Invasion of the Boy Snatchers (8 page)
This has been Alicia Rivera for OCD news saying, I heart you.
(Roaring applause)
“Did you hear
that
?” Massie’s amber eyes were wide with excitement.
“Yeah, we have to run!” Dylan whined. “This sucks.”
“No, the Cupid Award! If I can get Derrington into a pair of long pants, I bet we actually have a chance of winning.”
“Seventh graders never win the Cupid.” Kristen shook her head in awe.
“Until now.” Massie threw her arms in the air like someone who’d jumped out of a birthday cake to
ta-da
music.
Claire smiled with admiration. She loved Massie’s tireless ambition.
“At least
we
don’t have to worry about all of that humiliating chasing.” Massie turned toward Claire. “It’s a total given that Derrington and Cam will stand still for us.”
“What makes you so sure?” Nina purred.
“They like us. You know, more than friends,” Claire explained. She popped a cinnamon heart into her mouth.
“So?” Nina said. “What if someone else catches them first?”
Claire bit down on the heart. She gasped and covered her mouth with her hand. “Stop being so superstitious,” Layne said. “A stupid candy heart can’t predict your future.”
Claire couldn’t believe how well Layne knew her. It was borderline creepy.
“How cute,” Dylan huffed. “Not only do you live together but you date together too.”
“It’s simply ha-darbole.” Kristen rolled her eyes.
The girls walked up to the Virgins counter and ordered a round of Low-Fat Lovers. Claire attempted to pay, but Sage simply waved her hand. Claire shrugged, then stuffed her crumpled five-dollar bill back in her pocket. Friendship with Massie Block certainly had its benefits.
“Thanks for the freebies, Sage,” Massie said loud enough for the girls on line to hear. She took a long sip of the frothy fruit shake. “Ahhhh. Dee-lish! You know, I would actually consider paying for these. Not that you’d ever want me to, right?”
“Uh, of course not.” Sage was always so ah-nnoyingly calm, no matter how hard Massie tried to rile her up.
“Here’s to the Love Struck dance and my Cupid Award, of course.” Massie raised her juice in the air.
“Cheers,” the girls said as they clinked cups. Massie worked her vacant runway-model stare as she led her friends through the crowded Café, flaunting her free drink like a complimentary purse that had just been hand-delivered by Karl Lagerfeld.
Layne leaned over and whispered in Claire’s ear, “Hey, how romantic would it be if you had your first kiss with Cam at the Love Struck dance?”
Claire was overcome by the spicy smell of jalapeño but loved the idea so much, she didn’t even flinch. “Brilliant!” she whispered back. “And you can kiss your boyfriend, Eli, the same night.”
Layne made an “ew” face. Claire wondered if she had caught a whiff of her own breath.
“I’m done with him. He wears more makeup than I do, and I’m a little over the morbid skull-and-crossbones jewelry he wears. I think I need to be with someone a little more positive, especially as we get closer to spring.”
Nina interrupted. “You know, I am quite an archery expert. I’d be happy to give you lessons. My father taught me how to shoot a bow and arrow when I was a kid. It’s the sport of royalty, you know. And Daddy always told me I was going to marry a king.”
“Yeah, King Kong,” Massie said.
Claire and Layne were the only ones who laughed.
“That would be
meowsea
!”
“I’m sorry, I do not understand this word,
meowsea
.” Nina looked confused.
“Awesome!” Kristen explained. “It would be awesome. The second the guys see my short hair, they’re going to run as fast as they can to get away. I need some serious target practice.”
“And when they see my fat butt coming, they’ll—”
“
You’re not fat!
” everyone shouted together.
Dylan pinched an inch of skin on her belly and pointed to it with her free hand. “Tell that to
her
.”
“We need all the help we can get,” Kristen confessed.
“Great, then how about Friday after school?” Nina’s back was to Massie, Claire, and Layne.
“Uh . . .” Kristen and Dylan hesitated. They must have been thinking about what Massie had done to Alicia when she’d tried to make plans during one of Massie’s Friday night sleepovers.
“Uh, is there any other night we could do it?” Dylan asked.
“Yeah,” Massie chimed in. “Friday nights I host a very exclusive VIP sleepover party, so that won’t work for them.”
Claire popped a cinnamon heart in her mouth and tried her hardest not to bite it. But the increasing tension was making it very difficult.
“What’s wrong?” Nina flipped her ponytail and leaned closer to Kristen and Dylan. “Can’t you make your own decisions?”
Claire bit into the candy and felt the spicy rush of cinnamon burn her tongue.
Massie stuck her hand in Claire’s bag of candy and pulled out a handful of hearts. She stuffed them in her mouth and crunched down on all of them at once.
“Since when do you eat candy?” Dylan screeched. “Since Claire dared me to break into the vending machine at the ski lodge.” Massie giggled. Claire started laughing at the memory of on-all-fours Massie jimmying the machine with the pin on her brooch.
“Really?” Dylan looked slightly hurt. “I’ve been trying to get you to eat sugar for years.” She dug her hand into Claire’s plastic bag and started gathering a fistful of hearts.
Massie slapped her arm. “Ouch!” Dylan shouted.
“Get your hand out of there,” Massie snapped. “You’re sick.” Then she turned to Nina. “Sorry, Señorita, but you’ll have to hang out with people your own age Friday night. My friends have plans.”
“Are you sure you don’t need lessons?” Nina offered. “It would be pathetic if you didn’t shoot anyone and you had to go to the dance alone.”
“What about Thursday night?” Dylan sneezed.
“Or tonight?” Kristen asked hopefully.
“Puh-lease.” Massie sounded annoyed. “You sound desperate. Any guy at Briarwood would stand still for us.” Her cell phone started vibrating. Massie reached into her Granny-Smith-apple-green tote and flipped it open.
“See?” She held the screen in front of Nina’s face. “It’s a text message from Derrington.” She pushed a few buttons and read aloud.
DERRINGTON:
Did U hear about the dance?
Massie smirked at Nina and quickly typed her response.
MASSIE:
Yup.
Derrington wrote back immediately and Massie read his response to the girls.
DERRINGTON:
HOW LAME!
Massie looked confused and continued reading in silence.
Everyone leaned in toward her screen, but Claire was the only one she didn’t push away.
DERRINGTON:
No way I’m wearing a Velcro suit. 2 stupid! Even Cam thinks it’s queer.
Claire felt light-headed and dizzy. This couldn’t be happening. What about her first kiss?
“Whatever you do, don’t act desperate.” Nina sounded smug. “Play hard to get. Make them beg
you
.”
“How do you know so much about boys?” Kristen asked.
“Experience.” Nina winked.
“Ew,” Layne said.
Dylan and Kristen gazed into Nina’s dark brown eyes like they were falling in love.
Massie sighed and leaned against the corner of an empty lunch table. She began typing. Everyone stopped walking to wait for her.
“What?” Claire begged. “What are you writing?”
Massie didn’t look up from her phone. But she tilted the screen so Claire could see. She seemed to be taking Nina’s advice.
MASSIE:
No prob. We’ll go with other guys. G2G.
Massie hit Send. Claire started chewing on her thumbnail.
“What if that doesn’t work?” Claire said under her breath.
“It will,” Nina assured her. “My advice always works.”
Massie folded her arms across her chest and rolled her eyes. “I wasn’t following your advice. I always play H2G.”
“Hard to get,” Dylan explained to Nina.
Bhuzzzzz, buzzzz.
“It’s vibrating!” Claire shouted. “What did he say?”
DERRINGTON:
Serious?
MASSIE:
100%. Why?
DERRINGTON:
How bout a deal? U & C come watch the playoffs and we’ll go 2 the dance w/u.
Claire threw her arms around Massie and started jumping up and down.
“You are so getting your first kiss at a Valentine’s Day dance,” Layne gushed.
“Be cool,” Massie snapped.
Layne covered her mouth.
“He can’t hear us.” Claire giggled.
MASSIE:
Hmmmmm.
“What are you doing?” Claire squealed.
DERRINGTON:
Pls. You never come to my games. I need u 4 luck. I want 2 win the MVP ribbon. Deal?
MASSIE:
What about Cam?
DERRINGTON:
Same.
“Yes!” Claire shouted. “Tell him it’s a deal. Tell him!”
“
Wait!
” Nina insisted. “Not so fast or you’ll look pathetic.”
“OMG, you are sooo good at this.” Kristen grinned.
“Yeah, you should do an audio book on how to get guys or something,” Dylan gushed.
“Puh-lease. I was totally going to
wait
.” Massie reached for another handful of Claire’s hearts and checked her watch. “There, I think nine seconds is appropriate.”
Nina shook her head and looked away.
MASSIE:
Done.
“Looks like we’re going to the playoffs,” Massie sighed. “Whatever
those
are.”
“Meowsea! Now I finally have someone to watch the games with.”
“Count me in.” Nina smirked. “The only thing I love more than football is the cute players.”
Massie leaned in and whispered to Claire and Layne, “If she really loved it, she’d know it was called
soccer
, not football.”
They giggled.
“What?” Kristen asked. “Why are you laughing?”
“Is it because I’m fat?” Dylan said.
“
You’re not fat!
” Everyone shouted.
“It had nothing to do with you.” Massie smirked at Nina.
“Yeah, right.” Dylan coughed. She turned her back to Massie.
“I love the way you Europeans call soccer ‘football.’ It’s so ah-dorable.”
“I know.” Nina slowly turned her head and smirked at Massie. “It is, isn’t it?”
“Yeah, if you like sounding clueless,” Massie said.
Dylan and Kristen shot Massie a That-wasn’t-a-very-nice-thing-to-say look. And Massie responded with a very direct Watch-it-girls-or-I’ll-crush-you.
Claire could sense that alliances were starting to shift. She had a feeling that her friendship with Massie would put her on the winning side, but these days, it was getting harder and harder to know for sure.
Friday, January 30th 6:40
P.M.
“Quiet, Bean!” Massie snapped, even though she secretly loved that her puppy was barking at the enormous sweaty man from the Barbarian Moving Co. He deserved it for dropping heavy boxes where ever he felt like it and turning her perfect bedroom into a storage closet.
“This is only temporary,” she sighed.
“Huh?” Claire was kneeling on the floor below Massie’s bay window, digging though one of the boxes, looking for her pajamas.
“Nothing.”
Claire looked up and bit her bottom lip. “Don’t hate me because I’m a pack rat.”
“As long as you don’t hate me because I’m beautiful.” Massie tried to mask her frustration, but it wasn’t easy. There were six boxes and two scuffed-up army-style duffel bags in the middle of her bedroom. If they had been YSL trunks, maybe Massie could have looked at them without feeling like her eyes were going to bleed. But the only initials Massie saw were
CSL
, for “Claire Stacey Lyons,” and they were written in black magic marker.
“Well, that’s the last of ’em,” said the stocky moving man as he loosened his weight belt and arched his back. He made a loud yawning sound on his way up. “Where are you going to put all of this stuff? This is a big room, but still . . .”
Massie lifted her palm. “My problem.” She showed him to the door, slamming it shut when he left.
Claire dropped to her belly and rested her head on a heap of clothes. “He’s right. Where are we going to put all of this?”
“Clue: It’s green, plastic, and gets picked up every Wednesday morning by a loud truck,” Massie said.
“I am so not throwing this stuff in the trash! I’ve had it since I was little.”
Massie clenched her fists so hard, her fingernails dug into her palms She didn’t know how much longer she’d be able to keep up the patient friend routine. She took a deep breath and shook out her hands. “I think it’s time for an unpacking montage.”
Claire crinkled her blond eyebrows. “A what?”
“You know in the movies? When the characters have to clean up after a raging house party before the parents come home?”
“Oh, I love those scenes.” Claire clapped her hands together.
