Island Rush (33 page)

“What?” I asked as I sat alongside him. He didn’t seem to be in pain, but that was also because he made no attempt to move, excluding a few careful adjustments due to comfort.

He looked at the bags, his eyes falling on a slightly familiar small and black leather bag.  He appeared stunned as I observed him. He turned to me and gave me a weird grin. “That’s my camera bag. Well, Jill’s camera bag since I accidentally took hers,” he chuckled and shook his head. “It’s a little strange. Out of all the bags, you happened to grab mine and toss it out of the plane.”

I reached over, grabbing the slick leather bag. Handing it to his curious self, he carefully unzipped the stubborn zipper.  He took the camera out and handed me the bag. I took it and found that most of the inside were dry, which he noticed as he examined the camera.

“It’s dry,” he said, looking skeptical.  He looked over at the bag in my hands. “Wow, and so is the inside.”

He looked at it for a minute before he moved his hand up to the top of the large Canon camera and flicked the small button.  And sure enough, it worked.  A sound I wasn’t sure I would hear ever again hit my ears once the camera beeped, signaling it was on. He jumped slightly at the sound, not thinking it would work. 

That cost him more comfort. He groaned and settled stiffly back against the tree.  At least it wasn’t too bad.  By the time he has relaxed again, I took the camera to look it over.  Then my eyes hit the screen that showed what the lens was pointing at.  It wasn’t a shock to me. It hasn’t been years on this island to have one get shocked after so long to see a camera. It did make me realize how far our world has come since the beginning of time.  It made me appreciate my life back home a little more, no matter the abuse I would go through.

The digital sight of my legs through the lens shined while I continued to look at the camera. Not one spot of it was wet. Full battery too. My eyes moved slowly to Casey, seeing he was occupied as he looked through one of the bags that I already sifted through before. He pulled out the men’s clothes, one article of clothing at a time, observing it carefully.

My eyes flicked back down to the camera. On the side of the screen, there were four buttons, each dealing with settings. One of the buttons stood out. It was one that allowed you to view your pictures that you had already taken. I pressed it without hesitation.  This seemed like the finest form of entertainment.

It took me straight to the first picture taken on this memory card. It was one with Jill, her arms linked with another girl who was very pretty like her. Jill looked exactly the same in the picture that sat on Casey’s desk.  She looked nice and happy. The two friends smiled sweetly at the camera, the background appearing to be a place downtown somewhere. This was her camera, I had to remember.

She looked happy and fun.  I wasn’t sure what exactly I expected, but it wasn’t that.  I figured she was the type too wrapped up in her image and what other people thought of her.  But there were no pictures of her in a wedding dress or posing pathetically for a selfie.  As I flicked through it, it didn’t seem anything like that. 

She looked like a normal, nice, pretty, and mature woman. It made my stomach start doing invisible flips at the sight, knowing that Casey was cheating on this woman, who looked so innocent. That night I kissed him, the night he screamed at me that I was a slut for going after him, it hadn’t sunk in at first. And when he finally told me his feelings, it was as if any drama between him and me became irrelevant. Now, though, his words started ringing in my ears again.  I started to see less of a bitch and more of a victim in these photos.

Jill was a normal fun woman before. And yeah, it’s instinct to always try to seem okay and smile every time a camera is involved. However, it didn’t look fake, and I knew she had truly been a good person. There were a few pictures of her and her friends, but I held in a gasp at the pictures with Casey in them. He looked… so confident that he was with the right girl, his smile true and bright. He didn’t look at all like the mean man he claimed she turned him into or the perfect looking robot. He looked as he did now: open and happy, except he was shaved and clean.  All these pictures must have been taken before she corrupted his life.

One was a close up of Jill’s face with Casey standing behind her, his arms wrapped around her. It hit home when I went to the next picture that looked exactly the same. Only Jill’s head was tilted back and his forward and turned, sharing a sweet kiss.

Before I could look at the next picture, I could feel his eyes on me and what I was doing.  I didn’t even think that I was crossing a line, but that’s what it felt like to be looking at these pictures.  Internally kicking myself, I turned and saw he stopped looking through the one bag. He was about halfway through it, but now his hands rested at his sides as he watched me. His expression was serious and a little a guilty.  I bet my face reflected the same.  Because now, I did feel a little guilty.

There were so many things that worked in our favor.  We were here for who knows how long.  We are alone, just the two of us. There were no laws to follow or people to judge us. The fact that Jill was a terrible person gave it the kick. Whether she was or not, stranded or at home, teacher or student, it was still cheating.  She didn’t know. She thought he loved her, not me. She is the innocent one in all of this.

It still hurt him to be with me.  Not because he loved her but because he was a man who was about doing the right and honorable thing. He said he was finished with Jill. He said his guilt was worth it, but this made me want to make him feel 100 percent better about being with me.  Staring down at these pictures, it made it all so real too.  That they loved each other before.  It made me feel like a terrible person, knowing she still felt that way and didn’t know about me.

I put the camera down, shutting off the damaging images. I watched him as he did me. “You… really did love her.”

He looked down. “Yeah, I did.”

He hid his guilt from me more before. Now, I could see it fully exposed. That being with me was driving his guilt.

Chapter 32

“I hope you don’t think those pictures mean anything to me now. Those were taken about a year and a half ago,” Casey said, his face projecting sadness, worry, and guilt.

I sighed, moving closer to him and leaning against the tree with him, careful not to make contact with his fragile body. The suitcase of men’s clothes was laid beside him and in easy reach for him. It was half empty, the clothes he already looked over draped over his lap. He continued sorting through the clothes he was finding. It was the same one I found yesterday, the one with the condoms and magazines. I planned on watching his reaction to finding those things at the bottom, but I wasn’t in the greatest mood now.

“I know. The pictures though made me realize what we are actually doing. That she is innocent in all this. I saw that what you two had was real.”

He turned his bowed head from focusing on the clothes before him and met his eyes with mine. His brows were slightly creased in thought, looking at my face too. “Yes, it was real.
Was
,” he emphasized.

“I know. I’m not afraid of you still having feelings for her. I know that you love me. Now, I just see why you had a hard time with all this. I understand, even though I don’t feel nearly as bad.  I just want to make you feel better and not guilty.  I’m sorry to have caused that guilt since I was the one who ultimately came between--”

“You’re wrong,” he cut me off. “It’s not your fault. If it were between being here with you or back home with Jill and my brainwashed life, I would choose you and this shit-hole of an island. If anything, I’m glad this happened because I’m myself again and happy. I only feel guilty now because she doesn’t know any of this. Doesn’t know that I love you and not her. So I feel as if I am cheating.”

My first reaction was to try to cheer him up, try to convince him he shouldn’t feel guilty. However, I was feeling a little worse since he put it that way.  “I still came between you.  It makes me feel like a whore in a sense.”

“Don’t! Yes, technically you could be the ‘other woman’ in this. But if this happened back home, if we were together, then I would have broken it off with her first. We are on an island so I can’t tell her it’s over. I don’t have that choice. Whether she believes I’m dead or not, she would still be, or have been, my fiancé. I just wasn’t given a chance to tell her.”

I nodded, taking a deep breath. “You’re right. You have no control what she does and doesn’t know. If you did, if you did have that control to do so, I know you would have broken it off with her. We can’t really blame ourselves but even beyond our control, it is still cheating,” I said, accepting where he was coming from.  It was sucky that he felt guilty because he didn’t have access home to tell her it was over.

“That’s why I feel guilty,” he nodded.  “And I hope you don’t take on that guilt anymore. It doesn’t change anything. We both know it’s wrong in that sense, but we don’t exactly have an option,” he said.  His eyes moved back to his lap, continuing with the clothes he found as he spoke. “It’s either being together with the guilt or not being together at all. I am sorry to say this, but you can’t take the guilt away from me, though I know you want to.  It’s not your fault, it’s mine for thinking a certain way,” he said with a smile, trying to make me feel a bit better. 

“Does knowing that she turned into a cold and heartless person make you feel a little less guilty though?”

He chuckled.  “Oh definitely.  Trust me, it really does.”

“That’s why I only feel a little guilty.  I wanted you to be happy and knew she wasn’t doing that,” I said, nodding.  I was glad to hear him go more in depth about this guilt he had.  After all, I started feeling a little of it and couldn’t imagine his.  Though I couldn’t take it away, it did help what he told me.

Pulling out another shirt, he looked up and smiled kindly at me. “And by the way, men like me don’t fall for whores.”

I crooked a smile before laughing.  After he had pulled out another pair of pants, I saw his face reddened at the sight of something, his lips pulled in tight. I couldn’t help a smile and laugh. I couldn’t see inside the bag from the angle I was sitting in unless he were to take it out. All the clothes must have been gone and what remained had to be the magazines.  The look on his face showed it was true. He looked up at me and cracked a smile, pulling out and revealing the magazines. “I am interested in knowing what this guy had in mind for our trip,” he said.

“That’s what I wanted to know,” I chuckled.  I watched him set the dirty magazines aside since he was about to go through the last of that suitcase.  I couldn’t help myself from teasing him some more.

“Did you put those magazines in the ‘keep’ pile?  Any good reason why, huh?” I said, catching him off guard.  I knew we were going to use it for the fire, but I liked trying to give him a hard time. I kept a serious face, raising an eyebrow.

His face turned redder. Eyes shifting everywhere but to me, he was turning uncomfortable. “It’s for the fire,” he tried clarifying.

“Sure,” I said calmly, but my smile slipped.

“You don’t believe me?” he asked, catching on.

“Nope. You’re a very dirty man. Sitting here all day gets boring real fast. Now, you found something to keep you busy. Too bad you can’t move.”

He smiled, shaking his head. “You’re the one with a dirty mind. I like that about you.”

I laughed. “That I have a dirty mind?”

Thinking it over, his lips curved into a gentle smile. “That you aren’t afraid to speak your mind. It always annoyed me when women would hold their words back because it’s not ‘lady-like’ or because girls ‘shouldn’t say things like that.’ You’re different.”  He licked his lips before he parted them, teeth shining with happiness on the topic of the situation. “You aren’t afraid of what people think. You don’t care about holding back. You speak your mind and show that you can be just as strong, brave, and worthy of any man.”

“Well, that’s how it should be.  No guy is any better than me when it comes to that.”

“Exactly.  That’s what I have always seen with you. Women sometimes put themselves down because they think they don’t have a right that men somehow do. But you put yourself up there like you should.  You fight back.  You do and say what you want.  I always admired that. And, yeah, it’s kind of hot,” he said with smiling lips.

Letting out a soft chuckle with me, I blushed, unable to hold my smile back either.  Biting my lip, I scanned his bright face.  You never would have guessed he was hurt by just looking at his face. It was filled with confidence and admiration that made my heart jump. Taking his beautiful face in, the prickly hairs on his cheeks and chin, I glanced up into his eyes.  They were alert and excited, just watching me.

I couldn’t stop smiling at his words. I felt lucky to have a guy who can speak his mind like that and truly believe that about me. And, he did mean every word.  I understood that people can never really tell if someone is telling the truth, but I felt I could rely on how well I read him.  He allowed himself to be open, and it made me trust him.

“I seriously don’t get it. How did I ever end up with a guy too perfect for this world? Too perfect for me? And too impossible to be with? I keep expecting to wake up and find you were just a dream. I even pondered whether or not you were actually here with me. That maybe I was stranded here and just went insane.  I can’t even describe it. You are so impossible but so real at the same time.  I got so lucky.”

His face creased with stunned happiness and love. I started to feel slightly dizzy watching the emotions play across his face. It was intense, and he had yet to say anything. He closed his eyes for a minute before opening them and meeting mine, trying to clear his head for some reason. His voice was higher pitched and quivering slightly when he spoke.  “I… I can’t tell you how much that…that just hit me. How much…” He cleared his throat. “I… I really cannot understand.  But I know you really do mean that,” he said, not only struggling to speak but find the right words.  He was so overwhelmed by what I said, and it was a lovely sight.  It was as if he only now realized that this was happening.  That we were actually together.

“For an English teacher, you have a hard time with words sometimes,” I said, smiling.  My heart was beating fast, my eyes catching his. 

“You can’t blame me. Your words were so beautiful,” he said, pursing his smiling lips.  Finally, he moved his attention back to the suitcase.  “I don’t know about you, but I want to see what else is here.”

I helped him out by grabbing another bag.  I ignored the other suitcase I rifled through.  It held all girls’ clothing and a cracked make-up case with a few other things.  So, I dragged two other bags over that we retrieved from the plane.  They were both carry-on bags, one a duffel bag and one a blue backpack. I sat beside him again, sliding the backpack to his side while I sat down with the duffel bag in my lap.

Then from the corner of my eye, I saw him go rigid.  His body tensed, just barely this time.  It made me worry, seeing the pain plain on his face.  A few moments later after he calmed down, I had to ask.  “What caused that reaction? You didn’t even move.”

His face reddened, and I knew then what it was. Glancing at him and leaning to get a better look, I caught sight of the bottom of the suitcase. I forgot about the condoms that rested there where the magazines were. I turned back to him and smiled, sitting back against the tree. He smiled shyly back, embarrassed at his reason for blushing.

“I love your blush,” I said. “Just don’t understand why you had that reaction,” I said, calculating his face.

He seemed shocked I would wonder. “Well, they are condoms.”

“Yes, they are. I should hope you know what those are by now,” I teased.

He laughed, raising his eyebrows. “Finding them just caught me off guard, that’s all,” he said, holding in a chuckle when he glanced up at me, meeting my eyes for a long moment.  He looked slightly amused as well.

Dipping my eyebrows slightly, I scoffed and shook my head.  I hope my own blush wasn’t obvious.  “You sure it didn’t excite you?  I mean it must have done something to send you hurting, huh?  Huh?” I pushed.

He shook his head and started laughing harder.  “No, no, it did not. Now,” he said, willing his laugh to go away.  “Let’s look through the bags before you distract me anymore.”

Smiling, I watched him grab the backpack and pull it into his lap. Paying attention to what this bag held first, I put my attention there.  Watching with excitement, Casey zipped open the bag. He reached his hand in the bag, searching through it.

Then, I saw his mouth drop open.  His eyes found mine a second later, and my heart sped up at such a reaction. His arm froze in the bag, and I knew he found something good. I leaned over, trying to get his same angle so I could possibly see. My eyes found what his had, and I stared in shock.  That was the last thing I expected to find.