Authors: Italo Calvino
“Me? I'm fine!”
“Are you sorry for that slap you gave me?”
“Have you thought about the slap I owe you?”
“Come, Catherine, say you're sorry! Otherwise I'll take another wife.”
“Go right ahead! No one is stopping you!”
“But if you say you're sorry, I'll take you back.”
“No.”
The prince then formally declared that his wife was dead and that he intended to remarry. He wrote all the kings for portraits of their daughters. The portraits arrived, and the most striking was of the king of England's daughter. The prince summoned mother and daughter to conclude the marriage.
The entire royal family of England arrived in Palermo, and the wedding was set for the morrow. What did Catherine do in the meantime but have three fine royal outfits readied for her three childrenâNaples, Genoa, and Venice. She dressed up like the queen she actually was, took
the hand of Naples, clothed as crown prince, climbed into a ceremonial carriage, followed by Prince Genoa and Princess Venice, and they drove off to the palace.
The wedding procession with the prince and the daughter of the king of England was approaching, and Catherine said to her children, “Naples, Genoa, Venice, go and kiss your father's hand!” And the children ran up to kiss the prince's hand.
At the sight of them, the prince could only admit defeat. “This is the slap you were to give me!” he exclaimed, and embraced the children. The princess of England was dumbfounded; she turned her back on everybody and stalked off.
Catherine explained all the mystery to her husband about the ladies who looked so much alike, and the prince couldn't apologize enough for what he had done.
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They lived happily ever after,
While here we sit grinding our teeth.
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(
Palermo
)
152
A king went hunting with his men. The sky clouded up, and it began to pour down rain. The men ran off in every direction, and the king lost his way and took refuge in an isolated cottage.
In the cottage lived an old man, whom the king asked, “Will you give me shelter?”
“Come up to the fire and dry yourself, Majesty.”
The king hung up his wet clothes and stretched out on a couch to sleep. In the night he awakened and heard the old man talking. Finding him nowhere in the house, he went to the door. The sky was clear once more, and the stars had come out. There sat the old man on the doorstep. “To whom are you talking, my good man?” asked the king.
“I was talking to the planets, Majesty,” answered the old man.
“What were you telling them?”
“I was thanking them for the luck they have brought me.”
“What luck, good man?”
“They favored me by giving my wife a son tonight, and you too they have favored this same night by giving your wife a daughter. When my son grows up, he will become your daughter's husband.”
“You ill-bred old man! How dare you tell me such nonsense! You shall certainly pay for it!” He got dressed again, and at dawn took the road that led back to the palace.
Along the way he was met by knights and valets who had come in search of him. “We have good tidings, Majesty! The queen gave birth last night to a fine baby girl!”
The king rode to the royal palace, and the minute he dismounted, in the midst of all the court welcoming him and the nurses showing him the baby, he issued a decree: let all the baby boys born in the city last night be found and slain. Soldiers went through the city, which in an hour's time they had thoroughly searched. Only one baby boy had been born during the night. They tore it away from its mother, by order of the king, and carried it off to the forest.
The soldiers were two in number, and when they raised their sword over the baby, they were moved to pity. “Must we really put this innocent creature to death? There's a dog; let's kill it and smear its blood on the swaddling clothes, which we'll take back to the king. We'll leave the baby here, to the mercy of God.” They did just that, and the baby remained in the forest crying.
An Ismailian merchant named Giumento happened along, on his way to trade his wares. He heard the child wailing, found him in the bushes, quieted him down, and took him home to his wife. “Wife, this time I bring back something I did not buyâa little baby I found in the middle of the forest. We have no children ourselves and now heaven has given us one.”
They reared him and kept him with them up to his twentieth year, in all of which time he thought he was the merchant's own son. On his twentieth birthday the merchant said, “My son, I am growing old and here you are a man now: take charge of my accounts, books, and coffers. You will look after all my trade abroad.”
The youth packed boxes and suitcases and, accompanied by his servants, left home with the blessing of the merchant and his wife. He arrived in Spain, where news of such a rich merchant reached the royal palace. The king sent for him to come to the palace and show his jewels. Now the king of Spain was the very king who had ordered the baby killed. He called in the princess, who'd grown up to be a beautiful maiden of twenty, and said, “Come see if there's some jewel here you like.”
Seeing the young merchant, the princess fell in love with him.
“What's the matter, my daughter?”
“Nothing, Papa.”
“Do you want any of these things? Speak up.”
“No, Papa, I desire neither jewels nor precious stones. I want this handsome youth for a husband.”
The king looked at the merchant. “Tell me who you are.”
“I am the son of Giumento, an Ismailian merchant. I'm traveling around the world to gain experience in trade, so I'll be fit to succeed my old father.”
Considering the vast wealth of the merchant, the king decided to give the youth his daughter in marriage. The boy returned home to invite his father and mother to the wedding. He told them about his meeting with the king and about the marriage engagement. At that, his mother turned pale and began reviling him. “You ungrateful man! So you intend to leave me, do you? You've fallen in love with this princess and can't wait to leave home. Off with you, then, and don't ever let me see you in this house again!”
“But, Mother, what have I done to you?”
“Don't you âMother' me! I'm not your real mother, anyway!”
“What! Then who is my mother, if you're not?”
“Goodness knows. You were found in the middle of a forest!” And she told the whole story to the poor boy, who almost fainted.
In the face of his wife's anger, Giumento the merchant was helpless. Deeply grieved, he supplied the youth with money and merchandise and let him go his way.
In despair, the boy came to a forest at night. He threw himself on the ground under a tree and, pounding the earth with his fists, sighed. “Mother, Mother, what is there left for me to do, all alone and miserable. Lovely spirit of my mother, help me!”
As he wept, there appeared beside him an old man in rags, with a long white beard. “What's the matter, my son?” he asked. The youth opened up his heart to him, telling him how he couldn't go back to his betrothed, having found out he was not the real son of the Ismailian merchant.
“What are you afraid of?” said the old man. “Let's go to Spain. I am your father, and I will help you.”
The youth looked at the old man in rags and exclaimed, “Youâmy father? You're imagining things!”
“I assure you, my son, that I am your father. If you come with me, I will bring you prosperity. Otherwise you are doomed.”
The young man looked him in the eye and said to himself, “Doomed in any case, what have I to lose by going along with him?” He took the old man onto his horse, and they eventually came to Spain.
He went to the king, who asked, “Where is your father?”
“Right here,” said the youth, pointing to the old man in rags.
“That man? And you have the impudence to come and ask for my daughter's hand?”
“Majesty,” the old man cut in, “I am the old man who spoke with the planets and announced to you the birth of your daughter and of my son who would marry her. This boy here is none other than that son of mine.”
The king was furious. “Get out, uncouth old man! Guards, seize him!”
The guards came forward, at which the old man pulled open the rags covering his chest, and there gleamed the emperor's Golden Fleece.
“The emperor!” cried king and guards in unison.
“May the Holy Crown forgive me!” said the king, kneeling at the emperor's feet. “I knew not to whom I spoke. This is my daughter; do with her as you will.”
The emperor was a man who had tired of court life, so he spent his days traveling about the world by himself in disguise, conversing with the stars and planets.
Everyone hugged and kissed, and a date for the wedding was set. The Ismailian merchant and his wife were called to Spain, where the boy welcomed them with open arms, saying, “Mother and Fatherâfor you were a real mother and father to me!âturning me out of the house was the making of me! Although I'm marrying the princess, you will remain with me always.”
The two old people were moved to tears of love. The emperor's son married the king's daughter, and there was great rejoicing throughout the city.
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They lived happily ever after,
While here we are picking our teeth.
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(
Palermo
)
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153
There was once a king and queen's daughter with such beautiful long hair that she would let no hairdresser touch it, but always combed and arranged it herself. One day while she was dressing her hair, she laid her comb down on the window ledge. A dove lit on the ledge, took the comb in his beak, and flew off with it.
“Oh, my goodness! The dove has taken my comb off!” cried the princess, but by then the dove was already a good distance away.
The next morning the princess was again at the window fixing her hair when the dove returned, seized her hair clasp, and flew off. The third day, she had no sooner done her hair and still had the cloth around her shoulders than down dipped the dove, grabbed hold of the cloth, and made off with it. This time the maiden, truly vexed, climbed down a silken ladder and ran after the dove. But instead of fleeing like all other doves, this one waited for her to approach, then took off only to light a little farther away. The maiden became more and more angry. By a series of short flights, the dove had advanced into the forest, with the princess right behind it. In the heart of the forest stood a solitary hut, and the dove flew inside. The door happened to be open, and the princess caught sight of a handsome youth, whom she asked, “Did you see a dove fly in carrying a cloth?”
“Yes,” replied the young man, “I am that very dove.”
“You?”
“Yes.”
“How can that be?”
“The fairies have cast a spell over me, and I can't go out in human guise until you have sat at the window of this hut for a year, a month, and a day, in sunlight and in starlight, with your eyes fixed on the mountain across the way, where I shall fly as a dove.”
Without the least hesitation, the princess took a seat at the window. The dove flew off and came to rest on the mountain. One day went by, then another, then a third, and the princess kept her seat, her eyes trained on the mountain. Weeks passed, and the princess sat on through sunlight, moonlight, and starlight, as though she were made of wood. And little by little she turned dark, ever darker, until she was as black as pitch. Thus passed a year, a month, and a day, and the dove turned back into a man and came down the mountain. When he saw how black the princess had become, he exclaimed, “Phew! What a sight you are! Aren't you ashamed
to show yourself after becoming so ugly for the sake of a man? Off with you!” And he spit on her.
The poor girl was mortified. She trudged off and, passing through a field and weeping, she meet three fairies.
“What's the matter?” asked the fairies.
Weeping, she told them her story.
“Don't worry,” they said. “You won't stay like that for long.” The first fairy stroked the girl on the face, and she was beautiful once again, but far more so than originally; now she was as radiant as the sun. The second fairy clothed her in an empress's gown, while the youngest fairy presented her with a basket of jewels. “Now,” announced the fairies, “we will be with you at all times disguised as your maidservants.”
Thus they set out and reached the city whose king happened to be that youth. In the twinkling of an eye, the fairies had a palace put up opposite the king's, but a hundred times more beautiful than his. The king looked out, saw the wonder, and thought he was dreaming. At one of the windows appeared a girl who seemed to be an empress, and the king was charmed. “If he starts paying you court,” said the fairies, “encourage him.” The first day the king stared, the second day he winked, finally he asked if he might call on her. The first couple of times the princess said no, then at last, “Well, Majesty, if you want to visit me, you must prepare a landing stage from my balcony to yoursâa carpet of rose petals two inches thick.”