J Roars (7 page)

I reached the park and did a lap around it. I was slow rolling past for the second time, in a cop car nonetheless, when I saw her sitting on a bench. She was looking around, probably settling in before she pulled her Kindle out of her purse. I drove around the park one more time, finding a spot to
stop the car. As soon as I parked, she got up and started wandering around. She moved away from my where I was idling the Crown Vic, so I pulled out and made another lap. I needed to get to her, but I had to keep the car close. I might have been paranoid, considering there were tons of people outside, in and around the park, though the Bear in me was in full on protective mode. I couldn't talk to Elle in the middle of such an open area. I'd need to get her out of there, and do it without anyone noticing.

I found her by one of the many statues
dotting the outdoor plaza. To most, it looked like she was reading the plaque attached to the figure who was important enough to be memorialized in bronze. To me, she was someone different. She was a woman who didn't let shit slip by her. My laps in the Crown Vic hadn't gotten past her, and she was on alert, waiting to see what I was going to do next. Only she didn't know it was me.

I found another parking spot and got out of the car, leaving it running. I wanted to
sprint to her, grab her in my arms, wrap her body around mine, and profess my love for her and the importance of her safety. I did none of those things, instead keeping it cool, moving towards her at as natural a pace as I was capable of. I wanted to call out to her, let her know it was me. I could tell she was freaked out and saw a man moving toward her.

When I was less than fifty feet from her, she finally turned her head, recognition coloring her face. She shoved something in her purse and ran to me, leaping into my arms, making the exact scene I was trying to avoid.

She asked me something, not sure what. I saw her tears, and some part of me wanted to shed my own at seeing her gorgeous face, but all I could think about was getting us back in the car and out of everyone's view. I pushed her in through the driver side and across the bench seat. I got in and pulled us into an alley behind some store fronts I'd seen on one of my laps. Once we were parked and out of the public eye, I grabbed her, pulling her across the seat to me. I buried my face in her hair. She was straddling me in the car, and all I could do was inhale her scent and try to remain calm. She had tears streaming down her face and I had to keep it together for her.

"What are you doing here?" I asked, holding her face in my hands. God she was beautiful. It was like I was laying eyes on her for the first time all over again. Despite her red eyes with trails of tears running down them, she was my angel, my light.

She didn't answer, instead laying her head on my shoulder. I felt her lips in my neck, she inhaled, just as I'd done to her. I held onto the back of her head, wishing this moment could last forever, that the world outside the Crown Victoria would melt away, kinda like at the drive-through carwash. You know how it feels like you are in another universe in the carwash? The soap and water spraying around you, the brushes and noise making you feel like you are a spaceship moving through the cosmos. As stupid as it sounds, that's exactly how it felt in that moment. It was just us, and as much as I wanted to keep it like that, I knew I couldn't. I brought her face back between my hands and lifted her head form my shoulder. I wiped her tears and held my lips against her. I wanted to ravage her, to own her body completely, yet in that moment I merely inhaled, taking her light into me.

"Do I smell the same?” she whispered.

“Always. Like golden rays. You smell like light.” She was my light, my golden rays. She was sitting on my lap blinding me. Letting her know we needed to get out of the spot we were in, she informed me of an apartment she had. I wanted to ask a million questions about why she had an apartment, but that would have to wait.

I fished a burner out of my pocket and called Dig.

"Come get the Crown."

"What the fuck, brother? Where are you? Is everything OK? Did the wrong person see you?"

"No, everything’s OK, but I need the car to disappear for now."

Dig was livid. "What the hell are you doing? You want me to come get the Crown, you don't tell me where you are or what's going on. I don't have a clue what the fuck you're dealing with." I was in no mood to answer questions, even really good ones.

“I’ll text you the coordinates when I arrive. Keep it low profile. Have Son come with and slip into the Crown. I’ll let you know when I need it back.”

"Oh fuck tha
t and fuck you, brother. I'll have one of the Zetas drop me off so we can talk. Park the Crown a block or so from where you're staying. I'll have a Son come with and wait with the car. I'm coming to check this one out who has you acting like a damned fool. Send me the coordinates to the Crown and where you're going with her."

“Fine," I agreed. "It’ll be dark soon. Don’t park close. Text me on the burner when you’re there.”

I hung up and pulled the car out of the alley, driving toward where she said her apartment was. “We’re talking when we get to my place. I won’t be left in the dark anymore," she told me, eyes closed and our fingers intertwined.

I knew she had questions and she deserved answers, but it'd have to wait. “I know.”

I found a 7-11 style convenience store and pumped the address into Son's coordinate gadget. Sure enough, out came the longitude and latitude. Somehow it never ceased to amaze me how well it worked. I texted them to Dig on the burner, and we left the car in the lot. Even if I wasn't intimately acquainted with Elle and the way her mind worked, any idiot would've known that she was ruminating on a million questions. I just needed her to hang in there a little longer.

We got to her place, found a back entrance, and climbed a flight of stairs that practically dropped you in front of her door. I wasn't sure if that was good or bad. I guess it could be either. Someone's in your place and you need to escape quick—good, you can hit the stairs running. Someone's coming from the front and the back of the building—bad, you're screwed, stuck in your apartment. I was going to stick with scenario one for my sanity's sake.

Once inside, I checked the place for anything that might indicate the location had been compromised. As I walked through the main room and the adjoining bathroom, I texted Dig the new set of coordinates. Elle went to speak again, but I shushed her, making her angrier. I could see it in her face. God, I loved her. She was pissed that I wasn't letting her speak, and even though it was for a good reason and I shouldn't find her anger so appealing, I did. Her independence and ability to take charge of a situation was part of what made her glow. The fact that she was unable to do either in that moment, coupled with the obvious irritation etched on her face, was just another side of the fire inside her that burned bright.

She was standing by the door when I heard Dig's soft knocks. I tapped twice, Dig tapped back, and I ushered Elle to the side. I opened the door just enough for Dig to come inside. If steam could've come out of Elle's ears, it would've happened in that moment. Her face was taut when she began to ask, "Who's—" I cut her off, holding a finger against my closed lips.

Dig came in with one of Son's gadgets that I recognized as one that checked for bugs. He was making sure her apartment wasn't wired, that no one was watching or listening to us. Once he was done, he turned to me, and without Elle noticing, slipped something in my hand, ushering me to slip it in my pocket. I looked at him, unclear what he was handing me.

Later
, he mouthed.

"Clear," he said out loud.

“Clean.” I exhaled. No bugs. No wire taps. Maybe no one was aware she was here.

“You get the Crown Vic?” I asked him.

“Yep. This her?” Dig asked in regards to Elle, the woman he'd seen me falling apart over for the past few months. I nodded that yes indeed, this was the golden haired goddess who had my head twisted. "Why’s she here?” That was an excellent question that I didn't have an answer for, so I shrugged. “This ain’t good, brother.” I fucking knew that without his ass saying it. I was about to tell him this when Elle snapped her fingers at us.

“Yo! I’m right here. You can address me or not speak of me at all.”

A smile spread across my face and I held back tears. It had been a while since I'd seen the street smart, hardcore, take no prisoners Elle that I loved. As much as I didn't want to believe José, she
had
seemed broken the last time I saw her. The minute she snapped her fingers to show her disapproval for what was going on, I wanted to cry knowing she wasn't broken, merely dented.
My
Elle was incapable of being broken. She was a survivor, a warrior.

Dig found it funny t
oo and laughed, further irritating Elle. “Yep. Definitely old lady material.”

I laughed at his comment because it was true in a bittersweet way. She would have been perfect old lady material in Ratchet's MM.

Maybe sensing Elle could blow at any moment, he held his hand out to her. “Dig. Nice to meet ya.”

She just started at his hand, refusing to shake it.
“Dig, is it?” She gave him a head nod. “You wanna tell me what’s going on?”

Dig
put his hand down, obviously realizing she had no intention of shaking it, though his grin stayed a mile wide. “I’ll let J do that.” He turned to me and announced, “Lemme know when you’re ready, brother. Tomorrow's fine.” He winked and walked out the door.

I'm pretty sure Elle was ready to start screaming, but I had plans to make her scream in another way. Her questions would have to wait, as would her
annoyance. I looked at her with what I'm sure was lust filled eyes. She reciprocated the look as I moved towards her, locking the door and dropping her purse. I pulled her against my body, claiming it with my lips and frantically removing her clothes. She went from angry to horny in a second flat. I tore my shirt off and she dropped to her knees, licking my chest and pulling my pants off me. I was in heaven. Her tongue felt like angel wings fluttering across my skin. I was in the carwash again, the outside world ceasing to exist. She was about to take my boxers, my last article of clothing, off when I looked up and saw the token around her neck.

It stopped me dead in my tracks. She kept it, and what's more, was wearing it? I wrapped my hand around it and told her to stop.

"Are you sure?" I had to know she was in as deep as I was.

"About?"

"This." I said it and knew she understood me. Was she sure she wanted to be with a monster? Did she love me? She'd said it before, but I needed to be sure she meant it. I needed to know I had her light, something I was no longer capable of living without. That necklace was more than a piece of jewelry. It was a memory of our first date, the first time I realized how easy it was being with her, the day I fell irrevocably in love with her.

Instead of answering she finished removing our clothes in silence until I was naked and she wore only the necklace.
"Yes," she whispered, putting her hand over mine clutching her necklace, and using her other hand to bring mine between her legs. She was soaked with want and need—and it was for me.

She crawled up my body, and I held her body against mine, savoring her heat.

"I need to hear it. I need to know this is
us
, and that you aren't going anywhere." I paused, feeling the sudden urge to pour my heart out to her. Before I did so, I had to be sure we were in the same place, that she was in the carwash with me and would stay there—forever. "I need words, baby. Please, words. Tell me this is
us
, forever."

I felt her heart speed up against me and her eyes filled with fear. I was asking her to voice her feelings, to make herself vulnerable to me. I had ever
y intention of reciprocating, but I had to hear her say it.

"Take a breath, dear," I told her.

She closed her eyes, breathed in deeply, and exhaled slowly.

"Better?" I asked when I felt her breathing even out. Her heart continued to hammer, but so was mine. That's how desperate I was for her words, her body, her mind. I wanted all of it.

She placed her hand on my cheek. "My darling, Bear. You got me?"

She may not have spelled it out for me, but using my given name just about brought me to my knees. She'd never called me that. No one did since Gramps died. I knew in that moment that I'd rearrange the stars for her if she asked. Instead though, I answered her question.

"Every moment from now until eternity."

"Words, baby."
She used my line back on me. I wanted to smile at her, my clever angel. "Tell me with your words that you'll fight 'til the end for me."

"'Til the sun ceases to shine."
With that, I reattached my lips to hers. She sucked my lower lip into her mouth and all thoughts of drug cartels and violent uprisings melted away. In their place were thoughts of the woman I loved, Gram's ring on her finger, and a life filled with her light. In a word—bliss. 

I took us to the bed, lowering her on top of me. I slid into her and before I could get a sound out, she uttered, "That's where you should be.
" She moaned as I moved in and out of her, understanding her meaning. Our bodies were connected, and so were our minds, our hearts, our souls. I closed my eyes and savored the feeling of her on top of me, moaning and writhing at the rhythm that was uniquely ours. I loved that I could make her feel that way, and wanted her to know that we were partners, in more ways than one. I rolled her my side, so we lay facing each other. I continued to thrust in and out of her and she clutched my shoulders, dangling on the edge of an explosive orgasm.