Invasion of the Boy Snatchers (10 page)
“I’d rather chase the players than the ball,” Nina purred.
Dylan and Alicia giggled.
“I like doing both. I’m obsessed with David Beckham,” Kristen cooed. “I even set my bike lock combo to his birthday.”
“0-5-0-2?” Nina’s face lit up.
“Yup.” Kristen laughed and high-fived her.
Massie accidentally knocked the stack of sleeping bags onto the floor. “You’re starting to look like him, with that haircut.” She bent down to pick up the bags, purposely avoiding Kristen’s eyes. Massie knew her comment was mean, but Kristen was starting to act a little too BFF-y with Nina, and she deserved a verbal slap.
“You know, Becks’s wife, Victoria, had short hair when he fell in love with her,” Nina said.
“You’re so right.” Kristen took off the rabbit fur hat and tossed it on Massie’s bed. “I forgot all about that.”
Massie laid all of the sleeping bags out in her favorite spoke-’n’-wheel pattern; a perfect circle, with all of their heads facing the center. “Sorry, Nina, I only have five. But I can get you a towel.”
“That’s okay.” Nina dove onto Massie’s bed and started bouncing up and down. “I’ll just sleep here.”
“No, Nina, don’t!” Alicia pleaded. “Share my sleeping bag.”
“That’s okay. The floor is fine for you kids. But I’m thirteen. I
should
have a bed.”
“Then go home, grandma! Because this bed is not an option.” Massie ran over to Nina and grabbed the heels on her gold boots. “Get
off!
” She pulled as hard as she could, dragging Nina facedown across the duvet. The black slip rode up over her hips and revealed a red thong buried in her butt crack.
Massie shrieked. “Uh, Nina, you’ve got a letter in your mailbox.”
The girls busted out laughing.
Nina started kicking her legs but Massie hung on, her arms flailing around like a spastic Muppet’s. She counted to three inside her head and then tugged as hard as she could. “Huu-ahhhh!”
Massie fell back onto the floor with nothing but a pair of tacky gold boots in her hands. “Ew.” She whipped them across the room.
“You okay?” Alicia asked Nina softly.
“
Sí.
” Nina turned to Massie. “If you want to try my boots on, just ask.”
Massie pretended she hadn’t heard that.
“Uh . . . can I try them?” Dylan asked shyly.
“Yeah, me oot?” Kristen jumbled.
Claire managed to keep herself out of the drama by straightening the sleeping bags for the fifth time.
“Of course.” Nina smirked. She was looking at Massie.
Massie kicked the boots over to Kristen and Dylan, who descended upon them like a pair of fashion-starved divas. They each grabbed one and slipped it on.
“I brought two suitcases full of boots from Spain.” Nina piled her tangled wavy hair back into a bun. “You can borrow them whenever you want.”
Kristen and Dylan’s eyes lit up. Then they both lost their balance and smashed into each other.
Kristen rested her arm on Dylan’s shoulder and pulled off the boot. “They’re too big on me,” she whined.
“Me too,” Dylan sniffled. “What size are you?”
“Six,” Nina said.
“Bummer, we’re vifes.”
Dylan rolled her eyes. “Fives,” she explained to Nina.
“Hey, Massie, we should make our own DIY versions of these boots next Friday,” Kristen said.
“On!” Massie nodded.
Kristen’s face lit up. “Really? Great! I love do-it-yourself crafts.”
“Uh, Kris,
on
means
no
in jumble.” Massie smirked.
Kristen looked down and pulled and imaginary hair off her flannel nightgown.
An awkward, heavy silence filled the room. No one knew what to say next—not even Massie. She didn’t know how much longer she could stand Nina. The girl was like a pair of rayon polyester pants—cheap and irritating.
Purumpppppp
A low farting sound offered a welcome distraction.
“’Scuse me.” Dylan waved at the air.
Everyone laughed.
The sound continued and grew louder.
“Sorry. My brother, Todd, plays tuba in the marching band. He’s practicing for Friday’s game. If he does a good job, the conductor said he can march in the front row during the finals.”
Nina covered her ears. “The Lyonses in your country sound more like dying walruses.”
Kristen and Dylan laughed.
“He’s practicing,” Claire insisted. “Give him a break.”
“She was kidding,” Alicia assured her. “Right, Nina?”
Nina shrugged and stepped into her boots.
“She
was
kidding.” Alicia placed a reassuring hand on Claire’s back, until she heard her cell phone ring. “Ehmagod, what if it’s Josh Hotz!””
“Why would it be Josh?” Massie asked, wondering why Derrington never called her on the weekends.
“I told him the Laurens were coming over for dinner tonight,” Alicia said.
“As in Ralph?” Kristen squealed.
“Yeah.” Alicia bit her bottom lip. “Do you think he actually bought it?”
“Answer it!” Dylan prompted
“Hurry,” Kristen shouted.
“I’m trying.” Alicia strolled leisurely across the room but swung her arms quickly.
Massie darted over to Alicia’s navy velvet Ralph hobo bag and pulled out the ringing phone. She tossed it to Alicia, who caught it with one hand, flipped it open with her thumb, and brought it to her ear in one swift motion. She raised her finger in the air, demanding immediate silence.
“Heh-lloooh?” Alicia cooed in a low come-hither voice. Her alert, wide eyes slowly softened . . . and then shut. “Oh,
hola
, Celia.” Alicia sounded tired and bored. “It’s for you,” she mouthed to Nina.
Nina waved her hand. “
Mañana,
” she whispered back.
“Celia, she’ll call you back tomorrow.” Alicia snapped her phone shut. “Why won’t you talk to your sister?” she asked Nina.
“She’s boring.”
“Can we please do something fun?” Massie insisted.
“Like what?” Dylan asked.
“Let’s play Wear or Dare,” Massie suggested.
“Yeah!” everyone shouted.
“Is that some sort of little kiddie game?” Nina asked.
“No, it’s fun,” Claire promised. “If you don’t do the dare you have to wear—”
Nina interrupted. “Who wants a sexy Spanish make-over?”
Kristen and Dylan’s hands shot straight up in the air, but Alicia only lifted her arm halfway.
“You should start with a brush and some makeup remover,” Massie mumbled.
Claire covered her mouth and giggled.
Alicia lowered her arm.
Nina walked over to the sleeping bags and sat down on Massie’s. She dumped a bag full of exotic Spanish cosmetics on the floor and swished them around like a card dealer trying to mix up the deck.
Massie pointed her speakers directly at Nina, then blasted her Destiny’s Child CD. She laughed to herself as she hurried into her bathroom to grab her hair crimper. “Who wants to get crimped?”
“Very funny.” Kristen tugged on her short blond hair.
Nina touched Kristen lightly on the arm and mouthed, “Let it go.”
Dylan tossed her thick curly red hair over her shoulders. “If you crimped my hair, I’d never be able to squeeze myself out the front door.”
“You look absolutely beautiful just the way you are, Deelan.”
Dylan smiled and slid closer to Nina.
“You can do mine,” Claire offered
“And mine,” Alicia agreed.
“Done.”
Massie plugged the crimper into the socket, piled a stack of decorative purple goose-down pillows against her headboard, and leaned back.
“Come, sit.” She patted her duvet.
Alicia and Claire sat in front of her with their legs crossed.
The red light flashed on the side of the crimper. “It’s ready.” Massie reached for a chunk of Claire’s white-blond hair and pressed it between the hot corrugated plates. When she released it, a waft of smoke drifted toward the ceiling, and Claire’s hair was crinkled.
Claire felt the back of her head. “This feels so cool. I want one.”
“It looks ah-mazing.” Massie reached for Alicia’s hair next.
“So, Deelan, who are you going to ask to dance?” Nina was shouting above the music and pressing a glittery fake eyelash on Dylan’s small eyelid. Kristen was beside them, lining her lips with a burgundy pencil.
Massie was eavesdropping on their conversation while she crimped Alicia’s hair. The more Nina said to her friends, the harder Massie gripped the iron.
“Do you smell something burning?” Alicia asked.
Massie quickly released her grip and waved the gray cloud of smoke away from Alicia’s singed hair. “No.”
“I dunno who to ask yet.” Kristen bit her lip.
“Me either,” Dylan murmured as Nina pressed the lash against her eye.
“Just pick the best kisser.” Nina nodded.
“Who’s that?” Kristen asked.
“You don’t know?” Nina dropped the lash on Dylan’s sushi pajama top. “
Dios
, you act like you’ve never made out with anyone before.”
Kristen was silent. Dylan sneezed.
Nina looked up at the bed. “Of course you’ve all kissed boys before, right?” She stood up. “
Right?
”
Massie’s heart started to race. She couldn’t let Nina know the truth. “I don’t kiss and tell.” She silently prayed that Claire and Alicia would back her up. And they did, by keeping their mouths shut.
Nina walked over to the round dimmer switch on Massie’s wall and turned down the lights. Then she sauntered over to Kristen and Dylan while twirling one of the dangling laces from her slip around her finger. “How about we make this interesting?” she said. “I will give three pairs of my boots to the first girl who kisses a boy at the dance.”
“But they’re too big,” Dylan complained.
“EBay,” Kristen whispered.
“Or thick socks. This goes for you too.” Nina turned toward Massie, Alicia, and Claire.
“I wouldn’t even burn those hooker boots for warmth.” Massie pressed down on a chunk of Claire’s hair with the iron.
“Claire?” Nina offered
“Nah. I want my first kiss with Cam to be romantic, not part of a bet.”
Claire had no problem admitting she was a lip virgin, and Massie secretly wished she had the luxury of being that honest. But a statement like that would probably ruin her reputation.
“Cousin?” Nina asked Alicia.
Alicia looked at Massie, then at Nina, then at Massie again. “Uh, that’s okay. I’m good.”
Nina stood over Kristen and Dylan. “I guess it’s just you two.”
“I’m in.” Kristen giggled. “I’ll go for Kemp Hurley. He’s a total perv. I heard he holds his cell phone under girls’ skirts and takes pictures of their underwear. He’ll totally want to make out.”
Massie was shocked. When had Kristen become so slutty?
“I’m in too.” Dylan coughed. “I’ll go for Chris Plovert. The whole leg cast thing will make it easy for me to catch him. I won’t have to run at all.”
“Who are you going to go for?” Alicia asked Nina.
“I’m going to leave it open.”
“That’s social suicide.” Alicia’s eyes were wide. “There won’t be anyone left.”
Nina turned to face Alicia. “
Por fah-vor
, look at me. I can get anyone I want.”
“Puh-lease.” Massie slammed her crimper down on her night table. She marched over to the dimmer switch and turned the lights up to maximum brightness. “Look at your style! You are a walking
don’t
!”
Claire cracked up. Alicia semi-smiled, then bit her lip.
“You girls better be nice to me.” Nina pretended to string three arrows in a bow. “Or I just might go after Derringtons, Cam, and Josh. There’s no rule that says I can’t shoot all three.”
Massie felt a sudden wave of nausea. She didn’t have to be an archery expert to know that Nina had perfect form. And she would hardly be afraid to use it.
“And what makes you think they’ll actually want to go with you?” Massie countered.
“These.” Nina pointed to her gigantic boobs.
Massie’s insides froze. She had finally met her match.
Saturday, January 31st 9:55
A.M.
Massie and the girls woke up to the sound of a wrecking ball smashing into the guesthouse.
“It sounds like your bowling birthday party,” Dylan said to Kristen.
“Only a billion times louder,” Kristen agreed.
They shimmied out of their sleeping bags and threw open Massie’s curtains. In a mater of seconds, the stately stone cottage was reduced to a pathetic heap of rubble and rocks.
“Cooool,” they all whispered before returning to the warmth of their sleeping bags.
The backyard was flooded with the milky gray light of January. Usually the bare shivering trees outside her window made Massie feel cold, lonely, and sad, even if nothing was bothering her. But this morning she felt fine. She wasn’t even dreading the moment when her friends’ parents would pick them up and take them home, because for the first time Massie wouldn’t be left alone. Claire was there.
When the doorbell rang, all the girls jumped up and started gathering their stuff. But Claire sat peacefully on her sleeping bag, painting her toenails metallic blue. Even though her curved spine made her look like a harp and half of her hair was crimped while the other half was super-straight, Massie was overcome with appreciation for her roommate.
There was a light knock on the door before it opened. “Girls, Alicia’s driver is here.” Kendra was dressed in a tight black unitard and had tied an emerald green Hermès scarf around her tiny waist. White stretch socks swallowed her tiny calves and vanished into a pair of metallic red Nikes. A red-and-white-striped visor that said MEOW in red rhinestones kept her freshly highlighted hair away from her face.
“Mom, you look like the Cat in the Hat.” Massie wished her friends didn’t have to witness such a brutal outfit.
Claire looked up. Her eyes were red and puffy and the tip of her nose looked purple.
“What’s wrong with my Versace exercise suit?” Kendra turned around as if she were chasing her own tail.
“I think its super-cool,” Nina promised.
