Intentional (8 page)

I laugh. “No pressure at all, is there?”

Jeremy leans down and kisses the part of my neck that connects with my shoulder. I shiver. “Mattie, it will be great no matter what. I just want to be with you. That’s all I care about. You aren’t worried, are you?”

My face almost always shows what I’m thinking. I can’t help it. I’m worried that I’m going to let him down and he’ll go running for the hills, or the closest blonde. Either way, the fact remains that I don’t know what I’m doing.

My guess is that Jeremy will be a good teacher, but I don’t want to fail at this. I wonder if I can have retakes, or if I’m really bad,
will he flunk me and send me home? I contemplate all of this as I look over at Jeremy.

He has a full-out grin on his face. “What’s so funny?” I ask.

He lets out the laugh he’s been holding. “Mattie, if you could see your face. I don’t want you to worry about anything. I’ll take care of everything.”

I let out a sigh of relief. “Thanks, Jeremy. I know you will.”

He continues to nuzzle my neck. It’s starting to tickle again. I’m laughing so hard at first that I don’t hear Jeremy’s door open. We both jump up to a sitting position on the floor.

I knew I should have reminded Jeremy that the outside doors weren’t locked. I look up and see a familiar face. “Evan?” I’m shocked.

He responds, “It looks like I caught you at a bad time.”

“Damn right.” Jeremy is glaring at him. He knows who Evan is, and he is not happy to see him. Our bonding moment is broken.

Chapter 9

March

Mattie

I haven’t seen Evan for years. He still looks great. He is as handsome as I remember. His hair remains short, with messy brown waves.

He looks down at me. “Mattie, you look so beautiful.” He shakes his head. It looks like he’s feeling regret. Well, good.

“Why are you here?” I ask.

“I had a layover in Phoenix today. I talked to Sarah a couple weeks ago, and she gave me your address. I would have called, but I assumed you wouldn’t talk to me.”

Jeremy stands up. “You were right. She won’t talk to you. Now leave.” I can feel the anger and possessiveness emanating from him. He knows Evan is the reason it’s taken me so long to commit to a physical relationship. I’ve worked hard to resolve my issues with trust. Now that I finally have, he shows up. This is the worse timing ever.

“How did you know I was here?” He looks back over at me. “I went to your house first. Sarah told me she thought you would be here.”

Why would Sarah do that? I’m frustrated. “Evan, we said everything we needed to say years ago. I don’t understand why you would go out of your way to rehash this.”

He shakes his head. “No. You never would listen to me. You blocked my number. I never got the chance to explain. I want you to know the truth. It’s been driving me crazy. I need to clear this up, once and for all. When I found out I was going to be so close, I knew I needed to take this opportunity to clear the air. Everything you were told didn’t happen. Sarah was either lying or mistaken.”

Jeremy has had enough. He walks over and stands toe to toe with Evan. “So you think you can come here and try to get Mattie back? It’s too late. She’s already taken. She’s mine.”

Okay, here comes the controlling and jealous side of Jeremy. I need to stop this before Jeremy does something he regrets. “Jeremy, I’m going to talk to Evan in the hall for a few minutes.”

He looks at me with panicked eyes. “No.”

I walk over and put my hands on his chest. I stare directly into his eyes. “Jeremy, I am going to talk to Evan in the hall. You need to let me do this.” He continues to shake his head. I take his hand and lead him over to the corner of his office. “You can’t control this,
Jeremy. You can’t control me, whom I talk to. You understand that, right?”

Jeremy grabs me and holds me tight. “What if he convinces you? I can’t lose you, Mattie.”

I tighten my grip on his waist and talk softly. “It’s too late for Evan. Even if he proved he didn’t cheat, which I already know he did, it wouldn’t matter now. You are my future, Jeremy. It doesn’t matter what he tells me. I won’t go back, no matter what. I never felt for him what I do for you.” This seems to calm him somewhat. He releases me and sits behind his desk, glaring at Evan.

I take Evan out into the hall for our talk. He is resolute that I hear him out. I find out a few interesting things. He apparently hasn’t moved on and wants me back. That will never happen. He continues to deny that he cheated. I wish I could believe him. I know that he cheated—Sarah actually witnessed it. I don’t know why he bothered to come all this way just to recycle more lies.

This was a waste of time for both of us. I could understand it if he just wanted to say he’s sorry. I would appreciate it if he did. It appears that he’s not ready for that yet.

The most curious thing he told me was that Sarah contacted him first, a few weeks ago. I just assumed it was the other way around. Is he lying again? I can’t think of a reason on Earth that Sarah would have to contact Evan.

Evan and I talk in the hallway for about half an hour. I think we reach a middle ground with some closure for both of us. We decide that the past is just that—the past. We can’t change it or our feelings. He accepts that I’m now with Jeremy. He looks disappointed as we say our good-byes.

I walk back into Jeremy’s office. He’s pacing back and forth like a caged animal, running his hands through his hair. I ask, “Are you okay?”

He turns and stares at me. “Is he gone? I mean, is he gone for good?” He looks so worried.

I nod. “Yes. He’s headed back home. Without me.” I smile.

Jeremy walks over to me and hugs me gently. We stay like this for at least ten minutes. I start to wonder if he’s going to let me go. I move back and look into his eyes. I’ve never seen his past reflected there before. I do now. I see a fear of abandonment. I see heartbreak. I
see yearning and hope. “Don’t worry, you’re not getting rid of me that easily,” I say.

I hear him whisper, “Thank God.”

Later that night, I asked Sarah about Evan. She admitted to giving him Jeremy’s address, but she adamantly denied that she called him weeks ago. Why would she lie? I guess Evan must have been embarrassed about coming to see me; he must have made it up. He needs to learn to tell the truth. He had so much potential. I hope he learns from this experience.

Chapter 10

June

Jeremy

I hug Mattie closely. “Are you nervous?”

She laughs. “Of course I am! What if they don’t like me? Will you break up with me?”

She’s still smiling, so I know she’s joking. I tell her, “I’m nervous too.”

She looks at me with surprise. “What do you have to be nervous about? They’re your parents!”

“Well, what if you don’t like them? Will you break up with me?”

She looks over at me with love. “Thank you, Jeremy.”

I laugh innocently. “What?”

She shakes her head and stands up. “Okay, let’s get this party started!”

It’s taken a while, but we were all able to work out our schedules so everyone could meet. My parents, Bill and Cindy
Harkins, have been either out of the country or piled up with work. They live a few hours away in Phoenix, where I grew up.

I was only kidding with Mattie—I’m not nervous at all. My parents are the warmest, kindest people I’ve ever met. They are going to love Mattie, and Mattie will love them. I have no doubt.

We decide to meet at my parents’ home. They are going to be flying out of the country tomorrow (again!), so I wanted to make it easier on them. They continue to run their large chain of antique stores, which are scattered across the United States and Europe, even though they are past retirement age. I loved traveling with my family when I was young. I was able to experience different types of people and their cultures around the world. It was a great childhood.

My mom tried for years to conceive but was never successful. Most parents who go through the adoption process want an infant. Not my parents. They went out of their way to find an older child. I was about to be put in a foster-care program when my parents rescued me. They heard about my story from a caseworker and set up a meeting, and the rest is history. I once asked why they picked me: they both told me that they loved me the minute they saw me. I’ve had the best life because of them. I couldn’t love them more.

When we pull up to the gate, I see Mattie’s eyes widen. She says quietly, “This is even bigger than your house.” When we first started dating, I could tell that money, or an abundance thereof, was an issue with her. That makes me smile, because it was usually the opposite problem with the previous women whom I’ve dated—it was all they cared about.

I grab her hand. “I promise they’re not snobs. You will never meet more normal, down-to-earth people in your life.”

She laughs. “Of course I don’t think they’ll be snobs. They raised you! I just don’t want them to think I’m some gold digger after their son’s money. I’m not rich like this, Jeremy.” I can see her point. Once she meets my parents, though, she won’t worry about it anymore.

I take her hand as we approach the front door. She’s so nervous, her palms are sweating. I take the flowers that she’s brought for my mom out of her hands, grab her, and give her a passionate kiss, hoping to distract her.

The door opens, and my parents are both standing there, staring at us, a surprised yet pleased expression on their faces.

Uh-oh. I look at Mattie; her face is flushed. I’m not sure if it’s from the kiss or from the embarrassment of getting caught by my parents.

My mom jumps in first. She rushes over to me and gives me a big hug. “Oh, I’m so happy you’re here. And you’ve brought Mattie!” She leans down to give Mattie a hug. “Mattie, I’m so happy to finally meet you. I’ve been hearing so much about you!”

Mattie still looks a little embarrassed, but she recovers quickly. “I’m so glad to meet you also!”

I finally remember that I’m holding the flowers. I hand them back to Mattie. Mattie takes them back, giving me a little smile. I know that smile. That smile means I’m going to need to grovel a bit for embarrassing her in front of my parents. But I know she won’t stay mad for long—she never does.

She hands my mom the flowers. “Thank you so much for having me over.”

My mom exclaims, “Daisies. My favorite! Thank you. Let’s get you two inside. Kaye, Nick, and the boys are out back by the pool.”

We enter the house, and the smells are out of this world. It looks like Mom has pulled out all the stops and hired a caterer. When we were younger, we always had live-in help. My mom is unashamed that she can’t cook. She’s says she’s great at “reheating,” and that’s where her talent begins and ends. I think she really just wanted to spend the extra time with Kaye and me.

We head back to the cabana and pool area. My nephews, Justin and Jordan, are having a cannonball contest in the deep end of the pool. I steer Mattie away from all the chaos.

Kaye sees Mattie and rushes over to greet her. We’ve gotten together a handful of times since their first meeting at the water park. They’ve become great friends. They hug, and Kaye goes back to try to tame the boys.

My mom comes out holding a big box. I look at her with my eyebrows raised. “What do you have there?”

She laughs. “We couldn’t have Mattie over without showing her your childhood pictures!” I see Mattie straighten up. She leans over to where my mom has placed the box. She claps her hands with glee. I roll my eyes. This is going to be a long day. I decide to join my
dad and the boys in the pool. I don’t think I want to relive my awkward middle-school years right now.

As the afternoon progresses, I watch Mattie and my mom talk and laugh. It looks as if they’ve known each other for years, not hours. As they continue their discussion, I notice my mom hugging Mattie. I continue to watch as she takes Mattie’s face in her hands and talks to her seriously about something. It looks like they are both crying. I’m assuming it’s a good cry, but I make my way there just to be sure.

“Hey, Mom, you making my girlfriend cry?” I ask jokingly. I can already tell that they’ve bonded over pictures.

She responds, “Yes, Jeremy. You have a problem with that?”

Mattie is smiling over at me, enjoying our exchange. I ask her, “Do you need me to rescue you?”

She replies, “Nope. I’m perfect.” I can see that, so I return to the game of Marco Polo I was playing with the boys.

After dinner, we help put away the dishes and head back to Sedona. This has been a great day for both of us.

I loved seeing Mattie interact with my parents. I knew they would love each other; I just didn’t realize that it would be at their first meeting.