Irreversible Damage (Irreparable) (28 page)

A thoughtless grin lifts his mouth as he shakes his head. “I thought I could be.”

I give him a little shove in the arm. “You can.” I smile.

He doesn’t.

“No, Tori. I definitely can’t. I can still feel your skin on my hands.” His hand slides along my jaw as he brushes his thumb over my bottom lip. “I wake up every day and taste your lips on mine.”

“Don’t do this, Tug.” I back away, unable to look at the hurt in his eyes. I don’t want to hear him say these things. I don’t want him to feel this way about me. “I miss my friend.”

He huffs and glares at me with contempt. As I inhale a long, fortifying breath, my stomach clenches, revolting against the smell of coffee. My gaze lands on a Starbucks cup on the counter. I cover my mouth and sprint down the hall to the bathroom. I empty my stomach and return to the kitchen, prepared to force Tug to accept our friendship, even if it means I have to beg him.

When my eyes meet his, he glances between me and the paper cup. I know immediately something’s off. He knows. His posture relaxes. His eyes soften. He walks right up to me. His hands find the counter behind me. He cages me in. His eyes dart back and forth over mine. I stop breathing. What is he doing? I swallow hard as anxiety courses through my veins.

“Are you pregnant?”

I push against his chest and duck under his arm. I scoff and say, “No.” It’s weak. I feel his eyes following me, but I don’t turn around. His loafers thump across the tile before his fingers curl around my arm. He whirls me around to face him. I slam into his chest. Hair catches in my lip. I blow it away and narrow my eyes at Tug. I’m upset that he’s manhandling me, but I can’t find my voice to tell him to let go.

He keeps a firm grip on my arm, holding me close. “You say you want to be friends, and then you fucking lie to me.” My lips purse as I turn my head. His free hand squeezes both sides of my face. He forces me to look at him again. “Is it mine?” His question comes in a snarl. My heart thumps against my ribs. For the first time in my entire life, I’m afraid of him.

I tear myself free from his grip. His hand strokes his unshaven chin as his eyes stay on me. I have to tell him about the test and hope he won’t say anything until I get the results. “I don’t know.”

“So there’s a chance?”

I’m annoyed he’s clarifying things. He knows there’s a chance.

“Yes,” I snap.

Panic flashes in his eyes. “Does Brady know?”

“You’re still alive,” I huff. “What do you think?”

“If you’re done acting like such a bitch, we need to talk about this like grown-ups.”

I’m so angry with him. I don’t know him anymore. He’s not the guy I grew up with. Maybe it’s because his mother was so fucked up, or maybe it’s because I can’t love him like he wants, but I hate the person he’s becoming. My Tug would never call me a bitch.

As I stare into his cold eyes, my simmering rage boils over. My skin burns furiously. I step close to him, standing tall. My eyes lock on his. “Coming from captain fucking immature himself. Really, Tug, that’s rich.”

His jaw twitches as the vein in his forehead bulges. I’ve never seen Tug so insanely pissed. He dips his head so we’re eye to eye. My heart sputters. “You wanted me to fuck you. Remember?”

I’m no longer able to control my emotions. That hurt. Angry tears fall from my eyes. “Yes, I do, and it was the biggest fucking mistake of my life.”

He flinches. My words hurt him just as badly. He runs his hands through his hair, cursing under his breath. “Well, that ‘mistake’ might very well have a name soon, so I need to tell Brady.”

“No!” I shout as panic shoots through me.

He shakes his head. “If that baby’s mine, I’ll be a father, Tori. I won’t pretend to be an uncle. Not even for you.”

I instantly feel terrible. I have no intention of asking Tug to do that. “I would never keep you from your child…but we don’t know anything yet.”

In a softer tone he says, “Then we need to find out.”

“I told Brady I was with someone.” His eyes widen as he leans against the counter. “I didn’t say it was you, but we had a test last week. The results will be here any day.” I go and stand next to him. With my hand over his on the counter, I look up at him pleadingly. “So please, don’t say anything until we know for sure.”

“I can’t keep hiding this from him.” His gaze drops to the floor. “It’s eating away at me.”

“I know. I will tell him everything as soon as I get the results.” I duck under him and look up, so he has to make eye contact with me. “Please, if you care about me at all, you can’t tell him. Hearing it from you will crush him more than what we did. I promise, I’ll tell him everything.”

“I don’t know if I can do it.” His head falls back with a heavy sigh. “He has a right to know that I might be that baby’s father.”

“You’re right, I do.” Brady comes into the kitchen. He glares at me with something close to hatred. He must have heard everything. “What the fuck is he talking about?”

I run to him. I need him to hold me to stop the tears from falling. “Brady.”

“No! Don’t touch me.” His cold stare turns to Tug. Before I can stop him, Brady charges after Tug. He pins Tug to the wall. Tug doesn’t fight him. He stands confidently, with Brady’s forearm pressing into his throat. “You fucked her?”

“No,” Tug huffs with an air of indignation. His skin turns red as blood and anger rush to the surface. “I loved her when you didn’t.”

“I’ve always loved her.” Brady releases Tug with a growl. I’ve never seen Brady this angry. Tug sags against the wall gasping for air. “I was giving her time, which is more than I can say for you. How long did the two of you wait?” He turns to me. His stare ice cold. “How many times, Tori?”

“Once,” I cry. “I told you. It only happened once.”

With another growl, he rakes his fingers through his hair. “You fucking lied to me.”

“I didn’t,” I insist. “I told you what I did. I just couldn’t tell you who it was. I was scared.” 

“Were you ever going to tell me?” I hear the doubt in question.

“Yes.” I go to him. He won’t look at me. “I was waiting for the test results.”

“I’ve told you before that withholding something is the same as lying. You know what I’ve been through. You know that is the worst thing you could do to me.”

I don’t want to be angry with him. I did this, but he’s a hypocrite. “Like it was for me when you didn’t tell me about Davey’s past?”

“Jesus, Tori. Really? You want to compare?”

“No, I don’t.” I reach for him. He shoves my hands away and turns his back to me. “We had finally worked everything out, and I didn’t want to lose you.” I grab his arm. He doesn’t push it away, but he doesn’t look at me, either.  “Brady, please.”

I’m pleading with a wall. This is so fucked up.

He turns around finally. His expression is softer, but his eyes are still hard. “Do you love him?”

I can’t breathe. If I say no, I’d be lying. “It’s different.”

“You didn’t answer me.” He steps closer. I feel the hurt and anger rolling off him. “Do you love him?” His eyes drill into me, searching for the truth.

“Yes.” My voice cracks as my legs wobble. I want to force him to understand that it’s not the same kind of love. I know if I try to convince him, I’ll only push him further away. I stand there, staring into his beautiful green eyes and hoping he’ll see everything I can’t bring myself to say.

“Who do you think the baby belongs to?” The cracking of his voice brings tears to my eyes. He already knows the answer. “Who?” The rage in his voice makes me flinch.

“Don’t yell at her like that!” Tug shouts from across the room.

Brady’s head whips around toward Tug. He points a finger at him. “Stay the fuck out of this, Tug. You’ve done enough.” His eyes meet mine again. “Who?”

I look at my tangled hands, knowing my answer is going to destroy him. I can’t say it while looking him in the eyes. “Tug,” I mutter, feeling more regret than I did the night Tug and I spent together.

Both hands are fisted in his hair, his jaw firm and teeth locked hard. Minutes pass, and he hasn’t uttered a word, only stared at the door. He finally moves across the room. He stops in front of Tug, leaving a couple of feet between them. Tug doesn’t back down. He meets Brady’s stare with confidence. 

“How the fuck could you take advantage of her like that?”  Brady demands.

“Stop!” I shout at Brady’s back. “It wasn’t like that. We just ran into each other.”

He keeps his eyes on Tug as he speaks to me. “I know you don’t want to see it, but he’s always wanted you, Tori. He knew what he was doing when he went to Minnesota.”

“No. He was there for work.” I cross the room and split the two of them, looking at Brady. “He didn’t intend to run into me.”

“Really?”  Brady shoots Tug an odd, knowing smile over my shoulder.

“Yes, I swear.”

“That’s funny.” He glowers at Tug now, his face burning with anger. His eyes come back to mine. “Since we don’t have an office in Minnesota.”

“What?” I spin to face Tug. “Is that true?”

“Yes.” Tug doesn’t attempt to lie. He knows he’s caught.

“You went there to see me?”

He nods.

“Why didn’t you just call and ask to see me?”

“I didn’t think you’d say yes,” he admits with a hit of modesty.

I’m shocked. My brain struggles to put it all together. “So what, did you follow me to the lake?” 

His silence is his answer.

“Oh, my God.” I shake my head. “And that guy you were with?”

“A friend of mine who goes to school there.”

Before I can respond, Brady comes around me. “You son of a bitch!” Brady shoves Tug backward. His back hits the counter. “How could you?”

Tug looks at me with a frown. “I love her, too.”

“Fuck! I gotta get the hell out of here.”

I practically hang off Brady’s arm, begging for him to stop. “Not when you’re upset. Let’s talk about this.”

“Talk?” he scoffs, pulling his arm from my grip. I sag to the floor on my knees. “Oh! Now you want to talk?”

I see Tug out of the corner of my eye. He starts to walk toward me. I’m relieved when he stops. The last thing I want is the two of them to end up beating the shit out of each other.

“Please, Brady.” I’m desperate for him to stay. “That’s not fair.”

“You’re right. You ripped my fucking heart out.” He won’t look at me. “Life’s not fair, Sunshine. I know this better than anyone.” He walks over to the door and holds it open.

I rock on my knees. My body is near convulsions, knowing this may be our last insurmountable hurdle. I stand up, ready to beg him to stay and talk, not to leave me.

“I think you should leave.” He looks at Tug, and then at me. “Both of you.

“What?” I’m so confused, and now I’m scared. Where will I go? I need my things. Andrew?

“You heard me.” The calm in his voice alarms me. There’s no emotion in it. I’d rather have him sound angry. At least then I’d know he cares. “I said, get out.”

Tug removes his keys from the counter and shoulders past Brady. I’m still shocked and starring at Brady when I hear Tug’s car leave.

“Tori, you need to leave.”

As I reach for my purse, my mind falters, deciding where to go for a hotel and who to call. “Okay. I’ll go,” I say, walking toward the door with my head down.

Andrew storms into the room.

“No, don’t leave.” He grabs hold of my leg. “You promised you’ve never leave.”

Brady bends down, attempting to pry him from my leg. “It’s okay, Andrew.”

“No, it’s not. You’re making her leave. I hate you.” Andrew releases my leg and shoots past Brady. He’s out the door before either one of us can react. Brady turns to go after him, chasing him down the driveway. I stand at the door, watching as Brady gets closer to catching him. The shadows shift as light filters through the trees. I look to the left as the headlights draw closer. Brady’s voice echoes my own as we scream out for Andrew to stop. The tires screech as the car takes the bend. It’s driving too fast. In slow motion, I watch the car come down the hill. The tires screech again as the driver catches sight of Andrew darting into the street. Brady comes to an abrupt halt. Together we watch Andrews’s tiny body launch up into the air before slamming into the front window of the car. He’s propelled forward and rolls off the front of the car into the brush across the street. I slide on my flip-flops and run for him, screaming hysterically. Brady rounds the front of the car and rips the driver from the front seat. I hear him screaming about speeding before he’s landing his fist repeatedly in the guy’s face. I can’t stop it because I have to get to Andrew. I kneel next to him. He’s not moving. I can’t tell if he’s breathing. I’m afraid to touch him, but all I want to do is hold him. A car suddenly pulls up next to us. I watch as Tug leaps from his Porsche and heads for Brady. He rips Brady off the guy. Brady’s fury turns on Tug, and he goes to swing at him. Tug ducks and tackles Brady around the waist. They fall to the ground. I hear Tug telling him to stop, to go to Andrew. Brady runs for us, drops to his knees, and reaches for Andrew.

“We shouldn’t move him.”

“Don’t fucking tell me what to do!” His voice is full of malice. He must have considered what I said, though, because he doesn’t attempt to move Andrew. He brushes some hair from his eyes. His fingers press into Andrew’s neck. His shoulders relax. “He has a pulse.”

I hear sirens in the distance and look up to see flashing lights closing in on us. They’re on us seconds later. The paramedics shout at us in Spanish to back away. I can’t stand, but I move over in the grass. They lay out a stretcher next to Andrew before securing his neck in a brace. They carefully lift him onto the stretcher. That’s when I see the dark puddle of liquid on the ground. It’s huge. He’s lost a lot of blood.

I jump to my feet, following the stretcher to the ambulance. They lift Andrew inside. Brady steps up and climbs in next to him. I’m lifting my foot to the step, reaching for the handle to hoist myself up, when Brady’s stern voice stops me.

“You don’t need to come.”

I step down as tears fill my eyes, and I watch as they close the doors and drive away. My eyes travel over the shards of broken glass that litter the ground at my feet. Images of Andrew slamming into the window flash through my mind. I fall to my knees as guilt and grief take over every inch of me. Splinters of broken glass bite into my knees. I welcome the pain. I need it.