Invisibility Cloak (11 page)

His gut tightened. She was so damn pretty and it amazed him she didn’t realize it. Not many women had both the looks and the brain and still maintained that trace of innocence.

Her eyes blinked open. That blazing emerald gaze looked directly at him and he felt her see inside his soul.
Oh hell, what kind of dribble am I thinking now?

She smiled slightly, her lids still droopy. “I just thought I’d close my eyes for a few moments,” she whispered as she rearranged her hands under the sofa pillow.

Ryder had to catch his breath. Something soft and rich flowed through his head and snaked into his gut. Sabotaged by emotions he was feeling at the moment, he wondered: was this what happiness felt like?

Along with a heap of feelings.
Want. Need. Lust. Lo
―

He groaned inwardly.
I’m getting as sappy as those damn movies she watches.

“What time is it anyway?” Amanda jerked him out of his unbelievably corny thoughts.

He raised his eyes in silent thanks to that omnipotent being above that she asked him what time it was. That simple task took him out of his thought process of being a sentimental ass-wipe.

No
,
make that a major lame-o-ass-wipe
. Ryder used to heckle the shit out of his buddies who did shit like this
. Mooning over a damn woman.
He looked around for a clock and not finding one on the walls anywhere, his eyes darted to the windows in the family room.

“Not sure, but it’s still dark out.”

“Ryder?” she said softly. “Will you come over by me?” She angled her legs over the side of the couch then patted the cushion on her right sitting up more to give him some room to come sit by her.

Nodding, he stood up. Thrusting his hands into his front pants pockets, he realized he was still in his nice slacks from earlier because of Sophia’s dinner party. He expected the feel of his jeans against his hands, since it was his daily uniform and the silky feel against his hands threw him, but just briefly. He never got the chance to go home and change. He knew he didn’t need to think about Amanda’s question. That was a no brainer for him.

So he sat down next to her, close enough that her leg pressed up against his thigh through his slacks. Bracing his hands on his lap, he turned his head to look over at her.

“Why don’t you go upstairs to get some sleep?”

“I really don’t think I could, even if I wanted too.”

He lifted his left arm and said, “Come here.” Waiting until she scooted over to him, he lowered his arm to settle on her shoulder. “You doing okay?”

“I’m just so confused,” she nestled closer to him. “I’m sorry, but I really need some contact with another adult right now.” She tilted her head up at him. “I’m normally not so forward. I hope this doesn’t make you feel awkward.”

“Oh yeah.” He grinned. “I feel so used.”

She softly thumped her fist into his stomach and he instantly contracted his core.

“Wow, not much give there. I’m impressed,” Amanda said as her fingers pressed against his hard stomach.

“Habit, I guess.” He felt like he should explain. “After you’ve been in the military as long as I have, fitness is ingrained in you.” He chuckled softly. “Actually physical awareness is drilled into you day after day. And being in the Rangers unit, it had to become a way of life.”

She nodded. “I’ve been going to a physical therapist almost every other day since my accident.” Amanda chewed on her lip before going on. “I know what I am doing is nothing compared to what you do, or did in the Army, but I am more aware now of how one little muscle or nerve being off balance or weak can totally throw you off. A year ago I wouldn’t have known. I had no clue how not having a normal, regular muscle working the right way could impair my walking so much.” Lowering her head she confessed, “I used to take so much for granted. I was so immersed in my job. Certainly never thought I would have this damaged ankle and leg.” She gestured to her left leg. ”I barely ever got sick. I’ve never broken a bone.”

Her beautiful green gaze glistened with unshed tears and it twisted his heart.

“Sure I jogged and speed-walked, but I could never
not walk
. And now . . .” She looked away from him and into her dark house. “And now, everything is upside down and all mixed up. I have some men after me and my children. And why? Because Wayne was involved with the wrong people?”

“Amanda don’t worry we’ll figure it out.” Ryder tugged her closer, dropping his chin on her head. “I promise I’ll get to the bottom of this.”

She turned her body more toward him. “This has to be about some project he was working on, I mean, what else could it be?”

Ryder nodded acknowledging her thoughts but his concern for her lack of sleep came through. “You need to close your eyes Amanda, you’ve barely gotten any sleep.”

“Keep on talking to me, will you?” She snuggled even closer. “Your voice is so soothing.”

“What do you want me to tell you?” he murmured as he dropped his hand from her shoulder so it skimmed to her waist and brought her nearer.

“About you. Something about your life.” She paused, then said, “Tell me about your life in the Rangers unit, it sounds so exciting.”

“Sometimes it was. We were trained to evacuate and move out at a moment’s notice. I’ve been on some pretty intense missions, but it was all part of the job.”

“Such as? Or are they all secret missions that you can’t divulge any information about?” Amanda let out a small laugh. “Let me guess, after all your missions were explained to you and your team did the tape with all the important details burst into flames? Everything dissolved, I suppose?” Her head snuggled deeper into his neck and her hand snaked across his midsection catching him off-guard.

“Uh huh,” Ryder said as he inhaled, feeling her hand slide over his stomach. She needed to wind down after all the excitement tonight, he definitely got that, but her unwinding was making him tighten up a little too much. And telling her about his past missions would not do that. Help her unwind that was. If anything, telling Amanda all he had been through as an Army Ranger would stir her up even more than she was right now.

If he told her about dropping down from a Chinook in the middle of a starless night, infiltrating enemy territory in Afghanistan to take out enemy forces by any means possible, well, no; not a good way for her to relax. Really nothing he could recollect from any of his missions would ease her enough to lull her to sleep, so he searched for something else to talk about.

He found it. “Sergeant Major Fu―”
Oops
Ryder stopped just in time and grinned.

“What?” Amanda jabbed him with her elbow. “You’re smiling like you have a secret.”

“Yeah.” He let a short laugh then he explained. “Well no I don’t have a secret, but I just pictured the Top in my former unit. I had a real hard ass in the Rangers unit.” he laughed out loud as he pictured Arthur Adleman. The old codger did everything by the book, but he was expected to, he supposed. “Wasn’t only me. My whole unit. We nicknamed him Sergeant Major Asswipe.” Running his hand over his head, he added, “His real name was Sergeant Major Arthur Adleman. Was an ancient married dick with two kids. But me and my guys swore he had no heart. Pushed us through hell and back. He was all for the operation.” Pinching the bridge of his nose he tried to remember his mission at the present.

Oh yeah, helping Amanda sleep.

“So, what was he like?” she whispered.

Good
. The sleepiness in her voice made it sound like she was almost down for the count. He silently praised the heavens above and ventured a glance downward. Yep, her lids were lowering. There we go; they finally fluttered closed.

“A total jerk. But a competent one, there was this one time near Kabul . . .” This was going nowhere. There was no way that his reminiscing about his brutal missions would help her fall asleep, and if she did close her eyes, she would more than likely have nightmares.

He knew he did. His thoughts drifted to his buddies that didn’t make it out alive. And the ones that did come back to the States after one brutal mission after another, well some of them had
PTSD.
Another handful came back to resume their lives with a missing limb or damaged organs.

How did he get so
fricken
’ lucky? He still had two legs and two arms intact, unlike some of his buddies. Jeremy Coolman told him the other day when they were sipping on a few cold ones on his back patio that a local laboratory had developed an invisibility cloak just like in some fictional books and movies.
Shit!
Technology was amazing. Coolman said the government wanted to test it with their troops. His thoughts diverted to the pure implications this would have in operations of special assignments―to get the forces in and out without any detection and no lives lost or injured? A fricken’ dream come true. He had to remember to pluck Jeremy’s brain on the status of that when he talked to him next time. An invisibility cloak? Who would have thought that would become a reality?

Sure he was caught in plenty of crossfire, but he always survived without any side effects, right? He came through his battles without losing any limbs, but he felt like he’d forfeited his soul a few times. He’d lost count at the number of concussions he endured while in the field. But that was a moot point because when you’re out on the mission, there isn’t a damn thing to be done, so you just plod on through muddied situations to finish the assignment or just get back home.

Post-traumatic stress disorder was the one thing that Uncle Sam swept under the rug. Just like his commanding officer pushed him to shove down the grief he experienced killing over in the Middle East. How do you justify gunning down an Afghan youngster approaching you with a suicide vest on? Either it was the little kid with the wide brown eyes running to you in confusion, not fully realizing what he was wearing or why he was running full out to the men in his unit. The kid’s thoughts blared at him as he ran; his small arms wide. It tore at him.

Why the ones he trusted so much smacked him on the ass like he was a mule to run?

But he ran, without question, to the American soldiers who were there to support the continuity of a government that would help their people enable themselves to prosper and become a democratic nation. Holy shit was he actually starting to think this bureaucratic dribble would work?
Yadda, Yadda, Yadda
. Ryder was done with thinking and talking.

“Amanda?” he said softly, and dipped his mouth to her head to press a soft kiss to the top of her hair. As he remembered all the bullshit that he went through on his missions, he wondered if he made a difference. Did anything make any difference? Hell if he knew. All he knew at that moment was she smelled damn good and breathed her in. He hoped Amanda was soothed because he needed soothing, right now. His hard on pressed against the zipper of his pants. If he was in his usual outfit―his jeans―there wouldn’t be a problem. But these dress slacks . . . now that was a different story. He didn’t dare glance down, afraid to see what it looked like, but his eyes darted to his crotch anyway. Yep, pretty pathetic looking, a boner with nowhere to turn; nowhere to go. Frowning, he willed it to stay down.

He respected Amanda Harris too much to take advantage of her when she was so vulnerable. He silently swore. Suddenly her head popped up from his shoulder and she turned to look him in the eyes. It was scary how tuned in to him she was.

“Oh my God! I’m so sorry.” Sitting up straighter, she scooted away from him. “You probably want to go home. Get some sleep, and I’m keeping you here.”

Ryder didn’t like the feeling of her leaving.

“Nah, I’m not leaving Amanda. What would happen if he comes back? If someone was having your place watched? Nope. I am not budging, honey.” He lifted his arm up once again and gestured to her. “Now come on back over here. You need to just close your eyes.”

“You sure?”

“Absolutely.” Ryder beckoned her with his fingers again. ”Get over here.”

Amanda pressed her lips together and nodded once before slowly scooting back over to him. “Should I see if anything is on T.V.?”

“Sure.”

“I always watch the movie channel.” She smiled shyly. “You game? I mean to watch a good movie?”

Ryder groaned inside. She liked the
romantic
crap. He supposed he could suffer through one corny movie if that would help her sleep. “Sure.”

Grinning, she grabbed the remote control to her television and started working her thumb. Man, she was an expert at this.

“How about
‘A Second Chance at Love
?
’
” Amanda slanted him a look.

“Sure.” Ryder groaned inside, but he’d suffer through a sappy movie to calm her down. Shit was that the one about someone’s wife dying from cancer and she was trying to find her soon-to-be-widowed husband a wife before she passed on? He remembered someone talking about it. The groaning got much worse inside his brain, but vigilance prevailed.

He’d do this for Amanda. After all, he’d been on mean-ass missions overseas numerous times. Compared to this it should be a piece of cake, right? Slept on the fly, sometimes he’d caught a few winks standing up. Been cornered in enemy territory with no back up and he’d still survived. Hell, being shot at with nowhere to go couldn’t be worse than a girlie movie, could it?

“Thanks, Ryder.” She leaned over to give him a quick peck on the cheek.

Ryder’s reflexes kicked into gear. He grabbed her by the waist and brought her closer. Her eyes went wide as he pulled her closer to him.

“Amanda,” he groaned softly. He wanted more, but instead nuzzled the top of her head with his chin.

“Oh, Ryder,” she sighed tilting her head up so her eyes could roam over his expression. “You sure you don’t want to go home to get a decent night’s sleep?”

“Nope,” he shook his head then met her eyes. “I’m not going anywhere. So you’d better get used to me.”

Amanda smiled slightly. ”Oh, I think I could definitely get used to you, Ryder.”

That was good to hear because he wasn’t leaving unless she threw him out the door.

The sound of a violin strumming hauntingly caught his attention as the movie began and he looked at the television screen. A perky blond and a pretty boy with a toothpaste-white smile flashed on the screen.

When was the last time he watched a movie? It seemed the only time he had his T.V. on anymore was to catch the local news and that was bad enough. Just seeing Roger Barro deliver that “all important” news bulletin earlier gave him the shivers, the man looked like he should be doing the kind of movies like the one Amanda had on now. Everyone on the tube looked like made-up idiots trying to get attention. His eyes veered back to the screen and narrowed as he took in the “it” couple in the cable movies anyways. Cable . . . And that was all he needed to lower his eyelids as his arms crushed Amanda closer.