipped her upside down and now without her husband, her home, and her job she was rootless.

Randy and the gang were all in jail, so she was safe. She would quietly carve a life out for herself again. From scratch. If they didn’t accept her in the London orchestra, she would apply to Edinburgh, Dublin, Belfast—hell, even Mars—anywhere she could make a living by doing the things she knew how to do.

What she could never do was live without Shane. How was she ever going to go on without hearing his deep voice, without his smile, or his hands on her? Sure, maybe he’d forgiven Hunter for her role in the kidnapping, but Olivia knew she’d lost him forever. She could see it in his eyes, the way he’d looked at her. And it certainly wasn’t the way he used to look at her, his wife. They had, in a sense, both betrayed Olivia and it hurt too much to go back now, like having to retrace your steps barefoot over a field strewn with shards of glass.

The now-familiar jangle of the bell above the shop door made her look up. Shane stood before her, carrying her cello case, the one he’d filled with the ransom gold. He’d only come back for the money, she knew. It was over between them, he’d been clear about that. He’d paid it to get her back alive. And now here she was, alive, yes, but through no fault of her own, he had left her. Whichever way she looked at it, it didn’t make any sense.

He cleared his throat, placing the cello case on the counter before her. “You play it beautifully. Olivia would want you to have it.”

Olivia stared at him in confusion, then reached out to unlatch the case and caress the smooth instrument inside. She swallowed and shook her head. This beautiful cello wasn’t hers anymore. “Thank you, but I can’t.”

“I’m leaving London,” he said, his voice barely a whisper.

Olivia whipped to her feet. “Leaving London? Why?”

Shane hesitated and looked away.

“Shane?” she urged softly, coming out from behind the counter to place a hand on his arm. “Please answer me.”

His eyes swung away briefly, then back again to hers, helplessly. “Fuck,” he whispered so softly she barely heard him.

Olivia caressed his forearm, linking her fingers with his. He huffed finally, and his jaw clenched. “I haven’t felt like this about anyone since Olivia. I feel like I’m cheating on her. I’m still too mad, and I…I don’t want to hurt you.”

“But you can’t leave, Shane. Your whole career is here. Look at all you’ve achieved in the last ten years.”

Shane groaned. “None of that matters anymore without—never mind.”

Without your wife
. Only to hear him say that would kill her once and for all. Because she would never be that woman again. She might still have her thoughts, her soul, her past. But she would never
be
Olivia, his beloved wife, ever again. And Shane would never love Hunter like he’d loved her.

“Listen.
I’ll
leave. I was leaving anyway,” she lied.

His eyes narrowed as he chewed on the inside of his mouth. “That’s not necessary.”

“It’s more than necessary, Shane. There’s no way I’m going to let you throw your career down the drain on my account.”

Shane shrugged. “It’s only a job.”

“Only a job? You’ve worked so hard for this. Don’t you remember all you went through to be where you are now?”

Again, he shrugged. “None of this matters anymore. I’m not the same man anymore.”

Olivia took his arms. “Please. Please think this over carefully. This would be the biggest mistake of your life.”

He chewed the inside of his cheeks raw, but said nothing.

Olivia closed her eyes, her hands on his arms tightening as the memories flooded back to her. “Remember the trip you didn’t take to France so you could stay home and take your statistics exam? I took notes for you all weekend.”

His arms stiffened.

“And remember the time we didn’t leave our flat for five whole days so you could dictate your dissertation paper to me? Man, that was a
long
one.”

She opened her eyes to see his were wide in surprise. “And do you remember our very first flat, the one in Lewisham?” she continued, unable to stop herself. If she had to lose him forever, she wouldn’t do it without at least trying. “The one with the rising damp and the smell of rotten onions on the stairwell?”

Shane’s took her hands in his while he caught his breath again and again, going pale. And still, he listened as she spoke.

“And remember when Alfie said that given the chance you’d be the richest bastard in London? Of course he always believed in you, like I did…”

Shane’s eyes clenched shut for a long moment as he swallowed again, then peered into her face like a drill through to her soul.

He reached out and touched her cheek, and she closed her eyes again to savor his gentle fingers on her skin and basked in the warmth of his tenderness, the way it used to be. He drew his breath in sharply, almost a hiss, and she opened her eyes to search his flushed face.

“
Jesus Christ
, Livvy, it really is you in there, isn’t it?”

Olivia’s heart jolted, and she stared at him, dumbfounded. She was afraid to hope. Had he opened his heart to the possibility? Could he finally
see
her beyond Hunter’s facade?

When she nodded, unable to say another word, Shane groaned and roughly folded her against his chest in silence until he could speak again.

“I can’t believe it. I’ve been telling myself that it’s impossible. That Alfie’s crazy. But you really
are
Olivia. I can
see
it now. It’s in your eyes. All this time your eyes were haunting me.”

Olivia nodded quietly, tears streaming down her cheeks.

“It could only be you,” he argued hoarsely, cupping the back of her head in his large hands and kissing her face tenderly. “Only you could love me like that. Above anything—even yourself. You may be Hunter on the outside, but every time I looked into her eyes I was looking into yours. Inside it’s still
you
…”

Olivia continued to nod and cry at the same time, her heart about to explode with joy.

Shane beamed at her. “It’s like I’ve always known somewhere in my heart. There was something about Hunter that rang so familiar. I can’t explain what. How…how did it happen, Livvy?”